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posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone আপনি love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard অথবা hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as আপনি open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 মিনিট অথবা so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring অথবা your nails on the blackboard পরবর্তি time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. পরবর্তি সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান আপনি go to, yell out "Mmmbop!" between every song.

7. Whenever someone asks আপনি a question, say, "What?" As soon as they start to talk again, cut them off with another, "What?"

8. When someone asks to borrow paper, say, "Do আপনি think paper grows on trees?" Then laugh hysterically.

9. Give yourself a really big দুধ mustache at the breakfast টেবিল and refuse to wipe it off.

10. Send emails to your বন্ধু with subjects reading, "You're never going to believe this!!!" Then leave the message part blank.

11. Tell the same joke over and over and laugh as loud as আপনি can at the punchline every single time.

12. Ask someone to borrow a tissue, pretend to blow your nose and stick it back in their pocket.

13. Put garlic powder inside the showerhead in the bathroom (after আপনি take a shower, of course).

14. Anytime someone says something, respond, "Yeah, so's your mom."

15. Leave smelly socks on your brother's pillow; blame it on the dog.

16. Tell your friend's crush that she wants to marry him.

17. Break into your পছন্দ celeb's house and try their clothes on. Wait patiently to be arrested.

18. Fill your mouth with Saltines, then talk to everyone at the table.

19. When someone speaks to you, flinch like they're going to hit you.

20. Pretend your Call Waiting beeps every two মিনিট while you're on the phone. Keep checking it.

21. Put grapes inside your mom's পছন্দ slippers.

22. Go to McDonald's and order lobster. After they explain that they don't serve lobster, storm out, shouting, "I should've gone to Wendy's!"

23. Approach a total stranger and ask, "Are my ears wiggling?" making no attempt to wiggle them. As soon as the person walks away, ask, "How about now?"

24. Whistle the pesky Chipmunks' বড়দিন song all day. Don't stop until it's stuck in five people's heads.

25. Tell a friend that she has something on her face when she doesn't. Keep telling her to wipe harder.

26. When আপনি go to pick someone up, lean on the horn as আপনি pull into their driveway. Don't stop until they're in the car.

27. When your brother অথবা sister's dates are over, break out baby pics of them "going potty".

28. Lock the passenger side car door when your friend is trying to get in. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Then unlock it and lock it again when they try to open it. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Repeat.

29. When the lights go out at the movies, make barfing noises.

30. Sing the wrong words to songs at the school dance.

31. Point your fingers at a friend in the shape of a gun, make a clicking sound, and say, "Take it sleazy!"

32. Request no MSG on your food-- everywhere আপনি go.

33. While on vacation with your family, suddenly scream, "Did anyone remember to unplug the iron?"

34. At a party, keep telling one of your বন্ধু she has bad breath. No matter how many mints she eats, say, "God, did আপনি eat tuna for lunch?"

35. When anyone says, "Can I ask আপনি a question?" say, "You just did."

36. In class, keep telling your bud that her bra strap is showing.

37. Make up a joke that takes 10 মিনিট to tell and has no punchline.

38. When answering the phone, say, "Yellow?"

39. Go to a store, buy a bunch of things, and pay for them with pennies.

40. While driving in your friend's car, insist that আপনি smell dog poop. Enjoy as she sniffs around.

41. Give the person walking in front of আপনি a flat tire. Apologize profusely. Then do it again.

42. পরবর্তি party, go into the bathroom, steal all of the toilet paper, and listen for the cries of terror.

43. In the cafeteria, pretend আপনি dropped something and bend down to get it. While under the table, tie your friend's shoelace to her chair. Then ask her to go get আপনি a napkin.

44. Keep asking everyone at the bus stop, "Cold enough for ya?"

45. Tell a friend you'll tape Buffy for her, and purposefully stop taping 10 মিনিট from the end.

46. Go to the লাইব্রেরি and play your Walkman loud enough so that everyone can hear your headphones. Stay there for the entire day.

47. While someone's taking a shower, steal their towel.

48. Spend an entire দিন speaking with a really fake British accent.

49. When you're in the passenger আসন and the driver changes lanes, scream, "Watch out for that truck!"

50. Blow kisses at everyone আপনি meet at the mall.
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posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the ভালুক that was hit দ্বারা an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They ব্যক্ত it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the কিশমিশ for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until আপনি give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think আপনি could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

আপনি sing to me
Too bad আপনি couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't আপনি stick to acting?

Here আপনি go again...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what আপনি had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in প্রণয় with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell আপনি দ্বারা the Greyhound
She can প্রদর্শনী আপনি how to stay down
I can tell আপনি 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my দুশ্চরিত্রা watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get আপনি buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
BEAT


It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make আপনি bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, আপনি do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...
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Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can আপনি feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing আপনি so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A দিন without আপনি is like a বছর without rain
I need আপনি দ্বারা my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A দিন without আপনি is like a বছর without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't আপনি hear me calling?
My হৃদয় is yearning
Like...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All দিন all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I প্রণয় it, hate the way I প্রণয় you
All দিন all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to প্রদর্শনী I প্রণয় you, I got no regrets.
I প্রণয় আপনি much to, much to hide you, this প্রণয় ain’t finished yet. This প্রণয় ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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