The House of Anubis That Time Of Month.

LillySnuggles posted on Apr 23, 2012 at 06:55PM
The last chapter is finally up.-w- oh my gosh i've been so busy.=w= I didn't have time to write for a while.Anyway's now that it's up I need a new story idea now.Anyone have any idea's for me?i'd love to hear them. C:

Chapter one:Peddie.


Eddie opened his eyes as he woke up from a long night's
sleep.

He got up, got dressed and went to get something to eat.

As he walked into the kitchen he noticed his girlfriend wasn't there.

"Where's Patricia?" Eddie asked Nina who was sitting at the table eating.

"She's in her room, I wouldn't talk to her right now though "Nina said.

"Why not?"Eddie asked.

"Oh you know, just not a good time "Nina said as she stood up.

"Well I'm going to see Fabian" Nina said as she walked out of the kitchen.

Eddie rolled his eye's as he left the kitchen and walked upstairs to Patricia's room.

When Eddie opened the door he saw Patricia laying in bed reading a book.

"Hey slimeball"Patricia snapped.

"Hey I'm just here to see if my yacker is okay "Eddie said as he walked over to Patricia's bed.

"Well I'm not okay"Patricia snapped.

"Whats wrong?"Eddie asked.

"I've got my period, and im in great pain"Patricia snapped.

"Let me help you"Eddie said.

"You cant help"Patricia snapped.

"Well maybe if you let me try to help you, the pain would go away"Eddie said.

"Fine" Patricia snapped.

Eddie smiled as he layed down beside Patricia, and put his arms around her.

Patricia sighed as she moved closer to Eddie.

"Feel better?"Eddie asked.

"A litte"Patricia snapped as she snuggled into Eddie somemore.

"Your so snappy my dear yacker"Eddie said.

Patricia glared at Eddie and slaped his face.

"Hey now no need to hit me" Eddie said as he grabed Patricia to calm her down.

"GET OFF OF ME SLIMEBALL"Patricia yelled.

Eddie smirked as he grabed Patricia and held her.

"LET ME GO"Patricia yelled.

"calm down yacker, and let me make you feel better"Eddie said.

"Whatever"Patricia snapped as she layed in Eddie's arm's.

"I'm hungry go get me some food"Patricia snapped.

"Alright I'll be back soon"Eddie said as he got up and left the room.

Eddie went down to the kitchen when he walked in he looked around for some food,

until he came across some pizza eddie smiled,

as he put two peaces on a plate and went back to Patricia's room.

"I'm back Yacker"Eddie said as he walked into the room.

Patricia sat up as Eddie came over to her and handed her the food.

"Thanks slimeball"Patricia snapped as she ate the pizza.

"Here take the plate i'm done eating"Patricia snapped as she handed Eddie the plate.

Eddie rolled his eyes as he took the plate, and put it on Patricia's night stand.

"Hand me my book"Patricia snapped.

Eddie picked up the book from the night stand and handed it to Patricia.

"What book is that anyway?"Eddie asked.

"Harry Potter"Patricia snapped.

"That book is lame"Eddie said.

Patricia glared at Eddie and threw the book at him.

"HEY YOU ALMOST HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH THAT"Eddie yelled.

"YOU DESERVE TO BE HIT IN THE FACE, AFTER SAYING YOU WERE GONNA HELP ME FEEL BETTER,

THEN YOU CALL MY BOOK LAME?"Patricia yelled.

Eddie stood in shock,he never knew Patricia could get so mad.

Patricia glared at Eddie then layed back down.

"I'm sorry yacker"Eddie said as he walked over to Patricia's bed.

"Sure you are"Patricia snapped.

Eddie layed down beside Patricia and sighed.

"You know I never knew you could get so mad Yacker"Eddie said.

"I can be worse"Patricia snapped.

"I hope I dont ever see you worse then you already were"Eddie laughed.

"You scared weasel?"Patricia laughed.

"Never"Eddie said as he pulled Patricia close to him.

Chapter two:Fabina

Fabian opened his eye's and yawned he got up and smiled.

Everyone in Anubis house was going into town today.Fabian got dressed and went into the kitchen.

"Hey Fabian" Eddie said as Fabian walked into the room.

"Hey Eddie "Where is everyone?"Fabian asked.

"Everyone else is getting ready to go into town"Eddie said.

Just then, the rest of the Anubis house student except for Nina walked into the room.

"Hey where's Nina?"Fabian asked.

"Shes not feeling well today so shes staying home"Amber said.

"Is she sick or something?"Fabian asked.

"Oh, you know, its just that time of month"Amber said.

"Well i'm going to stay here and take care of her then"Fabian said.

"Have fun Fabian. When it was her time last month of she got so mad at me she threw a book at my face"Eddie laughed.

"Hey you weren't supposed to tell anyone about that"Patricia snapped.

Eddie rolled his eyes, as he walked to the door with the others.

"Well, we will be back later"Eddie said as the rest of the student's left.

Fabian walked up to Nina's room and opened the door.

When Fabian walked into the room he saw Nina asleep in her bed.

Fabian smiled as he walked over to his girlfriend's bed.

Nina woke up as she heard someone walking in her room.

Nina looked up, saw Fabian and smiled.

"You okay?"Fabian asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay just in a bit of pain "Nina said.

"I bet I could make you feel better"Fabian said.

"Sure" Nina said as she smiled.

"Okay can I just ask you something real fast?"Fabian asked.

"Sure" Nina said.

"Okay, well your not going to, um, you know, throw a book at my face, right?"Fabian asked.

"Why would I do that?"Nina asked.

It's just something Eddie told me Patricia did to him when he was taking care of her"Fabian said.

"well i'm not Patricia so you dont have to worry about that"Nina laughed.

"Okay good"Fabian said.

"Now come lay down"Nina said as she patted the spot next to her in the bed.

Fabian smiled as he layed down beside Nina and put his arm's around her.

Nina smiled as she snuggled into Fabian.

"I love you Fabian".Nina said.

"I love you too"Fabian said as he kissed Nina on the lip's.

Nina smiled as she fell asleep in Fabian's arm's.

About an hour later Fabian was still Nina when she woke up crying in pain.

"OW"Nina cried.

"Nina whats wrong?"Fabian asked nervously.

"CRAMPS"Nina yelled.

"FABIAN GET ME SOME PAIN KILLER'S"Nina yelled.

"Okay okay i'll be back soon"Fabian said nervously as he got up and headed for the door.

"YOU BETTER BE"Nina yelled.

Fabian walked down to the kitchen and went to the cabinet where trudy kept all the medicine.

He got out two pill's and then got a cup of water and walked back to Nina's room.

"Here you go"Fabian said as he walked back into Nina's room.

"Oh Thank god"Nina said as she took the pill's and the cup of water from Fabian.

Once Nina took the medicine, she layed back down.

"Thanks"Nina said.

"No problem, I'll always be here to take care of you"Fabian said sweetly as he layed back down with Nina.

"You know I'm really glad you stayed home with me today"Nina said as she snuggled into Fabian.

"Me too"Fabian said as he held Nina tight.

Chapter three:Amfie

Alfie opened his eyes and yawned. He got up and got dressed and got ready for school.

Then he went into the kitchen to eat.

When he walked into the kitchen, he sat down to eat as everyone else came into the room.

"Hey Alfie" Amber said as she walked into the room.

"Hey love." Alfie said as he walked over to Amber and kissed her.

"Are you feeling alright?" Alfie asked.

"Yeah. Just a bit tired," Amber said.

"Why dont you stay home today?" Alfie asked.

"I really want to but I hate missing a day of school because that means I'll have to make up the days homework tomorrow." Amber said.

"I'll bring your homework tonight." Nina said as she walked into the room.

"OH THANK YOU NINA!" Amber squealed.

"Your welcome." Nina said.

"I'll stay with you if you like?"Alfie asked.

"Yes please." Amber said.

Just then, Trudy walked into the kitchen.

"Trudy, I'm not feeling so well. Can I stay home today?" Amber asked.

"Yes you can, sweetie, but I'm going to the store. Who will take care of you?" Trudy asked.

"I will!" Alfie said.

"You sure you can handle it, Alfie? I mean, girls are like monsters when it's that time of the month!" Fabian laughed.

"HEY!" Nina yelled.

"I'm joking!" Fabian laughed.

Nina rolled her eyes as she stood up.

"Well, we better get to school! Feel better Amber!" Nina said as she walked off with Fabian and everyone else.

Only Amber and Alfie remained.

"Well you better go rest Amber." Alfie said.

"Yeah, I'll call you if I need anything." Amber said as she walked to her room.

"Alright, I'm going now." Trudy said.

"Take care of Amber!" Trudy said to Alfie as she walked out the door.

Alfie sighed as he walked up to Amber's room and opened the door.

"You okay?"Alfie asked.

"Yeah, just tired and in pain..." Amber said as she layed down in her bed.

"Do you need anything?" Alfie asked.

"Come lay by me." Amber said.

Alfie smiled as he walked over to his girlfriend's bed. He layed down beside her.

Amber smiled. She snuggled close to Alfie and fell asleep.

About an hour later, Alfie had fallen asleep as well.

Sudden yelling woke him up.

"ALIFIE!" Amber yelled.

"What? What's wrong?!" Alfie asked he sat up in the bed.

"I HAVE BLOOD ALL OVER MY PANTS!"

Alfie jumped out of the bed; scared at the possibility of blood near him.

"Help me!" Amber screamed.

"Okay. Calm down Amber. Just go to the bathroom and change." Alfie said.

Amber nodded as she jumped out of bed. She grabbed a new pair of pants and ran out of the bedroom.

Alfie sighed as he sat down on the floor in wait of Amber.

"I CANT BELIEVE THIS! I JUST GOT THOSE PANTS LAST WEEK! AND NOW THEY'RE RUINED!?!" Amber yelled.

Alfie rolled his eyes as he walked over towards her.

"Come on. You should rest now." Alfie said.

"Alright. But when I'm feeling better, I'm going shopping for new pants" Amber said as she walked over to her bed.

Alfie smirked as he layed down beside Amber once more. He watched adoringly as she fell back asleep.

Chapter Four:Jara


Jerome opened his eye's and yawned, he got up and got ready for school.

He opened his closet and got out his school uniform, got dressed then went to the kichen to eat.

"Hey Mara."Jerome said as he walked into the kichen.

"Hey Jerome."Mara said as she walked over to her boyfreind.

Jerome smiled, as he leaned in and kissed Mara.

"Hey there love birds."Came a voice from behind.

Jerome and Mara turned around to see Amber.

"Hey Amber." Mara said as her and Jerome broke apart.

"You two are so cute."Amber squealed as she sat down at the table.

Mara rolled her eye's as she sat down by Amber and started eating.

Jerome sat down beside Mara and noticed Mara looked tired.

"You okay Mara?"Jerome asked.

"Yeah it's just I have my period and I dont feel well."Mara said.

"You should stay home then."Jerome said.

"I cant. There's a math test today that i've been studying all week for."Mara exclaimed.

"Alright then just tell me if you need anything okay?"Jerome asked.

"Okay."Mara said.

Soon it was time to go to school,so Mara and Jerome and the rest of the student's walked to school.

They walked into class,sat down, and waited for there teacher to come.

"Good morning everyone."Mr.Sweet said as he walked into the class room.

"I hope everyone is ready for the math test."Mr.Sweet said as he passed out the tests to everyone.

After Mr.Sweet was done passing out the tests,he went back over to his desk.

Mara sighed as she started on her test, as she worked on it she began to feel more and more sick.

After a little bit Mara looked up at the clock on the classroom wall, and saw there was ten minute's left until the bell rang.

"I cant take this."Mara muttered to herself.

Mara looked up at Mr.Sweet and sighed.

Then Jerome looked over at Mara and sighed.

"You okay?"Jerome asked.

"No."Mara snapped.

"I think i'm gonna be sick"Mara barked.

"Let me take you back to the house."Jerome said.

"Alright fine."Mara said.

Then Jerome rasied his hand and Mr.Sweet saw.

"Yes Jerome?"Mr.Sweet asked.

"Mara isn't feeling too good can I take her back to Anubis house?"Jerome asked.

"Yes you can Jerome"Mr.Sweet said.

"Thank you"Jerome said as he walked out of the classroom with Mara.

"I feel like i'm going to throw up."Mara said.

Jerome picked Mara up and carried her bridal style.

"It's okay Mara i'll get you home."Jerome said.

Mara smiled as she layed her head down on Jerome's shoulder.

After a few minutes Jerome had gotten Mara to the house,he looked down to see Mara had fallen alseep in his arm's.

Jerome smiled as he walked into the house with Mara, went up to her room,and put her down on her bed gently.

"Jerome."Mara said as she woke up.

"Oh your up."Jerome said.

"Yeah can you come lay by me?"Mara asked.

"Of course."Jerome said as he layed down beside Mara.

Mara smiled as she snuggled into Jerome and feel asleep.

About an hour later Mara woke up screaming.

"JEROME."Mara yelled.

"Whats wrong.?"Jerome asked.

"I FORGOT TO PUT A PAD ON, AND I GOT BLOOD ALL OVER MY BED, AND EVERYTHING IS RUINED."Mara yelled.

Jerome jumped out of bed and sighed.

"Stay calm Mara i'll go get Trudy."Jerome said as he ran down to the kichen to get her.

"HURRY."Mara yelled.

"TRUDY!"Jerome yelled.

"What's wrong love.?"Trudy asked.

"It's Mara she got blood all over her bed."Jerome said.

"I'll go see her just wait down here okay.?"Trudy said.

"Alright."Jerome said.

After about ten minute's Trudy came back downstairs.

"Is she okay.?"Jerome asked.

"Yes shes fine I changed her sheet's and her beds all clean now."Trudy said.

"Can I go see her.?"Jerome asked.

"Yes."Trudy said.

Jerome ran up to Mara's room and opened the door.

"Hey Jerome."Mara said.

"Hey are you okay.?"Jerome asked.

"Yeah i'm okay."Mara said.

Jerome smiled as he walked over to Mara, and layed down beside her.

"I hate that I didn't get to finish my math test today,I was so close to getting it done."Mara said.

"You can finish it tomorrow"Jerome said.

"That's true."Mara said as she snuggled into Jerome and fell asleep.
















































































last edited on May 06, 2012 at 07:18PM

The House of Anubis 1 reply

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বছরখানেক আগে xDark_Angelx said…
Well, it's an awkward topic, that "time of the month," (really, it's a bitch and isn't funny DX), but it's what you're writing and I'll let that go.

I actually want to point out some things that I'd like to point out. Your writing is adequate, though I'm sure you can write other stuff that doesn't involve private issues with girls. You write "Patricia snapped" so much; a bit too much, and you can change it a bit to make it seem less repetitive. (Some good words are barked, snarled, retorted). Also, I never really saw someone so pissed during their time of the month; then again, this is Patricia we're talking about.

And while your writing is adequate, there is still things that could make it better. For example, don't be afraid to go into detail. You don't have to, but it brings the story to life. [He got up, got dressed and went to get something to eat.] That can be changed into [Eddie slid from his bed yawning. He opened his closet to take out his school uniform. He glanced at himself in the mirror, brushed his gray pants and white button down. He didn't feel like wearing the red blazer and tossed that back in. He finally brushed his hair and threw the closet door closed. He sulked down the stairs for pancakes and to see his girlfriend-anything that could wake him up and prepare him for another hellish day at this boarding school.] See? It really makes the story go on.

Also, when in dialogue, while writing the person talking and a bit of the action, there's also the person's reaction and their thoughts. ["Hey slimeball"Patricia snapped.

"Hey I'm just here to see if my yacker is okay "Eddie said as he walked over to Patricia's bed.

"Well I'm not okay"Patricia snapped.

"Whats wrong?"Eddie asked.]

Can be ["Hey slimeball," Patricia sneered, flipping through her book with hardly a glance his way.

He let her attitude go for now. He knew that girls were near demons at that time. "Hey, I'm just here to see if my yacker is okay," he said as he walked over to her bed. He sat at the edge and grinned.

"Well, I'm not okay!" she snapped, gritting her teeth with a glower his way.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as if he really needed the answer to that.] There's more you could do, and don't be afraid to go into a bunch of detail, because that is what makes a good story.


I'd like to point out you wrote the Peddie chapter twice. It'd save space for the future if you edit that, and are you saving that last bit of space for the final chapter? It's a bit of a waste and can be fixed in the future. Don't worry; I'm not being mean (you don't know me; I get ugly when I get mean XD), I just want to help you with some things I discovered in your writing and my thoughts. Anything anyone has to say (unless it's just an insult or just plain mean) will help you in future writing, believe me.

Woah, that's a crap load of writing. I sure hope I helped you somehow with all of this. XD And I do wonder what the last chapter is. Jara, I'm guessing? Oh, man, can't imagine Mara stressed. Lol.
last edited বছরখানেক আগে