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What's the best joke আপনি know?

 kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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যেভাবে খুশী  সর্বশ্রেষ্ঠ উত্তর

United86 said:
DIVORCE LETTER

Dear Wife:

I'm লেখা আপনি this letter to tell আপনি that I'm leaving আপনি forever. I've been a good man to আপনি for seven years and I have nothing to প্রদর্শনী for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that আপনি quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, আপনি came প্রথমপাতা and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,had cooked your পছন্দ meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. আপনি ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. আপনি don't tell me আপনি প্রণয় me anymore;
আপনি don't want sex অথবা anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me অথবা আপনি don't প্রণয় me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

______________________________________…
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my দিন আরো than receiving your letter.
It's true that আপনি and I have been married for seven years, although
a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so
much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when আপনি got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if আপনি can't say something nice, I
didn't comment. And when আপনি cooked my পছন্দ meal, আপনি must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from আপনি because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty do llars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved আপনি and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But then I got প্রথমপাতা আপনি were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope আপনি have the
fulfilling life আপনি always wanted. My lawyer ব্যক্ত that the letter
আপনি wrote ensures আপনি won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed ,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told আপনি this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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XD That's hilarious!
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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XD
LunaShay posted বছরখানেক আগে
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LMFAO XD
Outsidersfan123 posted বছরখানেক আগে
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উত্তর

pumpkinqueen said:
I have three funny jokes.

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown ভালুক suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The ভালুক sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The সেকেন্ড guys says, "What are আপনি doing? Sneakers won’t help আপনি outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

Here's the other one.

A guy is sitting at প্রথমপাতা when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a শামুক on the porch. He picks up the শামুক and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The শামুক says "What the hell was that all about?"

Here's the last one

Three kids come down to the রান্নাঘর and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves আরো fuckin’ French টোস্ট for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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All of those are hilarious! XD XD XD XD
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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They are all good! However I think that I heard them before!
United86 posted বছরখানেক আগে
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ROFL
peterslover posted বছরখানেক আগে
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হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ
BlindBandit92 posted বছরখানেক আগে
Tamar20 said:
Eh I don't know if it's the best joke but it's what I have right now. :/
Best friends.. আপনি fight, I fight. আপনি hurt, I hurt. আপনি cry, I cry. আপনি jump off a bridge; I get in a paddle নৌকা and save your stupid ass.
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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XD
pumpkinqueen posted বছরখানেক আগে
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Oh my god, thats funny and true at the exact same time
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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i heard that one but the ending was different it ব্যক্ত if আপনি jump off a cliff i will laugh my a** off
Outsidersfan123 posted বছরখানেক আগে
adultswimperson said:
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor had to call in the bomb squad.
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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Could আপনি post one, please?
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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@kndluva, I changed my answer.
adultswimperson posted বছরখানেক আগে
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@United86, Ok.
adultswimperson posted বছরখানেক আগে
Princesskiara15 said:
why was the dog sweaty???
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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Why?
TDIFan960 posted বছরখানেক আগে
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Was it because he was a Hot Dog?
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ
Tamar20 posted বছরখানেক আগে
Insane4ever said:
A ভালুক and a rabbit are shiting in some bushes and the ভালুক asks the rabbit "do আপনি have problems with crap sticking to your fur,and the rabbit উত্তর "no i dont" so the ভালুক whipes his গাধা with the rabitt
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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XD
Tamar20 posted বছরখানেক আগে
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LMFAO That's oh so sad.
E_M_LoVeRFaN posted বছরখানেক আগে
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হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
E_M_LoVeRFaN said:
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One দিন the husband comes প্রথমপাতা from work and his wife says, "Honey, আপনি know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could আপনি fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes প্রথমপাতা from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could আপনি change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can আপনি please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The পরবর্তি দিন the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He ব্যক্ত he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake অথবা slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did আপনি make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

OR

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a বিয়ার bottle and bangs the gator on the শীর্ষ of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but আপনি have to promise not to hit me on the head with the বিয়ার bottle."
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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:P FUNNY.
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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Thanks xD I like them too.
E_M_LoVeRFaN posted বছরখানেক আগে
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XD
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
Outsidersfan123 said:
I don't know if this can be counted as one

Teacher to student:why are আপনি talking in the middle of my lesson.

Student to teacher: why are আপনি talking in the middle of my conversation
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posted বছরখানেক আগে 
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XD
kndluva posted বছরখানেক আগে
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