Dear Abby,
দ্বারা the time আপনি read this letter, Luka should be নিরাপদ in America and আপনি will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before আপনি go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if আপনি could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe আপনি will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, আপনি know? When I think back on our last বছর together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that আপনি don't.
You're much stronger than আপনি think. আপনি don't need me, Abby, and I don't think আপনি ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point আপনি convinced yourself that I was the right guy for আপনি - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what আপনি really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what আপনি expected, and আপনি didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave আপনি as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were আরো important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any আরো kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. আপনি are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
দ্বারা the time আপনি read this letter, Luka should be নিরাপদ in America and আপনি will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before আপনি go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if আপনি could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe আপনি will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, আপনি know? When I think back on our last বছর together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that আপনি don't.
You're much stronger than আপনি think. আপনি don't need me, Abby, and I don't think আপনি ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point আপনি convinced yourself that I was the right guy for আপনি - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what আপনি really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what আপনি expected, and আপনি didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave আপনি as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were আরো important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any আরো kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. আপনি are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
