Hello everybody! I am back with a loooooong chapter, I am sorry that I just updated now, but I didn't really have time for writing. Hope আপনি will like this! Hugs and kisses ;-) (L)

2 months later

-    Hey, honey!
-    Yes? – Hugh looked up from an American tabloid.
-    I thought about going to the theatre tonight… what do আপনি think?
-    Ok… sure but আপনি don’t have to ask me for permission, আপনি know – he ব্যক্ত absentmindedly.
-    For permission??? Hugh, I want to go with you! It was an invitation! – Jo ব্যক্ত in astonishment.
-    Oh… well, I am not really in the mood…. – he ব্যক্ত uncertainly, not wanting to have another argument. Since he was back in London, he felt like as if they were just arguing non-stop.
-    I see. I don’t even know why I am surprised anymore. আপনি don’t want to do anything. আপনি hardly talk to me অথবা anyone for that matter. আপনি haven’t even stepped out of the house since আপনি came back. What the hell happened Hugh? I mean I thought আপনি would be happy, that আপনি could finally come প্রথমপাতা to me and our children but it seems to me that আপনি would rather be anywhere but here. I know আপনি miss the প্রদর্শনী and your বন্ধু but this is your প্রথমপাতা Hugh. We could hardly wait for আপনি to come প্রথমপাতা and now that আপনি are here… আপনি are further away from us now than when আপনি were in America. I would like আপনি to think about this. I will go to the groceries now. – And with that she turned on her heels and walked out of the living-room, leaving Hugh to his thoughts.
-    Great…- he murmured to himself throwing the tabloid on the টেবিল with an angry sigh, rubbing his face with his hands. He heaved a sigh than picked up the paper unable to resist looking at a beautiful woman who was caught দ্বারা a paparazzi walking with her boyfriend. – At least আপনি are happy. – He ব্যক্ত to himself.

He stood up, put the traitorous paper on the টেবিল and went over to his piano. He hasn’t even had the energy to play. He didn’t have the energy for anything really. When he came home, he thought that finally, he could put his life back in order, as it was supposed to be. However, the মিনিট he stepped through the threshold and laid eyes on his wife, a terrible feeling came over him. He promised himself that he would come back and try, but it seemed impossible, as he couldn’t even find it in himself to feel anything for Jo.
He missed her terribly. He tried to banish her from his thoughts, thinking that it was for the best, but for who, he thought bitterly, because he felt like crap, to be honest. Of course, he was happy to spend time with his children but even they could feel that something is wrong with him, and he couldn’t blame them. Jo was right. He is further away from them than he was ever before. And he very well knew why. He left a part of him there with her. A part he had no idea how to get back, not even sure he wanted to.
He placed his finger on the keys, and started to play and sing softly, knowing that nobody is at home, and he doesn’t have to be afraid of someone overhearing him.

I ignored the signs
I chose to be blind
Now I seek redemption
Kneeling on the floor, practicing remorse…


Flashback

-    Come on! আপনি have to taste this, it’s delicious! - Lisa insisted with a big smile on her face.
-    Oh nooo way. I am a man, I don’t eat rabbit food, and আপনি should know it দ্বারা now. – He ব্যক্ত with a grin.
-    Don’t be ridiculous! It’s not rabbit food. It’s healthy, and আপনি won’t die if আপনি taste it just for once. – She ব্যক্ত scowling.
-    Well maybe I won’t die, but still what if I am allergic to this thing… - he ব্যক্ত with a somber expression, pouting and trying not to laugh at Lisa’s disbelieving face – would আপনি take the chance?
-    Allergic? To tofu? Seriously? That’s your argument? Sorry but আপনি have to try harder than that if আপনি want to avoid eating this – she ব্যক্ত while getting closer and closer to his mouth with a fork of tofu. He tried to avoid it দ্বারা turning his head, smirking triumphantly at her, while she just glared at him.
-    No, no, thank আপনি but I am perfectly fine with my মাংসের ফালি over here, and I wouldn’t want আপনি to stay hungry, so please just eat it without terrorizing me with that stuff – he replied smartly.
-    Well smart-ass let me tell আপনি one thing, আপনি will have a bite অথবা আপনি are going to be in big trouble. – She ব্যক্ত innocently.
-    Really? Well bring it on Lizzy – he said, while waggling his eyebrows, and using the nickname he knew she hated.
-    That’s war, আপনি know. And I hope আপনি are prepared to get your গাধা kicked দ্বারা a girl – she told him smugly, and without waiting for a come back she attacked him and started tickling him anywhere she could reach him.
-    Hey, that’s… not ….fair, L-isa, s –t – op. – he could barely get out a sentence.
-    Well do আপনি surrender? – She asked mischievously.
-    No way in hell. – He ব্যক্ত then grabbed her arm and pulled her out of her আসন determined to tickle her back, until she started to have her giggles.
-    Hugh, no no noooooooo – she ব্যক্ত alarmed, knowing he will have no mercy.
-    Well? Are আপনি going to give up? – He asked her, his hand inches from her side.
-    Yes, yes I give up - she ব্যক্ত between laughs, even if his hands weren’t even touching her. – Just please let me go – she ব্যক্ত pleadingly.
-    Okay. I will forgive আপনি for your little stunt earlier.
-    Thank আপনি sir. – She stuck her tongue out at him. – Um Hugh, আপনি know, I didn’t want to tell আপনি this…. – she began with a nervous voice, sitting back in her chair – but I had a dream about আপনি last night. – She barely looked up at him and he suddenly became anxious, although he had no idea why.
-    What did আপনি dream about? – When she didn’t answer just put some tofu on her fork with shaking hands he really started to worry. – Lisa, hey, what’s wrong?
-    I…. we… okay, I will just get this out of my system – and with one breath she ব্যক্ত – I dreamt that we had sex yesterday. – she looked up finally, just to see Hugh look like a মাছ out of water, and drop his jaw in astonishment. She couldn’t ভালুক it any longer. She cracked a big smile but quickly showed the tofu in his open mouth. And started to laugh uncontrollably at his expression. Hugh had no other choice than to গেলা the food.
-    You evil, evil woman. I can’t believe that আপনি just did that. – he said, trying to frown, but failing miserably when he see just how big of a smile was on her face.
-    All is fair in প্রণয় and war…. – she ব্যক্ত winking, getting out of her chair and planting a চুম্বন on his cheek, then leaving him with a surprised but not unpleasant feeling in his stomach.

The picture vanished in front of his mind’s eye. He never told her how much he really liked tofu after that. Starting another verse he closed his eyes and let another memory engulf him.

Your memories inside me
Tearing me apart
Even though I try
I can’t draw the line…


Flashback

-    Hey guys! What’s up?
-    Nothing, we just thought about having a movie night. – ব্যক্ত Jesse.
-    Really? Well that’s a great idea. আপনি were working really hard in the past couple of months. আপনি guys deserve to have a break. – Lisa ব্যক্ত with a kind smile.
-    Oh আপনি are coming as well. – ব্যক্ত Hugh grinning at Lisa.
-    Really? And how do আপনি know that I don’t have any plans for tonight? – she asked challengingly.
-    Well, first of all, আপনি didn’t say anything about plans for tonight, and we all know if আপনি had anything to do আপনি would have already told us about it, আপনি can’t really keep things to yourself if আপনি are excited – he ব্যক্ত ignoring Lisa’s scowl. – Secondly, having program with a new blind তারিখ doesn’t count, we are আরো important than that I hope আপনি know. Thirdly, do not play hard to get we know আপনি are dying to come. – Hugh ব্যক্ত smartly while grinning broadly at Lisa, who just glared at him in reply.
-    Well if আপনি insist, I think I can make time for this movie night. So is it going to be the four of us অথবা were আপনি planning to invite anybody else?
-    Well we should invite Jennifer and Omar, they shouldn’t be left out. – ব্যক্ত Robert Sean Leonard.
-    Good idea.
-    Okay, I will ask them. – volunteered Jesse and set off to find the two.
-    Well, I am going to practice my lines – with that Robert ব্যক্ত goodbye as well, leaving alone the two of them.
-    So tonight?
-    Of course, as আপনি have already told me that I have no other choice… - she ব্যক্ত smiling softly at him.
-    Have আপনি read the script?
-    Which part?
-    Where Selah comes back.
-    Oh, yeah.
-    You are gonna have the scene আপনি know. – she ব্যক্ত a little mysteriously to him.
-    What scene? – he had no idea what she was hinting at.
-    Oh আপনি know the বিছানা scene.
-    Ah yes. Why? Jealous? – he winked at her which made her blush a little.
-    Nooooo I am perfectly aware of the fact that Cuddy would score in the end – she ব্যক্ত confidently with a little grin on her face.
-    Really? And how do আপনি know that?
-    Well, haven’t আপনি seen their chemistry? And I have good instincts আপনি know. – she was smiling widely now.
-    That’s great I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else, I mean House, of course. – he ব্যক্ত while getting up, ready to leave – tonight, don’t forget!
-    As if I could – ha faintly heard her murmuring, although he wasn’t sure he heard her correctly, only hoped so.

It was a great night. Lot of laughing, everybody had a good night. That was the first night he thought about what it would be like to চুম্বন her.

They linger everywhere
Where I can’t reach you
Running is no use
There is no place to hide from you


Flashback

-    Do আপনি know what দিন today is?
-    Umm… Wednesday, অথবা is this a tricky question? – ha asked humorously.
-    Noooooo. I mean yes, it is Wednesday but what else? – she prompted.
-    Umm… we didn’t arrange anything for today, right? - he asked, while desperately trying to খুঁজুন his memory for any clues.
-    Noooooo. – she ব্যক্ত impatiently now. Tapping her foot on the floor a little.
-    Oh… it couldn’t be, could it? I mean আপনি suuurely wouldn’t be this excited because of a little স্নেহ চুম্বন scene right? - he asked with a straight face but laughter in his eyes. She only huffed a breath then ব্যক্ত exasperatedly.
-    It’s not just a little kiss. It’s a whole scene; I mean they finally got together, even if it’s just a hallucination. – she glared at him, when his grin only got bigger and bigger.
-    Fine. আপনি can laugh all আপনি want, but to Cuddy it means a lot.
-    But it doesn’t even happen to Cuddy, didn’t আপনি mean House?
-    Umm. Yes. Whatever. In the long run, Cuddy will benefit from it. That’s for sure. – she ব্যক্ত with such determination, that he started to have a feeling they are not talking about their characters anymore.
-    If আপনি say so…
-    Well, I certainly hope so – she said, and he detected something in her eyes, he didn’t see before. There was longing, pain, sadness and something he couldn’t put his finger on. She nodded and started to walk away from him, leaving him there, confused.
-    This woman is going to be the death of me. And that is sure. – he muttered to himself.

It was not much later, that he realized that something in her eyes was love.

Every fiber of my body is longing, but no
It’s your turn to let me go
I was generous giving back your heart
But আপনি broke the deal with keeping mine

Flashback

-    Hey, do আপনি have plans for tonight?
-    No, not really. Why? – asked Lisa with a smile.
-    Well, I though we could watch some DVD and have ডিনার maybe. So, what do আপনি think?
-    Of course, it would be great. Only the two of us? – she asked as an after thought.
-    Umm…. Yes. Is it a problem? – he asked in a surprised tone.
-    No! Not at all. – she rushed to calm him.
-    Are আপনি sure? Is my wonderful company going to be good enough for you? – he asked mischievously.
-    Believe me when I say that it’s going to be আরো than enough. – she replied with a laugh.
-    Well then get going. I am starving.
-    Tofu? – she grinned at him.
-    I think I will pass but thank you. – he ব্যক্ত while making a face at her, Lisa only laughed at his expression. – what about some Italian?
-    That’s fine with me.
-    Okay then. Let’s go to my house, and I will order on the way home.
-    So is it প্রথমপাতা now? – Lisa asked when they arrived at Hugh’s house.
-    What?
-    You ব্যক্ত that আপনি would order on your way home. I just never heard আপনি use the term প্রথমপাতা to your house even though আপনি live here for আরো than 4 years now. – she ব্যক্ত curiously.
-    Well, LA became my প্রথমপাতা I guess, I just never dwell on the thought for long, আপনি know, it’s still strange a bit. Calling প্রথমপাতা this, when my family is in London.
-    Yes, I understand. – she ব্যক্ত with a small smile. They settled into a comfortable silence, when they heard the bell.
-    I am going to get it. – after a মিনিট he came back to the রান্নাঘর and suggested that they should eat in the living-room while watching a film.
-    So what do আপনি want to watch?
-    You can choose. Just not something girly. – he added as an after thought.
-    You have girly films? – she asked with a wide smile, thinking she could tease him about it later on.
-    Well, not me, but Rebecca, আপনি know. – he ব্যক্ত defensively.
-    Yes, I would say the same if I were you, আপনি big softie. – she chuckled.
-    Pff.,, I am anything but soft.
-    Really?
-    Really. Want me to prove it?
-    Sure, if আপনি can I mean. – she was openly laughing at him now. Seeing this, Hugh went over to her and picked her up in his arms without a thought and carried her to the পালঙ্ক while Lisa giggled uncontrollably.
-    Now was that manly enough for you? – he asked winking.
-    Yes, আপনি have proven your point. – she ব্যক্ত still smiling widely at him.

He had no idea what came over him, but in that moment he wanted nothing আরো than চুম্বন her. And he did, for once in his life he did something impulsively. And it was the moment when everything started to go wrong between them. The চুম্বন was soft at first. Tentative even. He could tell Lisa was surprised as hell, to tell the truth he was just as surprised at himself, he wanted to pull away immediately, but he felt that she was স্নেহ চুম্বন back, and he soon found himself making out with his co-star passionately on his পালঙ্ক as if his life depended on it. He never felt that way before, his whole body was on fire, and he poured every hidden emotion in the চুম্বন which they only broke when the need for air became unbearable. He would never forget those eyes. Filled with lust and love. But soon reality came crashing down on them, and the only thing that remained in her eyes was pain. And he knew for sure that he wouldn’t want to see that expression on her face ever again.
-    I’m sorry. যীশু Lisa, I am so sorry.
-    You don’t have to be sorry for anything Hugh.
-    I kissed আপনি for goodness shake!
-    And I kissed আপনি back if I am not mistaken. – she ব্যক্ত in a small voice, full of sadness.
-    Still… I shouldn’t have. I am sorry; I have no idea what cam over me. – he couldn’t meet her eyes after this blatant lie, after all he knew very well what came over him. He wanted to চুম্বন her, it wasn’t an accident. He was attracted to her from দিন one, and even though he didn’t let himself acknowledge the fact he fell in প্রণয় with her, somewhere along the way.
-    Don’t worry, nothing happened. – she said, while he looked at her dubiously – I think, it would be the best if I go. Just promise me one thing.
-    Yes?
-    We are going to stay friends. আপনি are not going to avoid me and wallow in guilt because of our little kiss. – she pleaded.
-    I promise.


It was the সেকেন্ড time that night that he had lied to her.

Let me go before I go insane
I taste your lips, your kisses I crave
Whispers on skin, never felt so real
Waking from this dream, I can’t stop the tears…