My farewell to Conan (a la 1948 stage drama):
[Curtain opens. Squeaky, front door of ranch house opens]

Me [in kitchen, preparing sophisticated drinks]:
Conan? Is that you? Conan? Come on in, old pal! I've been waitin' for ya'! I made us pork chop and beans, ya' son of a gun. Come here.
[quiet *thump* sound on the ground near the front door]
Annie's been waitin' 17 years for আপনি to come into our home, and here আপনি are! Put down your কোট n' hat, ya' hootin' tomcat; kick off your shoes and settle in. Annie got the guest room ready; আপনি can stay there as long as আপনি need to get on your feet. Boy oh boy, it's good to finally see আপনি as a man.
Conan, come in here already.! Conan, geez, don't be a stranger. Conan?
[I walk to the foyer and stop.]
Conan?! Why do আপনি have a ছুরি in your back!! Why is there blood all over the floor!! Why are আপনি lying there, face down!!
[I rush to Conan, turn him over and rest his head in my right hand and তীক্ষ্নভাবে his face back and forth with the left.]
Conan? Snap out of it buddy. আপনি look like you've seen a poltergeist! But then again, আপনি always do. Conan? Now is not the time to sleep!! We have to clean up this blood. Conan? It's your blood. Conan!! Somebody call the doctor!!! Somebody!! Call! The doctor!!
Don't die on me now, Conan! আপনি bastard!! Things were just starting to get good!! Conan!! আপনি can't do this to me!! Those fiends will pay!! Those fiends will pay!!

Oh! Conan!!
Conan! Conan! Conan!
Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan! [ad infinitum]

[Curtain closes]