Jesus jokes page is a collection of clean jokes and funny stories.
আপনি see humor can be a very important part of our life, if we know how to apply it.
I am definitely against dirty jokes and stories which have no spiritual substance and significance.
So, here I will attempt to place only such a humor we can learn from, and at the same time, enjoy a good laugh.
The Bible says that a "merry হৃদয় doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22).
So, enjoy these Jesus jokes, and if আপনি want আরো clean Jesus jokes, the An Unseen World Web Site offers some very good ones. Enjoy!:
And if this section of the web site has blessed You, please consider donating a প্রণয় offering to help keep ut this wonderful work. Thanks.
Coincidence?
A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a বছর to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel. দ্বারা the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oy vey," ব্যক্ত the father, "What have I done!"
He took his problem to his best friend. "Ike," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came প্রথমপাতা a Christian. What can I do?"
"Funny আপনি should ask," ব্যক্ত Ike. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came প্রথমপাতা a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the Rabbi."
They explained their problem to the Rabbi.
"Funny আপনি should ask," ব্যক্ত the rabbi. "I, too sent my son to Israel, and he also came প্রথমপাতা a Christian. What ishappening to our young people?"
They prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.
As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens: "Funny আপনি should ask," ব্যক্ত the voice, "I, too, sent my son to Israel..."
The wisdom of God
God is sitting in heaven when a scientist prays to Him, "God, we don't need আপনি anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what আপনি did in the beginning."
"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." উত্তর God.
"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of আপনি and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's interesting...show Me."
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.
No, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."
The dream shop
A person walks into a big ভান্দার and goes straight to the counter. There he sees Jesus. The man asks: "Lord, what do আপনি have to offer?"
In reply, the Lord asked: "What does your হৃদয় desire?"
"I want peace and happiness in all the world." ব্যক্ত the man (Isn't that what we all want - a trouble free world, where we can relax and enjoy?)
Jesus smiled and said: "Well, I don't offer fruits here - just seeds"
The safest place to be
How to Stay নিরাপদ in the World Today?
Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.
Do not stay প্রথমপাতা because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.
Avoid walking on streets অথবা sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.
Avoid traveling দ্বারা air, rail, অথবা water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.
Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else, avoid hospitals.
আপনি will be pleased to learn than only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually due to পূর্ববর্তি physical disorders. Therefore logic tells us that the safest place for আপনি to be at any প্রদত্ত point in time is at church! Bible study is safe, too. The percentage of deaths during Bible study is even less.
For safety's sake - attend Church and read your Bible . . . it could save your life!
Who destroyed the walls of Jericho?
A minister, responsible for the religious education in a school once visited one of the classes, to check out the education level. He asked the students: "Please tell me, who destroyed the walls of jericho?"
One of the students stood up and said: "It was not me, Sir!"
The minister thought the kids were making fun of him, so he turned to the teacher and asked: "Is this the way students normally behave here?"
The teacher was puzzled and answered: "I think this student is very honest and I really don't belive he could do such a thing".
Confused, the minister went to his assistant and explained to him what had happened. The assistant replied: "I know this guy very well, as well as his teacher, so I am absolutely sure none of them is guilty of destroying that wall".
When the minister heard this, he made a formal complaint before the Christian Eduation Commission. The answer he received from them was the following:
"Dear Sir, let us not make a big issue out of this. We will pay for the damages caused, accounting for them as current school repairs. Whatever the losses are, our insurance will cover them" :-)
Like Moses, Elijah and Jesus
A teenager boy says to his father "Father, please buy me a car. I am already old enough". His father asnwered: "OK, but only after আপনি remove that long beard of yours".
The boy decided to outwit his father - a minister, saying: "But father, Moses had a long beard, Elijah too, and even Jesus".
"True," ব্যক্ত the father, "And they all walked on foot".
আপনি see humor can be a very important part of our life, if we know how to apply it.
I am definitely against dirty jokes and stories which have no spiritual substance and significance.
So, here I will attempt to place only such a humor we can learn from, and at the same time, enjoy a good laugh.
The Bible says that a "merry হৃদয় doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22).
So, enjoy these Jesus jokes, and if আপনি want আরো clean Jesus jokes, the An Unseen World Web Site offers some very good ones. Enjoy!:
And if this section of the web site has blessed You, please consider donating a প্রণয় offering to help keep ut this wonderful work. Thanks.
Coincidence?
A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a বছর to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel. দ্বারা the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oy vey," ব্যক্ত the father, "What have I done!"
He took his problem to his best friend. "Ike," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came প্রথমপাতা a Christian. What can I do?"
"Funny আপনি should ask," ব্যক্ত Ike. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came প্রথমপাতা a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the Rabbi."
They explained their problem to the Rabbi.
"Funny আপনি should ask," ব্যক্ত the rabbi. "I, too sent my son to Israel, and he also came প্রথমপাতা a Christian. What ishappening to our young people?"
They prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.
As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens: "Funny আপনি should ask," ব্যক্ত the voice, "I, too, sent my son to Israel..."
The wisdom of God
God is sitting in heaven when a scientist prays to Him, "God, we don't need আপনি anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what আপনি did in the beginning."
"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." উত্তর God.
"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of আপনি and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's interesting...show Me."
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.
No, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."
The dream shop
A person walks into a big ভান্দার and goes straight to the counter. There he sees Jesus. The man asks: "Lord, what do আপনি have to offer?"
In reply, the Lord asked: "What does your হৃদয় desire?"
"I want peace and happiness in all the world." ব্যক্ত the man (Isn't that what we all want - a trouble free world, where we can relax and enjoy?)
Jesus smiled and said: "Well, I don't offer fruits here - just seeds"
The safest place to be
How to Stay নিরাপদ in the World Today?
Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.
Do not stay প্রথমপাতা because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.
Avoid walking on streets অথবা sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.
Avoid traveling দ্বারা air, rail, অথবা water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.
Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else, avoid hospitals.
আপনি will be pleased to learn than only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually due to পূর্ববর্তি physical disorders. Therefore logic tells us that the safest place for আপনি to be at any প্রদত্ত point in time is at church! Bible study is safe, too. The percentage of deaths during Bible study is even less.
For safety's sake - attend Church and read your Bible . . . it could save your life!
Who destroyed the walls of Jericho?
A minister, responsible for the religious education in a school once visited one of the classes, to check out the education level. He asked the students: "Please tell me, who destroyed the walls of jericho?"
One of the students stood up and said: "It was not me, Sir!"
The minister thought the kids were making fun of him, so he turned to the teacher and asked: "Is this the way students normally behave here?"
The teacher was puzzled and answered: "I think this student is very honest and I really don't belive he could do such a thing".
Confused, the minister went to his assistant and explained to him what had happened. The assistant replied: "I know this guy very well, as well as his teacher, so I am absolutely sure none of them is guilty of destroying that wall".
When the minister heard this, he made a formal complaint before the Christian Eduation Commission. The answer he received from them was the following:
"Dear Sir, let us not make a big issue out of this. We will pay for the damages caused, accounting for them as current school repairs. Whatever the losses are, our insurance will cover them" :-)
Like Moses, Elijah and Jesus
A teenager boy says to his father "Father, please buy me a car. I am already old enough". His father asnwered: "OK, but only after আপনি remove that long beard of yours".
The boy decided to outwit his father - a minister, saying: "But father, Moses had a long beard, Elijah too, and even Jesus".
"True," ব্যক্ত the father, "And they all walked on foot".
Jesus
