posted by উন্ডওয়াকারগাই৪৩০
So, I have to tell আপনি all… I fucking hate the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards. They are always filled with the most bullshit decisions, the most annoying songs, and they take two hours out of my life every year. So, why am I reviewing it… BECAUSE THE ADS ALL OVER ফ্যানপপ WERE A FUCKING NIGHTMARE! In fact, I’m watching it right now, just to see how fucking horrible it is… So, lets start
So, we start with people chanting Nick. That will get REALLY annoying. Especially for a guy named Nick………… Anyway, we then cut to Nick Jonas, who is গান গাওয়া some crappy song. Well, we are just off to a great fucking start, aren’t we. But, was Nick Jonas really the best idea for a host. 2006 had Jack Black. 2012 had Will Smith. Now.. we have one of the guys from a forgotten band… well, what a জনপ্রিয় decision.
So, they then mention the people who are a part of this shit. I do not see Jack Black anywhere, so I have হারিয়ে গেছে all hope for this year. So, Nick Jonas begins talking about One Direction… is there ANY chance for there to be actual talent in this event. So, then Jamie Foxx comes in to announce the award… um… okay. So, we get the first award, which is Best Movie Actress. The nominations are Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Emma Stone, and Jennifer Garner, and Megan Fox… My guesses are that the ones with no talent are gonna win… And, sure enough, the winner is Emma Stone. All I know was that she was in the Amazing Spider-Man, and I fucking hate that version, so… I don’t care. But, at least it wasn’t Cameron Diaz. So, after that, Ecosmith comes… Uh…. Who? Never heard of them. Though, consider their first appearance, they are VERY annoying. Oh, and we then cut to a commercial… Literally, after not even eleven মিনিট of air time, they just cut to a commercial… Goody, shitty advertisments. I’m not gonna talk about those, because they have no part of the event, but, I’ll just say they suck.
So, after that, we are greeted with Chris Rock and… Someone I don’t know. Well, at least we got some talent. However, knowing Nickelodeon, their gonna fuck it up somehow. So, then the award for Family TV shows, is Marvel’s Agents of Shield, Modern Family, Once Upon a Time, Big Bang Theory, The Flash… Don’t know any but Big Bang Theory… no doubt, it’s gonna lose… Sure enough, Big Bang Theory doesn’t win. Nope, it’s Modern Family… Again, I haven’t heard of Modern Family… but since people voted for it, it must not be my thing. We are then greeted from the kids from the Haunted Hathaways… And I HATE that show, so আপনি can imagine how I felt about them being on the screen. Of course, I can’t blame them for being in a terrible show. So, there is a vote going on saying that the best live প্রদর্শনী on Nickelodeon which is between the three worst fucking shows… GOODY.
So, we get these two girls, who are already annoying me to death, as they present the পরবর্তি award. The nominees for Best Kids প্রদর্শনী is Austin and Ally (Crap), Dog with the Blog (Fucking Horrible), Every Witch Way (Terrible), Henry Danger (Shit), Jessie (Awful), and Ricky, Nicky, Dicky, and Dawn (Atrocious). so, Austin and Ally wins. Goody, lets give all the awards to nothing with talent. And we are greeted to a scream that splits my ears open. As if that is needed. So, there is a vote talking about Nickelodeons best show… Uh, that’s kinda hard, since.. আপনি know, ALL THEIR SHOWS SUCK! The shows are The Thundermans, which, in my opinion, is the worst live action প্রদর্শনী Nickelodeon ever had, Bella and the Bulldogs, which is a fucking piece of shit, and Ricky, Nicky, Dicky, and Dawn, which is so annoying, it nearly fucks up my ears.
We then cut to another commercial. The commercials are boring, stupid, and annoying and I really fucking hate them.
So, once that is done, we are shown the dressing room of 5 সেকেন্ড of Summer… I have never heard their music, so hopefully, they aren’t too bad… but I am kinda leaning towards the opposite. So, Nick Jonas gets a call from his grandma, who is actually just Joe Jonas in a suit, it isn’t funny, and it was just entirely pointless. So, the nominees for the পছন্দ Cartoon are Adventure Time, which I love, Phineas and Ferb, which is okay, Spongebob Squarepants, which is awful, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which I have not seen Teen Titans Go, which is THE WORST FUCKING CARTOON EV- ….and Fairly Odd Parents, which I don’t like anymore… and, since it is Nickelodeon, I am not surprise that Spongebob wins. I mean, it is the worst cartoon on Nickelodeon wins. So, then there are the nominees for Best Artists…. I hate modern music, so to avoid a massive rage moment, I’ll just say that Fifth Harmony wins, and just সরানো on.
So, we then cut to আরো commercials. Now, I AM gonna talk about them, because they actually put the Kids Choice Awards over a new Mario Party game…. I feel so violated just seeing such a great game get covered in shit like THAT.
So, now that we are back with this event… As unfortunate as it is, we then get to see Nick Jonas post a self portrait with the audience… and if আপনি call it a selfie, I will fucking kill আপনি (Not really, but আপনি get the idea). So, we then get a song sang দ্বারা Iggy Azalea… Needless to say, I am not a অনুরাগী of her music. Also, she’s dressed as a prisoner, and all off the backup singers are cops… How symbolic, since most of the জনপ্রিয় musicians these days are always arrested. So, after that, Paul Blart, the mall cop, comes in… Um… okay… Kind of odd that he is here, since, if anyone has been on Rotten Tomatoes lately, would know that his movie… was kinda shit. So, the award for Best Male তারকা is… well, they সরানো much faster than I can type, so, all I know is that the winner is Liam Hemsworth… Also, the announcers go ahead and announce the Best Movie award, which was Hunger Games. They don’t even mention the nominees, so what the fuck was the point. So, for the winner of the best প্রদর্শনী is The Thundermans… I swear, Nickelodeon is just TRYING to piss me off.
So, we then cut to the আরো commercials….. Just fuck it দ্বারা this point.
So, after that, the stars of The Thundermans get slimed, because its some Nickelodeon tradition. Like Easter Eggs…. অথবা the sacrifice in The Wicker Man
So, the best movie actor is Ben Stiller… obviously, not the best choice. The best Female Actress is Jennifer Lawrence, because of the Hunger Games, which is overrated in my opinion. The best movie is Big Hero 6. For once, a good vote. The best সঙ্গীত group is One Direction, which was a stupid fucking idea. The best singer is Selena Gomez, who I don’t hear. The best বই Diary of a Wimpy Kid, also which I find overrated. Then there is the best game is Minecraft. What, so it isn’t fucking Call of Duty, অথবা Grand Theft Auto. To be honest, I’m surprised. And the best musical প্রদর্শনী is The Voice. আপনি mean that American Idol rip-off. Yeah, that is… just fucking great.
So, after… That, we then cut to Jennette Mccurdy, with Sam and Crap- I mean, Sam and Cat, and I-Cut-Myself-Every-Night-Because-Of-This-Show….. I mean, ICarly. So, she dares Nick Jonas to drink slim… I don’t know if that is unhealthy, অথবা possibly hazardous, but apparently, Nickelodeon is perfectly fine with it. So, we then cut to America’s “funniest”, one of them being Adam Sandler. Yeah, because Jack and Jill was SO fucking funny. Honestly, as much as Adam Sandler CAN be funny, he rarely does be funny. So, he Josh Gad make poor jokes, and we get to see the award for Best Reality Show… I fucking hate it already. I always hate Reality TV, so, I already know that all of them are losers. Of course, that isn’t the case, and Dance Moms wins. If I even talked about how awful it is, I’d be here all day.
So, there is a cut to Nick Jonas dressed up as a crazed fangirl of Nick Jonas. It isn’t funny, its just annoying and VERY random. Honestly, the last thing I want to see is Nick Jonas crossdressing. So, the nominees for Best MAle Singer is Blake Shelton, Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake, Nick Jonas, Pharrell Williams, Sam Smith… First off, why is the host a nominee. And sure enough, Nick Jonas wins. How fucking protanshias do আপনি need to be to be both a host an award winner. I swear to god, I’m just getting fucking exhausted.
So, we are then shown… shadow puppets. Yep, the same company that paid hundreds for dollars for all this slim has shadow puppets for an amazing event. So, the nominees for পছন্দ Villain is Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Donald Sutherland, Jamie Foxx, Lee Pace, and Meryl Streets… I literally know none of these people. So, Angelina Jolie wins. All I know is that she was in a ডিজনি remake, and that my mother really hates her. So, after that, we then get a to hear a song দ্বারা 5 সেকেন্ড of Summer. I have never heard of them since today, but, I will say it’s not as good as classical rock, but a thousand times better than dubstep.
So, after that, the event is finally over. I couldn’t be আরো happy. But,That’s not all. We then get a sneak peak to a new প্রদর্শনী call Harvey Beaks. The plot is about a Harvey wanting to get banned, annoy as much people as possible, and have terrible friends, and then there is a scene where Harvey . In other words, this is only a sneak peak and I fucking hate it.
So, there আপনি go. Sure, it isn’t as bad as The Kids Choice Award in 2010, 2011, or….. Oh god, 2012. But, don’t get me wrong, I still hate it. Now, I don’t know how আপনি guys will react, since there is a lot of opinions with celebrities. But, as usual, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take