"Do আপনি have asthma?" the gym teacher asked me. My thoughts flickered to Emery. He had asthma, right? Breathlessly, I nodded. "Go get your inhaler. Emery, go with her." Emery helped get me up, and we went inside, as I was taking my last breaths.
"Give me.." I rasped. "Your inhaler."
"What?" Emery asked, unbelieving.
"Get me your inhaler," I ব্যক্ত through my teeth. My head started to spin. Quickly, Emery ran into the boys' locker room. A couple moments later, he returned with his inhaler, and handed it to me. I pumped some of it into my mouth, and thankfully it helped a bit. I sat there on the floor a few আরো moments, until my breath returned.
"Shelby, আপনি gotta stop these fucking drugs," Emery said, talking down to me like I was a child অথবা something.
"You gotta mind your own fucking business," I said, leaning my head back against the wall.
"Shelby, it's only going to get worse if আপনি don't stop. আপনি could die."
"Good," I glared at him. That made him speechless.
"What the hell is your problem?!" he shouted at me after a few moments. "You've got your whole life ahead of you! How can আপনি just throw it away like its worthless?"
"Because it is," I snapped. "And I've got nothing ahead of me... My life is not worth living. I'm surprised it took me this long to realize it."
"Oh please," he scoffed. "Your life couldn't seriously be that bad. You---"
"My mother abandoned me," I began. "She left me and my sisters a couple months ago. Before that, we lived in a two bedroom house, with nearly no food. My sister Paige worked full time, and had to be Kirsten and Sage's teacher. I watched them all day, when I wasn't out looking for a job. I have four sisters. None of us know our fathers. All of them left us. Same with my mom. I live with my relatives, who are nothing but nice to us, when we don't deserve it. I always feel like I'm a bother to someone. I'm always in someone's way. And I just..." I held my head in my hands, gripping my hair. "I just want it to all end!"
"I... I'm sorry, Shelby. I didn't know..." Emery ব্যক্ত quietly. I ignored him, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone. Emery sat down পরবর্তি to me. "It must be so hard..."
"It's getting better," I admitted quietly. I looked up at him. "When I'm high, I don't have to think about it. It's easier." He sighed, shaking his head at me.
"Temporarily," he reminded me.
"Time doesn't matter. Whatever I can get, no matter how long it lasts, I'll take it. It's worth it."
"Yeah, but..." he sighed, probably not knowing what to say. "You're killing yourself, Shelby." I stood up and shrugged.
"Again, I'll take what I can get."
"Give me.." I rasped. "Your inhaler."
"What?" Emery asked, unbelieving.
"Get me your inhaler," I ব্যক্ত through my teeth. My head started to spin. Quickly, Emery ran into the boys' locker room. A couple moments later, he returned with his inhaler, and handed it to me. I pumped some of it into my mouth, and thankfully it helped a bit. I sat there on the floor a few আরো moments, until my breath returned.
"Shelby, আপনি gotta stop these fucking drugs," Emery said, talking down to me like I was a child অথবা something.
"You gotta mind your own fucking business," I said, leaning my head back against the wall.
"Shelby, it's only going to get worse if আপনি don't stop. আপনি could die."
"Good," I glared at him. That made him speechless.
"What the hell is your problem?!" he shouted at me after a few moments. "You've got your whole life ahead of you! How can আপনি just throw it away like its worthless?"
"Because it is," I snapped. "And I've got nothing ahead of me... My life is not worth living. I'm surprised it took me this long to realize it."
"Oh please," he scoffed. "Your life couldn't seriously be that bad. You---"
"My mother abandoned me," I began. "She left me and my sisters a couple months ago. Before that, we lived in a two bedroom house, with nearly no food. My sister Paige worked full time, and had to be Kirsten and Sage's teacher. I watched them all day, when I wasn't out looking for a job. I have four sisters. None of us know our fathers. All of them left us. Same with my mom. I live with my relatives, who are nothing but nice to us, when we don't deserve it. I always feel like I'm a bother to someone. I'm always in someone's way. And I just..." I held my head in my hands, gripping my hair. "I just want it to all end!"
"I... I'm sorry, Shelby. I didn't know..." Emery ব্যক্ত quietly. I ignored him, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone. Emery sat down পরবর্তি to me. "It must be so hard..."
"It's getting better," I admitted quietly. I looked up at him. "When I'm high, I don't have to think about it. It's easier." He sighed, shaking his head at me.
"Temporarily," he reminded me.
"Time doesn't matter. Whatever I can get, no matter how long it lasts, I'll take it. It's worth it."
"Yeah, but..." he sighed, probably not knowing what to say. "You're killing yourself, Shelby." I stood up and shrugged.
"Again, I'll take what I can get."
It's so hard to forget
So late at night,
The darkest memory
That leaves me in fright
The color of crimson,
Is scary yet releasing.
Adrenaline builds since then,
And paranoia's increasing
Evening falls,
Ravens call,
And I see
Darkness over me
Don't walk alone
Don't be lost
I'm chilled to the bone
And that's to a cost.
Blood so warm
Words so cold
Get it over with!
This is getting old.
Midnight falls,
Ravens call,
And I see
Darkness overwhelming me
It's so hazy after that,
That's all I can see,
The short, very vague
Dark memory.
So late at night,
The darkest memory
That leaves me in fright
The color of crimson,
Is scary yet releasing.
Adrenaline builds since then,
And paranoia's increasing
Evening falls,
Ravens call,
And I see
Darkness over me
Don't walk alone
Don't be lost
I'm chilled to the bone
And that's to a cost.
Blood so warm
Words so cold
Get it over with!
This is getting old.
Midnight falls,
Ravens call,
And I see
Darkness overwhelming me
It's so hazy after that,
That's all I can see,
The short, very vague
Dark memory.
The sun is up in the sky
i watch it in the big blue ksky
And i ask myslef,"why?"
i stare at the ceiling.
then i get a strange felling.
and this felling is still being.
and then i ask,"why?"
What do i see in those eyes?
what do i see in you?
even thought i still despise.
i always ask myslef,"why?"
ask me that question,"why?"
i say i dont know
they tell me dont lie
so then i speak th truth.
i know that in my heart
i will always প্রণয় you
your eyes that shine like he sun
being with আপনি is always fun
one দিন i will tell you,hun
that আপনি are the only one
sorry,not all the words rhyme.im not the best at making poems,but i wanted to share it with আপনি anyways
i watch it in the big blue ksky
And i ask myslef,"why?"
i stare at the ceiling.
then i get a strange felling.
and this felling is still being.
and then i ask,"why?"
What do i see in those eyes?
what do i see in you?
even thought i still despise.
i always ask myslef,"why?"
ask me that question,"why?"
i say i dont know
they tell me dont lie
so then i speak th truth.
i know that in my heart
i will always প্রণয় you
your eyes that shine like he sun
being with আপনি is always fun
one দিন i will tell you,hun
that আপনি are the only one
sorry,not all the words rhyme.im not the best at making poems,but i wanted to share it with আপনি anyways
this is aqua
