Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by OCFan123
Hi there! This is my first প্রবন্ধ on the C.A.T spot, about my least পছন্দ character in twilight. Actually, my least পছন্দ character in history.

Bella Swan.

I seriously can't see why so many twilight অনুরাগী like her. She is ব্যক্ত to be selfless, caring, understanding, and a good role model...when really she's the most selfish character in the whole book series.
Now then, here are several reasons why I dislike Bella.

1) Lack outside of Edward

Has Bella -even once- mentioned in any of the novels what she wanst to do with her life? (Besides wanting to be a vampire to be with Edward forever) Not once. She doesnt want to go to colledge, she has no hobbies (unless আপনি count whining a hobby), and has no goals whatsoever. It seems that her whole life is Edward and wanting to be a vampire. What does tha say to readers? That we should give up everything to be with a man?

2) Friends

Now, the মিনিট Bella steps into Forks she's the most জনপ্রিয় girl there. All guys want her, and all the girls are her friend. There all very nice to her, but admit it, she a crappy friend. She hardly even talks to any of them unless to use them, and doesnt seems intrested in them at all. When Edward leaves her in new moon, she ignores all of them for months when she goes into her Zombie State. Wow, what a great friend.
Also, she treats her best friend, Jacob, sometimes like dirt. He was helping her in new moon, and the মিনিট Edward comes back, she throws Jacob to the side like a used napkin, when he helped her.

3) Lets Edward Push Her Around

Now, why many see Edward as the perfect boyfriend, I, for one, think he's just abusive. Yes, he does have his moments, but...come on, he took the engine out of her car to prevent her from seeing Jacob. If I were Bella, I তীক্ষ্নভাবে him. But Bella just uses the excuse, "its because he loves me" and "he just overprotective"
Right.
What happened to Girl Power?

4) Whining
Oh. My. God.
She whines like a little girl ALL THE TIME!
Especially in New Moon!
Everytime she went on about this "whole in her chest", অথবা complained, I wanted to throw the book at the wall. How many times I wanted to yell "Get yourself together girl", I don't really know.
Also, in new moon, her persanality is just flat and obsessive.

5) Reapeats About Edwards "Hotness"
Okay, Bella made a reference to Edwards beauty 165 times...

In the first book!

দ্বারা the middle of twilight, I was rolling my eyes, thinking 'Okay, we get it. আপনি think he's hot. Moving on."
Honestly, I don't think the বই would be so big if she kept making commenst about his "beauty." Honestly, is she in প্রণয় with him অথবা his looks? Guess we will never know.

Okay, thats it folks! There are probaly other reason why I dislike Bella...actually there's a thousand, but I wont go into them right now. This however, is just the main 5 reasons I don't like Bella.
To end this, I would like to say I am very sorry if I offended anyone. I just wanted to share my opinion. If আপনি are a Bella fan, then thats is absoutly fine, I don't have a problem with that. Once again, I'm just sharing my opinion.
posted by HecateA
On this beautiful spot of fanpop, there's a video link to "Charlie reads Twilight". Originally its "Alex read Twilight". Anyways, I checked it out.
It's this guy, he's about 20 years old I'd say, and he bought himself a copy of Twilight. He reads this on camera, making his comments, one chapter per video. And he's absolutely HILARIOUS! He points out things like odd phrases ("the sun was at the wrong place in the sky") and grammar faults. He sees little things আপনি might not have found yourself.
The চলচ্ছবি do contain a bit of swearing but other then that, they are mostly all right.
There are tons of anti stories out there, and mine is probably no different than yours. (If you, are, of course, an Anti.) However, it all started out the very দিন I picked up the book Twilight...

I heard many মতামত about Twilight, how wonderful the series was, and how wonderful Edward and Bella's প্রণয় was. As usual, I resisted. But my friends, who were all Twilight fans, kept insisting that I read the most amazing book in the history of books. So I'm like, "Hey! I missed out on Harry Potter-(I only read Harry Potter when I was nine, when I could have read it when I was seven, all because...
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The following is a letter from Edward to our CAT members who dislike him. অথবা a joke quickly written দ্বারা me because it's been ages since I পোষ্ট হয়েছে here. Either way, it's not meant to offend pros অথবা antis.

Dear antis,
So, I hear আপনি hate me. Ouch. Being the emo....uh, I mean the sensitive flower...no, wait, the in-touch-with-his-emotions-in-a-not-girly-way, hey-shut-up! guy I am, my initial reaction was to kill myself. That's right, in one of my trademark, straight অগ্রবর্তী suicide plans I was going to cover myself in honey, mail a note to the volturi threatening to poke them in the eye if they didn't...
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Well, I'm a Twilight fan, but I like to be critical of the series anyways. But recently, I discovered that a lot of the Twi-hater fanbase (or hatebase?) has been consisted of mostly people who have only seen the movies, and I instantly saw how there were so many Twi-haters.

Let me just start off দ্বারা saying that the movie sucks a**, and I'm being NICE! The অভিনয় is terrible, they cut out about half the book and completely interpreted the book in all the wrong ways, the script sounded like it had been written দ্বারা a five বছর old, and the actors portrayed the characters so poorly, I almost became...
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If আপনি have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into প্রবন্ধ ফোরাম thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.

~~~~

One দিন Bella fell over while being chased দ্বারা Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and ব্যক্ত - "Edward, what are আপনি doing? আপনি know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"

"Yes, but don't tell Bella...
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posted by kayleebabee
Is it just me অথবা is SM into brainwashing? She has systamatically taken over the world with her books. পরবর্তি she will be Americas first ever hem hem SPARKLY PRESIDENT (no offence Barrack আপনি rock) and twi hardiness has been taken to a whole knew level people religions such as CULLENISM yes আপনি guys heard me cul-llen-ism.
Here is the cullenism 10 'commandments'

1.thou shalt wear স্বর্ণ contact lenses-even to sleep!
2. thou shalt only drink cherryade অথবা ক্র্যানবেরি রস (bassically its gotta be red)
3. thou shalt not take the lords name in vain (robert pattinson) cept when আপনি are screaming it at his...
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I পোষ্ট হয়েছে this a couple other spots, but I would really like to know anti-twilight/neutral অনুরাগী opinions. I sort of ranted on the subject, but I think my intent is pretty clear. I'd প্রণয় to read মতামত if আপনি have any, অথবা আপনি can just skip this প্রবন্ধ :)

This is sort of an informal rant/observation.

We all know that New Moon is about tragedy and the loss of প্রণয় and the aftermath. Edward left Bella. But why did he leave her?

Since New Moon is being adapted into a feature length film, I've been seeing alot of প্রশ্ন and accusations reguarding Edward's absense.

Examples:
- Jacob's better...
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Hey ya kittens! I was wondering in how many words could I write Twilight giving the same character development as Meyer and saying obviously the main plot so don’t bash…I had a lot of fun doing it XDD It’s not to offend anyone but think about it trees could have been saved if Meyer had stuck with this version.

So on with reading


Hi! My name is Bella Swan, I’m moving to Forks because I want to leave my mom with his new boyfriend live happily ever after although I hate where my father leaves. Forks it’s a rainy state and so I’m in an airplane to go to it.

When I arrive there’s my...
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posted by Dearheart
Hello, বেড়ালছানা and newcomers to the CAT! Don’t worry, none of আপনি are in trouble অথবা anything; I just feel that things have gotten a teensy bit out of hand, so I’m লেখা this as a reminder to all of আপনি before it gets worse.

Newcomers, if আপনি haven’t already, link It’s very important that people follow them so that we can keep this spot from turning ugly.

For those of আপনি who’ve already read them, let’s review Rule 5:

Make sure the material আপনি জমা করুন stays true to the spirit of this spot. Whether it’s a soapbox, image, video, etc...please make sure it doesn’t have excessive language,...
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1) Bring a good sense of humor. Don’t ever take things personally, and try not to be too sensitive. Otherwise you’ll be miserable. Just let loose, have fun, and be willing to laugh.

2) If someone offends you, don’t blow up. Respond in a polite, mature way, point out what offended আপনি and why আপনি find it offensive. If it’s something serious অথবা happens to be one of the things forbidden in Rule 5, chances are people will back আপনি up and the problem will work out. If it isn’t, reread Rule 1.

3) Twi-hards, this isn’t a place to drool over Edward অথবা gush about how amazing the Twilight...
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I don't like Twilight. I find the characters shallow; the plot boring and cliche; and the hidden messages frightening. But in the hands of another লেখক - someone who wouldn't let their religious upbringing, their misogynistic views, and their twisted romantic ideals colour the story - it could have been really fantastic.

First off, the grammar would have to be fixed. The purple prose minimised and the সামগ্রিক লেখা polished up.

Next the characters would have to be made realistic, their actions have an effect on the plot, and their history an effect on them.

Take Rosalie, for example. If Rosalie's...
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posted by renrae
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. She's the blond girl in twilight. The one tricked দ্বারা a modeling scam, the one that hates Bella. We first meet Lauren in the cafeteria, I believe. Almost all Twilight অনুরাগী do not like her. I mean no disrespect to the ones on this spot অথবা any others, but I do not think she has a reason to be hated. Reasons people give for hating Lauren are similar to the reasons for hating Jessica. "She's rude", "She's mean to bella and stupid", even "she's blond." That last one made no sense to me. The reason Lauren "hates" Bella is because her crush, Tyler, is infatuated with...
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posted by RonGetYourWand
There are some core things about the mythical creatures I wish Meyer would have প্রদত্ত an actual explaination for:

Vampires

1. Turning into bats

She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.

2. Sleeping in a coffin

How about that having something to do with them faking their own death অথবা something?

3. Lack of Fangs

An evolution over time to adapt.

4. Sunlight

Related to the fact ভ্যাম্পায়ার are considered to be connected to the devil.

Werewolves

1. Full-Moon

They meet at the full-moon.

2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the নেকড়ে have this)

It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.

3. Pack- Mind

Evolved trait অথবা even a gift from the spirits.
posted by AliceHaleCullen
I'm so glad to have found a spot that isn't full of people gushing over how hot Robert Pattinson is. Since the movie came out, the original idea of the series has deteriorated.

I used to feel proud to call myself a 'Twilight' fan. I first read it in 2005, and to be quite honest I loved how nobody had read it, it seemed really special. So called 'Fans' who now go around using the word 'Twilighter' just because they have seen the film have ruined it for everyone else.

Fair enough, it's nobodies fault it has been made into an overated hyped movie, but if they really understood what it meant before...
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added by nuxi
Source: Reasoning With ভ্যাম্পায়ার Tumblr
Despite whatever impressions আপনি may have garnered from the শিরোনাম of this article, this is not about glorifying Twilight over His Dark Materials. It's about scolding the movie industry for giving New moon the green light while simultaneously giving The Subtle Knife the red light.

I know that Hollywood is a business, just as book selling is a buisness, above all else. The only time films are made for the sake of making films anymore is if they're independent. I admit that the occasional brilliantly artistic film makes it into the mainstream, and when it does, it's often recognized and lauded....
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I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when পাঠ করা Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think আপনি can call yourself a vegetarian if আপনি don't eat things like people অথবা those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people পাঠ করা the বই also thought (well, maybe not specifically...
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*I'll have mentions to actual নেকড়ে-মানুষ stories in here, so be ready for that

Even before Jacob and palls were called 'shapeshifters' (I'll get back to আপনি on that, I am not letting go), we should have known they couldn't be. And here's why.

First off: the origin অথবা werewolves.

In the বছর 60, 70 people started believing in werewolf lore. The oldest myth I know about this is Ancient Greek, Lycaon.

Lycaon invited the king-god Zeus to dinner, but he was unsure if it really was him, so he decided to serve Zeus human meat. Turns out, it was Zeus. And Zeus was ticked. So he killed Lycaon' 50 sons...
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posted by Aquilia
O Tempora o Mores
Oh the times, oh the customs


This প্রবন্ধ is an appeal to all Twilight অনুরাগী out there, I invite আপনি all to think over your good and bad actions here on ফ্যানপপ and contemplate them.

I have seen and compared examples of the appearances of the fandoms Harry Potter and respectively Twilight when criticism appear in each other’s sites on ফ্যানপপ and I am astounded দ্বারা the comparatively aggressive tone the Twilight অনুরাগী carried when they respond to the ব্যক্ত criticism.

Compare the responses of: link

And: link ;

Notes are to be made that both internet addresses were found দ্বারা searching...
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Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The পরবর্তি day.

Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The দিন after that:

Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen অথবা my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!

[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You গাউন this!'].