I try to resist lisening in.
I make sure I have everything. I remember tossing my hat in your drawer. I pull it out and some papers fly out. I put my hat on and pick them up. I notice they have my name in hearts, stars, and roses. I get Butterflies. I look through them (hey, they have my name on them :P). You're so sweet!!! I've fallen for her... and... I'm NOT ashamed. She's beautiful and everything I would ever want in a girl. She may be 15... but... আপনি know? 3 years until she's 18 and maybe we could get married. Just be forever together. The only thing that would be a problem is the age... But I প্রণয় her. It's not sexual at all. It's innocent, pure Love. I mean, she is beautiful... But... If she was of age and we were ready, married, and happy, then yes. But now all I wanna do is hold her in my arms and try to tell her what words can't express.
I wipe the tear than unknowingly rolled down my cheek, put the notes back, make sure all my crap is packed and drag it downstairs.
আপনি see me and your eyes light up. I Smile. আপনি do, too. We hug. "I প্রণয় you," we whisper in unison, then giggle.
"Um... Adds..." আপনি stroke my hair.
"Well... God, I hate how your mother made me
tell আপনি this," আপনি bite your lip. It's always so cute! "... I can't..."
"Is it about Mom and Terry?" I ask, having a feeling.
আপনি nod. "Terry... Um... He caught-- God, I really hate having to tell আপনি this..."
"They're through?" I ask.
"... Yeah... So your mom's all alone and pissed, which is understandable... But I'm worried for you. I'm gonna try to calm her down... and..." আপনি sigh. "I'm truly sorry, Addy."
"This happens alot. It's not your fault she's a whore..."
"Addy," আপনি say, an odd expression on your face. "Anyways, I understand what you're going through..."
I squeeze your hand, and আপনি squeeze it back. I Smile. "I can get through this. I'm a trooper!"
আপনি giggle. I pull up a chair (I'm 5'3 and you're, like, almost 6' tall?) and stand on it.
"Shorty," আপনি giggle.
"Shush," I giggle and চুম্বন your cheek.
... I wish my Mom would actually care about someone other than herself. Maybe she would if she wasn't a two-timing whore... Out for people's Money... She needs to stop complaining. She brings this sh*t onto herself.
I মোড়ানো my arms around your neck, and আপনি মোড়ানো your arms around my waist. I get Butterflies. Our lips meet. I'm in Heaven, Michael. I'm in Heaven's Heaven. Fireworks explode like bombs in my head. Your lips are soft, warm and sweet... Our hearts are racing at the speed of light. It's a soft, sweet (no tongue!) kiss... Until the doorbell ruins the mood. We softly part. We Smile at eachother. I'm so giddy and glad, though I shouldn't be for my mother's sake.
The doorbell keeps on ringing. "Sorry Linda!" আপনি say, opening the door while I set my stuff on the couch.
"Whatever," she sighs.
"Hey Mom," I wave, trying to hide my Euphoric state, and আপনি are, too. আপনি help me with my bag, I tell আপনি I've got it, but আপনি say nooooooo
"Mom, I thought আপনি were gonna tell me in the car? Why'd আপনি make Eo tell me?" I ask.
"I have my reasons, Addiline." she growls, causing আপনি to wince.
"Linda," আপনি say in a gentle manner. She gives আপনি a thoughtful look.
"Addy, when we get home, get dressed, get your violin, make yourself look presentable, then wait." she then says.
"For what?" I ask.
, Addy, the teacher
. Every Saturday!"
"Sorry," I roll my eyes. "The rest of today is gonna be soooo Disneyland."
"Addiline," she growls.
"You always act like such a b*tch to me when your husband runs away," I'm now on the verge of tears. I can get very emotional.
"You act like it's my
fault when this happens! Like I'm
the Bad kid and made him leave! But আপনি know good and well if আপনি would just close your legs and stop giving Money away, then maybe আপনি would
find a good man! I am SO f*cking tired of this sh*t! it's not like I get a say in who আপনি marry. Every. Single. Man you've gone with was disgusting, sick and rude to me- আপনি didn't care! আপনি were 'in Love' with the prick! What the f*ck! The only guy that went well with আপনি and me caught you! Just like Terry! What the Hell is wrong with you??" I let out a breath, take my bag and slam the door behind me.
So much for being a trooper.
Mom doesn't even acknowledge me in the car. She doesn't care about the truths I've pointed out, অথবা how that I'm Crying.
But you're holding me close, letting me Cry on আপনি for the সেকেন্ড time today.
"I'm sorry," I whisper as আপনি squeeze my hand. আপনি softly murmur, that it's okay.
Mom has road rage, and I'm so damn glad we live close. When we get into the drive way she slams hard on the breaks.
"God damn, Mom," I growl.
"Shut up, Addiline," she says back. "Go get dressed. Go look like আপনি care about your appearance. Slap on some makeup and look
like আপনি want to attract someone, because God knows আপনি can't naturally."
"Linda!" আপনি exclaim.
"Fuck you, Mom," I shoot the bird at Mom and go upstairs. I hear আপনি try to say something to me, but Mom stops you.
I put on a black, long-sleeved fitted sirt that dips into a "V" and some purple skinnies.
Makeup shmakeup. Forget that.
I grab my violin and wait downstairs.
"I didn't ask আপনি to dress like a whore," God, Mom, আপনি just gotta Be Startin Somethin.
"What the f*ck, আপনি gave
me this shirt!"
"Stop cursing! I'm not your friends, আপনি can't just curse at me!"
"Whatever," I go back upstairs.
"Addy," I hear your sweet gentle voice. Like সঙ্গীত to ears and soul. আপনি just came from the bathroom up here, cuz your hands smell like Pomagranite Mango. আপনি pull me into a gentle hug. "You're not ugly, and আপনি don't look like a whore. You're truly beautiful. You're mother's just mad..."
I blush. "Thank you... Are আপনি staying?" I ask.
আপনি nod, look around and চুম্বন my cheek. I shiver. I want to চুম্বন your lips again...
"The violin teacher's gonna freak!" I giggle. "She's a huge fan!" I play with your silky curls and আপনি চুম্বন my cheek again.
"On a scale from 1 to you?" আপনি joke.
"She's real close," I প্রদর্শনী আপনি with my fingers. Your laugh is delightful. I tell আপনি I'm going to change before Mom asks what's talking me so long.