How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While আপনি Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that আপনি have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that আপনি really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, অথবা just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless আপনি make something for the sake of প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually আরো to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any অনুরাগী of rock সঙ্গীত from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to প্রদর্শনী it to আপনি all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made দ্বারা the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the আরো meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A দিন in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and বিভক্ত করা into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on নিন্টেডো games, the most সাম্প্রতিক one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird জাপান only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in ইউরোপ for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in জাপান on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, আপনি were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And দ্বারা the end, I hope, আপনি will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. আপনি play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the হৃদয় to চুম্বন her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls হৃদয় দ্বারা gaining confidence দ্বারা স্নেহ চুম্বন other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, স্কুলের diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the সেকেন্ড I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I প্রণয় this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for খাবার is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s আরো strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when আপনি go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a আরো charming demeanor. I wish আরো games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby শিয়াল really was inspired দ্বারা Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, দ্বারা the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so আপনি gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). আপনি have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, অথবা seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a দিন of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight প্রথমপাতা robotically every দিন (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done দ্বারা the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the সঙ্গীত is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I প্রণয় hearing the সঙ্গীত of the town drown out when আপনি go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as আপনি can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the সঙ্গীত fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, সারমেয় barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while আপনি sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train প্রথমপাতা with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and স্নেহ চুম্বন them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the ছবি album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange নকশা they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about স্নেহ চুম্বন people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if আপনি game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if আপনি are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get আপনি killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills আপনি at a low level. Ride the slide? আপনি trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? আপনি jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net আপনি shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item আপনি carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes আপনি need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes আপনি can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell আপনি that. At the factory, আপনি can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell আপনি that, so আপনি could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless আপনি দ্বারা chance start pushing buttons and learn, অথবা just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, আপনি live, অথবা আপনি die, but আপনি reload your save, আপনি learn, আপনি go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit দ্বারা lightning when আপনি solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck আপনি for that one game. So yeah, আপনি better be স্নেহ চুম্বন people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I প্রণয় these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a সঙ্গীত box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a মাকড়সা with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to প্রণয় most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her হারিয়ে গেছে গান গাওয়া career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes প্রথমপাতা to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my পছন্দ is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when আপনি get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town দ্বারা two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until আপনি আগুন him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the আরো depression, আরো serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because আপনি live in poverty দ্বারা police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make আপনি glad, and this game can make আপনি sad. But this game can also make আপনি really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been গান গাওয়া this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic গাধা puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If আপনি play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. আপনি don’t have to get every kiss. আপনি can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when আপনি can চুম্বন them, it’s randomized. আপনি can’t just go to their spot at night and চুম্বন them, of course not. আপনি gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. বেগুন Boy wants আপনি to eat an বেগুন in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants আপনি to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants আপনি to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want আপনি to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to চুম্বন them. And it could be যেভাবে খুশী when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into আপনি and knock আপনি down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If আপনি চুম্বন them before the moment, they will hit আপনি and it may even kill you. Regardless, if আপনি wait too long, they will leave and আপনি have no chance of getting them until আপনি either reload your save, অথবা go do something else অথবা sleep অথবা read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I প্রণয় time management games. Some of my পছন্দ games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours পাঠ করা a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I ব্যক্ত we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the প্রণয় letter set needed to beat the game, আপনি gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks আপনি দ্বারা making আপনি a manager card to come in and look around. আপনি ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right অথবা get hurt and risk death. But I assume আপনি survived. So আপনি have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code আপনি got from the old manager into the tram numbers and আপনি will open the নিরাপদ on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give আপনি hints and it has a funny pay off. And আপনি complete your goal. Not bad… But if আপনি want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So আপনি get to Funny Bone Factory and start পাঠ করা your book at the train station. আপনি arrived after every other worker was going in, so আপনি can’t go in. No, আপনি can’t go in at any point. আপনি go in while everyone else is going in, অথবা you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after আপনি wait, and I’ll assume আপনি kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So আপনি save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and আপনি get to go in. আপনি do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and আপনি have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his চুম্বন later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. আপনি can NOT go to these areas how আপনি want. আপনি have to go to them on a set order at a set time. আপনি leave when the game says আপনি can leave. Batayan is in the সেকেন্ড of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. আপনি have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, আপনি don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, আপনি have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, দ্বারা some miracle, আপনি get the security guard to be in the fourth area. আপনি hide and wait for night and now আপনি have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. আপনি need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send আপনি there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is যেভাবে খুশী when he will be kissable, and can knock into আপনি and waste time. After that, there’s one in the সেকেন্ড area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if আপনি aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants আপনি to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the সেকেন্ড area to চুম্বন one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just প্রদর্শনী up then fuck off without giving আপনি a chance. Then আপনি gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then আপনি can চুম্বন him. After that, আপনি gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean আপনি can explore the factory on your own অথবা at night. If আপনি miss one, আপনি gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to চুম্বন them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were আপনি even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to চুম্বন one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste আরো of my time just to চুম্বন them. But when the game isn’t frustrating আপনি with giving it to আপনি straight but not actually letting আপনি have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a চুম্বন from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as আপনি চুম্বন certain people, they may drop for আপনি an Alien Dictionary, which allows আপনি to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help আপনি figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant সঙ্গীত box… um, okay… And then after that, আপনি have to go and find the right notes to the সঙ্গীত box. But the game doesn’t tell আপনি that আপনি need to find a set of তারকা Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. আপনি could come to that দ্বারা exploring this part at যেভাবে খুশী and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So আপনি put it there and get the notes. But when আপনি get the notes, আপনি can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can আপনি put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant সঙ্গীত box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, ফুটবল means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of ফুটবল on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no ফুটবল ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got হারিয়ে গেছে in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like আপনি need to চুম্বন this alien to prove আপনি had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give আপনি the piece of the প্রণয় Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if আপনি want to play this game, skip this পরবর্তি paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and আপনি are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s হৃদয় in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts আপনি into some… fucking weird place. আপনি are now having to test your logic of what আপনি learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if আপনি just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for খাবার in her bar, and আপনি have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that প্রণয় her cooking, আপনি pass and can সরানো onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. আপনি meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins আপনি against answering twenty প্রশ্ন about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital অথবা the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if আপনি have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, আপনি can prevail. It all comes down to hoping আপনি can survive the মার্জার onslaught of questions, and attacks if আপনি get them wrong, দ্বারা testing how much আপনি invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the চা she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable আপনি think আপনি are, having someone প্রদর্শনী genuine kindness to you, to help আপনি out just because they want to, and প্রদর্শনী that আপনি care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I প্রণয় this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would প্রণয় to see Chulip get revived as a sort of জাপানি কমিকস মাঙ্গা comic অথবা a cartoon of sorts অথবা something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and নকশা other games later on, including being the producer of the No আরো নায়ক games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if আপনি can help it. And for the প্রণয় of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell আপনি if আপনি should play this game অথবা not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that আপনি really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, অথবা just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless আপনি make something for the sake of প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually আরো to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any অনুরাগী of rock সঙ্গীত from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to প্রদর্শনী it to আপনি all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made দ্বারা the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the আরো meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A দিন in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and বিভক্ত করা into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on নিন্টেডো games, the most সাম্প্রতিক one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird জাপান only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in ইউরোপ for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in জাপান on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, আপনি were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And দ্বারা the end, I hope, আপনি will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. আপনি play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the হৃদয় to চুম্বন her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls হৃদয় দ্বারা gaining confidence দ্বারা স্নেহ চুম্বন other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, স্কুলের diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the সেকেন্ড I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I প্রণয় this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for খাবার is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s আরো strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when আপনি go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a আরো charming demeanor. I wish আরো games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby শিয়াল really was inspired দ্বারা Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, দ্বারা the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so আপনি gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). আপনি have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, অথবা seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a দিন of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight প্রথমপাতা robotically every দিন (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done দ্বারা the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the সঙ্গীত is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I প্রণয় hearing the সঙ্গীত of the town drown out when আপনি go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as আপনি can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the সঙ্গীত fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, সারমেয় barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while আপনি sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train প্রথমপাতা with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and স্নেহ চুম্বন them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the ছবি album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange নকশা they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about স্নেহ চুম্বন people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if আপনি game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if আপনি are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get আপনি killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills আপনি at a low level. Ride the slide? আপনি trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? আপনি jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net আপনি shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item আপনি carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes আপনি need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes আপনি can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell আপনি that. At the factory, আপনি can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell আপনি that, so আপনি could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless আপনি দ্বারা chance start pushing buttons and learn, অথবা just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, আপনি live, অথবা আপনি die, but আপনি reload your save, আপনি learn, আপনি go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit দ্বারা lightning when আপনি solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck আপনি for that one game. So yeah, আপনি better be স্নেহ চুম্বন people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I প্রণয় these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a সঙ্গীত box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a মাকড়সা with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to প্রণয় most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her হারিয়ে গেছে গান গাওয়া career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes প্রথমপাতা to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my পছন্দ is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when আপনি get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town দ্বারা two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until আপনি আগুন him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the আরো depression, আরো serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because আপনি live in poverty দ্বারা police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make আপনি glad, and this game can make আপনি sad. But this game can also make আপনি really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been গান গাওয়া this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic গাধা puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If আপনি play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. আপনি don’t have to get every kiss. আপনি can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when আপনি can চুম্বন them, it’s randomized. আপনি can’t just go to their spot at night and চুম্বন them, of course not. আপনি gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. বেগুন Boy wants আপনি to eat an বেগুন in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants আপনি to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants আপনি to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want আপনি to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to চুম্বন them. And it could be যেভাবে খুশী when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into আপনি and knock আপনি down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If আপনি চুম্বন them before the moment, they will hit আপনি and it may even kill you. Regardless, if আপনি wait too long, they will leave and আপনি have no chance of getting them until আপনি either reload your save, অথবা go do something else অথবা sleep অথবা read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I প্রণয় time management games. Some of my পছন্দ games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours পাঠ করা a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I ব্যক্ত we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the প্রণয় letter set needed to beat the game, আপনি gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks আপনি দ্বারা making আপনি a manager card to come in and look around. আপনি ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right অথবা get hurt and risk death. But I assume আপনি survived. So আপনি have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code আপনি got from the old manager into the tram numbers and আপনি will open the নিরাপদ on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give আপনি hints and it has a funny pay off. And আপনি complete your goal. Not bad… But if আপনি want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So আপনি get to Funny Bone Factory and start পাঠ করা your book at the train station. আপনি arrived after every other worker was going in, so আপনি can’t go in. No, আপনি can’t go in at any point. আপনি go in while everyone else is going in, অথবা you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after আপনি wait, and I’ll assume আপনি kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So আপনি save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and আপনি get to go in. আপনি do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and আপনি have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his চুম্বন later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. আপনি can NOT go to these areas how আপনি want. আপনি have to go to them on a set order at a set time. আপনি leave when the game says আপনি can leave. Batayan is in the সেকেন্ড of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. আপনি have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, আপনি don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, আপনি have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, দ্বারা some miracle, আপনি get the security guard to be in the fourth area. আপনি hide and wait for night and now আপনি have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. আপনি need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send আপনি there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is যেভাবে খুশী when he will be kissable, and can knock into আপনি and waste time. After that, there’s one in the সেকেন্ড area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if আপনি aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants আপনি to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the সেকেন্ড area to চুম্বন one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just প্রদর্শনী up then fuck off without giving আপনি a chance. Then আপনি gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then আপনি can চুম্বন him. After that, আপনি gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean আপনি can explore the factory on your own অথবা at night. If আপনি miss one, আপনি gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to চুম্বন them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were আপনি even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to চুম্বন one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste আরো of my time just to চুম্বন them. But when the game isn’t frustrating আপনি with giving it to আপনি straight but not actually letting আপনি have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a চুম্বন from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as আপনি চুম্বন certain people, they may drop for আপনি an Alien Dictionary, which allows আপনি to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help আপনি figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant সঙ্গীত box… um, okay… And then after that, আপনি have to go and find the right notes to the সঙ্গীত box. But the game doesn’t tell আপনি that আপনি need to find a set of তারকা Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. আপনি could come to that দ্বারা exploring this part at যেভাবে খুশী and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So আপনি put it there and get the notes. But when আপনি get the notes, আপনি can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can আপনি put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant সঙ্গীত box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, ফুটবল means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of ফুটবল on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no ফুটবল ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got হারিয়ে গেছে in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like আপনি need to চুম্বন this alien to prove আপনি had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give আপনি the piece of the প্রণয় Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if আপনি want to play this game, skip this পরবর্তি paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and আপনি are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s হৃদয় in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts আপনি into some… fucking weird place. আপনি are now having to test your logic of what আপনি learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if আপনি just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for খাবার in her bar, and আপনি have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that প্রণয় her cooking, আপনি pass and can সরানো onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. আপনি meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins আপনি against answering twenty প্রশ্ন about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital অথবা the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if আপনি have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, আপনি can prevail. It all comes down to hoping আপনি can survive the মার্জার onslaught of questions, and attacks if আপনি get them wrong, দ্বারা testing how much আপনি invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the চা she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable আপনি think আপনি are, having someone প্রদর্শনী genuine kindness to you, to help আপনি out just because they want to, and প্রদর্শনী that আপনি care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I প্রণয় this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would প্রণয় to see Chulip get revived as a sort of জাপানি কমিকস মাঙ্গা comic অথবা a cartoon of sorts অথবা something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and নকশা other games later on, including being the producer of the No আরো নায়ক games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if আপনি can help it. And for the প্রণয় of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell আপনি if আপনি should play this game অথবা not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
pproaching Shocker, the infernal army.
The black shadow aims for us,
Protecting the peace of the world.
Go! (x2) Let's Go! The Shining Machine
Rider Jump! Rider Kick!
Masked Rider (x2)
Rider (x2)
Approaching Shocker, the demonic army.
The black shadow aims for our friends,
Protecting the peace of the world.
Go! (x2) Let's Go! The Crimson Muffler
Rider Jump! Rider Kick!
Masked Rider (x2)
Rider (x2)
Approaching Shocker, the terrifying army.
The black shadow aims for our town,
Protecting the peace of the world.
Go! (x2) Let's Go! The Green-colored Helmet
Rider Jump! Rider Kick!
Masked Rider (x2)
Rider (x2)
The black shadow aims for us,
Protecting the peace of the world.
Go! (x2) Let's Go! The Shining Machine
Rider Jump! Rider Kick!
Masked Rider (x2)
Rider (x2)
Approaching Shocker, the demonic army.
The black shadow aims for our friends,
Protecting the peace of the world.
Go! (x2) Let's Go! The Crimson Muffler
Rider Jump! Rider Kick!
Masked Rider (x2)
Rider (x2)
Approaching Shocker, the terrifying army.
The black shadow aims for our town,
Protecting the peace of the world.
Go! (x2) Let's Go! The Green-colored Helmet
Rider Jump! Rider Kick!
Masked Rider (x2)
Rider (x2)