Mother was a handful as usual and as usual she was able to find fault with everything I did.
I am the "Dean of Medicine", graduated medical school in the শীর্ষ of my class, and I run a hospital and it is still not enough to earn her respect.
She called me a slut. How could she actually call me....?
Then there is House. আপনি were going to stand up for me. আপনি felt defensive of me. I should tell আপনি that I loved the way that felt. আপনি whom I have loved forever and wanted to pay some attention to me. আপনি felt like a hero to me in that moment. I know আপনি needed time alone. I have done nothing but order আপনি around and keep আপনি jumping through hoops.
I don't know why everything আপনি do makes me আরো afraid that this is not what আপনি want. I wish I could tell আপনি that I am scared. I have never wanted many things in my life. My life has been based on gaining approval. But, "I want you." I have always wanted you.
"I am screwing this up." I am screwing us up.
I wish I could tell আপনি that when আপনি walk into the room I just want to touch you. I think about what it feels like when your lips brush across mine. I can feel আপনি inside me and how amziing আপনি feel to me. I can feel আপনি in my core. The moment that আপনি took me in your arms and আপনি picked up and I laid underneath you. I never imagined that আপনি would feel so good to me. I felt like I was.........................Home.
I knew from the beginning that দিন in the bookstore I would never meet another man that I wanted the way I wanted you. But I know it doesn't seem that way. Lately I can't hold a smile. Lately...... Lately I am so afraid আপনি will find out I am not what আপনি want. আপনি will realize I am not good enough.
She put her head in her hands and tears began streaming down her face. I need আপনি House. I need আপনি so much. Please ........
At that moment she felt a hand touch her. She didn't jump because she knew the touch.
Cuddy come here. House pulled her up gently and he sat down and she sat in his lap and she buried her head in his shoulder. He held her and he rocked as she cried.
Cuddy talk to me. Tell me what's wrong.
She just hung on to him tighter and cried harder.
Why are আপনি so upset now? Is it because I drugged your mother অথবা I tried to get out of being here? I am sorry. Cuddy do আপনি want out of this?
She raised up and she put her hand on his face. Maybe that would be the best. Maybe this is just আরো than আপনি can handle.
With that he stood up. "What?!" আরো than I can handle? I am not the one who looks miserable all the time অথবা barks out orders like they are a drill instructor. আপনি wait on me to screw up অথবা to let আপনি down.
House maybe that is why আপনি lied to me অথবা tried to get out of my birthday dinner. আপনি are just sabtoging this.
Again with the lying. Cuddy I did that to save my patient. I didn't tell আপনি afterwards because আপনি made a production out of me respecting your wishes. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt us. I didn't want to lose you.
I drugged your mother because I didn't want to spend the evening with her and her ranting. I didn't want to listen to Wilson whining.
For someone who didn't want me to change আপনি have done nothing but try to change me. I feel like I am on a tightrope.
Well আপনি can leave. আপনি don't have to be here. আপনি are free to leave anytime আপনি want. I have always survived. I cried myself to sleep many nights because of you. One আরো is not really a big deal.
He approached her and she tried to pull away but he held on. I don't want to leave Cuddy. I.....
We have everything but the truth Cuddy.
"Cuddy what is the truth?" He put his finger under her jaw and raised her face upward until their eyes met.
"I can't..................."
"Cuddy", the truth?
Her eyes were so full of fear and then she just ব্যক্ত it.
I'm afraid!!! ok I am afraid.
আপনি are not the only one who is broken and screwed up. I am so in প্রণয় with you. আপনি were my ফ্যান্টাসি House. আপনি were in my head and now আপনি are in my............ And again the tears streamed down her face.
You're in my হৃদয় now and I don't know how to deal with it. I know what it feels like to be touched দ্বারা আপনি and how আপনি feel when আপনি make প্রণয় to me and I can't imagine how that would feel if I...... if I lost........
He wrapped his arms around her little frame and sighed and as he began to speak a tear escaped his eyes.
Cuddy I was drowning in my self pity and my pills and আপনি put your faith in me and আপনি found a way to breathe life back into me. That chasm that we talked about a few years ago; আপনি turned a deaf ear to it and আপনি just dealt with me from your heart.
I am a different man now. I am here because I want to be here and I am trying to reach you. Cuddy come here to me.
Cuddy, "I প্রণয় you. He led her to the পিয়ানো and he began to play.
"Wilson had it sent over from his condo to Cuddy's." It was therapuetic for House and Wilson had bought for him.
As he played the tension in her body eased and she watched his hands সরানো across the keys.
"That is beautiful House. What is it?
"Cuddy's Serenade." I composed it the night of Rachel's Simchat.
"What?"
I wrote it that night.
House I wanted to invite you. "I wanted আপনি there." I didn't know how to say it অথবা how to ask you.
There was a moment that I realized আপনি had always been there to save me Cuddy and আপনি took the hit and my wrath. I realized how much আপনি have প্রদত্ত up and sacrificed for me. আপনি put yourself out there for this hospital, patients, and for me.
I was so mad at আপনি about the surgery আপনি did but আপনি did it to save my life. আপনি knew I would be furious.
House did আপনি forgive me?
Cuddy আপনি have been there every step and took everything I had to dish out. The প্রশ্ন is now,
"can আপনি forgive me?"
"I প্রণয় আপনি Cuddy." "The way আপনি draw your bottom lip in when আপনি want something and আপনি don't know how to ask for it. The way আপনি raise your eyebrow and square your shoulders when আপনি are trying to put your foot down. The way আপনি flirt with me and even the way আপনি look at me at the ডিনার টেবিল when I am getting ready to put your mother in her place."
"House", I thought আপনি wanted the night alone.
"That's the thing Cuddy." I am never alone. I don't feel alone and I like the way that feels. The only thing I could think of anyway was আপনি naked. So here I am.
"She laughed" and then she laughed harder. He watched her but then as he was watching her he just leaned into her. Cuddy I want you.
House আপনি always want sex.
No. I want you. I want আপনি to hear আপনি laugh. I want আপনি to stop preparing for defeat and open up to me. I want আপনি to wear low cut blouses to get my attention. I want আপনি to put me in my place when I am being a jerk. I want আপনি to let me in.
"House." And she drew her bottom lip in as she stood up. She raised up on her tip toes and she kissed him. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom and began to undress him and with all abandon she made প্রণয় to him.
She left him breathless all night.
They were slowly forming a bond and they were beginnning to প্রদর্শনী they had the ability to bend and not break.
As the light came in from the morning sun they looked at each other and they realized this was a new দিন and a chance to make history.
"Their history."
