What do আপনি guys think of my story "Fanged Kingdom"?

It seems rather rushed as if আপনি are glossing over a lot of details that could be expanded on A LOT to make a আরো intriguing story that draws আপনি in.

A lot of the scene could have better been done written out rather than summarized like the whole "The parents couple" to "their own" and even a fair amount before that.

Also আপনি would probably like to avoid using words like "things" and preferably use আরো detailed words like "skills".

And I didnt read the সেকেন্ড chapter, but I skimmed it and just one thing I need to point out

When আপনি have dialogue আপনি need to create a new paragraph any new person speaks. Making it looks like:

"What are আপনি doing?" Bill asked.

"I am doing well." Joe responded.

"Do আপনি like pizza?" Bill asked.

"Why do আপনি keep asking me questions?" Joe responded

Of course with better words than "responded" and "asked" but I wasnt really trying with the writing.

সামগ্রিক in general it sounds nice, a bit generic when compared to the RPs Ive been part it, but it seems to be pretty nice. If আপনি want tips though, the things I listed above should help but in general, আপনি are probably going to want to expand your লেখা and be আরো descriptive.

It's a good story IMO. Btw, don't use "https." Just use "http."