Azula’s nose was still throbbing. Throbbing and likely broken.
And it would seem that Tang-Shin had no intentions of providing any real medical care. So she’d have to sit there and suck it up. She was used to bottling feelings up anyways, how hard could it possibly be to ignore a broken nose? The mental agony was usually thrice as painful anyhow.
She lie on the floor in the corner of the room with really nothing to do but think of the pain. It must have been super early in the morning as they hadn’t come to give her, her ‘medication’ yet…
They hadn’t come to give her, her medication!
That would explain why the pain was much আরো vivid…her thoughts focused, clear. Azula pushed herself upright scanning the room for anywhere that she may be able to hide that mind numbing concoction. But the room was pretty much useless, there wasn’t even a speckle of furniture aside from the বিছানা Zhu-Ling was too lazy to lay her in.
The bed.
That was it, she’d use the bed.
Of course after putting her plan into action she wouldn’t be able to sleep on it anymore, but she’d rather face the cold stone floor than the murk in her mind.
She allowed herself a prideful smile…one that sent her nose stinging again. It was a small victory, but a victory no less. And for the hours to come she’d pretend to sleep. Of course actually sleeping was always an option, but that was always easier ব্যক্ত than done.
Now that she was in her right mind she had thoughts.
Too many of them really.
It was like her mind was making up for হারিয়ে গেছে time, for all those hours of living as a heathen shell of her former self.
It was as if all her দিন to দিন musings, fears, and insecurities decided to flood in all at once, bombarding every part of her mind. A sort of overload.
When she tried to sleep the প্রশ্ন would form; what if I can’t bust myself out of here? What if Zuko can’t get me out of here? Has he even tried? Was this his plan all along—to play nice and then be rid of me? I was a fool to trust him. I should have done away with him first before he had a chance to land me here…
And with each প্রশ্ন she willed herself to গেলা a new lump in her throat. From which emotion the lump was formed Azula couldn’t quite place…there were just so many. Her money was on sadness…or was it betrayal?
Azula had though she and Zuko were getting along pretty well. Of course there was a minor dispute every now and again…
Perhaps what seemed minor to her was major to Zuko…and that’s why he locked her up in here—so he could watch her wallow around on drugs like some uncivil Neanderthal…watch her embarrass and shame herself… get a little payback for all those minor disputes and whatever তিক্ত feelings lingered from before the comet.
He had betrayed her just like everyone else…like Mai and Ty Lee. They had probably helped him pick the asylum to ship her off to.
The sensation of a thousand flutterbats twisted her belly into knots.
She turned on her side and tried to convince herself that he wouldn’t do that. That this was a mistake. But if it wasn’t wouldn’t he have come to visit? Didn’t he already come to visit me? What had happened? What had I said? She couldn’t remember. Even with the fog clear.
She slammed her fist into the floor, fear and sadness giving way to anger. She slammed her fist into the ground again and again until her knuckles bruised—the staff wouldn’t notice, they’d assume it was their own doing like the rest of the bruising.
Her bought of anger was put to an abrupt halt দ্বারা the sound of footsteps.
Azula quickly composed herself, urging her tense muscles to relax as she had done in past situations of fear. She ran through a mental check list; even breathing, passive expression—or in this case ‘just woke up’ expression, and relaxed posture. She was set to go.
At least until another thought flowed into her head; what if they watch me take the medication? Her body went rigid again, she hadn’t accounted for that. How could she have forgotten!? Her mind must still be a bit dulled.
She forced her body to relax again.
The door to her room was pulled open.
Neither Zhu-Ling nor Kirah stood দ্বারা Tang-Shin this time. The man had two new faces accompanying him; one male and one female.
“You’ll have to forgive me princess.” Tang-Shin started. His pseudo courtly manner was really beginning to tear at her nerves. “Zhu-Ling and Kirah…they’re taking care of another patient at the moment.”
Azula wasn’t disappointed to say the least. She wanted nothing আরো than to pry Zhu-Ling apart bit দ্বারা bit, but between the cuffs she was still bound in, the drug-induced delirium, and the straitjacket…well the opportunity still hadn’t presented itself.
“Sit up princess.” Tang-Shin ordered.
Azula was feeling rather defiant that morning.
“Alright. Xang, sit her up for me.”
The man to his left, roughly gripped her shoulder and tugged her up—yup, that would form a bruise too.
“I understand, you’re probably a little sleepy from yesterday…” there was that false politeness again. “But that doesn’t mean আপনি get to disobey us. Understand?”
Azula didn’t answer. She simply looked up at him with what she hoped came off as a wide-eyed, puzzled stare.
And there it was…the medication. His new female nurse had just finished stirring it. It looked as grimy and noxious as ever. And she was going to have her spoon it down.
One spoonful was all it took to melt her coherence. The সেকেন্ড spoonful, enough to turn her into something of a brainless ditz. A third spoonful…they had never upped the dosage that high but if she wasn’t careful they’d probably do so for good measure.
Currently her mind was kicked into overdrive trying to think of any last মিনিট ways to get out of taking the medication.
For a বিভক্ত করা সেকেন্ড she thought of faking a total meltdown. The following বিভক্ত করা সেকেন্ড was wasted on realizing that would probably earn her ব্যক্ত third spoonful…and a nice cozy straitjacket in her lovely padded room.
Her time for thinking had come to a pass.
She felt the cold metal of the spoon chill her front teeth. Nausea threatening to take her over…they’d been feeding her this stuff every morning and yet the taste was just as offensive as it was on the first day.
Azula heard the clanking of metal on stone as the nurse scooped her up that সেকেন্ড spoonful.
And something of a plan B came to her.
She swallowed just a little…just enough to make Tang-Shin believe she had eaten the সেকেন্ড dose.
Tears prickled in her eyes, the taste and texture was becoming too much. The battle was no longer she verses the staff, but she verses the bodily instinct to throw up.
“Now then.” Tang-Shin gave her what he probably believed was a charming smile. “We’ll let the medication settle while I check my other patient. I’ll be back, and then the two of us will try out your new treatment plan.”
Azula didn’t make a sound, didn’t dare open her mouth. She gave a submissive nod—anything to get him out of the room faster.
And yet he still seemed to take his time. After what seemed like ages, the man and his ‘medical-savvy’ clique slammed the door shut.
She waited an extra heartbeat অথবা two before scrambling clumsily over to her bed.
Azula could already feel herself slipping away again, back into that shrouding mist. The smog threatening to rip her plan B out of memory.
It was like going into a room to retrieve an item, but forgetting why আপনি had gone to ব্যক্ত room in the first place.
Thank Agni the medicine was still in her mouth to remind her to spit it the hell out!
And she did so, under the bedspread.
It was sick.
It was vial.
It was messy.
But it had to be done.
She sat there plagued দ্বারা a series of dry, wheezing, self-inflicted coughs. The putrid taste still lingering in her mouth. And outside it a sloppy mess of saliva and chunks of the medication.
She wiped her mouth and chin on the blankets, hastily remade the বিছানা as if nothing had happened, and let herself fall to the floor.
Azula was so tired, body limp and spent. She knew she shouldn’t feel so weak…perhaps that was just another wonder of that mud they called medicine.
As she lie on the floor, contemplating what she had just done, there came a little fuzz in the back of her mind. There was another way to expel the rest of the medication…a plan C. But the smoke was too dense for her to see it. It was there, the idea was—bordering on her subconscious just out of reach.
Try as she might, she couldn’t get her mind to call it closer. And so she stopped trying, her brain now shifting to focus on the churning in her stomach. It hurt. She felt sick.
She curled herself into a fetal position…no one was there to see it anyways.
Perhaps she should have just downed the whole dose—at least the steam was thick enough then, to numb the sickly feel the first dose provided.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be alright, baby.” Her mother smiled.
Azula shivered.
She didn’t want to deal with this, not right now.
She moved her hands to cover her ears. Oh right the cuffs…
At least this time she could actually recognize that they were the উৎস of her restraint. Her face flushed red as she recalled not even being able to realize that.
“Don’t worry baby, I’m here now.” Ursa ব্যক্ত softly.
“Where were আপনি before!” Azula slurred.
Ursa didn’t answer.
HeeKul used the woman’s silence to congratulate Azula on almost giving Tang-Shin the slip.
Ling-Ling skipped into her field of vision, giving her a once over. “You don’t look so good.”
“I know.” Azula whispered, bunching her legs up even closer to her chest.
Ursa and HeeKul spoke up…and then Ling-Ling…and then many other voices. A whole disorienting chorus. Azula wished she had her real medication. Between that fake crap she spooned down and her own insanity, she felt so dizzy.
So helpless…
She saw the lips moving, but they refused to put out any sound. Azula squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus. With the extra effort the voice cut through the fog. It was Tang-Shin again. “Come on we don’t have time to waste, there are other patients waiting.” He yanked her to her feet.
The woozy sensation had her plummeting right back down, her knees colliding painfully with the floor.
“Did আপনি hear me?” He slapped her across the cheek.
Her head snapped back.
If he was hoping that his slap would ease the lightheadedness, it clearly didn’t work. Azula, in fact, felt twice as tipsy as moments before.
Tang-Shin tugged her to her feet once again. This time actually having the decency to provide her some support.
Feeling as physically weak and susceptible to persuasions as ever, she made no protest as he led her out the door.
“Today is a very special দিন for আপনি Azula.” That malice riddled smirk spread over his face. “I know আপনি can’t remember what I had ব্যক্ত earlier…”
Azula almost laughed. Because she did…she remembered what he had told her. She decided not to laugh because she wasn’t enthusiastic about whatever ‘new treatment’ was in store.
The man chuckled at something he had ব্যক্ত to himself. Azula hadn’t been paying attention, but she didn’t have to, to know that his joke wasn’t funny.
“I’m sure you’ll enjoy this new treatment.”
And it would seem that Tang-Shin had no intentions of providing any real medical care. So she’d have to sit there and suck it up. She was used to bottling feelings up anyways, how hard could it possibly be to ignore a broken nose? The mental agony was usually thrice as painful anyhow.
She lie on the floor in the corner of the room with really nothing to do but think of the pain. It must have been super early in the morning as they hadn’t come to give her, her ‘medication’ yet…
They hadn’t come to give her, her medication!
That would explain why the pain was much আরো vivid…her thoughts focused, clear. Azula pushed herself upright scanning the room for anywhere that she may be able to hide that mind numbing concoction. But the room was pretty much useless, there wasn’t even a speckle of furniture aside from the বিছানা Zhu-Ling was too lazy to lay her in.
The bed.
That was it, she’d use the bed.
Of course after putting her plan into action she wouldn’t be able to sleep on it anymore, but she’d rather face the cold stone floor than the murk in her mind.
She allowed herself a prideful smile…one that sent her nose stinging again. It was a small victory, but a victory no less. And for the hours to come she’d pretend to sleep. Of course actually sleeping was always an option, but that was always easier ব্যক্ত than done.
Now that she was in her right mind she had thoughts.
Too many of them really.
It was like her mind was making up for হারিয়ে গেছে time, for all those hours of living as a heathen shell of her former self.
It was as if all her দিন to দিন musings, fears, and insecurities decided to flood in all at once, bombarding every part of her mind. A sort of overload.
When she tried to sleep the প্রশ্ন would form; what if I can’t bust myself out of here? What if Zuko can’t get me out of here? Has he even tried? Was this his plan all along—to play nice and then be rid of me? I was a fool to trust him. I should have done away with him first before he had a chance to land me here…
And with each প্রশ্ন she willed herself to গেলা a new lump in her throat. From which emotion the lump was formed Azula couldn’t quite place…there were just so many. Her money was on sadness…or was it betrayal?
Azula had though she and Zuko were getting along pretty well. Of course there was a minor dispute every now and again…
Perhaps what seemed minor to her was major to Zuko…and that’s why he locked her up in here—so he could watch her wallow around on drugs like some uncivil Neanderthal…watch her embarrass and shame herself… get a little payback for all those minor disputes and whatever তিক্ত feelings lingered from before the comet.
He had betrayed her just like everyone else…like Mai and Ty Lee. They had probably helped him pick the asylum to ship her off to.
The sensation of a thousand flutterbats twisted her belly into knots.
She turned on her side and tried to convince herself that he wouldn’t do that. That this was a mistake. But if it wasn’t wouldn’t he have come to visit? Didn’t he already come to visit me? What had happened? What had I said? She couldn’t remember. Even with the fog clear.
She slammed her fist into the floor, fear and sadness giving way to anger. She slammed her fist into the ground again and again until her knuckles bruised—the staff wouldn’t notice, they’d assume it was their own doing like the rest of the bruising.
Her bought of anger was put to an abrupt halt দ্বারা the sound of footsteps.
Azula quickly composed herself, urging her tense muscles to relax as she had done in past situations of fear. She ran through a mental check list; even breathing, passive expression—or in this case ‘just woke up’ expression, and relaxed posture. She was set to go.
At least until another thought flowed into her head; what if they watch me take the medication? Her body went rigid again, she hadn’t accounted for that. How could she have forgotten!? Her mind must still be a bit dulled.
She forced her body to relax again.
The door to her room was pulled open.
Neither Zhu-Ling nor Kirah stood দ্বারা Tang-Shin this time. The man had two new faces accompanying him; one male and one female.
“You’ll have to forgive me princess.” Tang-Shin started. His pseudo courtly manner was really beginning to tear at her nerves. “Zhu-Ling and Kirah…they’re taking care of another patient at the moment.”
Azula wasn’t disappointed to say the least. She wanted nothing আরো than to pry Zhu-Ling apart bit দ্বারা bit, but between the cuffs she was still bound in, the drug-induced delirium, and the straitjacket…well the opportunity still hadn’t presented itself.
“Sit up princess.” Tang-Shin ordered.
Azula was feeling rather defiant that morning.
“Alright. Xang, sit her up for me.”
The man to his left, roughly gripped her shoulder and tugged her up—yup, that would form a bruise too.
“I understand, you’re probably a little sleepy from yesterday…” there was that false politeness again. “But that doesn’t mean আপনি get to disobey us. Understand?”
Azula didn’t answer. She simply looked up at him with what she hoped came off as a wide-eyed, puzzled stare.
And there it was…the medication. His new female nurse had just finished stirring it. It looked as grimy and noxious as ever. And she was going to have her spoon it down.
One spoonful was all it took to melt her coherence. The সেকেন্ড spoonful, enough to turn her into something of a brainless ditz. A third spoonful…they had never upped the dosage that high but if she wasn’t careful they’d probably do so for good measure.
Currently her mind was kicked into overdrive trying to think of any last মিনিট ways to get out of taking the medication.
For a বিভক্ত করা সেকেন্ড she thought of faking a total meltdown. The following বিভক্ত করা সেকেন্ড was wasted on realizing that would probably earn her ব্যক্ত third spoonful…and a nice cozy straitjacket in her lovely padded room.
Her time for thinking had come to a pass.
She felt the cold metal of the spoon chill her front teeth. Nausea threatening to take her over…they’d been feeding her this stuff every morning and yet the taste was just as offensive as it was on the first day.
Azula heard the clanking of metal on stone as the nurse scooped her up that সেকেন্ড spoonful.
And something of a plan B came to her.
She swallowed just a little…just enough to make Tang-Shin believe she had eaten the সেকেন্ড dose.
Tears prickled in her eyes, the taste and texture was becoming too much. The battle was no longer she verses the staff, but she verses the bodily instinct to throw up.
“Now then.” Tang-Shin gave her what he probably believed was a charming smile. “We’ll let the medication settle while I check my other patient. I’ll be back, and then the two of us will try out your new treatment plan.”
Azula didn’t make a sound, didn’t dare open her mouth. She gave a submissive nod—anything to get him out of the room faster.
And yet he still seemed to take his time. After what seemed like ages, the man and his ‘medical-savvy’ clique slammed the door shut.
She waited an extra heartbeat অথবা two before scrambling clumsily over to her bed.
Azula could already feel herself slipping away again, back into that shrouding mist. The smog threatening to rip her plan B out of memory.
It was like going into a room to retrieve an item, but forgetting why আপনি had gone to ব্যক্ত room in the first place.
Thank Agni the medicine was still in her mouth to remind her to spit it the hell out!
And she did so, under the bedspread.
It was sick.
It was vial.
It was messy.
But it had to be done.
She sat there plagued দ্বারা a series of dry, wheezing, self-inflicted coughs. The putrid taste still lingering in her mouth. And outside it a sloppy mess of saliva and chunks of the medication.
She wiped her mouth and chin on the blankets, hastily remade the বিছানা as if nothing had happened, and let herself fall to the floor.
Azula was so tired, body limp and spent. She knew she shouldn’t feel so weak…perhaps that was just another wonder of that mud they called medicine.
As she lie on the floor, contemplating what she had just done, there came a little fuzz in the back of her mind. There was another way to expel the rest of the medication…a plan C. But the smoke was too dense for her to see it. It was there, the idea was—bordering on her subconscious just out of reach.
Try as she might, she couldn’t get her mind to call it closer. And so she stopped trying, her brain now shifting to focus on the churning in her stomach. It hurt. She felt sick.
She curled herself into a fetal position…no one was there to see it anyways.
Perhaps she should have just downed the whole dose—at least the steam was thick enough then, to numb the sickly feel the first dose provided.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be alright, baby.” Her mother smiled.
Azula shivered.
She didn’t want to deal with this, not right now.
She moved her hands to cover her ears. Oh right the cuffs…
At least this time she could actually recognize that they were the উৎস of her restraint. Her face flushed red as she recalled not even being able to realize that.
“Don’t worry baby, I’m here now.” Ursa ব্যক্ত softly.
“Where were আপনি before!” Azula slurred.
Ursa didn’t answer.
HeeKul used the woman’s silence to congratulate Azula on almost giving Tang-Shin the slip.
Ling-Ling skipped into her field of vision, giving her a once over. “You don’t look so good.”
“I know.” Azula whispered, bunching her legs up even closer to her chest.
Ursa and HeeKul spoke up…and then Ling-Ling…and then many other voices. A whole disorienting chorus. Azula wished she had her real medication. Between that fake crap she spooned down and her own insanity, she felt so dizzy.
So helpless…
She saw the lips moving, but they refused to put out any sound. Azula squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus. With the extra effort the voice cut through the fog. It was Tang-Shin again. “Come on we don’t have time to waste, there are other patients waiting.” He yanked her to her feet.
The woozy sensation had her plummeting right back down, her knees colliding painfully with the floor.
“Did আপনি hear me?” He slapped her across the cheek.
Her head snapped back.
If he was hoping that his slap would ease the lightheadedness, it clearly didn’t work. Azula, in fact, felt twice as tipsy as moments before.
Tang-Shin tugged her to her feet once again. This time actually having the decency to provide her some support.
Feeling as physically weak and susceptible to persuasions as ever, she made no protest as he led her out the door.
“Today is a very special দিন for আপনি Azula.” That malice riddled smirk spread over his face. “I know আপনি can’t remember what I had ব্যক্ত earlier…”
Azula almost laughed. Because she did…she remembered what he had told her. She decided not to laugh because she wasn’t enthusiastic about whatever ‘new treatment’ was in store.
The man chuckled at something he had ব্যক্ত to himself. Azula hadn’t been paying attention, but she didn’t have to, to know that his joke wasn’t funny.
“I’m sure you’ll enjoy this new treatment.”
