Help me please....

Life for me has went even আরো downstream than it already is. I really hate myself আরো than anything else on this world. I would want to die each সেকেন্ড I am breathing. My best friend is annoyed দ্বারা me because I told her each time I was sad which was almost every day. And I হারিয়ে গেছে the person who was the most precious one to me. I would have died for him and now he is treating me like shit. I know he has gone through a lot but I too have gone through a lot, he almost ripped my হৃদয় out with that. Also my mother saw my hip. I am cutting myself on my hip, but I told her that I have stopped cutting myself. So now my mom is really angry at me and doesn't talk to me anymore.
All this has torn my হৃদয় into pieces right now, everything goes wrong. I don't even know what to do anymore. I want to vanish. I'd rather feel nothing than this pain I feel right now. Oh please, I don't want to sound like an attention whore, but please please someone tell me what to do, I don't know anything anymore!!!