i didn't write this
1 - Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2 - If আপনি had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3 - There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4 - People who want to share their religious মতামত with আপনি almost never want আপনি to share yours with them.
5 - আপনি should not confuse your career with your life.
6 - Nobody cares if আপনি can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7 - Never lick a মাংসের ফালি knife.
8 - The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9 - আপনি will never find anybody who can give আপনি a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10 - আপনি should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that আপনি think she's pregnant unless আপনি can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11 - There comes a time when আপনি should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12 - The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status অথবা ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13 - A person who is nice to আপনি but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14 - Your বন্ধু প্রণয় আপনি anyway.
15 - Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16 - Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the c*** (not the best) out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have ডিনার with.
17 - A husband will never get the last word in an argument, due to the fact that anything he says is actually the start of an entirely new argument!
18 - Phrases to live দ্বারা "Please, Thank you, and YES DEAR!"
19 - I believe in equality and women's lib......but instead of changing postman to post person, how about tackling........menstruation, mental illness, menopause, etc......it seems to me that we are picking only the nice ones to change!