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"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."


"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."


"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."


"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."


"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a বৃক্ষ and misplaced his hip."


"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."


"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."


"Megan could not come to...
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posted by britishboy
5
During the summer it is so easy to say, "I have nothing to do!" No আরো excuses-here is a তালিকা of 50 things to do the পরবর্তি time আপনি are bored!
1. Gather up a few friends, and have a picnic in your back .
2. Go on a walk and take pictures of trees, flowers, dogs, etc.
3. Buy some fashion magazines, pick out a couple of really cute outfits, and try to recreate them for less!
4. Bead some bracelets and sell them for charity.
5. Volunteer at the local animal অথবা homeless shelter.
6. Clean your room!
7. Bake some কাপকেক and deliver them to বন্ধু and family.
8. Play some childhood games like "Sorry",...
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I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping কার্ট and switch the items with stuff from the person পরবর্তি to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen আপনি in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of আপনি on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation দ্বারা saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall অথবা any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way আপনি laugh as আপনি wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt অথবা Uncle. If আপনি dare, hug them.
5. While passing a যেভাবে খুশী stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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posted by slytherin360
208
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten মিনিট intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people আপনি can get to যোগদান in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department দ্বারা sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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This was definitely the most difficult তালিকা I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. আপনি can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the শীর্ষ 10 and just listing the other women and প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for আপনি guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope আপনি enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to মতামত and I can't wait to hear what...
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posted by vampirer04
2
 Woozworld Jane and Jeff The Killer
Woozworld Jane and Jeff The Killer
A/N This was suggested দ্বারা a friend. Because I was লেখা this thing one দিন and she loved it. So when I was on this site she suggested me to do this fanfiction yea, And also whoever plays woozworld should look on my woozin for the Jane and Jeff stuff XP.
********************************************************

{Jane's POV}

I look at the school name. 'Creepypasta high' well I bet this is gonna be interesting.

I walk in ক্রিপিপাস্তা high seeing every ক্রিপিপাস্তা there is.

"Hey Jane!" called out sonic.exe.

"Hi Sonic! How many people did আপনি scare during the summer?" I ask.

"A lot!" We both laughed....
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posted by akatsuki_lover9
Ways to Annoy:
1.say a যেভাবে খুশী word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a খাবার they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy পরবর্তি to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as আপনি can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the রান্নাঘর and come out with ketchup all over আপনি and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
9
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope আপনি like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when আপনি heard someone talking on the intercom, আপনি fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give আপনি a ride প্রথমপাতা and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a মাশরুম and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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1.people excpect আপনি to be good all the time and stay the same

2.Your বন্ধু get jelious when আপনি hang with other people.


3.more people then আপনি think hate আপনি and think your stuck up.


4.If your a mean জনপ্রিয় person people might ditch you.


5.People talk about আপনি behind your back because your selfish and think your the best thing in the world.


6.The teachers know not to put আপনি with your বন্ধু because আপনি talk to much.


7.You hang out with alot of people but আরো then 90% of them are just hanging out with আপনি because your popular.


8.If your a জনপ্রিয় girl and আপনি have had afew boyfriends some people will start calling আপনি a slut.



9.If your a জনপ্রিয় boy and আপনি have had afew gilfriends people will think your a player.



10.if আপনি had a good friend and then আপনি became জনপ্রিয় they might stop hanging out with আপনি because they think there not good enough.
posted by টারমার২০
15
The Fucking Disclaimer
If আপনি are offended দ্বারা the use of bad language fuck off now! Don't read all of this page and then say it annoys you.
Uses of the word Fuck
FUCK is an international word. It doesn't matter where আপনি are in the world, everyone knows exactly what আপনি mean when আপনি say "Fuck Off".
It's the atmosphere it creates, that's why আপনি will never read something like:
"Fuck off", he hinted.
Grammatical Usage
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories, making it one of the most versatile words in the English language.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Jane)...
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This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare



The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The আরো he gives to others, the আরো he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu

Nothing is softer অথবা আরো flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.
- Lao Tzu

Silence is a উৎস of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is whatever আপনি ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

The cave you...
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Ok so me and my friend প্রণয় the mall but what makes it আরো fun are the following

-When your হারিয়ে গেছে looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could আপনি please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)

-When আপনি go into a store adress your friend দ্বারা a differnt name and have a weird personality

-if আপনি go into one of those store that plays the সঙ্গীত REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but আপনি and ur friend.

-Have weird conversations about যেভাবে খুশী things. like terrorists অথবা something

Have fun with বন্ধু at the mall!
1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would আপনি mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs আপনি and takes a little something off আপনি would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are আপনি sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If আপনি say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all আপনি want, not like I care if আপনি are অথবা aren't...As long as আপনি don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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not দ্বারা me n thnx for readinnnnnnnnnn........♥♥

ll around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it's accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot অথবা putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast খাবার restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own "walk."

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

Both...
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posted by ilovepenguins
4
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When আপনি arrive at the পরবর্তি stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If আপনি are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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The List

1. Throw ভুট্টার খই in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can আপনি fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
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6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling ভুট্টার খই that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get ভুট্টার খই yell, “I’m...
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I'm bored, so I thought I'd share with আপনি a few websites online that আপনি can নকশা characters! আপনি all probably have either created characters, like for fanfictions, stories, অথবা just in your mind, and here are some websites where আপনি can নকশা their appearance! অথবা আপনি could always make yourself and use it as a snazzy avatar/profile pic, অথবা make characters from books/movies/etc. that already exist! There are tons of websites out there, these are just a few.
link
This website is দ্বারা far the best superhero generator I've found. Basically আপনি use it to make your dream superhero!!! (I use it to...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
10
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him আপনি met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do আপনি listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him দ্বারা his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your পছন্দ guy[If আপনি hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson অথবা some who আপনি like ALLOT!]

9. Come প্রথমপাতা saying আপনি found your true...
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I found this online :)

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read প্রশ্ন aloud, বিতর্ক your উত্তর with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that আপনি can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this প্রশ্ন on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious...
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