Story: "Don’t leave me behind"
Author: edwestwick (Ana)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gossip girl অথবা used songs.
Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has প্রজাপতি for and what if it’s too late?
I know the letter might not seem completely like something Chuck would write but he thinks he will probably never see her again so…
“And I keep my jealousy close,
'Cause it's all mine.
And if আপনি say this makes আপনি happy,
Then I'm not the only one lying.”
"Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" Fall Out Boy
As the door closed after me and Nate I started to think what I’m doing. Few hours পূর্বে I was sure I’ll just go with Nate, have fun like old times – not that we had much of it while we were together – and than spend the night in Chuck’s suite. Just like I told him:
“I don’t like it that you’re going with Nathaniel.” He ব্যক্ত as we were laying together after our make up.
“I told আপনি it’s just as friends.” really couldn’t he see that?
“But he told me he wants আপনি back.”
“Why do আপনি care so much? Are আপনি jealous অথবা something?” we’re only sleeping together and he acts like I’m his few years girlfriend!
“Of course not. So I’ll see আপনি after Cotillion?” he sounded strange. Like he didn’t like me dismissing idea of him being jealous. I mean he couldn’t be. I get it that he was at my birthday when he thought he has প্রজাপতি but it disappeared দ্বারা now for sure.
“Sure.” After that we came back to our usual activities.
And everything was going good until Nate punched Carter. Than I came back and he was there. Did he really think I won’t figure it out?
“Nate was asked to leave, but here I am.”
“I know that look. It's the look when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this. আপনি knew Carter was going to my house, আপনি tipped off Gossip Girl... আপনি ruined my Cotillion on purpose. আপনি did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me which is exactly why আপনি and I could never work”
I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think he cared about me. I guess I just got what I should knew will happen. It was just a game for him, I bet he’s fucking some whore right now. Just like you’re about to fuck Nate. No. Nate and I will make love. I প্রণয় Nate. I have to. It’s not like Chuck loves me. He’s Chuck Bass! He doesn’t প্রণয় anyone but himself. He doesn’t have butterflies, sleep with the same girl twice অথবা buy jewelry either. No it’s impossible! I can’t be in প্রণয় with him! It was just fooling around. Than maybe it wasn’t for him I thought when I remembered one night.
After hours of our usual activities we were laying in Chuck’s bed. His hands were running over my body, touching every place he could find. He has his face in my hair and was স্নেহ চুম্বন my neck. I never took Chuck for cuddling after sex type. Then how could anyone if he dismissed girl five মিনিট after? But I loved this new side of him and that I was the only one who got to seeing it. I heard him whisper something that sounded like”Don’t leave me” but I couldn’t be sure as I couldn’t see his face. I asked him about it but he just kissed me again so I brushed it off.
Guess he really cared about what we had. Not that it matters anymore, because after this I’m sure he hates me. Well he should. I didn’t even let him explain and ran to Nate without thinking twice. At this thought I pushed Nate away from me.
“Nothing I just don’t think we should do this.”
“What?” he asked confused. At least he had a reason for once.
“I just…” fortunately I didn’t have to explain this to him since the doors opened and Serena burst in with hurry.
“S? What are আপনি doing here? Shouldn’t আপনি be with Cabbage Patch?” I asked.
“Blair I have to talk with you.”
“Sure.” We stepped outside leaving Nate alone.
“What’s going on S?”
“B আপনি have to read this. I think Chuck’s leaving for good.” She handed me a letter.
“What are talking about S?” She couldn’t be serious. Leaving? I knew he would most likely get drunk and high with some sluts but couldn’t he do it here?
“Just read it I don’t know exactly what he meant but it didn’t sound good.”
“Where is he?”
“He left ten মিনিট ago. I was with Dan when he gave me this so I ran to give আপনি this but I couldn’t find আপনি anywhere.”
I ripped it open quickly and started reading.
I don’t know why I’m লেখা this. আপনি probably won’t even read it. Why would you? আপনি have your dream life again and we both know I’m not in it. So why would আপনি care about me? It’s not like আপনি ever really did and I can’t blame আপনি for it. My own father hates me and don’t give a damn about me so why would someone perfect like আপনি do? I’m just one big fuck up. But since I don’t think I’ll see আপনি ever again (sorry don’t think I’ll make it to your wedding) I wanted to let আপনি know that however অবিশ্বাস্য it seems ever for me I think that I প্রণয় you. I think I do because I don’t really know what it means. No one ever ব্যক্ত it to me so how could I? But I প্রণয় how আপনি feel, I প্রণয় your kisses, I প্রণয় how আপনি always challenge me and I loved our time together this past few weeks. And I would do everything to make আপনি happy if you’d let me but I guess it’s Nathaniel’s job like it always was. I’m sure everything will play out just like আপনি always wanted and don’t worry I won’t tell Nate anything. At least one of as will be happy. I bet you’d laugh at me if you’d ever read it. You’ll be right I’m অভিনয় like some pathetic ex. Not that I am one. Ok I’ll better end before I’ll make আরো of a fool from myself.
With each word I had আরো tears in my eyes. How could I be so stupid to not see what was right in front of me all this time? Guess it’s right that আপনি don’t see what আপনি had until আপনি lose it. Now I won’t even see him again. I can’t just let it happen.
“Blair is everything ok?” I heard Serena ask. Stupid Serena! Of course it isn’t!
“I have to go S. Tell Nate something.” I answered and started running towards exit.