-when আপনি ask someone for something and they try to annoy আপনি because they have it and আপনি don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give আপনি work আপনি have to do at প্রথমপাতা and আপনি have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your বন্ধু call saying they'll come over and never প্রদর্শনী up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own প্রথমপাতা and being controlled দ্বারা your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if আপনি make one "dirty" অথবা "wrong" joke

-overprotective...

Katniss:

Peeta and I had just won the Hunger Games. A televised fight to the death. My sister, Prim, had been picked to be in the Games, so I took her place. Now I was at প্রথমপাতা with her and my mother. Peeta was living in a house near me. We had pretended to be in প্রণয় for the Games so we would both win. I don’t really প্রণয় him, but I think that he really does প্রণয় me. Well, now everything is normal. Prim, my mother, Peeta, and I are fine. Everything is different, though. I had been so used to living in the Seam, that all of these luxuries from winning the Games seem abnormal and unusual to...

ATTENTION PEOPLES OF HOGWARTS AND BEAUBATONS AND DURMSTRANG AND PIGFARTS AND ALL আপনি MUGGLES INBETWEEN! I AM CHANGING THE STORY LINE PLOT THINGY FROM AL QUEDA ATTACKING AMERICA TO A WIZARDS BATTLE! PLEASE STILL ENJOY THE ORIGINAL AND TAKE CARE! I WILL POST THE NEW VERSION SOON!


This is a যেভাবে খুশী book I was লেখা about Al Queda attacking America, and I got the idea from my friend, who had a nightmare, and ব্যক্ত I could write a book অথবা something. This is the first chapter, so I'd প্রণয় it if আপনি could post your thoughts about it, anything I could change, things আপনি liked, things that didn't make...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President অথবা Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a বছর plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

The ভদকা Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage বিতর্ক Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status নবীকৃত তথ্য Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...

I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether অথবা not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, সেকেন্ড of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...

1. Take someone's shopping কার্ট and switch the items with stuff from the person পরবর্তি to them's কার্ট
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen আপনি in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of আপনি on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. সরানো "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....

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When আপনি are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When আপনি are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When আপনি are dating..... He takes আপনি out to have a good time.
When আপনি are married ....He brings প্রথমপাতা a 6 pack, and says "What are আপনি going to drink?"

When আপনি are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When আপনি are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When আপনি are dating..... A Single বিছানা for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When আপনি are married ....A King size বিছানা feels like an army cot.

When আপনি are dating..... আপনি are turned on at the sight of him naked....