Sam

1. Offer him Visine at inappropriate moments.
2. Mock his choice in becoming an Eye. Wouldn't a Mouth অথবা a Hand be easier?
3. Knock on bedroom doors around Mordor late at night and complain that আপনি had a bad dream.
4. Train his armies to sing "The Ants Go Marching One দ্বারা One."
5. During secret evil plotting meetings, raise your hand and ask to go to the bathroom in a whiny voice. Squirm a lot if he says no.
6. Tell Sauron "Wormtounge ব্যক্ত you're looking fatter."
7. Tell Wormtounge "Sauron ব্যক্ত you're looking fatter."
8. Then throw a party and force both to sit through it. Sitting পরবর্তি to each...