I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).


This is a little graphic for those of আপনি who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)



1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous

2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy

3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling

4. Edward has a temper

5. Though there are no ভ্যাম্পায়ার and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL

6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile

7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella

8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them

9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)

10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 সেকেন্ড after seeing Bella only bite her lip

11. Tanya is a bitch

12. Rose is the coolest badass ever

13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere

14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re পাঠ করা a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: অথবা Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]

15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story অথবা a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I প্রণয় you” before sex

16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 সেকেন্ড before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids

17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella বার্বি and always takes her shopping against her will

18. No matter how long the story is অথবা what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips

19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her দ্বারা Alice অথবা Rose

20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with সঙ্গীত and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits

21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon

22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.

23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick

24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.

25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah

26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme

27. They always rip condoms with their teeth

28. At one time অথবা another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”

29. The লেখক will almost always sneak in at least one book অথবা movie quote

30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out দ্বারা Edward watching her sleep