My dad’s পছন্দ লেখক once said, “Trouble on vacations is just dancing lessons from God.” I never quite understood that quote until now. Our plane ride was to go from my city, to Denver, and then finally to San Francisco, where we would drive to my aunt’s condo. We were SUPPOSED to get there দ্বারা 12:00 am this morning, but nooooo. God had apparently decided to give us dancing lessons.
First, my parents misjudged the traffic. They weren’t expecting it to be as bad as it was during the trip there. আপনি see, the airport that we went to was very nice, but the neighborhood around it was VERY dangerous. It also happened to be the place with the slowest traffic. I’m very scared of bad neighborhoods, so I kind of freaked out. My parents thought that that would be the quickest part of the ride, and that everything else would be slow, but it turned out to be the other way around.
My dad also had a brilliant idea: there wouldn’t be any water the entire one-hour car ride, so we should all drink as much water as we possibly could before left. Well, we weren’t thirsty, but দ্বারা the time we hit traffic, I REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. Luckily, the airport parking lot was just a half-mile away from the airport, and the shuttle would take up there in about 10 minutes. (It had to take longer because of the traffic.)
That is, if we didn’t miss the shuttle.
Oh yes, we WATCHED our shuttle drive away as we pulled up into the parking lot. So there we were, stranded for about fifteen to twenty মিনিট in an incredibly dangerous neighborhood while I needed to go to the bathroom.
Finally, the shuttle pulled up, and we went to the airport. But, of course, as soon as we got to the airport my dad realized that he forgot his hat and jacket. (For those of আপনি who haven’t been to San Francisco before, it’s really cold, even in summer.) He had to call my aunt (who was in the middle of remodeling her apartment so we could stay there) and ask her if he could borrow one of hers. I doubt that she was happy about that.
The first plane ride would probably have been the best part of our vacation so far – if it wasn’t for the storm. There was this huge storm that was coming through, so in order to avoid it, they took a slightly longer route north. The problem was, north happened to be the worst part of the storm. I found out that my brother and I get VERY sick when we’re on an airplane with major turbulence. Plus, my dad got us tickets for the seats on the wing of the plane, the place with major turbulence. আপনি also can’t hear anything because of the motor, and আপনি can’t see very well out the window.
The সেকেন্ড plane was supposed to leave about 45 মিনিট after our plane touched down, and since our plane was about 10 মিনিট late, my dad ব্যক্ত that we had to hurry অথবা we’d miss our flight and have to spend the night in the airport.
That airport was VERY big, but luckily the section where our plane was going to leave was right পরবর্তি to where we got off. Well, I mean, it WOULD’VE been, if they didn’t change terminals at the last minute. Oh, and of course it was now halfway across the airport – about three blocks away. And guess who had two forty pound bags? That’s right, me. My dad ran ahead while I tried to follow. My mom and brother were lagging behind a little bit, but I didn’t wait, I just kept on running. দ্বারা the time we got to the right terminal my হৃদয় was hurting from all the running I just did with my suitcases. I ran up to the airport worker and asked her if we made it, and what did she reply?
“Yes, don’t worry. The plane will be boarding in about twenty minutes.”
I collapsed on the floor.
My parents got coffee and snacks, while I sat in a chair and মোপেড around, cursing the airline. The woman announced something, but I couldn’t quite make it out. I didn’t really care, anyway. If it didn’t involve us taking off, I didn’t want to hear it. My dad did hear though, and he got this weird expression on his face, like he was angry. He walked up to me and said, “Did আপনি hear that announcement?”
“No.”
“Oh. She ব্যক্ত that they were missing their flight attendants, and if they প্রদর্শনী up and they decide to take off, then we’re going to need to be present for it.”
Yep. IF their workers showed up, they MIGHT take off. MAYBE. It was 10:00 pm there (midnight my time), so I was dead tired. Luckily, two of their flight attendants showed up within the পরবর্তি 20 minutes. They announced that the third flight attendant’s plane was a little late, but that she’d প্রদর্শনী up in about 20 minutes. We all cheered, and then waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Finally, half an ঘন্টা later, they announced that her plane had arrived and she’d be coming in five minutes.
20 মিনিট later, they announced that they were going to find the flight attendant and would be boarding shortly.
11:00 pm their time and 1:00 am my time, they called someone named Ashley to come to the terminal immediately. My mom said, “Ah, so her name’s Ashley. Now we’ll know who to kill.” This started up a whole bunch of Ashley jokes among the stranded passengers. Finally a preppy looking blonde girl showed up looking the exact opposite of me: refreshed, happy, and not murderous at all. I was happy when they announced that we got free TV because the flight was late, though. Apparently ‘Ashley’ was hanging out in the airport because she forgot she had a flight.
We got on the plane and an annoying voice came over the intercom, “Hi, I’m Ashley, and I’ll be your flight attendant today.” We all exchanged looks. She went on about the safety rules and stuff, and finally concluded with, “And টেলিভিশন can be purchased for – oh, no, apparently it’s free for this flight.” Huh. I guess she missed the memo.
Right when we were about to take off, a scary grinding noise sounded from the bottom of the plane. I ব্যক্ত to my mom, “Oh god, Ashley’s flying the plane.”
We touched down (finally) and went to get our bags. We watched the bags coming for about 15 minutes, until we realized that we were looking at the wrong flights’ bags.
Dead tired, we dragged ourselves over to the correct baggage claim, just to find that they hadn’t started it yet.
I could have killed someone.
My mom leaned over to me and whispered, “Five bucks Ashley’s in charge of the luggage.”
I said, “Yeah, odds are she forgot to unload it and is now taking a nap, because what kind of crazy idiot would want to be awake at 2:30 in the morning? No me, that’s for sure. Us passengers are probably taking time away from her beauty sleep. How rude of us.”
The two moms পরবর্তি to us started applauding.
The airline announced over the speakers that, “We’re just starting to unload the bags from the plane. They’ll be there in about five minutes. Thank আপনি for your patience.”
Of course we all knew that this was going to happen, but we were still furious when, 10 মিনিট later, the bags still hadn’t arrived.
Long story short, we got our bags 10 মিনিট later, hailed a cab, and finally dragged ourselves up to my aunt’s apartment. My nine বছর old brother was practically sleepwalking, and my parents and I were also dead tired. The time was 3:00 am. My dad took out the key, fit it into the lock, and…
আপনি see, I ব্যক্ত before that my aunt had remodeled her condo to make it nicer for us to stay here. Apparently, she had also hired a locksmith to fix the lock that had broken and had a new key made. Which would have been great.
If the key worked.
Yep. My dad had to call my aunt at 3:00 in the morning and ask her to drive twenty মিনিট to give us her key. We couldn’t get into her condo and sleep until she arrived.
When my dad told me this, I looked at him and said, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” I turned to my mom, “I bet Ashley was the locksmith.”
My brother laid down on the floor and closed his eyes.
FINALLY, my aunt showed up, and gave us her key. We went into the apartment only to realize that the বিছানা that my brother and I were supposed to sleep on wasn’t blown up yet. My dad said, “We could probably blow it up, but it would take a while –”
“NO!” I yelled. “THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO BED!” And at four o’clock in the morning California time, six o’clock in the morning my time, I laid down on her পালঙ্ক (which was too short for me, but honestly I didn’t give a crap, and went to sleep.”
Now, আপনি might just blame this on poor airline service and bad tickets, and all that, but today was a different matter. We have no air conditioning in the condo, but SF is pretty cold most of the time, so it’s okay.
I mean, it’s okay if they’re not having record hot temperatures. *Facepalm*
Also, like I said, I’m very scared of dangerous neighborhoods. Every time I go to a new place, I ask my dad if it’s safe. My dad grew up here, so I figured it was alright, but I asked just in case.
He hesitated.
“Um… It’s… sort of… not really… well… there are a lot of drugs here, and there are আরো crazy people than I’ve ever seen anywhere else. There’s mostly gang and murder issues, and I wouldn’t go walking in the রাস্তা alone at night if I were you. Maybe in the daytime- ummm… well, maybe not. You’d just have to be on guard. But yeah, I’d never go out alone at night.”
I’m sitting in my aunt’s apartment right now, too scared to go outside in fear that I’ll be shot, অথবা raped, অথবা god knows what else. My dad saw the look on my face, and said, “No, no. It’s okay. This neighborhood is নিরাপদ compared to, say, Detroit.”
Yeah, so is the seventh বৃত্ত of hell. Yaxley is nice compared to, say, Voldemort, but আপনি wouldn’t catch me trying to strike up a conversation with him, would you?
And if that wasn’t enough, my family voted to go for a walk in the public park (in the most dangerous part of town) and play on the playground for a while. I looked around and didn’t see anyone that looked like potential rapist within 30 feet of me, so I decided to try and climb the আগুন pole on the play set.
I not only failed in climbing the pole, but I jammed my knee and now I can’t put any weight on it অথবা it feels like someone’s sawing my leg off. Did I mention that this entire vacation will consist of my family and me hiking, walking, and climbing things? Yeah. My little brother wants to go to Mount Tam to see if he can meet Atlas (not likely), so we’re going to have to hike up part of the mountain to get to the top. OW.
So, here I am, লেখা this little summary with an injured knee on about five অথবা six hours of sleep. So if this প্রবন্ধ was crappy, don’t blame me; blame Ashley. I looked over my trip so far, and I thought, “I’ve got to make a ফ্যানপপ প্রবন্ধ about this. অথবা at least post it on FML অথবা something like that.”
Dear God,
I think I know how to dance now. Please, no আরো lessons. Thank you.
-Rosie.
First, my parents misjudged the traffic. They weren’t expecting it to be as bad as it was during the trip there. আপনি see, the airport that we went to was very nice, but the neighborhood around it was VERY dangerous. It also happened to be the place with the slowest traffic. I’m very scared of bad neighborhoods, so I kind of freaked out. My parents thought that that would be the quickest part of the ride, and that everything else would be slow, but it turned out to be the other way around.
My dad also had a brilliant idea: there wouldn’t be any water the entire one-hour car ride, so we should all drink as much water as we possibly could before left. Well, we weren’t thirsty, but দ্বারা the time we hit traffic, I REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. Luckily, the airport parking lot was just a half-mile away from the airport, and the shuttle would take up there in about 10 minutes. (It had to take longer because of the traffic.)
That is, if we didn’t miss the shuttle.
Oh yes, we WATCHED our shuttle drive away as we pulled up into the parking lot. So there we were, stranded for about fifteen to twenty মিনিট in an incredibly dangerous neighborhood while I needed to go to the bathroom.
Finally, the shuttle pulled up, and we went to the airport. But, of course, as soon as we got to the airport my dad realized that he forgot his hat and jacket. (For those of আপনি who haven’t been to San Francisco before, it’s really cold, even in summer.) He had to call my aunt (who was in the middle of remodeling her apartment so we could stay there) and ask her if he could borrow one of hers. I doubt that she was happy about that.
The first plane ride would probably have been the best part of our vacation so far – if it wasn’t for the storm. There was this huge storm that was coming through, so in order to avoid it, they took a slightly longer route north. The problem was, north happened to be the worst part of the storm. I found out that my brother and I get VERY sick when we’re on an airplane with major turbulence. Plus, my dad got us tickets for the seats on the wing of the plane, the place with major turbulence. আপনি also can’t hear anything because of the motor, and আপনি can’t see very well out the window.
The সেকেন্ড plane was supposed to leave about 45 মিনিট after our plane touched down, and since our plane was about 10 মিনিট late, my dad ব্যক্ত that we had to hurry অথবা we’d miss our flight and have to spend the night in the airport.
That airport was VERY big, but luckily the section where our plane was going to leave was right পরবর্তি to where we got off. Well, I mean, it WOULD’VE been, if they didn’t change terminals at the last minute. Oh, and of course it was now halfway across the airport – about three blocks away. And guess who had two forty pound bags? That’s right, me. My dad ran ahead while I tried to follow. My mom and brother were lagging behind a little bit, but I didn’t wait, I just kept on running. দ্বারা the time we got to the right terminal my হৃদয় was hurting from all the running I just did with my suitcases. I ran up to the airport worker and asked her if we made it, and what did she reply?
“Yes, don’t worry. The plane will be boarding in about twenty minutes.”
I collapsed on the floor.
My parents got coffee and snacks, while I sat in a chair and মোপেড around, cursing the airline. The woman announced something, but I couldn’t quite make it out. I didn’t really care, anyway. If it didn’t involve us taking off, I didn’t want to hear it. My dad did hear though, and he got this weird expression on his face, like he was angry. He walked up to me and said, “Did আপনি hear that announcement?”
“No.”
“Oh. She ব্যক্ত that they were missing their flight attendants, and if they প্রদর্শনী up and they decide to take off, then we’re going to need to be present for it.”
Yep. IF their workers showed up, they MIGHT take off. MAYBE. It was 10:00 pm there (midnight my time), so I was dead tired. Luckily, two of their flight attendants showed up within the পরবর্তি 20 minutes. They announced that the third flight attendant’s plane was a little late, but that she’d প্রদর্শনী up in about 20 minutes. We all cheered, and then waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Finally, half an ঘন্টা later, they announced that her plane had arrived and she’d be coming in five minutes.
20 মিনিট later, they announced that they were going to find the flight attendant and would be boarding shortly.
11:00 pm their time and 1:00 am my time, they called someone named Ashley to come to the terminal immediately. My mom said, “Ah, so her name’s Ashley. Now we’ll know who to kill.” This started up a whole bunch of Ashley jokes among the stranded passengers. Finally a preppy looking blonde girl showed up looking the exact opposite of me: refreshed, happy, and not murderous at all. I was happy when they announced that we got free TV because the flight was late, though. Apparently ‘Ashley’ was hanging out in the airport because she forgot she had a flight.
We got on the plane and an annoying voice came over the intercom, “Hi, I’m Ashley, and I’ll be your flight attendant today.” We all exchanged looks. She went on about the safety rules and stuff, and finally concluded with, “And টেলিভিশন can be purchased for – oh, no, apparently it’s free for this flight.” Huh. I guess she missed the memo.
Right when we were about to take off, a scary grinding noise sounded from the bottom of the plane. I ব্যক্ত to my mom, “Oh god, Ashley’s flying the plane.”
We touched down (finally) and went to get our bags. We watched the bags coming for about 15 minutes, until we realized that we were looking at the wrong flights’ bags.
Dead tired, we dragged ourselves over to the correct baggage claim, just to find that they hadn’t started it yet.
I could have killed someone.
My mom leaned over to me and whispered, “Five bucks Ashley’s in charge of the luggage.”
I said, “Yeah, odds are she forgot to unload it and is now taking a nap, because what kind of crazy idiot would want to be awake at 2:30 in the morning? No me, that’s for sure. Us passengers are probably taking time away from her beauty sleep. How rude of us.”
The two moms পরবর্তি to us started applauding.
The airline announced over the speakers that, “We’re just starting to unload the bags from the plane. They’ll be there in about five minutes. Thank আপনি for your patience.”
Of course we all knew that this was going to happen, but we were still furious when, 10 মিনিট later, the bags still hadn’t arrived.
Long story short, we got our bags 10 মিনিট later, hailed a cab, and finally dragged ourselves up to my aunt’s apartment. My nine বছর old brother was practically sleepwalking, and my parents and I were also dead tired. The time was 3:00 am. My dad took out the key, fit it into the lock, and…
আপনি see, I ব্যক্ত before that my aunt had remodeled her condo to make it nicer for us to stay here. Apparently, she had also hired a locksmith to fix the lock that had broken and had a new key made. Which would have been great.
If the key worked.
Yep. My dad had to call my aunt at 3:00 in the morning and ask her to drive twenty মিনিট to give us her key. We couldn’t get into her condo and sleep until she arrived.
When my dad told me this, I looked at him and said, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” I turned to my mom, “I bet Ashley was the locksmith.”
My brother laid down on the floor and closed his eyes.
FINALLY, my aunt showed up, and gave us her key. We went into the apartment only to realize that the বিছানা that my brother and I were supposed to sleep on wasn’t blown up yet. My dad said, “We could probably blow it up, but it would take a while –”
“NO!” I yelled. “THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO BED!” And at four o’clock in the morning California time, six o’clock in the morning my time, I laid down on her পালঙ্ক (which was too short for me, but honestly I didn’t give a crap, and went to sleep.”
Now, আপনি might just blame this on poor airline service and bad tickets, and all that, but today was a different matter. We have no air conditioning in the condo, but SF is pretty cold most of the time, so it’s okay.
I mean, it’s okay if they’re not having record hot temperatures. *Facepalm*
Also, like I said, I’m very scared of dangerous neighborhoods. Every time I go to a new place, I ask my dad if it’s safe. My dad grew up here, so I figured it was alright, but I asked just in case.
He hesitated.
“Um… It’s… sort of… not really… well… there are a lot of drugs here, and there are আরো crazy people than I’ve ever seen anywhere else. There’s mostly gang and murder issues, and I wouldn’t go walking in the রাস্তা alone at night if I were you. Maybe in the daytime- ummm… well, maybe not. You’d just have to be on guard. But yeah, I’d never go out alone at night.”
I’m sitting in my aunt’s apartment right now, too scared to go outside in fear that I’ll be shot, অথবা raped, অথবা god knows what else. My dad saw the look on my face, and said, “No, no. It’s okay. This neighborhood is নিরাপদ compared to, say, Detroit.”
Yeah, so is the seventh বৃত্ত of hell. Yaxley is nice compared to, say, Voldemort, but আপনি wouldn’t catch me trying to strike up a conversation with him, would you?
And if that wasn’t enough, my family voted to go for a walk in the public park (in the most dangerous part of town) and play on the playground for a while. I looked around and didn’t see anyone that looked like potential rapist within 30 feet of me, so I decided to try and climb the আগুন pole on the play set.
I not only failed in climbing the pole, but I jammed my knee and now I can’t put any weight on it অথবা it feels like someone’s sawing my leg off. Did I mention that this entire vacation will consist of my family and me hiking, walking, and climbing things? Yeah. My little brother wants to go to Mount Tam to see if he can meet Atlas (not likely), so we’re going to have to hike up part of the mountain to get to the top. OW.
So, here I am, লেখা this little summary with an injured knee on about five অথবা six hours of sleep. So if this প্রবন্ধ was crappy, don’t blame me; blame Ashley. I looked over my trip so far, and I thought, “I’ve got to make a ফ্যানপপ প্রবন্ধ about this. অথবা at least post it on FML অথবা something like that.”
Dear God,
I think I know how to dance now. Please, no আরো lessons. Thank you.
-Rosie.
The whole conversationd wouldn't fit on one screenshot so here it is;
Stranger: asl
Stranger: ?
You: Oh! There আপনি are! I've been looking for আপনি forever!
Stranger: oh really?
You: I'll never say goodbye to you!
You: I'm crazy about you!
You: I প্রণয় you!
Stranger: is that good অথবা bad?
Stranger: well are আপনি a guy অথবা a girl?
You: Kurt, don't আপনি প্রণয় me?
Stranger: nope guess not
You: But Kurt it's me Blaine!
Stranger: that sucks dont it
You: :'(
Stranger: stop your bitchin
You: Kurt. It's me, Blaine! Your boyfriend.
Stranger: ha fuckin faggot
Stranger: i hate fags
Stranger: they are as bad as niggers and soicks
Stranger: spicks
You: I'M IN A RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE. THIS IS THE MADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN!
Stranger: asl
Stranger: ?
You: Oh! There আপনি are! I've been looking for আপনি forever!
Stranger: oh really?
You: I'll never say goodbye to you!
You: I'm crazy about you!
You: I প্রণয় you!
Stranger: is that good অথবা bad?
Stranger: well are আপনি a guy অথবা a girl?
You: Kurt, don't আপনি প্রণয় me?
Stranger: nope guess not
You: But Kurt it's me Blaine!
Stranger: that sucks dont it
You: :'(
Stranger: stop your bitchin
You: Kurt. It's me, Blaine! Your boyfriend.
Stranger: ha fuckin faggot
Stranger: i hate fags
Stranger: they are as bad as niggers and soicks
Stranger: spicks
You: I'M IN A RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE. THIS IS THE MADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN!