Damon & Elena Club
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"Choices aren't what আপনি think. They're fickle, dangerous things. Slippery, unpredictable. Tenacious. The big ones just don't go away. আপনি make them once, but they keep coming back, demanding to be re-made again and again, insisting that আপনি own them."

'Rosie: Note To Self', Claire Connor with G.P. Taylor


I'm going to be direct here: it KILLED me that Elena chose Stefan in the finale. I think a lot of অনুরাগী expected her to make the right choice, but she didn't. She made the wrong one.
I would never do Elena the dishonour দ্বারা arguing that she didn't প্রণয় Stefan. We all know she does. She loved him all the way through his ripper phase this season, and she ব্যক্ত she loved him in that excruciating phone-call to Damon too. So she loves Stefan, I believe her. The issue is not: 'Which brother do I love?' because she আরো অথবা less ব্যক্ত she loves them both to Matt. The issue, and the problem at the হৃদয় of her choice is that she made it based on select components, which she believes overrides her প্রণয় for Damon, IN SPITE of her প্রণয় for Damon being arguably আরো intense than her প্রণয় for Stefan.

Elena's choice is complicated দ্বারা the knowledge that Stefan saved her life, and that afterwards, being with him apparently taught her how to live again at a time when she felt lost. When Matt asks if she feels like she 'owes' him, she denies it. But I wonder...

"After the accident, I kind of felt like I didn't know how to live anymore. Like I didn't want to. But then being with Stefan...somehow I figured it out. And that's what প্রণয় should be. আপনি should প্রণয় the person that makes আপনি glad that you're alive."

Where is the passion in this speech? Does it sound like a girl who's madly in love? Notice that towards the end of her speech, something strange happens, and Elena refers to herself in the third person. It's not "I", it's "You". She doesn't say "I প্রণয় Stefan because he makes me glad to be alive," অথবা "When I'm with him I feel alive". She says "You SHOULD..." almost as if she is trying to convince herself that it's the right thing to do. She can't admit it because she doesn't think that's what she's doing, but Elena's basically saying that she loves Stefan because he made her feel alive at a time when she felt dead. In her mind, this makes total sense, but her logic is very warped to me.

Here's the thing: প্রণয় isn't about a তালিকা of what আপনি 'should' do. If আপনি think আপনি 'should' do something, the chances are that আপনি won't feel like it doing it. Elena is still very young, and she doesn't yet know what প্রণয় is. She has no mother অথবা aunt to shed some light on the situation she's in, and any উপদেশ Caroline gives her will be hopelessly in favour of Stefan. People don't seem to know what প্রণয় is; their perception of it can vary wildly according to what they believe অথবা it can be very flawed. The truth is, if you've never been deeply in love, then আপনি can't know how it feels অথবা what its like. "You don't understand," Karen tells Derek in 'Smash', "because আপনি don't understand love." Elena has this idea of what প্রণয় is, she thinks she knows what it should be, but the truth is, she just doesn't understand what প্রণয় really is.

Although Elena can be forgiven for believing that she should প্রণয় Stefan because he got her back on her feet and made her feel "alive", she is mistaken in thinking that's what প্রণয় is.
Elena says that when she's with Damon it just "consumes" her, and Stelena shippers will undoubtedly pounce on this and immediately denounce her feelings as unhealthy অথবা wrong, and something that is not real প্রণয় at all. "Real প্রণয় is not a "consuming love". It is a love that makes আপনি feel alive, makes আপনি glad that you´re alive. That is the greatest thing আপনি can feel..." one such person wrote.
I think they're misguided in their thinking, because "real love" IS consuming, অথবা it can be. Some of the greatest প্রণয় stories ever told are about a প্রণয় that "consumes" the characters. The most famous প্রণয় songs in the world weren't written because the song-writer loved somebody who made them happy to be alive, but because they loved someone so much, it hurt.

Loving someone who makes আপনি glad to be alive isn't necessarily what makes a relationship "great", nor is it the greatest thing আপনি can feel. It might be a part of it, but if প্রণয় doesn't take over you, if it's not so intense that it would make আপনি want to go to the ends of the earth for someone, অথবা drives আপনি to distraction, অথবা fills your every waking moment, অথবা has the power to destroy you, then...maybe আপনি have a problem. Maybe it's not what আপনি think it is and it's not the greatest প্রণয় it could be.
When I was 19 and in my সেকেন্ড বছর at university, I met a guy and fell head over heels crazy in প্রণয় with him. Did he make me feel alive? Yes, but আরো importantly, I was utterly consumed দ্বারা him. I couldn't think of anything but him, which was a big problem because I was supposed to be studying for my exams. But it was a feeling I couldn't control. Elena talks herself into choosing Stefan দ্বারা rationalising that she has to let one of them go because she can't প্রণয় them both. Being consumed দ্বারা what she feels for Damon naturally makes her feel alive too, to the point where it overwhelms and frightens her, but because she didn't fall in প্রণয় with him when she had হারিয়ে গেছে her way, then her loyalty to him isn't as strong as the loyalty she feels towards Stefan. So Elena's choice isn't ultimately about love; it's about who she feels most loyal to at this moment in time. Notice that at no time in her phone-call to Damon does she utter the words "I'll always প্রণয় Stefan." She says "I can't think about always, all I can think about is right now," suggesting perhaps that her choice comes with a time limit, an অন্তিম দিন date. Sure, it's what she wants for now. But what will her choice look like in the months ahead? Elena thinks she's chosen, but in reality she hasn't. Her choice will come back to haunt her, and demand to be re-made until she makes the right one - not the choice she thinks she SHOULD make, but the one she really wants, deep inside.
"You want a প্রণয় that consumes you," Damon tells her in the flashback. "You want passion, and adventure and even a little danger." As long as Elena clings to Stefan, she will never have what her হৃদয় truly desires.
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