I'm done with my life.
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(Also, there is some profanity in this series, so if আপনি can't take cussing, অথবা disgusting sex in these god-awful অনুরাগী fictions, please leave now.)
আপনি have got to be kidding me. I'm not even joking, আপনি have GOT to be FREAKING KIDDING ME. How do people come up with this, how do people even THINK that লেখা A F**KING SQUIDWARD X SPONGEBOB অনুরাগী FICTION WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!?!?
And why is porn done wrong so many times? I mean, ALL আপনি have to do is at least TRY to make it funny, make no grammar errors, and VOILA! But no, people keep s**ting out crap like this.
Today, I take on what I think is the grossest অনুরাগী fiction I've ever seen.
...
NO PLEASE GOD! LET ME LIVE, PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE, I AM BEGGING YOU, I'M ON MY KNEES, DON'T DO THIS TO MY FRAGILE SOUL!
*Sigh* Fine, for the sake of doing my job, warning people about bad অনুরাগী fictions, I'll review this.
Now, I have to admit something. I had to take a break when পাঠ করা this story, I almost retched, I am serious. Hell, I feel so sick right now....
Another thing, I never actually vomited when পাঠ করা Faker, heck, I felt fine the whole way through, but do আপনি want to know what I actually had to do?
I had to see the urgent care, I told them about this story and my stomach really hurt.
I'll say that again, A অনুরাগী FICTION PHYSICALLY HURT ME, I AM NOT JOKING AT ALL.
And আপনি know what? This was going to be a special planned collaboration with one of my school friends, but I had to stay home.
And guess what it's rated? M for Mature.
OOOOHHHHH SSSHHHIIITTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh boy, I'm doing it again. I'm sorry guys, I'm stalling, but enough bulls**t, I am ripping apart the most disgusting অনুরাগী fiction I've ever seen....
It's time to look at, Hot Nights at the Krusty Krab, দ্বারা Cheeze18.
"Spongebob and Squidward were bored."
Only porn অনুরাগী fictions can pull off making this sound as intimidating as possible X__O
"They were forced to work there, again, for 24 hours."
Well hey! This guy sort of knows his grammar, and he made a reference to the show!
Unfortunately, those are the only positive things I can say about this shitty short story....
"Spongebob was mopping the green wooden floors, while Squidward was পাঠ করা a purple book, with a secret magazine hidden behind the book."
THE PURPLE BOOK IS A LIE!
Seriously though, we know the magazine is just porn, and he ব্যক্ত it was behind the purple book, so....
Squidward is পাঠ করা the boring book? NOT EVEN THE PORN ITSELF MAKES SENSE!
"Squidward was horny, with his squid penis hard."
What the hell are these people doing with their lives? They could be finding a beautiful boy/girlfriend, they could be hanging out with friends, they could be getting a job, hanging out with their dog, making YouTube videos, eating, etc.
But of ALL THINGS, his mind decides to go Rule 34 on him and s/he makes a porn অনুরাগী fiction.
About fucking Spongebob.
"He was rubbing himself, but he was not staring at the pages."
2 Things.
1: Was not = Wasn't. IT'S সেকেন্ড GRADE DUDE!
2: Again, USE BETTER VOCABULARY! Really? Rubbing himself?
This is the only অনুরাগী fiction I know when it doesn't even get the porn right.
Actually, scratch that, FOR THE প্রণয় OF GOD DON'T USE BETTER VOCABULARY! O_____O
"He was staring at Spongebob."
Oh boy. Oh FUCKING boy....
"For about two months now, he and Spongebob have been in a relationship."
Ruining my childhood right off the bat? Alright, that's already -5,000 points!
This start was even better than Faker! ^___^
"They've kissed, and dry humped, but not sex."
FORESHADOWING. O_______O
"Yet. Squidward wanted to, so bad."
1. Why does the word yet have a period after it?
2. Can আপনি please STOP DESTROYING MY SOUL!? >.<
"He felt like he was pressuring Spongebob to do it, but he had no problem."
Yeah, this is every porn অনুরাগী fiction in a nutshell.
STEP ONE: Somewhat boring dialogue with some childhood crushing material here and there.
STEP TWO: That one, "OH NO X___X" Moment.
STEP THREE: Sex. -___-
"Spongebob turned around, and showed his square butt."
What the f@%k is this person doing with their life? Does s/he really think they're going to turn anyone on with this S&#T!?
Ugh, I am so sick of this.
"Squidward felt a throb. He was about to cum."
And no comma because WHY NOT? :D
"Panting, he lifted himself up, and watched Spongebob."
It's near impossible to stay neutral while পাঠ করা this, BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT, WHO, WHERE, WHEN, WHY DID THEY THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!?!?
Time to bring out my napalm flamethrower. >:(
"He said, নমস্কার Spongebob? Spongebob turned, smiling."
DON'T TRUST THE EVIL SMILE! X___X
"Yes?"
Yep, boring dialogue, quite literally, out the ass.
Yeah, this is why it takes so long to make these episodes, these অনুরাগী fictions ARE SO BORING!
I mean, I know আপনি pretty much HAVE to put in some everyday dialogue BUT CAN আপনি AT LEAST TRY to be entertaining?
Time to charge the napalm flamethrower. >:(
"Um, I want to do something with you. Is that okay?"
FUCK NO!!! NOT EVEN CENSORING IT, FUCK NO!!!!!!!
"Squidward asked, Spongebob's face was all confused."
That's the reason these are so tiring to read. I read this story TWICE before reviewing this and NOT ONCE did I see any attempts at comedy to make this even remotely interesting to read.
It's like if আপনি had to read those Harry Potter books.
IN THE FIRST GRADE.
"Like what? That.. sex thing. we have been talking about."
We have = We've. Once again, সেকেন্ড GRADE!!!!!
"Sex? Oh yeah."
OH YEAAAAH, SEX! HOW COULD I FORGET? :D YEAH, THAT THING! I REMEMBER NOW!
Yeah, like Faker, this story is bastardizing innocent characters from my childhood.
Also, strangely enough, bastardizing is a word. o__O
Not even kidding, Google's Auto-Correct just left it like that.
হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ :D
"So?"
"So What?"
"Did you...want to...try it?"
Can আপনি try... TALKING FASTER? WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO BORING! >.<
On সেকেন্ড thought, for the প্রণয় of god, STALL STALL STALL. O__O
"What, here?"
"Sure."
ARE আপনি SURE YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE SURE? ^____^
*Sigh* What the fuck is wrong with these people?
"I don't know..Spongebob looked down at the floor."
"Squidward walked over to the sponge and draped an arm over his shoulders. He smiled."
UHHH......WITH MENTOS FRESHEN UP YOUR LIFE? ^___^
Damn it, unlike Television, commercials can't stop me here.
CURSE আপনি DINKLEBERG!!!!!
"Why don't we try it? He suggested, slipping a tentacle under south, under Spongebob's pants and grabbing his limp d**k"
ALL NEW SPICY MCGRIDDLE ONLY $3.99! ^___^ ONLY AT MCDONALDS!
Fuck, where are the advertisements when আপনি need them?
Well if ফ্যানপপ won't add them for me, then I will!
And please watch these too. Not only did I find some really funny ones, but LORD KNOWS আপনি probably need a break too.
Plus, it makes me unique from other reviewers. :D
So yeah, here আপনি go!
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AAAAND WE'RE BACK! ^___^
Better aim my napalm flamethrower. >:(
But remember guys, Mentos, the fresh-maker! :D
"He rubbed it to life."
What. The. FUCK!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?
"Spongebob moaned."
(Must...not....spam...advertisements.....)
"Squidward continued to rub at and grab at Spongebob's balls to get him hot."
This is আরো disturbing then Faker...
Achievement unlocked Cheeze18! CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS. >:(
(How do আপনি like the new running gag? ^__^)
"It dd make him hot, and Spongebob saw Squidward's erection for the first time that night."
ABOUT TO PUSH THE আগুন BUTTON ON THE NAPALM FLAMETHROWER! >:(
"He kneeled down and took the light-blue co** n his mouth."
আপনি know what's a huge shame guys? I just randomly find these. Yeah, I don't type in, "Worst Spongebob অনুরাগী Fictions Ever" in Google, I just read the first result on the page.
Again, society fucking sucks nowadays.
"Spongebob sucked and licked and rubbed while he worked at his own hard on."
Same problem Sonic and Tails and Knuckles Go Fishing had, FUCK COMMAS! ^___^
"Spongebob was আরো hot, though, as he felt his d*** felt up with his seed."
Now the লেখক has a comma fetish. JUST FANTASTIC.
"He moaned and went faster. He then took it deep in his mouth and deep throated."
I am praying to god right now that the লেখক wasn't aroused when making this. o___O
If he did, then he was successfully been even আরো of a demented satanic pervert then the লেখক of The Pokemon Story.
Two achievements unlocked, YOU'RE ON A WINNING STREAK CHEEZE18! ^__^
"Spongebob conjured up আরো saliva and sucked faster."
We all know what's about to happen... *Gags*
TrueBlueTeam: Yeah, the white stuff! ^___^
Me: link
(Replace Lazer with napalm flamethrower. :D)
(And according to গুগুল Auto-Correct, Lazer, no matter how আপনি spell it, isn't a word.)
(Fuck logic.)
"Squidward moaned and held the back of Spongebob's head. His own ejaculate rose back up into the main tube."
Starting to miss when Faker called it white stuff. o-O
"He was gonna cum."
And apparently, গুগুল Auto-Correct thinks gonna is a word.
In the words of TheUncleChairman: Indeed, logic has escaped out the window.
"Squidward held on for his life."
Haha.....AHHAHAHAAHAH!!!! What is this, Mission Impossible, The Sex Edition?
That was the funniest part of this whole অনুরাগী fiction. ^__^
Sadly though, it wasn't INTENDED to be a joke, just bad vocabulary.
AW COME ON! :(
"It was gonna be a big one!"
আপনি have got to be fucking kidding me.
"Even bigger than when he and Spongebob dry humped and rubbed each other's d***s."
Even আরো bonus points for bastardizing a character as much as possible!
EXTREME FEVER!!!! ^__________^ (You never played Peggle, have you?)
"Squidward scrunched up his face and gritted his teeth."
This is the most awkward sex scene I've ever read in a অনুরাগী fiction. I mean, this isn't just sex, this is like a freaking action movie!
Damn, it sounds like the fucking Matrix!
Matrix Script: Neo gritted his teeth as he shot Agent Smith, and with perfect accuracy, the bullet took him down. Agent Smith's scrunched up face haunted Neo forever after that day, as well as the dead bodies of the Sentinels.
WOW, what a coincidence...... o___O
Not even making a conspiracy joke, that was weird....
HOT NIGHTS AT THE KRUSTY KRAB! INCLUDES PORN, 24 ঘন্টা NIGHT SHIFTS, BORING DIALOGUE, AND THE FUCKING MATRIX! ^___^
"His face was becoming beet red."
Again, the dialogue in this story is horrible, they just compared Squidward's face to a beet.
Wow, there's some real clutch vocabulary in here! :D
"Oh...oh..here it comes! he moaned."
Like a one বছর old without their দুধ bottle.
"Spongebob went slower, and still suckled."
I'll tell আপনি one thing, the লেখক Cheeze18 can suck on fucking glass.
"He moaned himself, apparently at his own limit. He went at a slow pace and then pulled the d*** out."
Can আপনি please fucking ejaculate so I can go প্রথমপাতা and get some lunch? It's already 4:12, and my বন্ধু are waiting for me! Jeez, the Superbowl doesn't last forever, আপনি know!
"He took it with one yellow hand..."
NO SHIT SHERLOCK, SPONGEBOB HAS YELLOW HANDS, WE ALL FUCKING KNOW THAT!
This is worse than, *Sonic the hedgehog was a hedgehog.*
"And rubbed, nice and slow. This made Squidward groan and made his body heat up another five অথবা ten degrees."
Mr. Krabs: DON'T TOUCH ME THERMOSTAT! ^___^
Damn, why did আপনি have to ruin Spongebob for me, Cheeze18?
Fucking Rule 34.
"He rolled his eyes back as a final stroke set him off. Hot squid spunk shot up into the air, and landed on the yellow recipient's face, on his tongue, in his holes, on his hands, and even that nose of his."
Fuck vocabulary. Just, fuck it.
Actually, knowing Rule 34 there probably already is a porn অনুরাগী fiction on the word vocabulary getting fucked.
Again, society. What is wrong with you?
"Spongebob was set off, and he ejaculated all over Squidward's legs, and on the once clean floor."
Can আপনি believe I have been trying to find bad অনুরাগী fictions in general, but the only bad ones I could find were porn?
Think of it, only কাপকেক and Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles go fishing (At least not yet.) Have no porn in them, so what the hell?
I'm now taking suggestions for terrible অনুরাগী fictions that aren't porn, HELP ME OUT HERE GUYS. O____O
Can't be that bad right?
Oh no... WHAT HAVE I DONE!?
"He gasped for breath, while panting Squidward's name, excitidly."
Wait... I typed that correct, right? *Checks* Yeah, I did!
So.... আরো BAD SPELLING NOT FOR THE WIN. >:(
Also, I don't know if I mentioned this yet অথবা not, but often during these অনুরাগী fiction reviews the অনুরাগী fictions won't let me copy-paste, which not only makes reviewing this harder, (And painful...) But it make me have to check everything and it's the reason some of my episodes aren't done yet.
It's bad enough পাঠ করা these stories, but it's even worse when I have to type them out on here.
If আপনি find a bad অনুরাগী fiction that isn't porn, make sure আপনি can copy-paste, PLEASE.
Anyways, I think it's time for another refreshing pause! ^___^
And that means.... COMMERCIAL TIME! :D
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HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN COME UP WITH THIS!?
“Gerard committed suicide last night” Zoey said. “I found him hanging in our bedroom”
Daphne covered her mouth. “Oh my God, that’s…awful” she said
Daphne threw her arms around Zoey and Zoey faked a few tears and sobs. She pushed Daphne away and ব্যক্ত she had to tell Alexia. She put her টাকার থলি on the dresser, knowing Daphne would see the letter and be too curious to leave it where it is.
And indeed, a মিনিট later, Daphne stormed outside, hysterically crying how everything was her fault.
Zoey walked back inside, trusting Daphne would need some time to calm down. She opened Daphne’s computer and connected a portable hard drive to it. The hard drive contained a fake video of Cas doing things with Alexia.
Zoey copied the video to Daphne’s files and then removed the hard drive. She closed the computer and called Alexia.
“Let’s go, Lex” she said. “We’re going to your grandparents”
Daphne covered her mouth. “Oh my God, that’s…awful” she said
Daphne threw her arms around Zoey and Zoey faked a few tears and sobs. She pushed Daphne away and ব্যক্ত she had to tell Alexia. She put her টাকার থলি on the dresser, knowing Daphne would see the letter and be too curious to leave it where it is.
And indeed, a মিনিট later, Daphne stormed outside, hysterically crying how everything was her fault.
Zoey walked back inside, trusting Daphne would need some time to calm down. She opened Daphne’s computer and connected a portable hard drive to it. The hard drive contained a fake video of Cas doing things with Alexia.
Zoey copied the video to Daphne’s files and then removed the hard drive. She closed the computer and called Alexia.
“Let’s go, Lex” she said. “We’re going to your grandparents”
The পরবর্তি morning.
Zoey was talking with the mortician, while Alexia was watching cartoons. At least Zoey was under the impression Alexia was watching cartoons. Until her little girl let out a shriek.
“Mommy!”
Zoey, scared something had happened to Alexia, jumped up and ran into the sitting room. Alexia was staring at the screen.
“Lex, what’s going on? আপনি almost gave mommy a হৃদয় attack” Zoey ব্যক্ত and swallowed a few times to calm down.
“Mommy, come look” Alexia ব্যক্ত breathless. “Uncle Emmanuel is on TV”
Zoey rushed to the টেলিভিশন and increased the volume.
“Last night the police arrested a man named Castiel for the abuse of a four বছর old girl” the newsreader said.
“Alexia, go play outside” Zoey ব্যক্ত trembling.
“Why do they call him Castiel, mommy? His name’s Emmanuel” Alexia ব্যক্ত confused.
“Now!” Zoey yelled and Alexia ran outside.
Zoey was talking with the mortician, while Alexia was watching cartoons. At least Zoey was under the impression Alexia was watching cartoons. Until her little girl let out a shriek.
“Mommy!”
Zoey, scared something had happened to Alexia, jumped up and ran into the sitting room. Alexia was staring at the screen.
“Lex, what’s going on? আপনি almost gave mommy a হৃদয় attack” Zoey ব্যক্ত and swallowed a few times to calm down.
“Mommy, come look” Alexia ব্যক্ত breathless. “Uncle Emmanuel is on TV”
Zoey rushed to the টেলিভিশন and increased the volume.
“Last night the police arrested a man named Castiel for the abuse of a four বছর old girl” the newsreader said.
“Alexia, go play outside” Zoey ব্যক্ত trembling.
“Why do they call him Castiel, mommy? His name’s Emmanuel” Alexia ব্যক্ত confused.
“Now!” Zoey yelled and Alexia ran outside.
The door of Meg’s motel room opened and Meg stared at the door way. She was still stuck under the Key of Solomon.
“Anna told me আপনি were innocent for a change” Sam said.
“Well, now that you’ve discovered I’m actually a saint, could আপনি get me out of here?” Meg suggested. Sam shook his head and walked towards her, though kept a নিরাপদ distance. “First I want to set a few things straight. Castiel is not going to leave prison, unless আপনি do something. Personally, I don’t care if আপনি killed that man অথবা not. What I do care about is that you’re the only one who can get him out of there” Sam said.
“Why would I help him? What’s in it for me?” Meg wanted to know.
“If আপনি do the right thing, then I guarantee আপনি Dean and I will never try to kill আপনি again. You’ll be off our radar for good” Sam said.
That was a tempting offer. “What do আপনি want me to do?” she asked.
“Anna told me আপনি were innocent for a change” Sam said.
“Well, now that you’ve discovered I’m actually a saint, could আপনি get me out of here?” Meg suggested. Sam shook his head and walked towards her, though kept a নিরাপদ distance. “First I want to set a few things straight. Castiel is not going to leave prison, unless আপনি do something. Personally, I don’t care if আপনি killed that man অথবা not. What I do care about is that you’re the only one who can get him out of there” Sam said.
“Why would I help him? What’s in it for me?” Meg wanted to know.
“If আপনি do the right thing, then I guarantee আপনি Dean and I will never try to kill আপনি again. You’ll be off our radar for good” Sam said.
That was a tempting offer. “What do আপনি want me to do?” she asked.
