"I ended up crying myself to sleep on Michael's side of the bed"
I sat on the পালঙ্ক watching the newest movie I had made,"Queen of the Damned" and I played the sister of LeStat, Lillia. Michael had wanted to watch it but then left near the ending to get ready to pack for his flight. He had to leave the house দ্বারা 5:30 and his flight leaves at 6:30 for his tour with his brothers. As I kept thinking about the fact Michael was leaving and I wasn't going to see him for three years, I started to cry but I tried to keep it in. It was hard for me to be without him before. Now since we're in প্রণয় and engaged, I don't think I can go through that again. I started to বিতর্ক whether I should help him অথবা not. Might as well cherish the last moments I'm going to have with him before I send him off at the airport. I headed my way up to our room and wiped the tears off my face.
I entered into our bedroom finding Michael sitting on his side of the bed, crying. I crawled across the বিছানা and sat behind him with me legs spread apart so I could be against his back and I wrapped my arms around him. "Michael, what's the matter? What's wrong?" He grabbed my thigh from behind him and said,"I don't want to do this. I can't leave you. I don't want to leave." I started to get teary-eyed feel terrible for Michael. "I know, baby. I don't want আপনি to go either, but before আপনি know it we'll be back together. I'll come প্রথমপাতা from my tour and we'll be together again." I started to চুম্বন his shoulder and tried to comfort him in anyway I could.
He stood up and started to come ontop of me and চুম্বন my lips hard and deep like never before. "But I don't *kiss* want to wait three *kiss* years to be able to *kiss* hold আপনি অথবা *kiss* hug আপনি অথবা *kiss* চুম্বন আপনি অথবা touch আপনি অথবা *long kiss* make প্রণয় to you. I need you." Michael never gave me a chance to speak. All he did was trap me with his sweet mouth. He tried so hard to remove my শার্ট while grinding and স্নেহ চুম্বন me but I kept resisting. "Michael......ugh.....you have to *kiss* stop." Michael slowly slid his tongue into my mouth and kept putting it in there as he kissed me hard. He never kissed me like that. Hard and deep while French স্নেহ চুম্বন me? He never rammed his tongue down my throat until now. I can tell he was upset and he wanted this just one last time before he was to say "Goodbye" until 1987.
I needed him to listen. Michael wasn't focusing on my words. I put my hands on his chest and started to rub up and down. I let out moans whenever my mouth was somewhat free. Michael was also doing that while still grinding me and making me মোড়ানো my legs around his waist. He let go of my lips and was about to rip my শার্ট apart. He was now rougher than ever! I placed my hands on his, indicating I didn't want Michael to do it. "What?" he asked. "Michael, I know আপনি প্রণয় me and I know আপনি don't want to leave me but আপনি have no choice. And as much as I would like to make প্রণয় with আপনি one আরো time before we are separated, we can't. We don't have time. Good thing your bag is packed because we have to go now." I got off the বিছানা and stood in front of Michael and grabbed his hand. He grabbed his last suitcase and we headed outside to the limo.
*At the airport*
Michael and his brothers all went to make sure everything was still ready for the jet. As they were all boarding the plane, Michael stayed off. He watched his brothers give their luggage and walk up the steps to the plane. Michael handed his own luggage and looked back at me. He ব্যক্ত something to the pilot and started to walk back my way. I figured he wanted to say "Goodbye" one আরো time. I started walking towards him and cry. Michael came up to me and wrapped his arms across my back and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We hugged each other the same way we did then night we had our first kiss. I was trying to hold back the tears but they kept coming out. I rubbed the back of his head and held him tight to me. "I'm going to miss you, so much." I said. "I'll miss you, too. I'll call every single দিন while I'm tour. I promise."
We finally let go of our grip and looked at each other. "I প্রণয় you." I ব্যক্ত while beginning to really cry. Michael had tears coming out of his eyes but he wasn't crying. "I প্রণয় you." Michael grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me in to চুম্বন him one আরো time. I pulled him into me as much as I could as he put his arms back around me. Our tears went down to our lips and mixed with the kiss. I held the back of Michael's head and, this time, started to, once more, French চুম্বন him. I could feel his grip getting tighter on my back. Our fast pace finally started to slow down and we started to চুম্বন আরো gently. We stop but our lips were still touching. I caressed the side of his face as we gave each other one আরো peck. Michael looked at me and cupped his hand on the side of my face. "Everything will be okay. I promise. I won't break my promise to marry you. I swear." he said.
Michael gave me one আরো quick peck on my mouth and slowly let go of my body and just held my left hand. As he slowly walked backwards, Michael let go of my hand. I saw him turn around to face the plane. I could feel my হৃদয় ache as I watched him leave. I wanted to do nothing but cry. I saw Michael turn back around to face me before he walked inside of the plane and wave to me. I waved back and watched him disappear. I was still crying even though I felt I was somewhat overreacting. I couldn't see any of the boys anymore. They all disappeared before my eyes. I heard the plane get ready to take off and saw Michael in one of the windows watching me. As the plane started to সরানো away, I waved to Michael as he did to me. পরবর্তি thing I knew, Michael was out of my sight and the plane was off the ground and in the air.
I walked back to the limo, holding my cell phone, waiting for it to ring and it be Michael. I honestly didn't feel as much pain as I thought I would. My stomach ached and I wanted to cry but I didn't feel like my হৃদয় was ripped out again. Maybe it's because I knew I would see Michael again. I wasn't being torn away from him, I was just not going to see him for a while. I still missed him terribly. I rode in the far back দ্বারা myself and put in my earbuds to listen to music. I turned my mP3 Player up to 15 and drowned myself in extremely loud heavy metal music. I never listen to mine অথবা Michael's সঙ্গীত when I'm upset about us. I could feel my ear vibrating from the hard গিটার and drums and the loud screaming the singer was making. Even though the person was screaming, I still understood what they were saying and the chorus fit how I felt perfectly.
The lyrics were,"I see hell in your eyes/Take it in দ্বারা surprise/Touching আপনি makes me feel alive/Touching আপনি makes me die inside/". When I did look into Michael's eyes, they were bright like the fires from hell and I was always surprised দ্বারা some of his "naughty" actions. When I do feel him and touch, I do feel alive and when I do touch him, my darker side dies. Everything that is ব্যক্ত in the chorus is what I feel. And I feel......loved but alone. I closed my eyes and listened to the সঙ্গীত until I got to my big mansion "Never-Land".
After I came প্রথমপাতা and went upstairs, I took a ঝরনা and cleaned myself up and put on one of my shirts finding one of Michael's button-down shirts on the floor. I lifted it up and held it close, taking in the sweet smell Michael left on it. I decided to wear his শার্ট instead so I could feel like he was somewhat here. I looked at the clock and saw it was 9:00 pm. Michael still hasn't called but that probably because he is still on the plane flying to Italy.
I crawled into বিছানা and layed there, thinking of all the memories Michael and I have created in this room. All the funny memories, sweet memories, "naughty" memories and passionate memories. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I saw him again and remembered how I felt when I saw Michael again. I layed there with my eyes shut and never opened them again. I started to feel tears running down the side of my face. As I layed there, I ended up crying myself to sleep on Michael's side of the bed, praying I would feel his arms around me and his body against mine while hearing his sweet innocent voice saying,"I প্রণয় you". But the weird thing is I DID feel a body against me and arms around me and I DID hear his voice but he didn't say "I প্রণয় you" he ব্যক্ত "I'm here for you". I slowly turned around to see. . . . .
To be continued............
"I lifted it up and held it close, taking in the sweet smell Michael left on it"
pic says it all
She dances to his needs
She dances ’til he feels just right
Until he falls asleep
She dances at the crack of dawn
And quickly cooks his food
She can’t be late, can’t take too long
The kids must get to school
[Chorus: (2x)]
She’s a slave to the rhythm
She’s a slave to the rhythm of
She’s a slave to the rhythm
She’s a slave to the rhythm of
The rhythm of love, the rhythm of love
She dances for the man at work
Who works her all the time
She dances so, and she says so
“I must be প্রথমপাতা tonight”
She dances to the রান্নাঘর stove
ডিনার is served দ্বারা nine
She says this খাবার is the power
She must be out her mind…
She works so hard, just to make her way
For a man who just don’t appreciate
And don’t know it takes
And was all in vain
…
She danced the night
That they fell out
She swore she’d dance no more
But then she did, she did not quit
And she ran out the door
…
Michael and hes family live after all Michael Joseph Jackson live son 44444444444444 ever in our hearts and forever be in heaven heeeheeehee
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The পরবর্তি দিন Michael ব্যক্ত " Hannah sweetheart wake up" Hannah didnt wake up Michael ব্যক্ত " Hannah wake up" Michael ব্যক্ত " baby Isabella wake up" Isabella ব্যক্ত " yes what happen?" Michael ব্যক্ত " Hannah isn't waking up" Isabella ব্যক্ত " baby take Hannah take her to hospital" Hannah ব্যক্ত " daddy daddy" Michael OMG Hannah what happen?" Hannah ব্যক্ত " i had a bad dream daddy" Michael ব্যক্ত " what happen in the dream" Hannah ব্যক্ত " Daddy i saw monsters trynna to get me" Michael ব্যক্ত " it be ok Hannah me and Isabella are here ok আপনি don't have to worry about ok Hannah" Hannah ব্যক্ত " ok Daddy" so the rest of the দিন was fun family time together it was nice and sweet then Hannah was fast sleep and Michael ব্যক্ত " so baby what do u want do tonight u want watch a movie" Isabella ব্যক্ত " idk " Michael ব্যক্ত " ok i am go sleep " Isabella ব্যক্ত " alright baby " চুম্বন goodnight . to be contuine
after chatting, they have ডিনার and talk about how things after she moved to LA, after that, they have a super soaker fight.
and when all of the people in the house are allready go out from the house,
suddenly michael jackson see a letter inside joshephine's bag, and he start to readingit. then he surprised that inside the letter that said:
" dear joshephine, i know that your mom and dad is on the way to indonesia, but is hard to tell me that both of your parents didn't make it, they bought die in a plane crash. that make all of the crue and passenger died, so as hard that i have to tell আপনি that, i have to send আপনি to los angeles with your aunt, to start all over with a brand new life.
hope আপনি understand me, that i am very sorry about your lost.
dr.maria"
michael is so surprised because of that, and knowing josephine is an orphan now.
and when all of the people in the house are allready go out from the house,
suddenly michael jackson see a letter inside joshephine's bag, and he start to readingit. then he surprised that inside the letter that said:
" dear joshephine, i know that your mom and dad is on the way to indonesia, but is hard to tell me that both of your parents didn't make it, they bought die in a plane crash. that make all of the crue and passenger died, so as hard that i have to tell আপনি that, i have to send আপনি to los angeles with your aunt, to start all over with a brand new life.
hope আপনি understand me, that i am very sorry about your lost.
dr.maria"
michael is so surprised because of that, and knowing josephine is an orphan now.
one day, there's a girl name josephine, who just moved to LA with her aunt. after moving in, she goes to an অভিনয় school. the same school with michael jackson kids.
and at the first দিন at school, it seems like 4ever 4 her.after school, she goes প্রথমপাতা to her house that only 4 bloks away from neverland.
and at the পরবর্তি day, she goes to the same class with paris. then, paris and her group is planning to prank josephine.
she planned that at p.e, when it's dogeball time, they all gonna beat joshephine. then, that all happen with only a বিভক্ত করা of minute.
because of that, josephine have to go to th nurse room.
but the পরবর্তি day, is the worst দিন for paris. paris almost always fail her math. but, as the teacher see that josephine is really really good at math, the math teacher told josephine to tutor paris.
for joshephine, it's really ok. but 4 paris, it was the worst দিন and the worst felling ever...
and at the first দিন at school, it seems like 4ever 4 her.after school, she goes প্রথমপাতা to her house that only 4 bloks away from neverland.
and at the পরবর্তি day, she goes to the same class with paris. then, paris and her group is planning to prank josephine.
she planned that at p.e, when it's dogeball time, they all gonna beat joshephine. then, that all happen with only a বিভক্ত করা of minute.
because of that, josephine have to go to th nurse room.
but the পরবর্তি day, is the worst দিন for paris. paris almost always fail her math. but, as the teacher see that josephine is really really good at math, the math teacher told josephine to tutor paris.
for joshephine, it's really ok. but 4 paris, it was the worst দিন and the worst felling ever...
Don't try to fight it. You know that you want me, girl
Michael my heart,
last night I dream of you,
আপনি were embracing me from my back.
I heard your heartbeat and it beats so fast,
like our promise that our প্রণয় will never end.
We had so much fun together,
that I wished to go on forever.
Talks and laugh ,kissing and cuddling,
like no other people existing.
Holding each others hands while we walked,
all your attention was just for us.
I can't think of anything when আপনি talked,
but I প্রণয় আপনি আরো and more, আপনি see.
We stopped walking and আপনি looked at me sweetly,
then আপনি leaned over and kissed me.
My হৃদয় popped out and I saw butterflies,
আপনি ব্যক্ত আপনি প্রণয় me truly. oh sorry and then, I awake up and my dream was to end.
It was still a memory to reminisce, your চুম্বন was so tender and sweet.
প্রণয় and miss আপনি !! ♥
last night I dream of you,
আপনি were embracing me from my back.
I heard your heartbeat and it beats so fast,
like our promise that our প্রণয় will never end.
We had so much fun together,
that I wished to go on forever.
Talks and laugh ,kissing and cuddling,
like no other people existing.
Holding each others hands while we walked,
all your attention was just for us.
I can't think of anything when আপনি talked,
but I প্রণয় আপনি আরো and more, আপনি see.
We stopped walking and আপনি looked at me sweetly,
then আপনি leaned over and kissed me.
My হৃদয় popped out and I saw butterflies,
আপনি ব্যক্ত আপনি প্রণয় me truly. oh sorry and then, I awake up and my dream was to end.
It was still a memory to reminisce, your চুম্বন was so tender and sweet.
প্রণয় and miss আপনি !! ♥
Ryan White, symbol of justice
অথবা child of innocence, messenger of love
Where are আপনি now, where have আপনি gone?
Ryan White, I miss your sunny days
We carelessly frolicked in extended plays
I miss you, Ryan White
I miss your smile, innocent and bright
I miss your glory, I miss your light
Ryan White, symbol of contradiction
Child of Irony, অথবা child of fiction?
I think of your shattered life
Of your struggle, of your strife
While ladies dance in the moonlit night
Champage parties on charted cruises
I see your wasted form, your ghostly sight
I feel your festering wounds, your battered bruises
Ryan White, symbol of agony and pain
Of ignorant fear gone insane
In a hysterical society
With free-floating anxiety
And feigned piety
I miss you, Ryan White
আপনি showed us how to stand and fight
In the rain আপনি were the cloudburst joy
The sparkle of hope in every girl and boy
In the depths of your anguished sorrow
Was the dream of another tomorrow
Back to poem site
অথবা child of innocence, messenger of love
Where are আপনি now, where have আপনি gone?
Ryan White, I miss your sunny days
We carelessly frolicked in extended plays
I miss you, Ryan White
I miss your smile, innocent and bright
I miss your glory, I miss your light
Ryan White, symbol of contradiction
Child of Irony, অথবা child of fiction?
I think of your shattered life
Of your struggle, of your strife
While ladies dance in the moonlit night
Champage parties on charted cruises
I see your wasted form, your ghostly sight
I feel your festering wounds, your battered bruises
Ryan White, symbol of agony and pain
Of ignorant fear gone insane
In a hysterical society
With free-floating anxiety
And feigned piety
I miss you, Ryan White
আপনি showed us how to stand and fight
In the rain আপনি were the cloudburst joy
The sparkle of hope in every girl and boy
In the depths of your anguished sorrow
Was the dream of another tomorrow
Back to poem site
People ask me how I make music. I tell them I
just step into it.It's like stepping into a river and
joining the flow. Every moment in the river has
it's song. So I stay in the moment and listen.
What I hear is never the same. A walk
through the woods brings a light, crackling
song:Leaves rustle in the wind, birds chatter and
Squirrels scold, twigs crunch underfoot, and
the beat of my হৃদয় holds it all together. When
আপনি যোগদান the flow, the সঙ্গীত is inside and outside,
and both are the same. As long as I can listen to
the moment, I'll always have music.
just step into it.It's like stepping into a river and
joining the flow. Every moment in the river has
it's song. So I stay in the moment and listen.
What I hear is never the same. A walk
through the woods brings a light, crackling
song:Leaves rustle in the wind, birds chatter and
Squirrels scold, twigs crunch underfoot, and
the beat of my হৃদয় holds it all together. When
আপনি যোগদান the flow, the সঙ্গীত is inside and outside,
and both are the same. As long as I can listen to
the moment, I'll always have music.
