Help would be appreciated

I have some trust issues, because of some bullying issues that happened a while ago, which I don't even remember. I think I might have blocked them because I wasn't that young when it happened. I would of gotten over the trust I হারিয়ে গেছে from that but where my biggest problem comes in is because about three years পূর্বে my parents told me that my dad wasn't my biological father. All the rest of my family knew this before I was ever told. (Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents) Well I know that my father knows I exist but what I don't understand is why he wouldn't even try to be a part of my life at all, I'm not sure if it's because my mom didn't want him apart of my life অথবা if he wasn't ready. I also know the only way to get any real উত্তর is talk to my mom about it. But I can't do that because she'd tell my dad about it, and I প্রণয় my dad and all but he's really sensitive and I don't want to make him feel bad. He always says he'd understand and that I could talk to him about anything, but I know I can't. (I've tried) Not on these thoughts but with other things and they always lead to fights.

sorry if i was rambling at all. But what do I do, I want answers. But the only way to get the উত্তর I want is দ্বারা asking, but I'm to scared to ask.