This is what i would say to my jacob, if i can even say he is mine.


How do i even start off, do i start off saying that i dont know how to start off,or do i pour my হৃদয় out,that first word, i dont know anymore..Because with you, nothing is the way it seems, অথবা the way it was before. Everything changes even the way im supposed to write this, you've confused me.
OK,, i think is this part where i pour my হৃদয় out right?? if not. im going to sound.. odd. but who cares now? not you. আপনি wont even read this my love.
ok here i go, keep me from falling.
I meet আপনি on a saturday, on the first saturday of Harry Potter 6's release, that was where met. I had my friend Natalie with me for support, sadly she was confronted with her ex boyfriend sitted in front of us and she was upset.
But আপনি cheered her up and protected her.
আপনি had blonde hair. In small tight curls. And i cant even describe your face anymore, i dont know wheithter it because i have forgotten অথবা my হৃদয় doesnt want me too.
Two weeks into our reletionship, i knew i loved আপনি already, i was 14, আপনি were 16. And আপনি entered me, it hurt. It was july 31st 2009, in which we made the act that separated us, but we diddnt know it. But i have to admitt, i wouldnt take back what we did, i wouldn't take back আপনি অথবা my heartbreak, because no matter what that sitaution made me feel, it was about you.
I remember আপনি holding right, and treating me right, give up things because it made uncomtorable. আপনি gave up smoking, for me.
আপনি sent me the most beautiful ফুলেরডালি in the world, i still have one perfect rose.
আপনি were perfect, আপনি stuck up for me, আপনি did everything for me, আপনি carried on even when it hurt you, আপনি put up with all my shit but most of all, আপনি loved me right.
I loved your calls at 10 pm and ended at 12.
I loved how আপনি centered me in everything আপনি did. And i will always প্রণয় আপনি for that.
how am i going so far?? Funny how i've written soo much and thats not even a slight bit of what i have inside me for you.
I thought i was pregnant at the age 14. আপনি were so scared, but not for yourself, আপনি thought that it was going tio REUNINE my life...
I told my mum, who told my dad who told me i can never see আপনি again.
i cried for months. i tryied to kill myself, i dont know how many times.

i think i might stop now... im starting to feel sick and i feel like a toser,,,
i bet people will think im wierd,,, which i am, i think...

i প্রণয় আপনি jacob....come back for me.