dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that আপনি were real, that আপনি all were , that he was.
There is evidence that আপনি were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming অথবা not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and আপনি diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, অথবা did i make আপনি up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without আপনি i dont know. But i want to find out. Do আপনি think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know আপনি wont read this, অথবা that fact that আপনি havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
And jake. Well, he reminds me of you. Your friendship, your beauty, your loveliness. And the easiness to be normal around, someone i diddnt have to try,that i will never experience again.
But jake could never replace you.
school sucks, i think only আপনি and him was my only exucuse to get up and out of বিছানা for school.
i havent spoken to my mum in ages. she calls and calls and abuses dad. but i just cant. she will be too concerned and ask প্রশ্ন that i dont want to answer অথবা just hear.
Well i প্রণয় আপনি alice. i have to make ডিনার for charlie, in silence again..
talk to আপনি in the পরবর্তি few days. funny how i say that, when i wont."

প্রণয় bella