Right. I’m sorry to do this but I’ve been left with no other options seeing as Cook and JJ claim to remember less than I do about last night. This is an appeal. To the lady... Now Cook says that আপনি were ginger but he also told me that আপনি were 52 and he’d necked a load of acid so... Any way as I said, I’m really sorry about not being able to quite remember your face but I’m sure it was very beautiful...

We were at the Hot Sundee নৌকা Party and I remember we jumped into the water, as I now have a killer fucking cold and my trainers smell like (as Cook so eloquently put it) a mermaids...