Niall Horan Fanfic Chapter 21: My হৃদয় Will Go On
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He ব্যক্ত his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat পরবর্তি to me.
“Hazel?” he ব্যক্ত questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for আপনি every step of the way. Not just Niall. আপনি can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He ব্যক্ত putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in বিছানা back at the hotel. I don’t know how অথবা when I got there, অথবা how অথবা when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are আপনি going to get up?” he ব্যক্ত sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me আপনি know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I ব্যক্ত nodding my head.
“Ally,” he ব্যক্ত pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want আপনি to be happy. To get up every দিন and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved আপনি and would want আপনি to go on, with অথবা without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I ব্যক্ত half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I ব্যক্ত beginning to cry.
“Of course আপনি will.” He ব্যক্ত grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his হৃদয় beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I ব্যক্ত again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die অথবা leave you.” He ব্যক্ত স্নেহ চুম্বন my head.
“Niall, I প্রণয় you.” I said.
“I প্রণয় আপনি too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since আপনি couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go প্রথমপাতা and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I ব্যক্ত beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall ব্যক্ত rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, আপনি were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is আপনি fault. আপনি are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are আপনি going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick আপনি up from the airport. Everything will be okay. আপনি don’t have to do anything আপনি aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will আপনি come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I ব্যক্ত shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going প্রথমপাতা today, actually in a half an ঘন্টা I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. দ্বারা the time আপনি get প্রথমপাতা I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking আপনি to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I ব্যক্ত calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we ব্যক্ত our goodbyes.
“I প্রণয় আপনি okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I প্রণয় you.” He said.
“I প্রণয় আপনি too.” I ব্যক্ত স্নেহ চুম্বন him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all দিন and night sitting on the পালঙ্ক watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do আপনি want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze আপনি haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall ব্যক্ত about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I ব্যক্ত mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. আপনি are still alive, and আপনি need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The পরবর্তি দিন Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see আপনি soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove প্রথমপাতা in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
নমস্কার babe :)Be ready দ্বারা 4 p.m. I প্রণয় আপনি babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I প্রণয় him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He ব্যক্ত his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat পরবর্তি to me.
“Hazel?” he ব্যক্ত questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for আপনি every step of the way. Not just Niall. আপনি can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He ব্যক্ত putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in বিছানা back at the hotel. I don’t know how অথবা when I got there, অথবা how অথবা when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are আপনি going to get up?” he ব্যক্ত sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me আপনি know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I ব্যক্ত nodding my head.
“Ally,” he ব্যক্ত pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want আপনি to be happy. To get up every দিন and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved আপনি and would want আপনি to go on, with অথবা without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I ব্যক্ত half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I ব্যক্ত beginning to cry.
“Of course আপনি will.” He ব্যক্ত grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his হৃদয় beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I ব্যক্ত again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die অথবা leave you.” He ব্যক্ত স্নেহ চুম্বন my head.
“Niall, I প্রণয় you.” I said.
“I প্রণয় আপনি too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since আপনি couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go প্রথমপাতা and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I ব্যক্ত beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall ব্যক্ত rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, আপনি were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is আপনি fault. আপনি are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are আপনি going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick আপনি up from the airport. Everything will be okay. আপনি don’t have to do anything আপনি aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will আপনি come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I ব্যক্ত shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going প্রথমপাতা today, actually in a half an ঘন্টা I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. দ্বারা the time আপনি get প্রথমপাতা I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking আপনি to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I ব্যক্ত calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we ব্যক্ত our goodbyes.
“I প্রণয় আপনি okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I প্রণয় you.” He said.
“I প্রণয় আপনি too.” I ব্যক্ত স্নেহ চুম্বন him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all দিন and night sitting on the পালঙ্ক watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do আপনি want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze আপনি haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall ব্যক্ত about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I ব্যক্ত mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. আপনি are still alive, and আপনি need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The পরবর্তি দিন Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see আপনি soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove প্রথমপাতা in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
নমস্কার babe :)Be ready দ্বারা 4 p.m. I প্রণয় আপনি babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I প্রণয় him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
one direction chasing cars
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
অথবা anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would আপনি lie with me
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are ব্যক্ত too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would আপনি lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
প্রদর্শনী me a garden
That's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
[CHORUS]
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
অথবা anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would আপনি lie with me
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are ব্যক্ত too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would আপনি lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
প্রদর্শনী me a garden
That's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
[CHORUS]
one direction my life would suck without আপনি
Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means আপনি take back
All আপনি ব্যক্ত before
Like how much আপনি wanted
Anyone but me
ব্যক্ত you'd never come back
But here আপনি are again
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
আপনি got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling আপনি goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
[CHORUS]
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let আপনি go
Oh yeah
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
আপনি got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you. X2
Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means আপনি take back
All আপনি ব্যক্ত before
Like how much আপনি wanted
Anyone but me
ব্যক্ত you'd never come back
But here আপনি are again
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
আপনি got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling আপনি goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
[CHORUS]
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let আপনি go
Oh yeah
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
আপনি got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you. X2
One Direction are sadly going to বিভক্ত করা up this march to becomec solo artists for a বছর I'm sure we are all angry at them and want them to stay together forever. But us as অনুরাগী have to understand what they're going through and that nothing lasts forever' God bless them all we will never forget 1D and there amazing times with us.
Guys don't worry TOO much because they are coming back in 2017 thankfully. Me, myself cried a couple nights when I heard the news, but now I know to stay strong and that the worst case of senerio is that they'll বিভক্ত করা forever! ( WHICH HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T!!!). We will miss আপনি 1D!!!!
Guys don't worry TOO much because they are coming back in 2017 thankfully. Me, myself cried a couple nights when I heard the news, but now I know to stay strong and that the worst case of senerio is that they'll বিভক্ত করা forever! ( WHICH HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T!!!). We will miss আপনি 1D!!!!