...even if everything is telling you not to
Originally copyrighted দ্বারা starryeyesxx (Sophie), 2007
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She started out as the other girl. She wasn't tortured. They didn't exchange soulful glances. Her rage was confined to the color of the dress she wore. Brooke isn't a gentle breeze, a soft whisper, a delicate engraving on a sketchpad. Brooke Davis is a hurricane, a dizzying array of brightness and laughter, a force to be reckoned with. And from the moment she popped up in Lucas' backseat, his life was never going to be the same again. She made him blush, made him stutter, made him live. She collected drinks and bad habits, the proverbial Jessica Rabbit. She opened his eyes, and for the first time, he could see.
The choice was supposed to be simple. The girl to spend forever with, the girl who he shared a brain with, অথবা the girl who tasted of southern sin, the girl who could keep him in a wicked trance for days. He chose hot tubs and hormones, ট্যাটু and tastes of the forbidden. He chose to be pulled into the whirlpool of Brooke Davis, hot kisses and endless nights and he was never going to be the same.
But something happened. The girl, the girl who was supposed to be one night of fun, one note personality, one cheap shot, she was something more. She had a depth, a softness, a fragile girl hidden behind her sparkling eyes. And somewhere in between the whipped cream and condoms and stolen kisses, she fell. She fell hard. She didn't say it easily, and she didn't say it often, but she gave a rat's ass.
He took her in, the দুশ্চরিত্রা and the wild child and the cheerleader and the flirt and the girl who loved Weird Science and called squirrels "squellers." He took it all in, and he didn't see these parts. He saw Brooke.
"And then suddenly he knows that there is a chance that this might be something more, that there is a chance that she might be something more.
And he knows there in this moment that he could প্রণয় her."
She is rambling now and he smiles. Only she would feel the need to convince him, of all people, that she deserved to be loved.
God, what had he done to her?
Lucas never knew what to make of Brooke Davis when their worlds first collided. He knew her দ্বারা reputation, of course, but when she turned the full force of her efforts his way, he had no moves to fall back on. She exploded into his world, and he was dazzled দ্বারা her. She treated him the way she treated every male she came across … a wink, a suggestive comment, the patented leopard print bra, and then she seduced him. He let her seduce him. Then the rules changed. Brooke opened her হৃদয় and wanted to make things between them real. Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Lucas tried to follow the rules, but he was still হারিয়ে গেছে in the Brooke Davis that he thought he knew. The girl who didn’t do commitment, and who didn’t want a special someone to cuddle at night.
He broke her heart. Callous? Yes. Cruel? Most definitely. But this was a boy who’d been thrown into a world he didn’t know and wasn’t prepared for. An excuse? Never. But it begs understanding, why this gentle boy took a হৃদয় and shattered it. He broke Brooke’s heart, without even realizing it, without thinking about it. Until he saw her pain. Then her pain became his pain, so much so that he wanted to leave everything he loved behind.
Then, of course, he fell in প্রণয় with the Brooke Davis behind the facade. The one she tried to প্রদর্শনী him once before, but he couldn’t appreciate then. Only now did he truly appreciate how much damage he’d done to this once bright, shining তারকা of his. He knew she deserved the whole world and much more. She had the biggest heart, the biggest smile and the most grace he’d ever seen, all hidden from the world at large. But she couldn’t trust again. The most fearless girl he’d ever known feared even the slightest hint of true intimacy. What he’d done to her, only he could take back. He did it দ্বারা giving her his heart, and trusting her not to be careless with it. Because, despite everything he’d done to break this girl, he knew that she was the one for him.
"What is it about the dark that makes it easier to tell secrets?"
Not only is this a quote from one of my পছন্দ fics of ALL time, but I guess it also represents their relationship especially in season 1. In season one, Lucas was experiencing প্রণয় a force unknown to him. He – as well as many others – thought of Brooke as some whirlwind hurricane. আপনি could say he tamed Brooke Davis because the মিনিট they started dating, she began to let her guard down. She showed Lucas the real Brooke. The girl who was experiencing a relationship with substance, which was something she clearly never had nor wanted before. And as she tore down these walls, she found herself revealing things to Lucas. Like her fears, her insecurities and her hopes. Perhaps she felt that the dark seemed safer somehow. Like no-one could see her অথবা look at her অথবা judge her for it. I think that’s all that Brooke ever wanted.
And it is then that she realizes ... She and Lucas? Have much আরো in common than people think. "You're not going to lose me Lucas," she says softly and with a tenderness most wouldn't expect from her. And before she can say another word his arms are around her and all the air has escaped her but it's not because he is hugging her so, so tightly.
Though she will never admit it she does worry sometimes. That they're too different. That he deserves more. That he'd be better off with someone who could give him ... everything. Everything he deserves. But then there are moments like this where he looks at her like he needs her. Like she is his everything ... And she knows everything will be okay and tells him so.
Because it's true. Brooke and Lucas have so many differences... their music, their manner of speech, their hobbies, their plans for the future. But what's most important is at the very core of them, they're much alike. Like Mouth said, "[their] hearts are the same". The most basic of traits they have - their loyalty, their view on life - are similar. And what isn't, they come to learn and accept about the other. They make their differences work for them and not against. They're not opposites that attract, but rather opposites that complete.
"Can আপনি ever just," she sighed shakily, "love me standing দ্বারা myself?" Lucas scanned her blank face. "I don't mean প্রণয় me when you're standing দ্বারা yourself, when আপনি have no one else to look to. I mean প্রণয় me when আপনি have all other options open, when আপনি know that আপনি can have anything else, but at the end of the দিন আপনি want me. Only... me."
This could have actually been ব্যক্ত on the show. It’s so Brooke to be vulnerable and insecure even if others see her as a confident girl. Lucas, too, saw a girl so sure of herself and so unafraid of what others might think. But here, in this moment we see Brooke at her most fragile, with her biggest fear of all; that Lucas will leave her. আপনি can almost see the fear in her eyes that he might say no. That he might leave her and hurt her again. We’ve seen this in every season. She knows that she and Lucas are an unlikely pairing and it frightens her that she might lose him.
"Lucas has called her everyday since the wedding. His messages, once long and hopeful, have taken on a desperate, pleading tone. "We can make this work," he says on Tuesday. "I প্রণয় you, Brooke," on Thursday. "Please. I can fix this," he begs on Friday. She wishes she could yell at him, wishes she could tell him he can't fix this, ever, that it will always be this big, ugly, gaping wound and he needs to accept that, like she did. Like she's trying to do.
No, what she really wishes is that she could physically remove the piece of her হৃদয় that will always belong to him. She wishes she could pretend she doesn't feel his eyes boring into the back of her head as she passes him in the hallway, wishes she could forget what it feels like to have his weight pressing her into the mattress below, wishes she could stop thinking about Lucas for five whole minutes. Because right now what she needs আরো than anything is for the noise in her head to stop."
This is what I have ultimately believed is the difference between Brooke and Lucas. If it was up to Brooke she wouldn't be pathetically in প্রণয় with Lucas. She wants to be free-spirited and bouncy and half of the person she pretends to be to the public. She wants to not give a damn. Because sometimes it hurts just too much to প্রণয় someone like Lucas Scott. In fact, sometimes it can be hell.
Do আপনি know the saying ‘What’s Past is Prologue?’ […] It’s from Shakespeare’s The Tempest. It means that one ending always brings a new beginning. That’s why past is the prologue. It usually sets up for what is to come. আপনি can’t out run the past, Baby Girl, because it always shapes your present, future, and you."
‘You can’t out run the past’. Okay, if there was ever a Brooke/Lucas line, this would be it. Like all couples, Brooke and Lucas have a past. Their relationship isn’t solid, and we know that. It’s not a case of the two getting together and sailing through their lives. Their shaky past is filled with lust, passion, lies, jealousy and hurt but it makes up where they are now. Sometimes I প্রশ্ন whether it would have been better if they’d been together and not gone through all that stuff. But now I realize that they had to. This ত্রিভুজ stuff that we despise so much only makes our couple stronger. They keep coming back to each other not through rash decisions but through hard work. They find their way back. And it’s hard, and long, and sometimes it seems like there’s no hope – but they do. They have faith in each other – so maybe we should, too.
"It was starting again, she realized. The pure, unadulterated fear of placing her trust, her heart, in someone with the potential to destroy her. The difference this time was she knew she would have to offer all of herself, the masks between Lucas and her were practically non-existent. He knew her. He knew the girl who had carefully spent years of building walls around her heart."
Only someone who আপনি would care about so deeply could have the potential to destroy you. That line seems so powerful in a sense that, it shows how much Lucas means to Brooke. And that’s something we’ve been watching for the past three seasons. Brooke has never been so much in প্রণয় with a guy before. She’s never প্রদত্ত her হৃদয় completely to any guy; she’s never taken that risk before. But she does with Lucas. Twice. This quote clearly describes how her insecurities haunted her, but she finally had to give it up and let him in. And that’s what she did. Lucas saw the real her, the girl with insecurities and trust issues…and he tried to wash her insecurities down.
It’s not surprising that it took time for Brooke to place that trust in him again, she had been hurt before. But facing it helped her get over it. And it’s amazing how after what Lucas did to her, she still managed to forget it, give him another chance; and Lucas promised to never hurt her again. Such is their love. Tis true love, I tell ya.
"Luke why are আপনি broken?" she asked taking Luke দ্বারা complete surprise.
"What are আপনি talking about?" as he asked the প্রশ্ন she turned back to him and looked him in the eye.
"I mean what are আপনি hiding? We all know what my pain is, but we never talk about yours. I want to get to know আপনি better, so talk to me."
There may, in essence, be many reasons as to why Brooke and Lucas broke up as of recently. In my opinion, one of those defining reasons was their utter lack of communication. They had emotions, feelings, vulnerabilities, everything but the lack of verbal understandings were limited. They both have so many demons, fears, and insecurities, but found such a connection in light of those issues. I think they are forever connected and very well may be soul mates but honesty and trust weigh heavily in a relationship that lacks cohesive communication.
"I don’t want to. I’m sorry if I’m hurting আপনি but I can’t help how I feel."
"Yes, আপনি can!" she cried, "Bury it অথবা something and maybe you’ll forget it. That’s what I’m doing with you[…]"
Lucas and Brooke have done a lot of burying over the years. Burying the hatchet. Burying their feelings. Burying the past. It seems all they ever do is bury things. But look closer and আপনি will see a strength in their ability to endure any struggle. At the beginning of Season Two some ব্যক্ত Lucas and Brooke's relationship had been damaged beyond repair but somehow, somehow they managed to come out of the muck with something so effortlessly beautiful and pure. Over the course of two seasons they managed to strip away all of the unnecessary baggage and reclaim feelings once thought হারিয়ে গেছে forever. And they will continue to do so. They will continue to let each other in, continue to open each other up, continue to share everything until they are literally ingrained into the other's every memory, every cell. Because প্রণয় is not always rainbows and butterflies. Love, true love, is a struggle. Sometimes it's hard work, yes, but maybe ... Maybe at the end of the দিন it's the only thing worth working at. And to find a প্রণয় like that, a প্রণয় worth fighting for? Well. We should all be so lucky.
FAITH IS REWARDED IN A LOT OF WAYS, BLers!! <3
-Love, Eka
Two people come together and even if it’s just for one night they make us believe in love again
