for my friend on WHIRLED

Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make প্রণয় with আপনি
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until আপনি find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit আপনি first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of আপনি shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give আপনি a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...

Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that আপনি "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that আপনি haven't received enough চকোলেট sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every প্রশ্ন with another question. As soon as one of আপনি says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...