I had just finished ডিনার and settled into my পালঙ্ক when my phone rang. "Hello?"
"Edward, Dear. Hi. It's your mother. Your father told me আপনি were having lunch with Bella? How did it go? It's she lovely? And that sweet boy of hers?"
I laughed at my mothers lack of filter for her questions. "Hi, Mom. Yes, I had lunch with Bella. It went well. She's আরো than lovely and yes Mason is quite the kid."
"Oh." she squealed. "I'm so happy for you. Have আপনি thought of Sara any today? Your father told me আপনি dreamt of her last night."
I was caught back দ্বারা the question. No...no I hadn't thought of Sara any today excpet this morning. Right before I took my ring off. "No. I haven't." I whispered.
"It's okay to let go, Son." She spoke softly.
"I took my ring off." I told her. "I was so afraid that if i took it off I would forget her. And I did. I forgot her today. I hadn't thought of her all দিন untill আপনি ব্যক্ত something." Tears were staring to well in my eyes. "I loved her. I'm not supposed to forget her. I'm supposed to remember her and think about her all the time because I loved her."
"Hear youreself son. আপনি ব্যক্ত 'I loved her.' Loved is in the past tense."
I shook my head, tears streaming my face. "You don't understand! আপনি don't know what it feels like. আপনি still have Dad and he still has you! Bella knows what it feels like because she হারিয়ে গেছে Riley!"
"Then maybe আপনি need to talk to Bella." She stated simply.
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Bella POV
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Rain was pelting on my windows, my fireplace roaring with heat. Other than that, there was no noise. I sat down on the পালঙ্ক and grabbed my old ছবি albam. I traced the over with my finger. Riley, with his blonde hair and blue eyes, was standing behind me, arms wrapped around my waist with a huge smile on his face. I had just found out I was pregnant with Mason.
I took a deep breath and flipped the cover open. The pictures progressed with my stomache getting larger, Riley's 5 o'clock shaddows would dissapear then reapear. I always like this scruff. There were pictures of us putting together Mason's crib, painting his room, patining eachother's noses and fourheads. I wiped a tear from my cheek.
পরবর্তি were the pictures of Riley and I right after he purposed. There was no ring when he asked. Just প্রণয় in his eyes and words. I loved him. আরো than anything. And he loved me just the same. I shut the book not able to look anymore as I remembered.
My phone was ringing on my side টেবিল lighting up my room. "Hello?" My voice was thick with sleep.
"Bella Swan?" A man asked on the other end.
"Yes?" I sat up in the dark.
"Miss Swan, this is Officiar Black. I'm sorry to inform আপনি that your fience Riley Biers had been in an accedent."
"Is he okay?" I was begining to panic.
"Miss Swan, I'm Sorry. He was hit দ্বারা a drunk driver head on. He didn't make it."
"Thank you." My throat was constricting.
"Goodnight, Miss Swan."
Unable to speak I ended the call. I sat in my bed. staring into the darkness, unable to move.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. He couldn't be dead. Mason was going to be born anyday. He had to be there for Mason. We were going to get married and be a real family. Tears had been dripping sore long before, but a short sobb broke through my lips and it opened a dam.
"No!" I screamed. "Please!" I sobbed into my pillow. "Riley!"
I wiped my cheeks, sniffing., when my doorbell rang. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 7:30. Puzzled, I straighted myself up and answered the door. "Edward?" He was soaked from the down poor of rain, his eyes were red rimbed. I was sure he had been crying but I couldn't tell his tears from the raindropps. "Come in." I ushered him in. "Let me grab আপনি some of Emmett's clothes.
I had প্রদত্ত him a pair of Emmetts sweats and a t-shirt, and threw his clothes in the drier.
"I need to talk to you." His eyes were begining to well with fresh tears. He fished something out of his sweats pocket and held it up. Wedding band?
"You came here to tell me you're married?" I asked.
"I came here to tell আপনি I was married. I need someone to talk to who know's the pain I feel. I know আপনি do Bella. My father told me." Normally I would be angry...but I wasn't.
"Go ahead." I nodded toward him. "Start from the begining."
"Sara and I married when I was 21. She was beautiful. Blonde hair that hung to the middle of her back, bright blue eyes. We had been married for a year. She went in for a normal check up and my life was turned unside down. We were told she had brain cancer. It had spread before they could catch it before hand so sugery wouldn't have helped." His tears were spilling over. "She went through radiation fine. Then cemotherepy. she was sick all the time, she couldn't eat, she was so upset she was losing her hair. No matter how many times I told her that her hair wasn't why I loved her, she was still upset. Because she wouldn't eat,, she was losing weight much too fast. Thining, weakening right before my eyes. I had never felt so helpless when I would wtch her brush her hair and just cry."
I couldn't keep my own tears from falling. "Keep going." I incouraged him.
"Not matter how bad she would get, she always kept hope. She ran on hope. Hope that she would make it through this. Hope that we would still grow old together, have our own children, grandchilderen." He ran his hand through his hair, still avoiding my eyes. "One দিন when we went back in....we..." He took a deep breath. "They told us it had spread to brain stem. There was nothing else they could do. It was over. She had a মাস left..max. We went প্রথমপাতা and stayed curled up in the বিছানা and stayed like that for a few days. One night we were just laying there, filling ourself up with eachother and she told me. (EDWARD POV FLASHBACK)
"Edward." Sara's voice was rough and low. "I can't fight anymore. I'm not strong enough. "
"You don't have too." My throat was raging with pain as I tried to keep from breaking down infront of her.
"I প্রণয় you, Edward." She kissed me.
"I প্রণয় you, too." I cried. This was it. She was going to die right here in my arms.
"Thank you. For loving me. For giving me hope." She smiled slightly.
I was nearly sobbing.
"I just want আপনি to know, I'm always going to be here. I'm always going to প্রণয় you. I will always remember you."
"I will remember." I cried. "I promise. I swear to you, baby I will always remember you. I will never forget you." As I held her in my arms, I felt her breathing slow, her grip on my শার্ট start to lighten. All too soon, it was only my lungs that let in and out oxygen. Only my হৃদয় was beating. Only I was still here. (END OF EDWARD POV)
"I felt her leave. It was like only her body was in my arms. She was gone." He sobbed.
Without thinking I threw myself at him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.
"I broke my promise to her, today." He spoke. "I forget to think of her. To rememer her." I pulled back. "When I'm with you, it's easier. There's still a hole but the raw edges numb and I barely notice it. আপনি can make everything around me better just দ্বারা smiling অথবা laughing অথবা looking at me. I need someone like you, Bella. I need a friend that can help me forget and tell me it's okay."
"It's okay to forget a little Edward. আপনি will never fully forget her. Ever. আপনি just learn to live again." I told him. "You can forget. It's okay." I nodded and hugged him again. His arms wound around my lower back and held held me close to him.
"Thank you." He wispered into my shoulder.
"Edward, Dear. Hi. It's your mother. Your father told me আপনি were having lunch with Bella? How did it go? It's she lovely? And that sweet boy of hers?"
I laughed at my mothers lack of filter for her questions. "Hi, Mom. Yes, I had lunch with Bella. It went well. She's আরো than lovely and yes Mason is quite the kid."
"Oh." she squealed. "I'm so happy for you. Have আপনি thought of Sara any today? Your father told me আপনি dreamt of her last night."
I was caught back দ্বারা the question. No...no I hadn't thought of Sara any today excpet this morning. Right before I took my ring off. "No. I haven't." I whispered.
"It's okay to let go, Son." She spoke softly.
"I took my ring off." I told her. "I was so afraid that if i took it off I would forget her. And I did. I forgot her today. I hadn't thought of her all দিন untill আপনি ব্যক্ত something." Tears were staring to well in my eyes. "I loved her. I'm not supposed to forget her. I'm supposed to remember her and think about her all the time because I loved her."
"Hear youreself son. আপনি ব্যক্ত 'I loved her.' Loved is in the past tense."
I shook my head, tears streaming my face. "You don't understand! আপনি don't know what it feels like. আপনি still have Dad and he still has you! Bella knows what it feels like because she হারিয়ে গেছে Riley!"
"Then maybe আপনি need to talk to Bella." She stated simply.
__________________________________________________
Bella POV
__________________________________________________
Rain was pelting on my windows, my fireplace roaring with heat. Other than that, there was no noise. I sat down on the পালঙ্ক and grabbed my old ছবি albam. I traced the over with my finger. Riley, with his blonde hair and blue eyes, was standing behind me, arms wrapped around my waist with a huge smile on his face. I had just found out I was pregnant with Mason.
I took a deep breath and flipped the cover open. The pictures progressed with my stomache getting larger, Riley's 5 o'clock shaddows would dissapear then reapear. I always like this scruff. There were pictures of us putting together Mason's crib, painting his room, patining eachother's noses and fourheads. I wiped a tear from my cheek.
পরবর্তি were the pictures of Riley and I right after he purposed. There was no ring when he asked. Just প্রণয় in his eyes and words. I loved him. আরো than anything. And he loved me just the same. I shut the book not able to look anymore as I remembered.
My phone was ringing on my side টেবিল lighting up my room. "Hello?" My voice was thick with sleep.
"Bella Swan?" A man asked on the other end.
"Yes?" I sat up in the dark.
"Miss Swan, this is Officiar Black. I'm sorry to inform আপনি that your fience Riley Biers had been in an accedent."
"Is he okay?" I was begining to panic.
"Miss Swan, I'm Sorry. He was hit দ্বারা a drunk driver head on. He didn't make it."
"Thank you." My throat was constricting.
"Goodnight, Miss Swan."
Unable to speak I ended the call. I sat in my bed. staring into the darkness, unable to move.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. He couldn't be dead. Mason was going to be born anyday. He had to be there for Mason. We were going to get married and be a real family. Tears had been dripping sore long before, but a short sobb broke through my lips and it opened a dam.
"No!" I screamed. "Please!" I sobbed into my pillow. "Riley!"
I wiped my cheeks, sniffing., when my doorbell rang. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 7:30. Puzzled, I straighted myself up and answered the door. "Edward?" He was soaked from the down poor of rain, his eyes were red rimbed. I was sure he had been crying but I couldn't tell his tears from the raindropps. "Come in." I ushered him in. "Let me grab আপনি some of Emmett's clothes.
I had প্রদত্ত him a pair of Emmetts sweats and a t-shirt, and threw his clothes in the drier.
"I need to talk to you." His eyes were begining to well with fresh tears. He fished something out of his sweats pocket and held it up. Wedding band?
"You came here to tell me you're married?" I asked.
"I came here to tell আপনি I was married. I need someone to talk to who know's the pain I feel. I know আপনি do Bella. My father told me." Normally I would be angry...but I wasn't.
"Go ahead." I nodded toward him. "Start from the begining."
"Sara and I married when I was 21. She was beautiful. Blonde hair that hung to the middle of her back, bright blue eyes. We had been married for a year. She went in for a normal check up and my life was turned unside down. We were told she had brain cancer. It had spread before they could catch it before hand so sugery wouldn't have helped." His tears were spilling over. "She went through radiation fine. Then cemotherepy. she was sick all the time, she couldn't eat, she was so upset she was losing her hair. No matter how many times I told her that her hair wasn't why I loved her, she was still upset. Because she wouldn't eat,, she was losing weight much too fast. Thining, weakening right before my eyes. I had never felt so helpless when I would wtch her brush her hair and just cry."
I couldn't keep my own tears from falling. "Keep going." I incouraged him.
"Not matter how bad she would get, she always kept hope. She ran on hope. Hope that she would make it through this. Hope that we would still grow old together, have our own children, grandchilderen." He ran his hand through his hair, still avoiding my eyes. "One দিন when we went back in....we..." He took a deep breath. "They told us it had spread to brain stem. There was nothing else they could do. It was over. She had a মাস left..max. We went প্রথমপাতা and stayed curled up in the বিছানা and stayed like that for a few days. One night we were just laying there, filling ourself up with eachother and she told me. (EDWARD POV FLASHBACK)
"Edward." Sara's voice was rough and low. "I can't fight anymore. I'm not strong enough. "
"You don't have too." My throat was raging with pain as I tried to keep from breaking down infront of her.
"I প্রণয় you, Edward." She kissed me.
"I প্রণয় you, too." I cried. This was it. She was going to die right here in my arms.
"Thank you. For loving me. For giving me hope." She smiled slightly.
I was nearly sobbing.
"I just want আপনি to know, I'm always going to be here. I'm always going to প্রণয় you. I will always remember you."
"I will remember." I cried. "I promise. I swear to you, baby I will always remember you. I will never forget you." As I held her in my arms, I felt her breathing slow, her grip on my শার্ট start to lighten. All too soon, it was only my lungs that let in and out oxygen. Only my হৃদয় was beating. Only I was still here. (END OF EDWARD POV)
"I felt her leave. It was like only her body was in my arms. She was gone." He sobbed.
Without thinking I threw myself at him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.
"I broke my promise to her, today." He spoke. "I forget to think of her. To rememer her." I pulled back. "When I'm with you, it's easier. There's still a hole but the raw edges numb and I barely notice it. আপনি can make everything around me better just দ্বারা smiling অথবা laughing অথবা looking at me. I need someone like you, Bella. I need a friend that can help me forget and tell me it's okay."
"It's okay to forget a little Edward. আপনি will never fully forget her. Ever. আপনি just learn to live again." I told him. "You can forget. It's okay." I nodded and hugged him again. His arms wound around my lower back and held held me close to him.
"Thank you." He wispered into my shoulder.
