Chapter 4,
Smack, I was woken up once again in the middle of the night দ্বারা my two-year-old daughter's tiny feet kicking me in the face as she slept. I know what you're thinking; why is she not sleeping in her own বিছানা yet? The answer to that প্রশ্ন is that I just can't handle listening to her cry! It's the worst thing in the world and it's easier just to give in to her! I can tell that Grace is just dying to rub the fact that she might be right in my face! I like the dynamic that Grace and I have because she keeps her distance when I'm home. Usually I send her down to see her family when my work schedule isn't too busy and I have time off to watch Alanna as a single parent. I like how Grace gives me complete control over anything to do with Alanna. I was really worried that she would be too overpowering and insist that things be done her way! A lot of my other celebrity বন্ধু that have kids complain about how their nanny likes to be in control when it comes to how they raise their children. That's definitely not the case with Grace because the সেকেন্ড I get প্রথমপাতা from any of my business obligations that day, she retreats up to her room and lets me be Alanna's daddy! Grace knows that there are boundaries when it comes to being a nanny! Basically 85% of the time I'm paying her just to keep her distance; but she is definitely not complaining about that! In her words "it's the easiest paycheck she's ever earned!"
I was able to go back to sleep after Alanna had stopped kicking me in the face and I was hoping she wouldn't start up again! A few hours later at around 8 AM, I got out of বিছানা and that caused Alanna to wake up. I picked her up and ব্যক্ত "good morning sleepyhead! আপনি ready to go downstairs?" She rubbed her eyes and shook her head in agreement. I changed her out of her pajamas and carried her downstairs to the রান্নাঘর table. I placed her in the booster আসন that now replaced her high chair and I poured a bowl of "fruit loops." I put it down in front of her on শীর্ষ of the placemat which had all the letters of the alphabet printed on it. I sat down পরবর্তি to her and she moved the bowl out of her way. I pointed down at the placemat and asked "do আপনি remember what letter your name starts with? Remember which one I showed you?" She pointed down at the "A" and I ব্যক্ত "very good!" Then she ব্যক্ত "then the other name is a 'J' name!" I ব্যক্ত "that's right; Jackson does start with that letter! I'm surprised আপনি remembered! Your full name is Alanna Michael Jackson!"
After she was done eating, I helped her get down from the টেবিল and we went into her play room. I asked "what do আপনি want to do today Alanna?" She ব্যক্ত "daddy, I don't like it when আপনি call me that!" I asked confused "call আপনি what?" She ব্যক্ত "Alanna" and I asked "you don't? Then what do আপনি want me to call you?" She ব্যক্ত "call me AJ! I like that better because it's not a girlie name daddy!" I asked "you don't want to be daddy's princess?" She ব্যক্ত with a disgusted look on her face "no; princesses are boring daddy!" I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "well then; I'm glad আপনি clarified that for me because I wasn't aware that princesses are boring!" She ব্যক্ত "especially snow white daddy because she doesn't sing good at all!" I almost doubled over in laughter because of how serious and adamant my daughter was about her irritation with the ডিজনি princesses. I do think it's a little weird though because most two-year-old girls প্রণয় anything to do with princesses! I guess my two-year-old is an exception to that stereotype.
***
I crept up the stairs and up to Alanna's bedroom door because it was extremely quiet. Quietness usually means she's up to no good and quite frankly I didn't know if I wanted to know what she was doing. I slowly pushed the door open and was stunned দ্বারা what I saw. My mouth dropped open as I asked slowly "what – did – আপনি – do?" She looked up at me with scissors in her hands and a HUGE chunk of her beautiful blonde hair missing off the side of her head! I gently turned her head with my hand and just shook my head in disbelief. I walked out of the room and calmly ব্যক্ত "um grace; I think আপনি may want to come see this." She smiled and asked "why? What's going – oh my God!!!" She chuckled and that made me start to laugh as I ব্যক্ত "why are we laughing? This isn't the least bit funny!" Grace forced out of the words "she's so goofy looking with her hair like that Michael! What are we going to do? She can't stay like that until it grows back in!"
I walked out of the room and came back carrying a pair of professional scissors in my hands. Grace chuckled and ব্যক্ত "if you're thinking of cutting it yourself than I have a feeling this is going to end very badly!" I continued to laugh as I was forced to cut Alanna's hair just to the length of her ears; so it would be equal to the absolutely atrocious mess she had created on the opposite side of her head. I stood back to see the final product and ব্যক্ত "it's definitely not perfect; but it's better than what she had before! AJ, please don't ever try to cut your own hair again. আপনি should have just ব্যক্ত আপনি wanted your haircut shorter! Where did আপনি get those scissors from anyway?"
I watched as my daughter climbed across the bookshelf in her room as if she was a monkey and threw a plastic box down to the ground. I sifted through the box and asked "I thought there was a whole bunch of permanent markers in this box too!" Alanna ব্যক্ত "oh; আপনি mean the paints! I used the blue one daddy." I hesitated nervously to ask "where?" She pointed to the দেওয়াল behind me and I turned around to see gigantic blue scribbles everywhere! I put my hand over my mouth and whispered "why would আপনি do that AJ?" She responded "I wanted to paint my room blue because I don't like the পরাকাষ্ঠা daddy!" I chuckled with nervous laughter as I ব্যক্ত "yeah; but sweetheart that wasn't paint! That was permanent marker!"
She grabbed a baby wipe from the box that was in her room and walked over to the wall. She ব্যক্ত "I can wash it off daddy!" I couldn't help but smile as I glanced upward at my two-year-old who was desperately trying to get the marker off the wall. I was trying to act upset with her অথবা make it seem like I was sad; but I couldn't help but laugh at how cute she looked! I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "I promise আপনি AJ; a baby wipe is not going to work!" In the blink of an eye, she picked up the blue marker again and started coloring on the walls like nothing was wrong! I ran up to her and ব্যক্ত "whoa, whoa, whoa, don't make it worse AJ! What are আপনি doing?" She ব্যক্ত "I told আপনি daddy; I'm painting my room blue!" I ব্যক্ত "if আপনি want me to have your room painted blue then we can do that; but আপনি are not going to do it yourself with a permanent marker! Besides, don't আপনি think it would take আপনি a long time to cover your entire দেওয়াল with that one little marker?" She threw the marker on the ground feeling defeated and I scooped her up into my arms. I started to tickle her and ব্যক্ত "you know that you're going to make daddy's hair turn gray sooner! আপনি silly goose! পরবর্তি time, stay away from the box that I use when I work on your baby book! The whole reason why I put it on the শীর্ষ shelf in the first place was so that আপনি couldn't get to it! No আরো markers অথবা scissors for you!"
***
I ব্যক্ত "remember; I told আপনি that it's not nice to hit people AJ!" She ব্যক্ত "give me a cookie and I won't hit আপনি daddy!" I ব্যক্ত as I started to get irritated with her for the first time ever "no; that's not how it works AJ. I'm your daddy and I make the rules; not you." Grace looked on as she saw me getting aggravated. I ব্যক্ত something that I thought I would never say to my perfect little angel. I ব্যক্ত "maybe it's time for me to put আপনি in timeout. I heard Grace whisper "alright Mike; I've been waiting for আপনি to say those words for a long time now!" Alanna asked "what's timeout?" I looked at Grace and smirked as I ব্যক্ত "I'll put আপনি in a chair and you'll have to sit there and think about why you're not listening to me! আপনি won't be allowed to get up from the chair until I come talk to you!" AJ laughed and ব্যক্ত "you won't do that to me daddy because even আপনি ব্যক্ত I'm too cute!" I ব্যক্ত sternly "if আপনি hit me again you'll see that I'm not joking!"
I think AJ wanted to test my patience because she immediately slapped my leg and looked up at me. A little voice in the back of my head kept saying "you can't punish her Michael! She's your little baby! She's too cute to be in trouble! আপনি don't want to be like Joseph; do you?" I ignored that voice and picked her up. I pulled a chair out from the রান্নাঘর টেবিল and placed her on it. I knelt down in front of her and ব্যক্ত "I told আপনি that if আপনি hit me again আপনি would be going to timeout. Now আপনি stay here and think about why it's not nice to hit people and I'll be back in a few minutes! For 30 seconds, AJ just looked back and forth between me and the chair that she was sitting in because I don't think she actually thought that I would follow through with the timeout. After she got over the initial shock, she climbed out of the chair and I immediately chased after her.
I caught up to her and without saying a word to her brought her back to the chair. Then she got up again and again numerous times. It was starting to become a game of cat and মাউস because she decided she was going to hide underneath the table. I had to climb under there with her so I could reach her and she looked like she was having the time of her life. After I brought her back to the chair that time, she decided to try a different tactic on me to see how dedicated I was. She started crying and I had to look away because I knew that was my one and only weakness. She asked "daddy, why do আপনি keep bringing me back here? It's not nice!"
After she had served a full two মিনিট without getting out of the chair I walked up to her and knelt down in front of her. I calmly ব্যক্ত "do আপনি know why I put আপনি here?" She responded "because it wasn't nice for me to hit you!" I ব্যক্ত "yes and because আপনি wouldn't listen to me when I told আপনি to stop hitting me!" She asked "can I get up now daddy?" I ব্যক্ত "I want আপনি to say you're sorry to me for not listening and hitting first." She reluctantly ব্যক্ত "I'm sorry daddy!" I hugged her and ব্যক্ত "I accept your apology. Can I have kisses?" She lightly pecked my lips and ran off into the other room.
Grace looked at me and ব্যক্ত "congratulations on your first successful timeout Mr. Michael! I have to admit that I didn't think আপনি had it in আপনি to deal with all that crying! I'm impressed!" I ব্যক্ত "I didn't know I had it in me either! I thought it was funny though when she kept getting up from the chair because with all the years I've spent perfecting my dance moves there's no way she could wear me out. Now that she knows that I will follow through with timeouts I'm hoping she'll be better behaved. I doubt it; but I can hope! I was a little worried when she went underneath the টেবিল because I didn't know if I was going to be able to reach her; but luckily my arms were just long enough! I have a feeling that AJ's going to be spending a lot of time sitting in that chair! Just because she can be so stubborn and she never gives up!"
***
Jeffrey pulled up in front of my friend Arnie's dermatologist office and I unbuckled AJ from her car seat. I didn't want to wake her up because she had fallen asleep; so I carefully rested her head on my shoulder and walked inside as Jeffrey pulled out of the driveway. I quietly opened the front door and walked inside with her in my arms. I noticed Debbie behind the front desk; but she didn't seem to realize that I had just come inside. I didn't want to draw attention to myself because I didn't know how she would react to seeing her daughter for the first time since she's been born.
I coughed and Debbie must've recognized that it was me because without looking up from the computer screen in front of her she ব্যক্ত "hey Michael; Arnie told me you'd be stopping দ্বারা today to pick up something that he took from আপনি last weekend. I have it over here if আপনি want to come grab it." I carefully walked up to the ডেস্ক with AJ in my arms and Debbie looked up from the computer screen. She immediately looked at AJ and smiled from ear to ear. She whispered "oh my gosh Michael; I didn't know আপনি were bringing Alanna with you!!!" Debbie walked out from behind the ডেস্ক and over to me. She ran her fingers through our daughter's short blonde hair and ব্যক্ত "she looks so much like me it's crazy!" I smiled and ব্যক্ত "I know; I'm hoping she'll start to look আরো like me as she gets older because that's going to be hard to explain to her." Debbie ব্যক্ত "stay here for a few মিনিট so we can catch up! I haven't seen আপনি in two years!"
I sat down in the chair পরবর্তি to her and she asked "so; how do আপনি like being a daddy?" I ব্যক্ত "I প্রণয় it! I still can't thank আপনি enough for making all this possible for me!" She responded "it's no big deal Michael; I was আরো than happy to do it for you!" I ব্যক্ত "I was actually thinking that it might be time for আপনি and I to try for a সেকেন্ড baby!" Debbie ব্যক্ত "I had a feeling the conversation was headed in this direction!" I ব্যক্ত "my bodyguard Jeffrey and Alanna's nanny started their two months of paid vacation today and I need a ride প্রথমপাতা because Jeffrey had to leave to get to the airport on time for his flight. I was actually hoping that আপনি would give AJ and I a ride back to Neverland when you're shift ends in a few minutes?" She ব্যক্ত "of course I can Michael! I was actually just about ready to close the office up for the night."
After Debbie had locked up the office, she drove AJ and I back to the ranch. I invited her inside and she followed me upstairs while I went to go leave AJ in her room; so she could finish taking a nap. Debbie followed me into my bedroom and just as we were finishing "creating my potential সেকেন্ড child" I heard a tiny voice say "daddy; where's my bottle at?" Debbie chuckled at the awkwardness of the circumstances the two of us were in and I ব্যক্ত "sneak out the hidden staircase so she doesn't wonder what we were doing in here!"
Meanwhile, AJ stood on the outside of my locked bedroom door waiting for an answer from me. After Debbie had snuck out, I opened the door and asked "what are আপনি looking for sweetie?" She ব্যক্ত "my bottle." I ব্যক্ত "oh; I think I left the bottle আপনি had in the car that Jeffrey took to the airport! That's okay because I'll make আপনি another one!"
***
I stood outside AJ's bedroom door with her and asked "are আপনি ready to see your room painted blue?" She jumped with excitement and I opened the door to reveal a freshly painted dark blue bedroom. She ব্যক্ত "wow; thank আপনি daddy!" I ব্যক্ত as I walked inside and sat down on her বিছানা "you're welcome. Does this mean now that your room is painted you're going to start sleeping in your bed?" She ব্যক্ত "no; I like sleeping in your room daddy!" I looked out the window to see Debbie's car pulling up; so I unlocked the door with the keypad that was inside the house and gestured from the window for her to come inside.
She walked up the steps and into AJ's room. She ব্যক্ত "hi Alanna; how are you?" AJ ran behind me and started to act shy because she didn't recognize Debbie at all. I asked "can আপনি tell Mrs. Debbie hello?" AJ just looked at Debbie and hid her face again. I smiled at Debbie and asked "what brings আপনি here today?" She ব্যক্ত "I think you're going to have to start emptying out another bedroom Michael!" I smiled and ব্যক্ত "no way; you're pregnant again!" She responded "yup! I would প্রদর্শনী আপনি the pregnancy test; but I dropped it in between the আসন and the center console of my car. Trust me though; it's definitely a positive test!" I picked up AJ and ব্যক্ত "Mrs. Debbie is going to have another baby! Do আপনি know what that means?" She asked "what?" I ব্যক্ত "it means you're going to be a big sister!!!" She asked "where is the baby at then?" Debbie and I chuckled and I ব্যক্ত "you're not going to see the baby for a while because it's growing in her belly right now!" She just looked at me confused and I put her down on the ground; so she could continue running around her bedroom. I ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি so much Debbie!!! I can't even begin to tell আপনি how grateful I am that আপনি would do this for me!" Debbie ব্যক্ত "you really need to stop saying thank আপনি to me Michael! I told আপনি that this is just a gift from one friend to another!" I ব্যক্ত "I know, I know, I just can't help it!"
***
I've already told most of my family that Debbie’s expecting again, the only person I have yet to tell is my sister Latoya; that's why I'm inviting her over today. She knocked on the front door and I invited her into the living room. She immediately asked "where is Jeffrey at?" I ব্যক্ত "he and Alanna's nanny just started their two months paid vacation a few days ago; so it'll just be AJ, a few of the Neverland staff members, and I for a while.” Latoya looked at me with a worried expression of her face and sat down পরবর্তি to me on the couch. She asked "you don't mind taking care of Alanna all দ্বারা yourself for two months?" I ব্যক্ত "of course not Latoya! I প্রণয় it! I really am just a normal dad! I don't have nine different caretakers watching over AJ all দিন like most of the other celebrity parents do!!!" She asked trying to change the subject "what did আপনি want to tell me? What's the big news?" I ব্যক্ত "oh yeah; I almost forgot to tell you! I'm going to be a father again; Debbie's expecting!" Latoya responded "wow; that's great Michael!!!"
Alanna came up to me after leaving the play room she was in and hugged Latoya. Latoya kissed her forehead and AJ walked back over to me. I asked "what's the matter? Did আপনি want me to put another প্রদর্শনী on the TV in there for you?" AJ ব্যক্ত "no, I'm still watching Scooby Doo. I need আপনি to change me daddy!" I grabbed the bottle out of her hands and Latoya looked at it disgusted. I rolled my eyes and asked "what's wrong Latoya?" She asked "don't আপনি think she's way too old to be drinking out of that baby bottle at two years old?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't really see the point in taking it away from her because it's not really doing any harm!" She ব্যক্ত "that's not the point I'm trying to make Michael! AJ is WAY too old for baby bottles! আপনি should have gotten rid of those a long time ago." I ব্যক্ত "you don't really have a lot of room to talk because আপনি don't even have kids!" She ব্যক্ত "I'm just trying to help আপনি Michael! Also, if AJ is telling আপনি when she needs to be changed then it's probably a good idea to start potty training." I ব্যক্ত "well; I appreciate that আপনি want help; but I don't feel the need to deal with any of that stuff right now!" Latoya ব্যক্ত "I think I'm going to leave before we start arguing." As she shut the door, I ব্যক্ত "that's the best idea you've had since আপনি got here!"
Later that night, I carried AJ into my bedroom and put her underneath the covers. As I lay there পরবর্তি to her while she drank from her bottle and watch TV, I couldn't help but think about what Latoya had ব্যক্ত earlier today. Maybe she's right! Maybe I am selfishly trying to keep my "baby" from growing up. I mean; AJ still hasn't slept in her বিছানা since the দিন I bought it for her! Plus, with a new baby on the way it would be nice for her to be a little bit আরো independent. I don't know about all this stuff! I just want her to need me forever! I don't know if I'm ready to face the fact that I can't stop AJ from growing up! Even at Neverland; the place where nobody grows up!
***
I opened my eyes this morning to see AJ jumping up and down at the foot of my bed. I ব্যক্ত "good morning" and picked her up. I carried her downstairs and asked a প্রশ্ন I already knew the answer to "are আপনি sure আপনি still want to drink from this baby bottle." She ব্যক্ত "yeah daddy." I looked at the one sippy cup I had purchased that was sitting on the counter; still inside the packaging. I was ready to pass the bottle to her and then at the last সেকেন্ড opened it up. She asked "what are আপনি doing daddy. I put the bottle down on the counter and ripped open the sippy cup packaging. AJ's eyes widened as she watched me pour the চকোলেট দুধ out of the bottle and into the sippy cup.
I passed it to her and she ব্যক্ত "you have to put it back in my bottle daddy!" I knelt down in front of her and calmly ব্যক্ত "I think you're too old for the baby bottles now. Why don't আপনি try drinking from this instead?" She threw it on the ground and pointed toward the bottle on the counter. I picked the sippy cup up and ব্যক্ত "this isn't that different AJ! Its still the same চকোলেট দুধ like before; just in a sippy cup this time!" She stomped her feet and ব্যক্ত angrily "I don't want that!"
I opened up the cupboard and ব্যক্ত "I think it's time for daddy to just throw all the bottles away." Her eyes started to water as I began to put all of the bottles into the trashcan. দ্বারা the time I got to the last bottle, she was having a full-blown meltdown on the রান্নাঘর floor. I ব্যক্ত "it really isn't that big of a deal AJ!" She whined "just let me keep one bottle daddy; please!" I didn't like seeing her so upset and it was really bothering me; but I knew that it was better to get it over with now when she is still little.
I picked up the cup and put it on the coffee টেবিল in the living room. She followed me in there and I ব্যক্ত "I'm not going to force আপনি to drink from this; but I'm not going to give আপনি a bottle anymore either AJ! আপনি don't need that anymore!" She threw the cup off of the টেবিল and literally cried from that moment on until it was time for her to go to sleep. I felt terrible because she was refusing to drink anything; even after eating. As we sat there watching TV in my bedroom, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and I couldn't help but feel like I really was hurting her দ্বারা taking the bottles away. I rubbed her back and surprisingly she reached for the sippy cup on the nightstand. I passed it to her and she looked at it hesitating a few times before she actually took a sip out of it. I honestly was relieved because the আরো she cried the harder it was for me not to give in to her. I knew it was only a matter of time before she broke me!
I ব্যক্ত "there আপনি go AJ! I told আপনি that wasn't that big of a deal!" She ব্যক্ত "yeah; just get me a different color cup পরবর্তি time because I really don't like পরাকাষ্ঠা daddy!" I ব্যক্ত "I know আপনি don't and I promise আপনি that I'll get আপনি a different one tomorrow." After the all-day battle I just went through, I was just glad to have it over with! Sometimes I just wish that parenting came with instructions. I প্রণয় being a single dad; but sometimes she wears me out. To think that this is just the beginning of that crazy thing called "fatherhood." What did I get myself into?
***
"You have to sleep in your room AJ" she pleaded with me "no daddy; why daddy?" I asked "why don't আপনি want to sleep in here?" She responded "what about the monsters daddy?" I asked "what do আপনি mean?" She asked again "what about the monsters in my room?" I ব্যক্ত "there's no monsters! Monsters aren't real AJ!" She ব্যক্ত "yeah they are daddy because I saw one under my bed!" I looked underneath her বিছানা and she ব্যক্ত "see that thing all the way back there!" I reached underneath the বিছানা and pulled out a jumbo sized teddy bear. She ব্যক্ত "oh; I thought that was a monster." I chuckled and put her underneath the covers. She asked "promise the monsters aren't real?" I ব্যক্ত "yes I promise and even if they were, I wouldn't let them hurt আপনি AJ; I've protect আপনি no matter what!" She gave me a চুম্বন on the cheek and I turned on her TV before shutting the bedroom light off.
As I lay there in বিছানা দ্বারা myself for the first time in months, it was almost as if I wanted AJ to be scared just so she would need me. I expected her to be a lot আরো upset that she is and I honestly think that this is harder on me than it is on her. Within about 20 minutes, she had fallen asleep; but I was still wide awake. It was a good thing that I was having trouble sleeping because when I walked into her room she was practically falling out of the bed. I think it's because she got so used to sleeping in such a huge বিছানা that her বিছানা was kind of small. I carefully picked her up and put her in the center of the mattress. I'm just starting to realize that I'm slowly losing my "baby" and deep inside it's killing me! I hope she will always need me for something because if she doesn't I don't know how going to handle it!
***
Grace quickly followed me off the airplane while I carried AJ in my arms. I ব্যক্ত "I'm definitely going to have to use to touring again since it's been so long." I always get worried going into strange hotels; especially with AJ because the press is just so awful. The মিনিট we entered the parking lot to the hotel, photographers started asking me questions. "Michael, are আপনি excited to be on tour again? Can আপনি look this way Michael?" I normally wouldn't say anything to them; but they all could obviously see that the flashes from the cameras were bothering AJ's eyes. I ব্যক্ত "you know; I wouldn't mind answering your প্রশ্ন if you'd stop taking so many pictures! Can't আপনি see that it's bothering her? I mean seriously! She's only two years old!" Of course they ignored what I had to say; but that's nothing new! All they care about is getting a good picture to sell to some tabloid magazine for money!
After leaving Grace with AJ for the day, I headed over for rehearsals because tomorrow is the first সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান of my "history" tour. I walked inside the arena and Frank greeted me. He asked "are আপনি ready to hit the stage again Michael?" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; I guess so." He responded "I thought আপনি would be a lot আরো excited than আপনি are!" I asked "how do আপনি expect me to be excited when my daughter is in a hotel room without me?" Frank ব্যক্ত "I know আপনি miss Alanna Michael; but আপনি have to try to look at the bright side! You're providing her with everything she could possibly need দ্বারা doing this tour and just think about it; আপনি won't have to go on tour for a long time after this!" I ব্যক্ত "I get where you're coming from Frank; but that doesn't change the fact that I feel that I should be there for my daughter! Enough talking; I just want to get this tour done and over with!"
I can honestly say that I've never been so unhappy rehearsing for a সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান like I am today! I really didn't want to be doing this because I wanted to be with AJ every সেকেন্ড of the day. I couldn't handle how selfish Frank was being in regards to my feelings! He just doesn't understand what it's like to be away from your child all দিন long! He's being way too insensitive; I'm just glad that I have three days off after the first সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান tomorrow because I have a feeling I'm going to need it!
***
It was 10 o'clock at night and I had just finished the last long of my first concert. I quickly ran offstage and Frank ব্যক্ত "that was amazing Michael!!!" I ব্যক্ত "whatever Frank; just please take me back to the hotel because I miss AJ!" I dashed out the back door without even looking back at Frank and hopped into the car that Jeffrey was waiting in outside the back door to the arena. I ব্যক্ত "straight to the hotel Jeffrey; step on it!" Jeffrey responded "of course Mr. Jackson; right away!"
I ran up to the hotel room and took out the key to the door. As the door opened, I was puzzled because I saw AJ sitting in the living room area all দ্বারা herself. I ব্যক্ত "hi AJ; where is Grace?" She pointed to one of the separate bedrooms and as I approached the door I heard the sound of crying. I lightly knocked on the door and Grace opened it up. I looked at her as tears streamed down her face and asked "what's wrong? Why are আপনি crying?" She ব্যক্ত "about an ঘন্টা ago, one of my sisters called me and told me that she has just been diagnosed with incurable lung cancer! She only has six months left to live!" I ব্যক্ত "that's terrible; I insist that আপনি take six months off from work to take care of her!" She hesitated to say "I couldn't put আপনি in that type of situation Michael! There's no way I can leave while you're on tour because there's no one to watch Alanna!" I ব্যক্ত "I won't take no for an answer! Trust me; AJ can just hang around backstage at the concerts while I'm performing. I miss her too much anyway! That will work out fine for all of us!" Grace ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি so much Michael!" I ব্যক্ত "I'll make sure that আপনি get on the পরবর্তি flight down to see your sister! I think the terminal closes soon so আপনি probably need to hurry!"
A few মিনিট later, Grace ran out of the room with her suitcase in her hands. As she shut the door, AJ asked "daddy; where is she going?" I ব্যক্ত "she'll be back soon! In the meantime, it's just going to be আপনি and I!" She ব্যক্ত "I missed আপনি a lot today daddy; what are we going to do tomorrow?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't know; but we'll have fun!"
***
I was anticipating a large shipment of some of the things from Neverland to arrive at the hotel room. Movers started bringing boxes of our things into the huge hotel room and I thanked them as they left. AJ walked over and pulled something out of one of the boxes. I sat down পরবর্তি to her on the floor and she passed me an action figure. She asked "who is that?" I ব্যক্ত "that's Spiderman! He's a superhero!" She ব্যক্ত "he looks cool daddy!" I ব্যক্ত "I have some Spiderman cartoons. আপনি want to watch them with me?" She ব্যক্ত "yeah; I do!" I have to say that I'm starting to realize that AJ really doesn't like anything girly and I think it's really cute. আপনি should have seen how mesmerized she was দ্বারা those "amazing Spiderman" episodes!
***Arthur's note***
Just so আপনি know, this chapter will be বিভক্ত করা up into two parts. AJ age 2 is just getting started! Thanks for reading!
Smack, I was woken up once again in the middle of the night দ্বারা my two-year-old daughter's tiny feet kicking me in the face as she slept. I know what you're thinking; why is she not sleeping in her own বিছানা yet? The answer to that প্রশ্ন is that I just can't handle listening to her cry! It's the worst thing in the world and it's easier just to give in to her! I can tell that Grace is just dying to rub the fact that she might be right in my face! I like the dynamic that Grace and I have because she keeps her distance when I'm home. Usually I send her down to see her family when my work schedule isn't too busy and I have time off to watch Alanna as a single parent. I like how Grace gives me complete control over anything to do with Alanna. I was really worried that she would be too overpowering and insist that things be done her way! A lot of my other celebrity বন্ধু that have kids complain about how their nanny likes to be in control when it comes to how they raise their children. That's definitely not the case with Grace because the সেকেন্ড I get প্রথমপাতা from any of my business obligations that day, she retreats up to her room and lets me be Alanna's daddy! Grace knows that there are boundaries when it comes to being a nanny! Basically 85% of the time I'm paying her just to keep her distance; but she is definitely not complaining about that! In her words "it's the easiest paycheck she's ever earned!"
I was able to go back to sleep after Alanna had stopped kicking me in the face and I was hoping she wouldn't start up again! A few hours later at around 8 AM, I got out of বিছানা and that caused Alanna to wake up. I picked her up and ব্যক্ত "good morning sleepyhead! আপনি ready to go downstairs?" She rubbed her eyes and shook her head in agreement. I changed her out of her pajamas and carried her downstairs to the রান্নাঘর table. I placed her in the booster আসন that now replaced her high chair and I poured a bowl of "fruit loops." I put it down in front of her on শীর্ষ of the placemat which had all the letters of the alphabet printed on it. I sat down পরবর্তি to her and she moved the bowl out of her way. I pointed down at the placemat and asked "do আপনি remember what letter your name starts with? Remember which one I showed you?" She pointed down at the "A" and I ব্যক্ত "very good!" Then she ব্যক্ত "then the other name is a 'J' name!" I ব্যক্ত "that's right; Jackson does start with that letter! I'm surprised আপনি remembered! Your full name is Alanna Michael Jackson!"
After she was done eating, I helped her get down from the টেবিল and we went into her play room. I asked "what do আপনি want to do today Alanna?" She ব্যক্ত "daddy, I don't like it when আপনি call me that!" I asked confused "call আপনি what?" She ব্যক্ত "Alanna" and I asked "you don't? Then what do আপনি want me to call you?" She ব্যক্ত "call me AJ! I like that better because it's not a girlie name daddy!" I asked "you don't want to be daddy's princess?" She ব্যক্ত with a disgusted look on her face "no; princesses are boring daddy!" I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "well then; I'm glad আপনি clarified that for me because I wasn't aware that princesses are boring!" She ব্যক্ত "especially snow white daddy because she doesn't sing good at all!" I almost doubled over in laughter because of how serious and adamant my daughter was about her irritation with the ডিজনি princesses. I do think it's a little weird though because most two-year-old girls প্রণয় anything to do with princesses! I guess my two-year-old is an exception to that stereotype.
***
I crept up the stairs and up to Alanna's bedroom door because it was extremely quiet. Quietness usually means she's up to no good and quite frankly I didn't know if I wanted to know what she was doing. I slowly pushed the door open and was stunned দ্বারা what I saw. My mouth dropped open as I asked slowly "what – did – আপনি – do?" She looked up at me with scissors in her hands and a HUGE chunk of her beautiful blonde hair missing off the side of her head! I gently turned her head with my hand and just shook my head in disbelief. I walked out of the room and calmly ব্যক্ত "um grace; I think আপনি may want to come see this." She smiled and asked "why? What's going – oh my God!!!" She chuckled and that made me start to laugh as I ব্যক্ত "why are we laughing? This isn't the least bit funny!" Grace forced out of the words "she's so goofy looking with her hair like that Michael! What are we going to do? She can't stay like that until it grows back in!"
I walked out of the room and came back carrying a pair of professional scissors in my hands. Grace chuckled and ব্যক্ত "if you're thinking of cutting it yourself than I have a feeling this is going to end very badly!" I continued to laugh as I was forced to cut Alanna's hair just to the length of her ears; so it would be equal to the absolutely atrocious mess she had created on the opposite side of her head. I stood back to see the final product and ব্যক্ত "it's definitely not perfect; but it's better than what she had before! AJ, please don't ever try to cut your own hair again. আপনি should have just ব্যক্ত আপনি wanted your haircut shorter! Where did আপনি get those scissors from anyway?"
I watched as my daughter climbed across the bookshelf in her room as if she was a monkey and threw a plastic box down to the ground. I sifted through the box and asked "I thought there was a whole bunch of permanent markers in this box too!" Alanna ব্যক্ত "oh; আপনি mean the paints! I used the blue one daddy." I hesitated nervously to ask "where?" She pointed to the দেওয়াল behind me and I turned around to see gigantic blue scribbles everywhere! I put my hand over my mouth and whispered "why would আপনি do that AJ?" She responded "I wanted to paint my room blue because I don't like the পরাকাষ্ঠা daddy!" I chuckled with nervous laughter as I ব্যক্ত "yeah; but sweetheart that wasn't paint! That was permanent marker!"
She grabbed a baby wipe from the box that was in her room and walked over to the wall. She ব্যক্ত "I can wash it off daddy!" I couldn't help but smile as I glanced upward at my two-year-old who was desperately trying to get the marker off the wall. I was trying to act upset with her অথবা make it seem like I was sad; but I couldn't help but laugh at how cute she looked! I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "I promise আপনি AJ; a baby wipe is not going to work!" In the blink of an eye, she picked up the blue marker again and started coloring on the walls like nothing was wrong! I ran up to her and ব্যক্ত "whoa, whoa, whoa, don't make it worse AJ! What are আপনি doing?" She ব্যক্ত "I told আপনি daddy; I'm painting my room blue!" I ব্যক্ত "if আপনি want me to have your room painted blue then we can do that; but আপনি are not going to do it yourself with a permanent marker! Besides, don't আপনি think it would take আপনি a long time to cover your entire দেওয়াল with that one little marker?" She threw the marker on the ground feeling defeated and I scooped her up into my arms. I started to tickle her and ব্যক্ত "you know that you're going to make daddy's hair turn gray sooner! আপনি silly goose! পরবর্তি time, stay away from the box that I use when I work on your baby book! The whole reason why I put it on the শীর্ষ shelf in the first place was so that আপনি couldn't get to it! No আরো markers অথবা scissors for you!"
***
I ব্যক্ত "remember; I told আপনি that it's not nice to hit people AJ!" She ব্যক্ত "give me a cookie and I won't hit আপনি daddy!" I ব্যক্ত as I started to get irritated with her for the first time ever "no; that's not how it works AJ. I'm your daddy and I make the rules; not you." Grace looked on as she saw me getting aggravated. I ব্যক্ত something that I thought I would never say to my perfect little angel. I ব্যক্ত "maybe it's time for me to put আপনি in timeout. I heard Grace whisper "alright Mike; I've been waiting for আপনি to say those words for a long time now!" Alanna asked "what's timeout?" I looked at Grace and smirked as I ব্যক্ত "I'll put আপনি in a chair and you'll have to sit there and think about why you're not listening to me! আপনি won't be allowed to get up from the chair until I come talk to you!" AJ laughed and ব্যক্ত "you won't do that to me daddy because even আপনি ব্যক্ত I'm too cute!" I ব্যক্ত sternly "if আপনি hit me again you'll see that I'm not joking!"
I think AJ wanted to test my patience because she immediately slapped my leg and looked up at me. A little voice in the back of my head kept saying "you can't punish her Michael! She's your little baby! She's too cute to be in trouble! আপনি don't want to be like Joseph; do you?" I ignored that voice and picked her up. I pulled a chair out from the রান্নাঘর টেবিল and placed her on it. I knelt down in front of her and ব্যক্ত "I told আপনি that if আপনি hit me again আপনি would be going to timeout. Now আপনি stay here and think about why it's not nice to hit people and I'll be back in a few minutes! For 30 seconds, AJ just looked back and forth between me and the chair that she was sitting in because I don't think she actually thought that I would follow through with the timeout. After she got over the initial shock, she climbed out of the chair and I immediately chased after her.
I caught up to her and without saying a word to her brought her back to the chair. Then she got up again and again numerous times. It was starting to become a game of cat and মাউস because she decided she was going to hide underneath the table. I had to climb under there with her so I could reach her and she looked like she was having the time of her life. After I brought her back to the chair that time, she decided to try a different tactic on me to see how dedicated I was. She started crying and I had to look away because I knew that was my one and only weakness. She asked "daddy, why do আপনি keep bringing me back here? It's not nice!"
After she had served a full two মিনিট without getting out of the chair I walked up to her and knelt down in front of her. I calmly ব্যক্ত "do আপনি know why I put আপনি here?" She responded "because it wasn't nice for me to hit you!" I ব্যক্ত "yes and because আপনি wouldn't listen to me when I told আপনি to stop hitting me!" She asked "can I get up now daddy?" I ব্যক্ত "I want আপনি to say you're sorry to me for not listening and hitting first." She reluctantly ব্যক্ত "I'm sorry daddy!" I hugged her and ব্যক্ত "I accept your apology. Can I have kisses?" She lightly pecked my lips and ran off into the other room.
Grace looked at me and ব্যক্ত "congratulations on your first successful timeout Mr. Michael! I have to admit that I didn't think আপনি had it in আপনি to deal with all that crying! I'm impressed!" I ব্যক্ত "I didn't know I had it in me either! I thought it was funny though when she kept getting up from the chair because with all the years I've spent perfecting my dance moves there's no way she could wear me out. Now that she knows that I will follow through with timeouts I'm hoping she'll be better behaved. I doubt it; but I can hope! I was a little worried when she went underneath the টেবিল because I didn't know if I was going to be able to reach her; but luckily my arms were just long enough! I have a feeling that AJ's going to be spending a lot of time sitting in that chair! Just because she can be so stubborn and she never gives up!"
***
Jeffrey pulled up in front of my friend Arnie's dermatologist office and I unbuckled AJ from her car seat. I didn't want to wake her up because she had fallen asleep; so I carefully rested her head on my shoulder and walked inside as Jeffrey pulled out of the driveway. I quietly opened the front door and walked inside with her in my arms. I noticed Debbie behind the front desk; but she didn't seem to realize that I had just come inside. I didn't want to draw attention to myself because I didn't know how she would react to seeing her daughter for the first time since she's been born.
I coughed and Debbie must've recognized that it was me because without looking up from the computer screen in front of her she ব্যক্ত "hey Michael; Arnie told me you'd be stopping দ্বারা today to pick up something that he took from আপনি last weekend. I have it over here if আপনি want to come grab it." I carefully walked up to the ডেস্ক with AJ in my arms and Debbie looked up from the computer screen. She immediately looked at AJ and smiled from ear to ear. She whispered "oh my gosh Michael; I didn't know আপনি were bringing Alanna with you!!!" Debbie walked out from behind the ডেস্ক and over to me. She ran her fingers through our daughter's short blonde hair and ব্যক্ত "she looks so much like me it's crazy!" I smiled and ব্যক্ত "I know; I'm hoping she'll start to look আরো like me as she gets older because that's going to be hard to explain to her." Debbie ব্যক্ত "stay here for a few মিনিট so we can catch up! I haven't seen আপনি in two years!"
I sat down in the chair পরবর্তি to her and she asked "so; how do আপনি like being a daddy?" I ব্যক্ত "I প্রণয় it! I still can't thank আপনি enough for making all this possible for me!" She responded "it's no big deal Michael; I was আরো than happy to do it for you!" I ব্যক্ত "I was actually thinking that it might be time for আপনি and I to try for a সেকেন্ড baby!" Debbie ব্যক্ত "I had a feeling the conversation was headed in this direction!" I ব্যক্ত "my bodyguard Jeffrey and Alanna's nanny started their two months of paid vacation today and I need a ride প্রথমপাতা because Jeffrey had to leave to get to the airport on time for his flight. I was actually hoping that আপনি would give AJ and I a ride back to Neverland when you're shift ends in a few minutes?" She ব্যক্ত "of course I can Michael! I was actually just about ready to close the office up for the night."
After Debbie had locked up the office, she drove AJ and I back to the ranch. I invited her inside and she followed me upstairs while I went to go leave AJ in her room; so she could finish taking a nap. Debbie followed me into my bedroom and just as we were finishing "creating my potential সেকেন্ড child" I heard a tiny voice say "daddy; where's my bottle at?" Debbie chuckled at the awkwardness of the circumstances the two of us were in and I ব্যক্ত "sneak out the hidden staircase so she doesn't wonder what we were doing in here!"
Meanwhile, AJ stood on the outside of my locked bedroom door waiting for an answer from me. After Debbie had snuck out, I opened the door and asked "what are আপনি looking for sweetie?" She ব্যক্ত "my bottle." I ব্যক্ত "oh; I think I left the bottle আপনি had in the car that Jeffrey took to the airport! That's okay because I'll make আপনি another one!"
***
I stood outside AJ's bedroom door with her and asked "are আপনি ready to see your room painted blue?" She jumped with excitement and I opened the door to reveal a freshly painted dark blue bedroom. She ব্যক্ত "wow; thank আপনি daddy!" I ব্যক্ত as I walked inside and sat down on her বিছানা "you're welcome. Does this mean now that your room is painted you're going to start sleeping in your bed?" She ব্যক্ত "no; I like sleeping in your room daddy!" I looked out the window to see Debbie's car pulling up; so I unlocked the door with the keypad that was inside the house and gestured from the window for her to come inside.
She walked up the steps and into AJ's room. She ব্যক্ত "hi Alanna; how are you?" AJ ran behind me and started to act shy because she didn't recognize Debbie at all. I asked "can আপনি tell Mrs. Debbie hello?" AJ just looked at Debbie and hid her face again. I smiled at Debbie and asked "what brings আপনি here today?" She ব্যক্ত "I think you're going to have to start emptying out another bedroom Michael!" I smiled and ব্যক্ত "no way; you're pregnant again!" She responded "yup! I would প্রদর্শনী আপনি the pregnancy test; but I dropped it in between the আসন and the center console of my car. Trust me though; it's definitely a positive test!" I picked up AJ and ব্যক্ত "Mrs. Debbie is going to have another baby! Do আপনি know what that means?" She asked "what?" I ব্যক্ত "it means you're going to be a big sister!!!" She asked "where is the baby at then?" Debbie and I chuckled and I ব্যক্ত "you're not going to see the baby for a while because it's growing in her belly right now!" She just looked at me confused and I put her down on the ground; so she could continue running around her bedroom. I ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি so much Debbie!!! I can't even begin to tell আপনি how grateful I am that আপনি would do this for me!" Debbie ব্যক্ত "you really need to stop saying thank আপনি to me Michael! I told আপনি that this is just a gift from one friend to another!" I ব্যক্ত "I know, I know, I just can't help it!"
***
I've already told most of my family that Debbie’s expecting again, the only person I have yet to tell is my sister Latoya; that's why I'm inviting her over today. She knocked on the front door and I invited her into the living room. She immediately asked "where is Jeffrey at?" I ব্যক্ত "he and Alanna's nanny just started their two months paid vacation a few days ago; so it'll just be AJ, a few of the Neverland staff members, and I for a while.” Latoya looked at me with a worried expression of her face and sat down পরবর্তি to me on the couch. She asked "you don't mind taking care of Alanna all দ্বারা yourself for two months?" I ব্যক্ত "of course not Latoya! I প্রণয় it! I really am just a normal dad! I don't have nine different caretakers watching over AJ all দিন like most of the other celebrity parents do!!!" She asked trying to change the subject "what did আপনি want to tell me? What's the big news?" I ব্যক্ত "oh yeah; I almost forgot to tell you! I'm going to be a father again; Debbie's expecting!" Latoya responded "wow; that's great Michael!!!"
Alanna came up to me after leaving the play room she was in and hugged Latoya. Latoya kissed her forehead and AJ walked back over to me. I asked "what's the matter? Did আপনি want me to put another প্রদর্শনী on the TV in there for you?" AJ ব্যক্ত "no, I'm still watching Scooby Doo. I need আপনি to change me daddy!" I grabbed the bottle out of her hands and Latoya looked at it disgusted. I rolled my eyes and asked "what's wrong Latoya?" She asked "don't আপনি think she's way too old to be drinking out of that baby bottle at two years old?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't really see the point in taking it away from her because it's not really doing any harm!" She ব্যক্ত "that's not the point I'm trying to make Michael! AJ is WAY too old for baby bottles! আপনি should have gotten rid of those a long time ago." I ব্যক্ত "you don't really have a lot of room to talk because আপনি don't even have kids!" She ব্যক্ত "I'm just trying to help আপনি Michael! Also, if AJ is telling আপনি when she needs to be changed then it's probably a good idea to start potty training." I ব্যক্ত "well; I appreciate that আপনি want help; but I don't feel the need to deal with any of that stuff right now!" Latoya ব্যক্ত "I think I'm going to leave before we start arguing." As she shut the door, I ব্যক্ত "that's the best idea you've had since আপনি got here!"
Later that night, I carried AJ into my bedroom and put her underneath the covers. As I lay there পরবর্তি to her while she drank from her bottle and watch TV, I couldn't help but think about what Latoya had ব্যক্ত earlier today. Maybe she's right! Maybe I am selfishly trying to keep my "baby" from growing up. I mean; AJ still hasn't slept in her বিছানা since the দিন I bought it for her! Plus, with a new baby on the way it would be nice for her to be a little bit আরো independent. I don't know about all this stuff! I just want her to need me forever! I don't know if I'm ready to face the fact that I can't stop AJ from growing up! Even at Neverland; the place where nobody grows up!
***
I opened my eyes this morning to see AJ jumping up and down at the foot of my bed. I ব্যক্ত "good morning" and picked her up. I carried her downstairs and asked a প্রশ্ন I already knew the answer to "are আপনি sure আপনি still want to drink from this baby bottle." She ব্যক্ত "yeah daddy." I looked at the one sippy cup I had purchased that was sitting on the counter; still inside the packaging. I was ready to pass the bottle to her and then at the last সেকেন্ড opened it up. She asked "what are আপনি doing daddy. I put the bottle down on the counter and ripped open the sippy cup packaging. AJ's eyes widened as she watched me pour the চকোলেট দুধ out of the bottle and into the sippy cup.
I passed it to her and she ব্যক্ত "you have to put it back in my bottle daddy!" I knelt down in front of her and calmly ব্যক্ত "I think you're too old for the baby bottles now. Why don't আপনি try drinking from this instead?" She threw it on the ground and pointed toward the bottle on the counter. I picked the sippy cup up and ব্যক্ত "this isn't that different AJ! Its still the same চকোলেট দুধ like before; just in a sippy cup this time!" She stomped her feet and ব্যক্ত angrily "I don't want that!"
I opened up the cupboard and ব্যক্ত "I think it's time for daddy to just throw all the bottles away." Her eyes started to water as I began to put all of the bottles into the trashcan. দ্বারা the time I got to the last bottle, she was having a full-blown meltdown on the রান্নাঘর floor. I ব্যক্ত "it really isn't that big of a deal AJ!" She whined "just let me keep one bottle daddy; please!" I didn't like seeing her so upset and it was really bothering me; but I knew that it was better to get it over with now when she is still little.
I picked up the cup and put it on the coffee টেবিল in the living room. She followed me in there and I ব্যক্ত "I'm not going to force আপনি to drink from this; but I'm not going to give আপনি a bottle anymore either AJ! আপনি don't need that anymore!" She threw the cup off of the টেবিল and literally cried from that moment on until it was time for her to go to sleep. I felt terrible because she was refusing to drink anything; even after eating. As we sat there watching TV in my bedroom, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and I couldn't help but feel like I really was hurting her দ্বারা taking the bottles away. I rubbed her back and surprisingly she reached for the sippy cup on the nightstand. I passed it to her and she looked at it hesitating a few times before she actually took a sip out of it. I honestly was relieved because the আরো she cried the harder it was for me not to give in to her. I knew it was only a matter of time before she broke me!
I ব্যক্ত "there আপনি go AJ! I told আপনি that wasn't that big of a deal!" She ব্যক্ত "yeah; just get me a different color cup পরবর্তি time because I really don't like পরাকাষ্ঠা daddy!" I ব্যক্ত "I know আপনি don't and I promise আপনি that I'll get আপনি a different one tomorrow." After the all-day battle I just went through, I was just glad to have it over with! Sometimes I just wish that parenting came with instructions. I প্রণয় being a single dad; but sometimes she wears me out. To think that this is just the beginning of that crazy thing called "fatherhood." What did I get myself into?
***
"You have to sleep in your room AJ" she pleaded with me "no daddy; why daddy?" I asked "why don't আপনি want to sleep in here?" She responded "what about the monsters daddy?" I asked "what do আপনি mean?" She asked again "what about the monsters in my room?" I ব্যক্ত "there's no monsters! Monsters aren't real AJ!" She ব্যক্ত "yeah they are daddy because I saw one under my bed!" I looked underneath her বিছানা and she ব্যক্ত "see that thing all the way back there!" I reached underneath the বিছানা and pulled out a jumbo sized teddy bear. She ব্যক্ত "oh; I thought that was a monster." I chuckled and put her underneath the covers. She asked "promise the monsters aren't real?" I ব্যক্ত "yes I promise and even if they were, I wouldn't let them hurt আপনি AJ; I've protect আপনি no matter what!" She gave me a চুম্বন on the cheek and I turned on her TV before shutting the bedroom light off.
As I lay there in বিছানা দ্বারা myself for the first time in months, it was almost as if I wanted AJ to be scared just so she would need me. I expected her to be a lot আরো upset that she is and I honestly think that this is harder on me than it is on her. Within about 20 minutes, she had fallen asleep; but I was still wide awake. It was a good thing that I was having trouble sleeping because when I walked into her room she was practically falling out of the bed. I think it's because she got so used to sleeping in such a huge বিছানা that her বিছানা was kind of small. I carefully picked her up and put her in the center of the mattress. I'm just starting to realize that I'm slowly losing my "baby" and deep inside it's killing me! I hope she will always need me for something because if she doesn't I don't know how going to handle it!
***
Grace quickly followed me off the airplane while I carried AJ in my arms. I ব্যক্ত "I'm definitely going to have to use to touring again since it's been so long." I always get worried going into strange hotels; especially with AJ because the press is just so awful. The মিনিট we entered the parking lot to the hotel, photographers started asking me questions. "Michael, are আপনি excited to be on tour again? Can আপনি look this way Michael?" I normally wouldn't say anything to them; but they all could obviously see that the flashes from the cameras were bothering AJ's eyes. I ব্যক্ত "you know; I wouldn't mind answering your প্রশ্ন if you'd stop taking so many pictures! Can't আপনি see that it's bothering her? I mean seriously! She's only two years old!" Of course they ignored what I had to say; but that's nothing new! All they care about is getting a good picture to sell to some tabloid magazine for money!
After leaving Grace with AJ for the day, I headed over for rehearsals because tomorrow is the first সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান of my "history" tour. I walked inside the arena and Frank greeted me. He asked "are আপনি ready to hit the stage again Michael?" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; I guess so." He responded "I thought আপনি would be a lot আরো excited than আপনি are!" I asked "how do আপনি expect me to be excited when my daughter is in a hotel room without me?" Frank ব্যক্ত "I know আপনি miss Alanna Michael; but আপনি have to try to look at the bright side! You're providing her with everything she could possibly need দ্বারা doing this tour and just think about it; আপনি won't have to go on tour for a long time after this!" I ব্যক্ত "I get where you're coming from Frank; but that doesn't change the fact that I feel that I should be there for my daughter! Enough talking; I just want to get this tour done and over with!"
I can honestly say that I've never been so unhappy rehearsing for a সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান like I am today! I really didn't want to be doing this because I wanted to be with AJ every সেকেন্ড of the day. I couldn't handle how selfish Frank was being in regards to my feelings! He just doesn't understand what it's like to be away from your child all দিন long! He's being way too insensitive; I'm just glad that I have three days off after the first সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান tomorrow because I have a feeling I'm going to need it!
***
It was 10 o'clock at night and I had just finished the last long of my first concert. I quickly ran offstage and Frank ব্যক্ত "that was amazing Michael!!!" I ব্যক্ত "whatever Frank; just please take me back to the hotel because I miss AJ!" I dashed out the back door without even looking back at Frank and hopped into the car that Jeffrey was waiting in outside the back door to the arena. I ব্যক্ত "straight to the hotel Jeffrey; step on it!" Jeffrey responded "of course Mr. Jackson; right away!"
I ran up to the hotel room and took out the key to the door. As the door opened, I was puzzled because I saw AJ sitting in the living room area all দ্বারা herself. I ব্যক্ত "hi AJ; where is Grace?" She pointed to one of the separate bedrooms and as I approached the door I heard the sound of crying. I lightly knocked on the door and Grace opened it up. I looked at her as tears streamed down her face and asked "what's wrong? Why are আপনি crying?" She ব্যক্ত "about an ঘন্টা ago, one of my sisters called me and told me that she has just been diagnosed with incurable lung cancer! She only has six months left to live!" I ব্যক্ত "that's terrible; I insist that আপনি take six months off from work to take care of her!" She hesitated to say "I couldn't put আপনি in that type of situation Michael! There's no way I can leave while you're on tour because there's no one to watch Alanna!" I ব্যক্ত "I won't take no for an answer! Trust me; AJ can just hang around backstage at the concerts while I'm performing. I miss her too much anyway! That will work out fine for all of us!" Grace ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি so much Michael!" I ব্যক্ত "I'll make sure that আপনি get on the পরবর্তি flight down to see your sister! I think the terminal closes soon so আপনি probably need to hurry!"
A few মিনিট later, Grace ran out of the room with her suitcase in her hands. As she shut the door, AJ asked "daddy; where is she going?" I ব্যক্ত "she'll be back soon! In the meantime, it's just going to be আপনি and I!" She ব্যক্ত "I missed আপনি a lot today daddy; what are we going to do tomorrow?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't know; but we'll have fun!"
***
I was anticipating a large shipment of some of the things from Neverland to arrive at the hotel room. Movers started bringing boxes of our things into the huge hotel room and I thanked them as they left. AJ walked over and pulled something out of one of the boxes. I sat down পরবর্তি to her on the floor and she passed me an action figure. She asked "who is that?" I ব্যক্ত "that's Spiderman! He's a superhero!" She ব্যক্ত "he looks cool daddy!" I ব্যক্ত "I have some Spiderman cartoons. আপনি want to watch them with me?" She ব্যক্ত "yeah; I do!" I have to say that I'm starting to realize that AJ really doesn't like anything girly and I think it's really cute. আপনি should have seen how mesmerized she was দ্বারা those "amazing Spiderman" episodes!
***Arthur's note***
Just so আপনি know, this chapter will be বিভক্ত করা up into two parts. AJ age 2 is just getting started! Thanks for reading!