Pain stood at a podium and said, “My fellow Akatsuki, we are here to honor the loss of our comrade Sasori.”
Pain looked at the side of the room and saw that Kisame was getting খাবার served to him from a buffet দ্বারা Zetsu and Konan.
“Hey we aren’t supposed to start eating until the service is over,” Pain complained.
“Well আপনি are kind of losing the crowd sir,” Zetsu said, “Maybe try to liven it up a bit.”
“It’s a funeral,” Pain said, “If things were alive we wouldn’t be here in the first place.”
Pain looked out at the crowd to see Hidan snoring with a small stream of drool going down his cheek. Kakuzu was sitting পরবর্তি to him counting money in his hand. Kisame sat back down পরবর্তি to Itachi and began eating as he handed Itachi his dango. Tobi was wailing while holding a box of tissues with Deidara inching away from him.
“Now Deidara will deliver a eulogy for Sasori,” Pain ব্যক্ত as he waved Deidara up.
Deidara’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t say anything about লেখা a eulogy un,” Deidara said.
“You were his partner,” Pain replied, “Who did আপনি think would give the eulogy?”
“I figured since আপনি like to hear yourself talk so much আপনি would do it un,” ব্যক্ত Deidara.
Before Pain could respond Tobi raised his hand. “Tobi wants to say something about Sasori-Sempai,” Tobi ব্যক্ত tearfully.
Pain looked surprised. “I guess it couldn’t hurt anything,” Pain ব্যক্ত as Tobi walked up to the podium with tissues in hand.
Tobi looked out at the crowd and said, “Even though Tobi never got to meet Sasori-Sempai, without him Tobi would never have met his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Deidara-Sempai.”
Deidara hid his face within his ছদ্মবেশ as the other members snickered at him.
Tobi continued, “Tobi knows Sasori-Sempai would be his bestest friend too. Maybe in আকাটসুকি heaven we can be bestest বন্ধু together.”
Tobi suddenly burst into tears and shouted, “Come back to us!” Tobi then jumps into the casket and hugs Sasori’s puppet body stunning everyone. Pain pried Tobi off of Sasori and put him back in his seat.
“Okay then,” Pain said, “Anyone else have something to say?”
As no one ব্যক্ত anything, Pain pulled Kakuzu up to the podium with his Bansho Tensei. Pain asked, “Why don’t আপনি say something Kakuzu?”
Kakuzu put his money in his pocket and stood up. “Well I didn’t really no Sasori either, but I made a ton of cash selling his puppets to Sunagakure,” Kakuzu ব্যক্ত as he looked at Sasori’s body, “So thanks for the free merchandise.”
Pain rubbed the side of his temple. “Hidan,” he said, “You’re a priest. Can আপনি say some spiritual mumbo jumbo?”
Hidan stood up and took Kakuzu’s place on the podium. “I shall open with a Jashinist Prayer,” Hidan said, “******* ****** ******* ***** ********.”
Everyone’s mouth hung open in shock. Pain raised his hand and said, “Shinra Tensei,” launching Hidan out of the cave.
Tobi looked at Deidara and asked, “What do those words mean Sempai?”
Deidara said, “We will tell আপনি when you’re older Tobi un.”
Konan walked up to the podium and placed a bouquet of paper ফুলেরডালি in the casket and asked, “Where did his body go?”
Everyone looked at Kakuzu.
“What?” he asked.
“You’re not selling that one Kakuzu,” Pain said, “Put it back.”
Kakuzu muttered under his breath as he set it back in the casket.
Pain got back to the podium and said, “I think I’ll just read Sasori’s last will and testament to close out the ceremony.”
Pain began to read the paper, “I, Sasori of the red sand, wish to make this final statement to আপনি my fellow আকাটসুকি members. To Deidara I wish to say, get a haircut because আপনি look like a girl. Also get help আপনি pyromaniac. To Kakuzu I wish to say, if আপনি sell my puppets I will haunt আপনি forever. To Hidan I wish to say, shut up. To Konan I wish to say, origami is not a real art form. To Pain I wish to say, the piercings don’t make আপনি look tough. They just make আপনি look আরো এমো স্টাইল than Itachi. To Kisame I wish to say, আপনি need to do something about your blue skin. Try moisturizer. To Zetsu, be grateful I mentioned আপনি at all.”
Everyone looked annoyed as Pain finished পাঠ করা the will. Deidara asked, “Can I blow him up now un?”
Pain threw the paper out and said, “Have at it. From now on when a member dies we just have a moment of silence.”