I হারিয়ে গেছে a bet...

নমস্কার আপনি guys... I am uhm. Not going to be online for awhile : but while i have the time to... I really need to let some shit out. And also apologise for never ever 'being here'... I guess আপনি were right, i never really am here when আপনি really need me and I am a terrible friend. Trust me. I hate myself for that too.

This morning before my parents left for a baseball game. I had to look in the mirror. I ussually dont because i really have gotten to where i cant stand mirrors. They make me kind of sick. But as I was looking i really thought a bit too long and a bit too hard. Yeah i have brown...

“If a clock could count down to the moment আপনি meet your soul mate, would আপনি want to know?”
The rain beaded off the শীর্ষ of the building as it picked up from a soft drizzle to a hard downpour.
“I প্রণয় the rain.” ব্যক্ত a sweet calm voice from a old women in a hospital bed, she was hooked up to the machines পরবর্তি to her. She looked like worn down paper that had been used to many times, her hair was white and thin and there was little of it, and the light in her grey green eyes almost gone. The was many people sitting around in the the small white room, they all looked sad and tired like...

Sometimes i wonder if people even care about me? অথবা if they should care? Because honestly i think im going mad. I think everythings getting to my head and the voices, they never stop anymore...and they're louder to..really bad things..

I also wonder why people care about me? I mean i really am a হারিয়ে গেছে hope...i cant save anyone anymore because i can barely নিরাপদ myself..Everythings getting bad..real bad..

I also wonder if my family notices i havent been eating? Because i havent been eating and ive been skiping meals and counting calories. I wonder if they see that i really hate myself and eveything...

নমস্কার Guys, It's me , Ellen.
And here, this is where I feel like I am family.
I feel like I don't ever belong. But when I'm with আপনি guys, It's like I'm... Welcome.
I think I am hideous but my বন্ধু say otherwise.
I may be the one that tries to cheer everyone up at school but I have my own problems too.
I am going through a really tough time right know and it is a struggle to be OKAY. I am sorry about complaining about my problems like this but it just makes me feel better to tell আপনি guys. I need to tell আপনি guys something very important. I may not be the most depressed person but i sure as...

how it feels

Eating disorders are diseases of silence. We are all silently screaming for something: attention, love, help, escape অথবা forgiveness. Although we might be looking to fill different voids, we never ask for the things we need. We feel unworthy, that for some reason we don’t deserve them. So, we play the game of guess what I need from you. You’re inability to guess just feeds our feelings of worthlessness.

When আপনি finally realize there is a problem, it is much too late. We will now fight, lie, and cheat to hold on to the one thing that has প্রদত্ত us support. আপনি see the symptoms,...