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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my তালিকা of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let আপনি know now i got alot of these from the ইউটিউব channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything অথবা eating anything আপনি might spit it অথবা something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the ঝাড়ু late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the উপসাগর they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's পছন্দ vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the মাশরুম have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do আপনি call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do আপনি call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do আপনি make an octopus giggle ten times?
আপনি give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do আপনি make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's পছন্দ composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between আপনি and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't আপনি hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher ব্যক্ত it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the টমেটো blush?
It saw the সালাদ dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do আপনি know if it's raining মার্জার and dogs?
আপনি step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do আপনি know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do আপনি get পিকাচু on a bus?
আপনি পোকেমন (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't আপনি dress with পিকাচু in the room?
He'll পিকাচু (peek at you)

#27 What do আপনি call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
আপনি boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton ক্রুশ the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do আপনি call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's পরাকাষ্ঠা and fluffy?
পরাকাষ্ঠা fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
পরাকাষ্ঠা fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when আপনি drink 7 coca colas?
আপনি burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the মাছ say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't আপনি trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope আপনি liked them. Make sure আপনি check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
okay, penguins are amazing, so i'm making a তালিকা why everyone should think so too!

10) cuz they are cool (literally), i mean, they live on ice flows
9) flying is overrated anyway
8) dude, they can swim!
7) they waddle
6) they're always dressed for the occasion
5) the guys care for the eggs (awww! devoted daddies)
4) they upchuck their খাবার (and they don't think it's gross)
3) they waddle...oh, i already put that, didn't i?
2) they have a tv show! (the penguins of madagascar)
1) because they are PENGUINS!!!! nuff said
Ok so me and my friend প্রণয় the mall but what makes it আরো fun are the following

-When your হারিয়ে গেছে looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could আপনি please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)

-When আপনি go into a store adress your friend দ্বারা a differnt name and have a weird personality

-if আপনি go into one of those store that plays the সঙ্গীত REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but আপনি and ur friend.

-Have weird conversations about যেভাবে খুশী things. like terrorists অথবা something

Have fun with বন্ধু at the mall!
50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time আপনি turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him অথবা her that you’ve হারিয়ে গেছে your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he অথবা she has anything...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four প্রশ্ন to determine the level of your intellect. Your উত্তর must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating অথবা wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: আপনি are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in সেকেন্ড place.
In which position are আপনি now?

Answer:

If আপনি answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. আপনি overtook the সেকেন্ড runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the পরবর্তি প্রশ্ন try not to be so dumb.

2 : If আপনি overtake the last...
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added by BellaMetallica
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started লেখা it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if আপনি don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest আপনি don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your বন্ধু and either forget all about us অথবা tell a story about the hideous freak আপনি met tonight. আপনি don’t know me, if আপনি did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have বন্ধু - except my brother....
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Hello I'm NOT the nostalgia critic, I remembered it so আপনি don't have to. I've been watching NC's biggest dumba** in distress video and I thought I'd do one. Except for me it's only going to be characters that are animated and it's not only going to be female characters, there are some male characters here too. With other characters I can find at least some aspect of heroics in them except for these characters. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and I don't hate all of these characters. Please comments, enjoy.

10.Esmeralda(The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

I promise I'm not being...
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When you're happy and আপনি know it bomb Iraq
If আপনি cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If আপনি never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If আপনি think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb...
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added by Tyler47
added by KataraLover
added by ace2000
added by ace2000
added by shaneoohmac13
added by CheetahGirl5147
added by Zeppie
added by slenderman777
Source: NO ONE