Death Eaters VS Order of the Phoenix Club
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Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s আরো to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do আপনি mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call আপনি Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would আপনি describe your relationship with the man known as...
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I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, আপনি know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I


1. আপনি throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. আপনি wear at least some black every day.

3. আপনি rip your clothes on purpose.

4. আপনি call people আপনি don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. আপনি yell "CRUCIO!" at people when আপনি get mad.

6. আপনি carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" অথবা an "L", আপনি accidentally type out a Bellatrix অথবা a Lestrange instead.

9. আপনি think her birthday should...
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Credit: mugglenet.com

Greetings, new follower:

If আপনি are পাঠ করা this letter then আপনি have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If দ্বারা some unprecedented chance আপনি are পাঠ করা this and আপনি have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest আপনি put down this letter and leave now, অথবা the consequences for আপনি will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which আপনি must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate...
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Credit: f***yeahslytherin.tumblr.com
I found these fascinating, thought আপনি guys might too, :)
And yeah, it's not ALL Death Eaters, but they're all Slytherins, :P


Bellatrix - “Bella” is a construct of the word “bellum” meaning “war” and “trix” refers to “a woman in power.” Bellatrix is therefore known as the “Female Warrior” and is also the pale yellow তারকা indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter.

Blaise - Blaise was the teacher of Merlin. From the Roman name Blasius, which means “lisping.” From the Latin “blaesus.” A famous bearer...
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Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.



1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, আপনি got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than আপনি look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for আপনি now!!" *Prepare yourself দ্বারা getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did আপনি say something?"

5. "Why do you...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: mugglenet.com

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate পরবর্তি to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him আপনি গাউন his teddy bear.

8. Tell him আপনি won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him আপনি were just kidding and ব্যক্ত teddy ভালুক has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak...
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posted by KateKicksAss
*To the tune of "Dangerous and Moving, দ্বারা t.A.T.u.. If আপনি don't know that song, here's a link: link*

Anyways, Dangerous and Moving, Death Eater style!

We'll take over the world today,
And never give it back,
And this is what the Order members say,
Our lives are evil and black
And this is how we move
And this is how we sway
Danger is the truth
We fell and rose again!

We broke out of Azkaban,
We're perilous and looming
We're dangerous and moving,
We're dangerous and moving!

We’ll burn everything down,
We’re perilous and looming
We’re dangerous and moving,
We’re dangerous and moving

We’ll have no mercy...
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I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, আপনি know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I


1. আপনি throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. আপনি wear at least some black every day.

3. আপনি rip your clothes on purpose.

4. আপনি call people আপনি don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. আপনি yell "CRUCIO!" at people when আপনি get mad.

6. আপনি carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" অথবা an "L", আপনি accidentally type out a Bellatrix অথবা a Lestrange instead.

9. আপনি think her birthday should...
continue reading...
posted by KateKicksAss
A handy-dandy Wikihow প্রবন্ধ on how to make a horcrux, for all আপনি aspiring Dark witches and wizards out there!
Credit: wikihow.com


1. Become an extremely powerful witch অথবা wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide আপনি should not attempt to create a horcrux until আপনি can cast non-verbal killing curses.

2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.

3. Bathe in the Water of Sorrows and eat 1 cup of paste made from...
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I throw my wand up in the air sometimes
saying,"Ah-oh, my name is Draco!"

I wanna celebrate and kill Dumbledore
saying "Ah-oh,old man, just let go."

We gonna rock the school
We gonna go all night
We gonna light professors up
like they're dynamite!

Cause I dueled আপনি once,
Now I dueled আপনি twice

We gonna light them up
like they're dynamite.


CREDITS:
greekgirlA,and     
boredcreativity have made this

become a অনুরাগী of us and we will make আরো spoof songs to your favorites! just tell us the song,
and only if আপনি become a fan!
Its not Mine found it here: link



1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up দ্বারা গান গাওয়া সৈকত Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say আপনি taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the...
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