#1:
Mastersword as an interviewer: নমস্কার princess Twilight. Good having আপনি here.

Twilight: Sure.

Sword: First off. How dose it feel being the forth princess ever?

Twilight: (barely even lessoning) Yes. I wouldn't be here without my friends.

Sword: That's nice. But the প্রশ্ন is, how dose it make 'you' feel. YOU!?

Twilight: (still barely lessoning) Yes. That is diffently a প্রশ্ন being asked. And I'm confident in my friends. And getting it done.

Sword: Okay.. Have to be honest with you. I feel like this interview. Is going absolutely nowhere. আপনি answered 'none' of my questions. আপনি kinda sound like a broken automatic response system, that's only been tought 4 phrases.

Twilight: (not lessening) Thanks. It's been an experience.

Sword: *annoyed* Yeah it has!

Twilight: *listing stuff about friendship*

Sword: What are yo- *looks behind him* Are আপনি পাঠ করা cue cards wait now!?.. What is this!?

Twilight: *still পাঠ করা off them*

Sword: (proving point to audience) What's your name lady!?

Twilight: .. Dedication.

Sword: (angrily to camera) Her name is dedication!



#2:

Derpy: Saten. He's not even as dorky as আপনি say he is.

Sword: Wha-

Saten: Well.. I still loved pranking him anyway.

Derpy: (laughs) আপনি did?..

Saten: Yes.. I remember I use to put fibreglass shards in his gym shorts. Every time he had to take a pee. He'd come back crying. *Saten and Derpy laugh*

Sword: It wasn't funny. It was painful.. Wasn't so much the fiber. As it was the glass!.. I had to get a urethra transplant.. And those are COSTLY!

Sword: আপনি should hear his আরো সাম্প্রতিক ones.. (to Saten) Tell her what আপনি did a the other day.

Saten: Well.. I mailed a wild hog to house the other day.

Sword: (angrily) THERE'S GIANT PIG WITH HORNS! LIVING IN THE BASEMENT!

Saten: Plus.. The time before that. We were suppose to have a sleepover at his house., I was planning to sneak laxatives into his cereal.. But the sleep over got canceled so I couldn't get him with that one.

Derpy: Ohh... But the idea was still there.

Saten: Oh! Differently (they highfive)

Sword: (arrogantly) HE DIDN'T GET ME THOUGH! He didn't get me... DidyougetmeSaten? Didyougetme!?

Satan: No-

Sword: No! আপনি did not get me!.. Who didn't get me... Saten Twist.

Saten: আপনি know what.. Fuck it.. Fine. আপনি guys can go out.. But only once.

Sword: Good enough. *leaves*

Sword: Alright Derpy.. Let's go.

Derpy: Fine.

Sword: Just remember one thing tonight. One thing.. Your cousin did NOT get me with poop thing..



#3:

Master Sword: (hiding behind wall) Come on. Come on.

Saten: (walks in) Excuse me I-

Sword: (tackles him and start violently beating him up)... (stops).. Sorry. (pants). I thought আপনি were the mafia.

Saten: N No I'm Saten Twist.

Sword: Who?

Saten: I've been asked to interview you.

Sword: Interview!?. (eyes narrow) Well. আপনি can't interview a dead man now CAN YOU! (jumps out the four story window, and ends up going into ambulance, and he waves evily to Saten, as Saten watches him get lifted into the ambulance).



#4:

Iron will: Welcome. To Iron wills প্রদর্শনী on being assertive.. Here's how being assertive works. আপনি take down who's bigger then you.. Example. Who's the toughest টাট্টু in the crowd?

Sword: (there with Fluttershy) Well. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I believe I hold the extinction o- (gets grabbed দ্বারা Iron will and gets violently beaten up from off view).

Iron Will: Alright. Know who's the funniest?

Sword: I know my way around a jo- (starts getting beat up again).



#5:

Twilight: (sleeping soundly).. (she is suddenly awaken দ্বারা a loud gunshot) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? (runs done stairs, and suddenly gasps)..

Master Sword: (holding pistol, and Santa Clause is seen laying dead from a bullet though his head).. (groans). Before আপনি start.

Twilight: যীশু christ!

Master Sword: (annoyedly) Okay! Before, you, start!

Twilight: চিরশ্যামল গুল্মবিশেষ SHIT!

Master Sword: (annoyed) আপনি gonna let me explain!?

Twilight: (angry) Yes Sword! I would প্রণয় to know why আপনি shot and killed, FATHER CHRISTMAS!

Master Sword: ... He startled me!

Twilight: (annoyed) HE STARTLED YOU!?

Master Sword: He! Startled me!

Twilight: (sarcastically) Oh, guess he should apologize than!

Master Sword: Well. That'll be kinda hard, cause.. I shot him..

Twilight: Great... So what now.

Master Sword: Well. Looks like I better save Christmas..

Twilight: আপনি can't be serious!?

Master Sword: I don't see any other opinion..

Twilight: ... আপনি planned this, didn't you!?

Master sword: Whaaaaat!? No!

Twilight: আপনি planned this! I know আপনি did!

Master Sword: আপনি honestly think I wou-

Spike: (comes out, in elf costume) নমস্কার Sword. The sled is ready, an. (sees twilight). Uh oh..

(long pause).

Master Sword: আপনি would not believe how cheap that elf costume was.

Twilight: (starts growling)

Master Sword: (happily) I গাউন it.

Twilight: SWOOO-

Master Sword: LET ME HAVE MY NIGHTMARE BEFORE বড়দিন MOMENT!!



#6:

Loud police voice: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering) I'LL SHOOT YOUR LEGS OFF!

Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me.

Saten: Sword? আপনি scared th- Oh shit, did আপনি steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!

Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of গাউন it.. Prove.. I did!

Saten: But dude! আপনি can't steal police cars! আপনি know how illage that is!?

Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.

Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.

Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?

(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful কামান in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).



#7:

Radio: Car 53, we're আপনি heading in such a hurry?

Master Sword: oh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.

Radio: There's a bank robbery!?

Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).

Saten: Dude, we're are আপনি going!?

Master Sword: Didn't আপনি hear, theirs a bank robbery!

Saten: What!? No theirs not-

Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-

(They burst into bank)

Master Sword: YOUR BEING ROBBED! (Points gun at employee) WERE'S YOUR MONEY!

Employee: (crying) p, please don't kill me!

Master Sword: (dramatically) please don't MAKE ME!

(Sword and Saten arrive into the back of the bank)

Saten: Dude, what are আপনি doing!?

Master Sword: No talk! We gotta take all this cash!

Saten: Soooo, nobody can steal it?

Master Sword: ... Yeah!

Saten: Hmm , Good idea (starts grabbing money bags)



#8:

Derpy: I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful!

Master Sword: Why'd আপনি bring me to Cake N' বেকন for our third date, I HATE this place!

Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.

Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!

Derpy: Is it possible were having two different conversations?

Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!



#9:

Master Sword: (showing snake to high school students) And the most I know about this species is that i- (suddenly the bites his arm) AHH! FUCK!

Students: (turn quite)

Master Sword: (pulls the snake off angrily) GOD FUCKIN DAMN IT! Fuckin son of a, FUCK!

Audience: (gasps)

Master Sword: Oh, the fucking stupid-ass serpent BIT ME!

Principle: Mr Sword, please sto-

Master Sword: Oh, জ্যাম a lit sparkler up my asshole and then do sit-ups. lt hurts so bad!

Principle: Sir! Words like that are NOT allowed in this school!

Master Sword: (screaming) MOTHER FUCKER BIT ME!... (calmly) I.. I mean the snake bit me... I think I need a hospital.



#10:
Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving আপনি people the bird.
Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!
Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.




#11:
Sword: Tonight, আপনি become a man.

পরাকাষ্ঠা Pony: But I'm a girl.

Sword: A MAN!!




#12:
Saten: I hate to tell আপনি this Sword, but there really is no Santa.

Sword: ... (chuckles) That's funny.. I thought আপনি ব্যক্ত Santa wasn't real.. What's next, hmm? . Um, who else isn't real? Hmm? Y...You gonna tell me Elmo isn't real? অথবা SpongeBob? Is he not real? Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean giving Squidward the business? Hmm? And what about Curious George? Huh? Does he not really exist? Hmm? Is Curious George not out there makin' little boats out of newspapers that he should be delivering? Huh? Educate yourself, আপনি fool!



#13:
Saten: Why'd we take his leg?

Sword: We're in their country, Saten, we have to observe their customs. (drops leg on bump)

Sword: ... Well, at least we're done with the first leg of our journey.



#14:
Sword: নমস্কার dude, that one reindeer just kind of pooped in the other reindeer's face, and the other reindeer just kind of ate it. Isn't বড়দিন magical?