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Science Confirms সারমেয় প্রণয় Us

Science has confirmed that সারমেয় প্রণয় us back, because they get the same rush of Oxycontin when they look at us that we get when we look at them.

No, really!

Are আপনি telling me সারমেয় look up at us and see us adorable?

The dog is thinking: I am a fuzzy creature and your a different adorable creature. And আপনি smell interesting. I প্রণয় you!

(The cat is thinking: I am a graceful leader to be worshiped. আপনি should bow when I enter the room.)

This explains why superior মার্জার occasionally try to bathe us.

It's true. মার্জার see us giant, dumb, hairless babies. That's why they bring...
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Life Explained দ্বারা God

When God created the world, he also created the dog, the monkey, and the cow. It's a simple story, told through the eyes of the dog, the monkey, and the cow, and their conversations with God during creation.

God Created the Dog
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all দিন দ্বারা the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in অথবা walks past. For this, I will give আপনি a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give আপনি back the other ten?"

So God agreed with the dog.

On the সেকেন্ড day, God...
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posted by laura1233214
8:00 am - Dog food! My পছন্দ thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My পছন্দ thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My পছন্দ thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My পছন্দ thing!
12:00 pm - দুধ bones! My পছন্দ thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My পছন্দ thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My পছন্দ thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My পছন্দ thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My পছন্দ thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My পছন্দ thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My পছন্দ thing!
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. সারমেয় প্রণয় 'em.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Enjoy dog days.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple doggie growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady dogwood tree.

When you're...
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posted by laura1233214
The Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed কাটা অথবা some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a মাউস and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since...
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posted by laura1233214
Cat Rule Number 1

The cat is not allowed in the house.

Cat Rule Number 2

The cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.

Cat Rule Number 3

The cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.

Cat Rule Number 4

The cat can get on the old furniture only.

Cat Rule Number 5

The cat is allowed on all the furniture, but it is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.

Cat Rule Number 6

The cat can sleep on the bed, but not under the covers অথবা on the pillow.

Cat Rule Number 7

The cat can sleep under the covers and on the বালিশ দ্বারা invitation only.

Cat Rule Number 8

The cat can sleep under the covers every night and on the বালিশ too.

Cat Rule Number 9

Humans must ask permission to sleep under the cover with the cat; only the cat can sleep on the pillow.

Cat Rule Number 10

The cat gives humans a haughty and dismissive look whenever they deign to use the cat's pillow.
Instructions for Giving your Cat a Pill
Pick cat up and শৈশবাবস্থা it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. শৈশবাবস্থা cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, শৈশবাবস্থা cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push...
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added by laura1233214
added by laura1233214
posted by laura1233214
রামধনু Bridge



Just this side of heaven is a place called রামধনু Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to রামধনু Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special বন্ধু so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our বন্ধু are warm and comfortable.

All the জন্তু জানোয়ার who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor;
those who were hurt অথবা maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember
them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The জন্তু জানোয়ার are happy and content, except...
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