The Shannara Chronicles recap: 'Breakline' 

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is brought to you by the Spin Doctors and your senior prom (which, if you’re my age, are basically the same thing).

We open in the aftermath of Wambertrio’s fall down the gorge, which somehow dumped them out safely into a lush, green river valley. Wil comes to next to the dead Reaper, the Elfstones burned into his hand. Gross, but hey, at least they’ll be harder to steal that way.

He follows a trail of bloody rocks into the forest, looking for his ladies, when he’s attacked by a crazed elf. The youngster accuses Wil of being one of the elf-hunters who cut off his left ear. Wil displays his own short tips, then makes a really unhygienic-looking poultice to stop the bleeding and take away the kid’s pain.

The one-eared elf, Perk, explains that gnomes believe elf ears have medicinal properties, so bands of elf-hating humans supply the demand. “By this time next week, my left ear will be ground up in some horny gnome’s tea,” he says.

Naturally, this makes Wil fear for Amberle, as well he should. She and Eretria are on the run from the elf hunters, who are incredibly bad shots with their bow. Still, when Amberle drops her father’s sword, she doesn’t dare go back for it.

As the women run, the ground suddenly collapses under them, and they fall flat on their backs into … a perfectly preserved high school prom! It is, to say the least, a surprising set piece. There are streamers, banners, round tables, bleachers, lockers — all dusty, rotten and rusted, but intact. (Prom theme: We can be heroes. NICE.) Amberle says places like this were buried, sealed and preserved during the Great War, like a butterfly in amber.

Okay, it’s supposed to be multiple millennia since our civilization fell. I don’t care how well preserved things are, having a basically perfectly intact school makes zero sense. I mean,

If you want to play with the ruined bones of our society, then change the timeline from the books so stumbling across these remnants makes physical sense. (Lord knows they haven’t been afraid to change basically everything else.)

Anyway, bright side: Eretria immediately asks if Amberle’s okay after their fall through the ceiling. Isn’t it nice to see Wil’s ladies working together?

The elf hunters return to their camp, where Perk and Wil are lurking, hoping to free Perk’s partner. The head hunter, looking a little like Auntie Entity, discovered Amberle’s sword and realizes she’s royal. “Her ears will keep us in furs and drink for many winters to come,” she crows.

The group pulls out, leaving behind the hunter I like to think of as Portly Allanon. Pallanon pulls Perk’s ear out of a pail — to look at it, I guess? — and Perk goes nuts, charging in and immediately getting recaptured. Pallanon’s about to take Perk’s other ear when Wil gets the drop on him.

They use a knife to Pallanon’s ear to get him to spill on Eretria and Amberle’s last known location. That done, Perk makes like he’s going to let him go. “It’s okay, tough guy, torture’s not really my thing,” he says, then smoothly slits Pallanon’s throat. “Taking out a serial elf killer, on the other hand, is a top priority.” Wil’s horrified, but Perk’s got a point. Elf-killing ear-takers aren’t likely to stop their elf-killing, ear-taking ways. (I saw that cross-stitched on a pillow once.)

Perk then turns to free his caged partner, who’s definitely

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In the high school that time forgot, Amberle’s flipping through an old yearbook. “They look happy,” she says.

“They look dead to me,” Eretria replies. But Amberle tells her to drop the tough girl act; Eretria zip-lined back to save the elves, after all. The Rover tries to deny it but eventually cops to caring a little.

They wander in search of a way out of the underground prison, and despite the timeline wonkiness, the disintegrating school is a trippy, creepy set piece, particularly when Amberle shrugs on an old letterman jacket. In the rubble, she also finds and pockets three blue polyhedral dice that look quite a bit like the Elfstones. (Non-nerds: Those are commonly used in Dungeons & Dragons and other PRGs. You may have been too busy going on dates in high school to be familiar with them.)

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