It seems like a few of আপনি enjoy this as much as I do, here is a recap of the last entry and the next. I went a bit overboard this time, sorry it's a bit long. Enjoy :)
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***RECAP***
"We will discuss this later, when your father gets home." She ব্যক্ত as she took Cynthia back into the house, looking back over her shoulders once to make sure that I was still there.
I knew that once father got home, everything would change. I knew that he thought that anyone who acted the least bit strange was cause for worry. I decided at that point that I wasn't going to tell anyone anything about what I see, unless someone would get hurt.
I know that I should continue লেখা right now, but I am tired and I hear one of the doctors heading down the hallway. I need to hide the journal before they take it away.""
That was the end of the first entry, I sat on the floor knowing that if I could cry I would be bawling like a baby right now. I knew that this must have caused me pain, having to write my own history. I closed the book and left it sitting on my knees with my head leaned back and my eyes closed.
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I don't know how long I sat on the floor rereading the first entry in my mind. Why would have someone gotten mad at whoever G is for giving me this journal? Was I not suppose to have anything to occupy my time?
I opened my eyes and looked around the room, noticing that Jasper had moved to his leather chair behind the desk. I turned my head towards him smiling up at him.
"How are you?" He asked in a worried tone.
"I'm not sure, I think I am OK but need to read more. I want to know আরো about my family, and what happened." I ব্যক্ত as I stood up stretching unnecessarily.
I walked over to Jasper, who opened his arms so that I could climb in. He wrapped his arms around me as I put my head on his shoulder and opened the journal to the পরবর্তি entry.
February 20th, 1916:
"I figure that I should have enough time to write now, they just did the room check and luckily my journal wasn't found. I might have to find another hiding spot, this seems to help me feel better then anything else they try.
Ok where did I leave off? Oh yeah, father coming home.
Father walked past me as he made his way into the house.
"What did আপনি do this time Mary?" He asked as he crossed the yard to the house. He knew that something was going on, because Cynthia wasn't outside with me and mother was pacing inside the house.
"Nothing, I swear." I ব্যক্ত quickly as he opened the door and walked into the house.
I couldn't hear the exact words that they were saying, but believe me I got the gist of the conversation. Mother was telling him about how I told my sister to সরানো মিনিট before the branch fell where she had been sitting. I looked up once as my father stood দ্বারা the window and saw him glare at me.
I put my head in my hands and began to cry, what would he do about this. I knew দ্বারা the look that he was very angry, and I was right that I couldn't tell anyone anything about what I saw anymore. No matter what happened.
He came out yelling at me to get in the house. I stood quickly, wiping the ঘাস off my স্কার্ট and ran to the house. I walked in trying my best to avoid any eye contact, he pointed to the chair.
I walked over, head down and sat in the chair. My father stood দ্বারা the sink wringing his hands, shaking a little bit.
"Your mother and sister told me about what happened today. Do আপনি have anything to say for yourself?" He asked.
I shook my head, knowing that it would only make things worse if i tried to explain.
"Now, I am glad that আপনি SOMEHOW knew to have your little sister move. However; I do not want to hear about anything like this again. I have worked too long and hard to have this family excepted, that we are not going to have anyone judge us different because of what আপনি can অথবা can not do." He ব্যক্ত all of this as he walked closer to me and knelt down so that he was eye level with me for the last part.
I nodded, tears forming in my eyes. I thought that my family would be the ones who would accept me for what I was no matter what.
It was quiet around our house for about a month, I made sure that no matter what no one knew about what I saw. I had seen many things during this time; people coming to visit, my mother loosing her পছন্দ pearl নেকলেস (and I knew where it was but couldn't tell anyone because they would have thought I took it) and my sister falling and hurting her wrist while she was playing one day.
One quiet দিন we were all on a picnic, the sun was shining and we were all laughing. I was sitting on the blanket with my mother as my sister and father tried to fly a kite. I leaned my head back relaxing on the blanket, feeling the sun warming my whole being.
I had just blinked when I saw the most horrifying vision. I saw my mother walking back to the house when a man who was hiding jumped out and grabbed her. I began to see the horrible things that he would do to her, and made myself stop before I was sick.
I sat up suddenly, startling my mother. I sat there looking at her, so scared that my whole body was shaking. She just sat there for a মিনিট looking at me trying to figure out what was going on when she got a scared look on her face.
She suddenly stood up yelling for my father to come over. There was panic in her voice enough that my father dropped the spool of string for the ঘুড়ি and came running.
"What is it? What happened? What did আপনি do Mary?" He asked the last part with anger as he turned and glared at me.
I was shaking and crying দ্বারা that point, I knew that I shouldn't say anything and act like everything was alright. I think that I might have been able to do that, except that the vision came back প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে my mother hurt and a stranger taking her away.
I sat on the blanket, shaking my head trying to make the horrible things go away when my father grabbed my shoulders.
"You did it again didn't you? What did আপনি see this time, ফুলেরডালি growing in the wrong place? A terrible storm?" He asked laughing, mocking me.
I knew that ever since the first time he heard about the things I saw that he thought of me as a freak, that a part of me was no longer his little girl.
I need to go now, the lights are coming back on. I will try hiding my book better this time so that no one will find it and take it away. I need this, this is my only lifeline right now."
The last paragraph was slightly smudged, I ran my finger over the spot when I realized what would have made the ink run. I sat there staring at the tear marks realizing that my হৃদয় was breaking twice. Once when I wrote it, and now as I was learning about the way that my own father felt about me.
I closed the book putting it on Jazz's desk, and turned my head so that it was in his shoulder.
"Alice I think আপনি need to stop for a while, আপনি were shaking while আপনি were পাঠ করা the end. I know it is hurting you, yet freeing to find out the past, but I think we should stop for a while." He ব্যক্ত as he wrapped his arms tighter around me and kissed my neck.
I knew he was right, so I slowly removed myself from him and stood up. I walked over to his book shelves, placing the small, battered journal on the shelf.
I stood there for a মিনিট touching the spine of it, then I turned grabbing Jasper's hand. We headed out of the room, down the stairs and to the living room where the whole family sat wondering what was going on.
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***RECAP***
"We will discuss this later, when your father gets home." She ব্যক্ত as she took Cynthia back into the house, looking back over her shoulders once to make sure that I was still there.
I knew that once father got home, everything would change. I knew that he thought that anyone who acted the least bit strange was cause for worry. I decided at that point that I wasn't going to tell anyone anything about what I see, unless someone would get hurt.
I know that I should continue লেখা right now, but I am tired and I hear one of the doctors heading down the hallway. I need to hide the journal before they take it away.""
That was the end of the first entry, I sat on the floor knowing that if I could cry I would be bawling like a baby right now. I knew that this must have caused me pain, having to write my own history. I closed the book and left it sitting on my knees with my head leaned back and my eyes closed.
==================================================
I don't know how long I sat on the floor rereading the first entry in my mind. Why would have someone gotten mad at whoever G is for giving me this journal? Was I not suppose to have anything to occupy my time?
I opened my eyes and looked around the room, noticing that Jasper had moved to his leather chair behind the desk. I turned my head towards him smiling up at him.
"How are you?" He asked in a worried tone.
"I'm not sure, I think I am OK but need to read more. I want to know আরো about my family, and what happened." I ব্যক্ত as I stood up stretching unnecessarily.
I walked over to Jasper, who opened his arms so that I could climb in. He wrapped his arms around me as I put my head on his shoulder and opened the journal to the পরবর্তি entry.
February 20th, 1916:
"I figure that I should have enough time to write now, they just did the room check and luckily my journal wasn't found. I might have to find another hiding spot, this seems to help me feel better then anything else they try.
Ok where did I leave off? Oh yeah, father coming home.
Father walked past me as he made his way into the house.
"What did আপনি do this time Mary?" He asked as he crossed the yard to the house. He knew that something was going on, because Cynthia wasn't outside with me and mother was pacing inside the house.
"Nothing, I swear." I ব্যক্ত quickly as he opened the door and walked into the house.
I couldn't hear the exact words that they were saying, but believe me I got the gist of the conversation. Mother was telling him about how I told my sister to সরানো মিনিট before the branch fell where she had been sitting. I looked up once as my father stood দ্বারা the window and saw him glare at me.
I put my head in my hands and began to cry, what would he do about this. I knew দ্বারা the look that he was very angry, and I was right that I couldn't tell anyone anything about what I saw anymore. No matter what happened.
He came out yelling at me to get in the house. I stood quickly, wiping the ঘাস off my স্কার্ট and ran to the house. I walked in trying my best to avoid any eye contact, he pointed to the chair.
I walked over, head down and sat in the chair. My father stood দ্বারা the sink wringing his hands, shaking a little bit.
"Your mother and sister told me about what happened today. Do আপনি have anything to say for yourself?" He asked.
I shook my head, knowing that it would only make things worse if i tried to explain.
"Now, I am glad that আপনি SOMEHOW knew to have your little sister move. However; I do not want to hear about anything like this again. I have worked too long and hard to have this family excepted, that we are not going to have anyone judge us different because of what আপনি can অথবা can not do." He ব্যক্ত all of this as he walked closer to me and knelt down so that he was eye level with me for the last part.
I nodded, tears forming in my eyes. I thought that my family would be the ones who would accept me for what I was no matter what.
It was quiet around our house for about a month, I made sure that no matter what no one knew about what I saw. I had seen many things during this time; people coming to visit, my mother loosing her পছন্দ pearl নেকলেস (and I knew where it was but couldn't tell anyone because they would have thought I took it) and my sister falling and hurting her wrist while she was playing one day.
One quiet দিন we were all on a picnic, the sun was shining and we were all laughing. I was sitting on the blanket with my mother as my sister and father tried to fly a kite. I leaned my head back relaxing on the blanket, feeling the sun warming my whole being.
I had just blinked when I saw the most horrifying vision. I saw my mother walking back to the house when a man who was hiding jumped out and grabbed her. I began to see the horrible things that he would do to her, and made myself stop before I was sick.
I sat up suddenly, startling my mother. I sat there looking at her, so scared that my whole body was shaking. She just sat there for a মিনিট looking at me trying to figure out what was going on when she got a scared look on her face.
She suddenly stood up yelling for my father to come over. There was panic in her voice enough that my father dropped the spool of string for the ঘুড়ি and came running.
"What is it? What happened? What did আপনি do Mary?" He asked the last part with anger as he turned and glared at me.
I was shaking and crying দ্বারা that point, I knew that I shouldn't say anything and act like everything was alright. I think that I might have been able to do that, except that the vision came back প্রদর্শিত হচ্ছে my mother hurt and a stranger taking her away.
I sat on the blanket, shaking my head trying to make the horrible things go away when my father grabbed my shoulders.
"You did it again didn't you? What did আপনি see this time, ফুলেরডালি growing in the wrong place? A terrible storm?" He asked laughing, mocking me.
I knew that ever since the first time he heard about the things I saw that he thought of me as a freak, that a part of me was no longer his little girl.
I need to go now, the lights are coming back on. I will try hiding my book better this time so that no one will find it and take it away. I need this, this is my only lifeline right now."
The last paragraph was slightly smudged, I ran my finger over the spot when I realized what would have made the ink run. I sat there staring at the tear marks realizing that my হৃদয় was breaking twice. Once when I wrote it, and now as I was learning about the way that my own father felt about me.
I closed the book putting it on Jazz's desk, and turned my head so that it was in his shoulder.
"Alice I think আপনি need to stop for a while, আপনি were shaking while আপনি were পাঠ করা the end. I know it is hurting you, yet freeing to find out the past, but I think we should stop for a while." He ব্যক্ত as he wrapped his arms tighter around me and kissed my neck.
I knew he was right, so I slowly removed myself from him and stood up. I walked over to his book shelves, placing the small, battered journal on the shelf.
I stood there for a মিনিট touching the spine of it, then I turned grabbing Jasper's hand. We headed out of the room, down the stairs and to the living room where the whole family sat wondering what was going on.
