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posted by simpleplan
4
There are many words i could use to describe how I feel about আপনি right now. None of them are nice

To know me is to প্রণয় me, to hurt me is to dig your own grave.

I want a tazer =)

Has gone to play in traffic.

Is breathing oxygen

I don't have anger issues...You have acceptance issues.

আপনি can যন্ত্রপত্র your complaints to gofuckyourself@idontgiveashit.com

Is wondering if people are two-faced, does that mean আপনি get to slap them twice?

Has new boxing gloves and a nasty temper, fancy your chances???

I like it when people give me a reason to nurture my dark side

SMOKING SAVES LIVES ... It stops me strangling the kids on a daily basis

Ever feel like stapling someones ear to their ডেস্ক and slam a sticky note on their head that says "Help me, my ear is stuck to the table"?

Lead me not into temptation... I have a damn good idea where to find it all ready!

If you're looking for the perfect woman, আপনি have two options. Mother Teresa, অথবা Barbie... One of them is dead, sorry to hear আপনি play with dolls.

Live like আপনি were dying tomorrow, because if আপনি keep annoying me, আপনি might

Just a little case of mood poisoning... Must be something I hate.

When all else fails, grab a shovel and bury the bitch

Be the kind of women who gets up in the morning, puts her feet on the floor and makes the devil scream "OH NO!! THE দুশ্চরিত্রা IS AWAKE!!"

I DID NOT TRIP! The floor just looked like it REALLY needed a hug

Has a firm grip on reality *~* and is slowly CHOKING THE CRAP OUT OF IT!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband
posted by BellaCullen96
4
Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have আপনি ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man পরবর্তি to me!
I puked on the last person who flew পরবর্তি to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would আপনি look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....
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আপনি know what I hate? When আপনি hold the door open for some যেভাবে খুশী fucker you've never even met in your life and they just walk on দ্বারা without saying thank আপনি অথবা even acknowledging your god damn presence. Why this irks me so much I dunno. But it just does.

It's kinda like, well, this is what I always wanna say to them but don't:

Um, excuse me, who the hell do আপনি think আপনি are? Do আপনি not see me opening this door for you, wasting সেকেন্ড of my life for some যেভাবে খুশী dude I've never ever met? It's not gonna kill আপনি to say thanks, it's not gonna shorten your life দ্বারা even a jiffy and yes that's an...
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GET READY TO GET ANNOYED...ALL METHODS FOOL PROOFED দ্বারা YOURS TRULY!! :)
ANNOYING THINGS 2 DO UR FRNDS!
1. Keep poking them until they scream in annoyance
2. Pull an Annoying কমলা on them. Keep saying, "Hey,(insert name) (insert name)," as long as আপনি want. Really effective!
3. Keep shouting swear words randomly. Like shout out, "Shit!" when they're eating পিজা অথবা something. :)
4. Sneeze, HARD, whenever they're around. Continue again and again and again and again and again!
5. Keep repeating, "What? What? What?" whenever they ask a question.
6. Keep calling them ELEGANT names, like if you're friend...
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1.    “I came all the way to school before I realized I still had my pyjamas on, and had to go প্রথমপাতা and change”

2.    “When I got here my teacher wasn’t in the classroom so I went out looking for him/her”

3.    “I was abducted দ্বারা aliens for experimental purposes. I have been gone for 50 years, but fortunately in Earth time it was only (insert how late আপনি are here)”

4.    “I invented a time machine that took me অগ্রবর্তী to my exam results. I saw that I got straight A’s, so I thought I might as well...
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posted by CatAlicerox14
1
1. find cereal boxes with prizes in them and open the box and stuff the toys in your pockets and hand bag অথবা what ever আপনি can stuff.if caught simply say "these have been recalled as kids are prone to sneezing"
2. Follow the stock person in the vegtables and ফলমূল aisles and ask every মিনিট "watcha doing?"
3. Ask the stock person as he put one item in "is that ripe? অথবা rotten?"
4.if they have a toy aisle open toys (no matter what age আপনি are) and play with them (if squirt gun go to bathroom and fill it up with water and squirt people)
5.go inside the bathroom and sing everytime someone comes in....
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added by SummerThunder
Source: Martz90
Ghetto Names

Mostly জনপ্রিয় with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming আরো common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us দ্বারা our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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added by applejackrocks1
posted by karpach_14
2
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone আপনি love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard অথবা hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as আপনি open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 মিনিট অথবা so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring অথবা your nails on the blackboard পরবর্তি time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. পরবর্তি সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান আপনি go to, yell out "Mmmbop!"...
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added by PsychoTeddy
Source: মহাকাশ Trip দেওয়ালপত্র
added by ace2000
Source: Somebody Else.
added by ace2000
added by shaneoohmac13
added by BlindBandit92
added by BlindBandit92
দ্বারা request; the male version of my শীর্ষ villain list. As it would turn out, I do in fact also প্রণয় me a good male antagonist. I know, shocking right?

Honorable Mention: Kronk (Emperor's New Groove). This guy is freaking hilarious. I can't not like him. He and Yzma made the entire movie worth watching!
That whole "Right the poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen specifically for Kuzco. Kuzco's poison" quote killed me! Best quote ever.

10. The Joker (Batman): Once again, not gonna lie, I don't watch much Batman. I'm not big on superheros. But I am intrigued দ্বারা the Joker. He's like the...
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posted by Bvb_Sws_TH_BMTH
5
 শিরোনাম Page
Title Page
The kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in a mansion of wood and stone. বিভক্ত করা a piece of wood and God is there. Lift a stone and আপনি will find God.

‘Angel অথবা beast along with powerful forces. The Wild Ones appear,’ a young girl named Eve Black wrote in her notebook. She continued for awhile, finishing with ‘an army large enough to destroy the mass of the matriarch.
Her journal was full of a story she had been লেখা about The Wild Ones and The Legion of the Black. She hurried to school. She waved to a few বন্ধু and went to her first class- history. She sat down and...
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rofl i would have be scared to..xD
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added by i_luv_angst
7
Now this kid knows the meaning of random!
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funny
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