My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome বন্ধু and life I wanted to keep.
To the friends, I call my family,
দ্বারা the time আপনি read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.
A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.
It is too late for me now, and I know it.
Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.
But I feel it, so that's something, right?
I have been dead for a while now, though আপনি may not have noticed.
I died the night I couldn't প্রণয় you, my love.
I loved আপনি with everything.
My heart, my body and soul.
I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.
At least you're happy.
I went numb, and ceased to feel.
Ceased to be.
That was when I first cut.
I just needed to feel something.
After a while it wasn't enough.
I thought if I cut deeper and spilled আরো of my blood I would at least make me feel alive.
It worked for a while, but in the end it just left me hollower than before.
I tried to keep it together, for my family, but আপনি know something?
আপনি don't need me any more.
None of আপনি do.
I just cause আপনি আরো pain and suffering than I'm worth.
Because I lied.
I am not Raven.
I am nothing without you.
আপনি don't need me.
None of আপনি do.
How can I take care of a family when I can't take care of myself?
I used to be able to, before this all started.
I just can't remember how anymore.
I sit here and remember the fight we had.
আপনি told me to leave and the words আপনি used cut me আরো than any blade ever did.
I am going now.
I feel so tired, my vision is becoming blurred, and I know I must go soon, but wait.
There is some wisdom I still need to depart on you.
The last order I shall give আপনি is the one to do what আপনি want.
I was only trying to protect আপনি all.
I am sorry.
I won't do it again.
I was a bad leader.
I know it.
So, do what আপনি want, and maybe you'll see why I was the way I was.
Whitney, my baby.
Go off make the world better...
Go be yourself, and be happy.
Go make me proud.
Twan, my brother.
Go be the person আপনি want to be.
Go blow up things.
Go give away your life.
Go and accidentally kill yourself অথবা someone আপনি প্রণয় and see how it feels to be a murder.
Like I am.
Ducky, my little sister.
Go draw attention to yourself.
Go tell every stranger আপনি meet that আপনি are happy, and heck, hug them.
Go get laughed at, screamed at, go get called a freak.
Go be happy about being a freak, my freak.
People don't like things that are different.
I learned that the hard way, and tried to shield আপনি from it, but maybe I was wrong to do so.
Fang, damn it I প্রণয় you.
Go be the person who other people depend on for every little thing.
Mel, my freaking OC, and mother figure.
I want someone to hold me.
I want my sissy to hold me.
I want Fang to hold me.
I want my brother to hold me
I want my Mom to hold me.
Then you'll really be alone like আপনি always wanted to be, and whose fault will it be? Not mine, that's for sure.
That's why I'm leaving.
I want out.
I can't take it anymore.
I need a break.
I need to be free.
I loved আপনি guys all with all my heart.
I hope you're happy together.
All I can say is that I tried.
It was too hard.
My little sister,
My crazy mother figure,
And my best friend, my imaginary right-hand-man, the only person I ever truly loved, Fang.
I wish I could see your faces one আরো time, but it's too late for me.
The darkness is creeping in around me.
Don't cry for me, I was already dead.
I just need আপনি to know that everything I did, I did for you.
All of you.
আপনি can't catch me this time...
You can't save me...
But আপনি can let me go....