Episode 8: The Secret Unicorn Club

June 1, 1951

Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her পরবর্তি assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.

Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn আপনি can't join.
Honey: Who would want to যোগদান your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like খাবার and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want আপনি to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*

Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.

Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only ইউনিকর্ণ are allowed, how is this railway going to make আরো money?
Orion: What do আপনি mean?
Honey: He means only ইউনিকর্ণ can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have আপনি been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do

But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked sick.

Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if আপনি can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.

Five মিনিট later

Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports পরবর্তি to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* আপনি don't have to call me দ্বারা my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are আরো modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, আপনি really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do আপনি need me to do?

At the station

Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do আপনি want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to যোগদান your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we ইউনিকর্ণ are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are আপনি doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: আপনি can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.

Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.

Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do আপনি always say the same thing to a টাট্টু 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered দ্বারা another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: আপনি were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: আপনি just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure আপনি did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.

At the entrance of the jailhouse.

Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. আপনি can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank আপনি *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*

Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station

Gordon: Thank আপনি for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but আপনি gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: আপনি got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all আপনি had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when আপনি have to think of others. If আপনি keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself দ্বারা getting rid of all the ponies আপনি care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*

Gordon went to everypony

Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can আপনি all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with আপনি Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: আপনি may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why আপনি hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!

Ten years later

Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I ব্যক্ত some things that would eventually become a lie.

The end

On the পরবর্তি episode of ponies on the rails

Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.