January 4, 2014,

I have been a complete emotional wreck ever since I found out that Damien wants to fight me for custody of Carter. Part of me wants to believe that it's because he's a changed person and wants to be a father to Carter; but I know in my হৃদয় that that isn't the truth! Never in 1 million years did I think Damien would do something like this!

I had spent all morning in my bedroom and had not come downstairs in days! Kyle came upstairs and sat down পরবর্তি to me on the bed. He asked "are আপনি okay? I've never seen আপনি cry so much before!" I ব্যক্ত "I won't be okay until this whole Damien thing is over with! Carter's five years old and still thinks that you're his father! I was hoping it would stay that way for a long time! I don't want him to face the reality of who his father really is! Damien isn't the kind of father that Carter can be proud of! Damien is an alcoholic player who takes advantage of any girl that he sees and he is living in some chick's basement! I don't want Carter exposed to all of that; especially because he understands so much আরো now than he did before!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I hate that we even have to deal with this right now! If Damien really wanted to spend time with Carter he should have started five years পূর্বে when he was born!" I ব্যক্ত "this just sucks and that's all that there is to it!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I do know one thing though; আপনি need to get out of this room because you're depressing yourself even আরো দ্বারা being alone and crying! Carter's been asking me why আপনি haven't seen him in a few days! I told him that আপনি didn't feel good and that আপনি would come down eventually! I promise আপনি that if আপনি go downstairs আপনি will feel better!" I wiped tears off of my eyes and kissed Kyle. I ব্যক্ত "I suppose I should go down there."

Kyle and I walked downstairs and into the living room. Carter turned around and jumped up from the spot where he was sitting on the floor as soon as he saw me. He ran up to me and gave me a huge hug. I knelt down in front of him and he looked at how red my eyes were from the nonstop crying I had been doing. He asked "are আপনি okay mommy? Were আপনি crying?" I ব্যক্ত "no; I wasn't crying." He asked "how come আপনি weren't coming out of your room? How come daddy had to bring খাবার up to আপনি and make আপনি eat?" I ব্যক্ত "I was just busy working on stuff for my job buddy. I needed to be up there because it's quiet and I can think better. Daddy brought the খাবার up to me because I didn't want to stop working at all; but I promise that I'm going to be down here during the দিন from now on." Carter ব্যক্ত "you missed my first দিন of kindergarten! I was so sad; I thought আপনি were at least going to be there when daddy picked me up!" I ব্যক্ত "I know buddy; I'm sorry! I promise I'll drop আপনি off all দ্বারা myself tomorrow." Carter got all excited and ব্যক্ত "I can't wait for আপনি to meet my teacher and friends!" I ব্যক্ত "I only missed one দিন of আপনি going to school and I promise I won't miss any more!" He gave me a চুম্বন and ব্যক্ত "I'm so happy that আপনি finally came out of your bedroom mommy! I missed you!"

January 5, 2014,

Carter sat in the living room watching TV and eating a bowl of cereal as I tried to wake up দ্বারা drinking my usual স্টারবাক্স্‌ coffee that Kyle picked up for me like he does every morning. I put some hair gel in Carter's hair to spike his little fauxhawk and helped him tie his shoes. He ran over and gave Kyle a hug as he grabbed his SpongeBob backpack.

I drove him to school and helped him climb down the high step that is in my truck. Before I could stop him, Carter bolted inside the elementary school and I chased after him. He ব্যক্ত "come on mommy; I want to প্রদর্শনী আপনি my classroom!" I ব্যক্ত "you have to hang on because I have to sign আপনি in at the office so they know you're here." He grabbed my hand and we walked into the main office of the school. As we stood there waiting in line, I was not at all prepared for everything that was about to happen.

As we reached the counter I signed my signature on a paper that was attached to a clipboard and a mother standing পরবর্তি to me asked "are আপনি Alanna Jackson?" I passed the clipboard back to the secretary and ব্যক্ত "yeah." She immediately asked "will আপনি sign my daughters iPod? She's a huge অনুরাগী of yours!" I took the pen that was sitting on শীর্ষ of the clipboard and signed the rubber iPod case with my signature. She ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি so much AJ! My daughter is going to freak out when I give this to her when I picked her up later!" I ব্যক্ত "no problem; I'm glad I could make her happy."

I grabbed Carter's hand again and we walked out into the hallway. He ব্যক্ত as he pulled away "there's my classroom mommy!" I followed him inside the room that was covered with shapes all over the wall. He ran up to a woman who didn't look much older than I am and ব্যক্ত "hi miss Lauren!" She bent down in front of him and ব্যক্ত "hi Carter; I thought আপনি weren't coming to school today!" He ব্যক্ত "no; I was! Mommy just was running late this morning!" She ব্যক্ত "okay; go put your backpack in your cubby and I'm going to start বৃত্ত time in about 10 minutes."

I smiled as Carter ran up to a boy and sat down পরবর্তি to him. The teacher finally made eye contact with me and ব্যক্ত "oh my gosh; I didn't realize that আপনি are Carter's mother!" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; I am. I thought my husband would've told আপনি that." She ব্যক্ত "he told me that your name is Alanna; but I guess I didn't make the connection between your first name and Carter's last name! I really had no idea it was আপনি AJ!" I ব্যক্ত "alright; Carter seems to be all set; so I'll pick him up here at the end of the day." She asked "if আপনি want to আপনি can stay and observe the class?" I ব্যক্ত "oh no; I couldn't impose! I'll be back to pick him up at 3 o'clock."

As I walked out of the room, I noticed a sign on the door that ব্যক্ত "parents not permitted to stay for আরো than five মিনিট after class has begun." I wrinkled my eyebrows and walked out of the room.

I arrived back at Neverland 15 মিনিট later and walked through the front door. I put my keys on the counter শীর্ষ and went into the living room. As I sat down on the couch, Kyle asked "how do আপনি like Carter's school babe?" I ব্যক্ত "Carter seems to প্রণয় it and it looks like he's already starting to make বন্ধু with the other kids. Something weird happened with the teacher though." Kyle flipped through the TV channels and asked "what happened?" I ব্যক্ত "as soon as the teacher figured out that I am a celebrity she started to act all weird! She even asked me if I wanted to stay for the দিন and watch her teach the class! When I was leaving the classroom I saw a sign on the door that ব্যক্ত that the parents aren't allowed to stay in the classroom for আরো than five মিনিট after the teacher starts teaching!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "that is weird for her to offer to let আপনি do something that's against the rules." I ব্যক্ত "I think she's giving me special treatment because I'm famous! What people don't understand is that I'm just a normal person like everyone else and I don't want Carter to be spoiled দ্বারা the teacher just because I'm a celebrity!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "now I understand why your dad wanted to homeschool আপনি guys when he was alive because imagine how আপনি would've been treated just because he is Michael Jackson! I ব্যক্ত "I wonder if I made the wrong decision দ্বারা letting Carter go to a normal school! Maybe I should just start homeschooling him instead." Kyle ব্যক্ত "you can't take him out of school now! He loves it there!" I ব্যক্ত "I guess you're right; I just hope all the teachers treat him just like a normal kid because that's what he is! He doesn't need আরো attention than the other kids get from the teacher just because I'm Alanna Jackson!"

January 9, 2014,

I was in the studio working on my new album দ্বারা myself without Frank there because he was busy for the দিন and I was able to get a lot of work done without him critiquing everything that I sang. I stopped after about four hours of nonstop recording to have the স্যান্ডউইচ that I had picked up earlier this morning.

As I sat down to start eating I noticed a rundown car pulled up in front of the recording studio. As soon as the person got out of the car I recognized who it was. Damien walked up to the door and knocked on it a few times. I was debating whether অথবা not to answer it; but eventually I reluctantly opened the door. He asked "what's up AJ?" I asked "who the hell told আপনি that I was at the recording studio?" He ব্যক্ত "I called your manager and he told me because he recognized my name when I told him who I was." I ব্যক্ত "I really don't have anything to say to you!" He ব্যক্ত "I decided to come here a few weeks early; so I wouldn't have to worry about missing the court date. I can't wait to see Carter! How is the little guy?" I ব্যক্ত with irritation in my voice "he's not so little anymore!" Damien asked "isn't he like three years old now?" I rolled my eyes and ব্যক্ত sarcastically "isn't that just great? আপনি don't even know how old your son is!" He asked "how old is he?" I ব্যক্ত "five!" He ব্যক্ত "I can't wait until I get visitation with him. I miss him!"

I ব্যক্ত "quit অভিনয় like আপনি care! I know আপনি don't care about him and আপনি are just trying to squeeze as much money from me as আপনি can! Don't think for a সেকেন্ড that I'm going to take it easy on আপনি when we're in the courthouse before that judge! I'm going to expose আপনি for everything that আপনি really are!" He ব্যক্ত "good luck with that AJ! The judge always feels bad when a son doesn't have a father in his life!" I ব্যক্ত arrogantly "Carter does have a father in his life and he is a whole hell of a lot better father than আপনি would ever be!" He ব্যক্ত "I don't really like the fact that আপনি have your boyfriend around our son without my permission!" I ব্যক্ত "he's not my boyfriend; he is my husband and how do আপনি expect me to ask your permission if you're never around? You're such a jerk and I can already tell that আপনি haven't grown up at all since the last time I saw you!" He ব্যক্ত "okay; I'm going to leave because I want to save all the good fighting for when I kick your গাধা in court!" I ব্যক্ত "we'll see about that when the দিন comes!"

Immediately after Damien left the recording studio, I got in my truck and drove back to the ranch. I went inside and upstairs to the bedroom. I sat down on the বিছানা পরবর্তি to Kyle and he asked "how did work go today?" I raised my eyebrows and ব্যক্ত with a smirk on my face "you'll never guess who I saw today!" He asked "who?" I ব্যক্ত "Damien!" He ব্যক্ত "Damien; what is he doing here in California so soon? The court তারিখ isn't for three আরো weeks!" I ব্যক্ত "I know; he ব্যক্ত that he was coming out here ahead of time to make sure that he didn't miss the court date!" Kyle laughed and asked "how hard is it for Damien to make sure he’s here in time for court?" I ব্যক্ত "I imagine it will be pretty damn hard for him because I can guarantee আপনি he is going to get hammered drunk the night before the court তারিখ and have a hangover when and if he decides to প্রদর্শনী up!" Kyle said" he seems like a real jerk!" I ব্যক্ত as I laughed "he was অভিনয় all cocky and started complaining about how I should have asked him for his permission before I let আপনি around Carter!"

Kyle and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. Kyle ব্যক্ত "that's the most ridiculous load of crap I have ever heard in my life! The guy who drinks all দিন long and has a different girlfriend every two weeks is going to complain about me being around his son!" I ব্যক্ত "trust me babe; I was thinking the same thing! I should probably warn আপনি ahead of time that Damien is probably going to make fun of your British accent just to get a reaction out of you! He doesn't have a lot to go on to plead his case to the judge; so he'll take whatever he can get that's going to make him look better than us!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "don't worry AJ; he doesn't scare me!"

February 19, 2014,

Kyle and I pulled up in front of the Santa Barbara County Courthouse dressed in business স্যুইটস্‌ and I took a deep breath. Kyle put his hand on my shoulder and ব্যক্ত "everything is going to be fine babe!" We got out of the truck and walked up to my lawyer Kenny. I held Kyle's hand as we walked inside and saw Damien sitting on a bench outside the courtroom wearing a casual T-shirt and baggy jeans with his underwear showing. I shook my head in disbelief and Kyle was thinking the exact same thing as me.

Damien's court appointed lawyer talked with Kenny for about 10 মিনিট before we were allowed to enter the courtroom. Kyle sat down পরবর্তি to me at the টেবিল opposite of Damien's টেবিল and our lawyer opened his briefcase. My hands started sweating vigorously as I held onto Kyle's hand and he whispered "everything's going to be okay babe." Kyle's eyes met with Damien's as they saw each other for the first time. Damien snarled his upper lip at Kyle and Kyle just looked away as he shook his head in disbelief.

A male judge sat down behind the podium and hit his gavel on it. The bailiff read aloud "judge Marion Jones presiding over the case of Damien Adam Hayes versus Alanna Michael Jackson in a custody hearing for the child hereby stated as Carter Shawn Jackson. আপনি may proceed." Judge Marion ব্যক্ত "okay; I would like to begin with an opening statement and/or প্রশ্ন দ্বারা Mr. Hayes's lawyer for any parties involved. Damien's lawyer ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি Your Honor."

He walked over to our টেবিল and asked "have আপনি been supportive in creating a healthy father-son relationship between Carter and Damien?" I looked at my lawyer to make sure it was okay to answer and ব্যক্ত "all I can do is try and I tried for a long time!" He asked "what sort of things did আপনি try in terms of supporting that relationship between the two of them?" I ব্যক্ত "the one time he did প্রদর্শনী up I tried to get him involved in caring for our son." The lawyer asked "and how did that experience go? Please try to answer without criticizing Damien's character." I looked at my lawyer confused and he ব্যক্ত "your honor that প্রশ্ন is impossible to answer due to the fact that the child's father was never interested in bonding with his son in any way." Damien's lawyer asked "okay then; what is your current relationship like with Damien at this very moment?" I said" I've only seen him a total of three times since Carter has been born." He ব্যক্ত "I understand that আপনি and Damien had several sexual encounters after the time of the child's birth; is this true?" I sarcastically smiled as I shook my head in disbelief and ব্যক্ত "that is a complete and utter lie!" Damien's lawyer asked "so what you're telling me is that আপনি and Damien never had relations after the child's conception?" I quickly glanced over at Damien and ব্যক্ত "we did once; the দিন after Carter's first birthday." The judge ব্যক্ত "these প্রশ্ন are completely irrelevant to the matter of custody; সরানো on Sir!"

Damien's lawyer asked "is it true that আপনি yourself have a past filled with underage drinking?" I reluctantly ব্যক্ত "yes sir." He asked "when was the last time আপনি consumed any alcohol?" I had to think about it for a মিনিট because it was so long পূর্বে and ব্যক্ত "if I'm remembering correctly the summer of 2008." He asked "have আপনি had any altercations with the police since the child has been alive?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't know what আপনি consider an altercation with the police; but I do get the occasional speeding ticket." He asked "have আপনি been charged with these speeding tickets while Carter is in the vehicle?" I ব্যক্ত "I would never go over the speed with Carter in the car Sir!" He asked "is it true that আপনি have since gotten married?" I ব্যক্ত "yes sir." Damien's lawyer looked over at Kyle and asked "do আপনি feel that আপনি and Alanna have created a healthy environment for her son to be growing up in?" Kyle ব্যক্ত "yes sir." He asked "do আপনি feel like আপনি and Alanna model a healthy relationship between the two of আপনি in front of Carter?" Kyle ব্যক্ত "very healthy Sir!" Damien's lawyer ব্যক্ত "that's all the প্রশ্ন I have for them Your Honor; আপনি may continue."

My lawyer began to interrogate Damien starting with asking "is it true that আপনি abandoned Alanna and your unborn child without even giving any notice?" Damien responded "yeah; but I had my reasons for doing that!" My lawyer asked "what would be your reasoning for that? How do আপনি justify leaving a 14-year-old girl who just found out she was pregnant to fend for herself?" Damien ব্যক্ত arrogantly "she wasn't completely on her own! She had Michael there for help and my mother would visit from time to time!" The lawyer asked "is it true that আপনি had problems with underage drinking as well?" Damien ব্যক্ত "I have in the past; but I attend Alcoholics Anonymous on a weekly basis currently."

I looked over at Kyle and whispered "oh that is such ষাঁড় crap!" Kyle whispered back "let him say whatever he wants to say because in the end he is only making it harder on himself!" My lawyer asked "how come আপনি have not paid a single penny for any of Carter's necessities since he has been alive?" Damien responded "AJ makes millions of dollars; so I didn't think it really mattered!" The lawyer responded "just because she makes millions of dollars doesn't mean that আপনি shouldn't be held accountable for your responsibilities to your son!" Damien ব্যক্ত "yeah well; I don't agree with the fact that AJ's boyfriend অথবা husband অথবা whatever the hell he is to her is allowed to be around Carter without my consent!"

I raised my hand and the judge allowed me to see what I was going to say. I ব্যক্ত "I apologize your honor; but Damien doesn't deserve the right to have his opinion heard! I'm not trying to glorify Kyle because he is imperfect just like everyone else on this earth; but he does everything that Damien should be অথবা should have been doing this entire time! He watches him all দিন long for me while I'm at work! He picks Carter up and drops him off at school most days because I am unable to due to my work schedule! Kyle pretty much single-handedly taught Carter how to use the toilet; including waking up at night with him! Damien; if আপনি want to criticize someone's parenting go ahead and pick on me instead of Kyle because he's willing to do everything and anything for Carter and I wish I could say the same thing for you; but I can't!"

The judge ব্যক্ত "here's what I'm going to do, we're going to do a trial weekend with Carter and Damien together! In order for that to happen, Damien needs to be held accountable for paying some sort of child support! If after the weekend is over and Damien still has not paid any sort of child support then he will be forced to serve four months in jail and all his parental rights will be terminated; am I understood Mr. Hayes?" Damien shook his head in agreement and Judge Marion ব্যক্ত "courts adjourned!"

As we were walking out of the courthouse and over to the truck, we noticed that Damien's car was parked right পরবর্তি to us. I opened up the truck door as Damien walked to his car and ব্যক্ত "I'm one step closer to 50-50 custody AJ; which means you'll have to pay me child support just like I'll have to pay you!" Kyle ব্যক্ত under his breath "just shut up!" Damien ব্যক্ত as he puffed out his chest trying to act tough "what did আপনি say আপনি British butt kisser?" I looked at Kyle as I gently pushed him into the truck and ব্যক্ত "don't listen to him babe! He's just doing that to get a reaction out of you!"

I hurried to start the truck and I stuck my middle finger out the window at Damien as we drove off. As we started our half-hour journey back to Neverland where Prince was babysitting Carter for us I started to tear up. Kyle asked "why do আপনি look like you're about to cry babe?" I ব্যক্ত "I just realized that Damien's going to have Carter all দ্বারা himself for an entire weekend! In a way; Damien is getting what he wanted this entire time!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I highly doubt that after this first visit with Carter that we'll have to worry about Damien anymore!" I ব্যক্ত as I grabbed Kyle’s hand "it made me so mad when Damien wanted to complain about আপনি being around Carter! I couldn't hold my tongue any longer! I just had to say something! If it wasn't for you; I wouldn't have millions and millions of dollars for Damien to try to squeeze out of me! Don't get me wrong; I প্রণয় Carter to death! I just don’t understand why I had to lose my virginity to such an immature deadbeat dad! Sometimes I just wish that I would've gotten pregnant with your baby and have Carter be yours because I know আপনি wouldn't leave me! I mean; any guy who wants to deal with all this drama every দিন for the rest of his life all for a kid that isn't even his must have some real balls!" Kyle chuckled and ব্যক্ত "it's so worth it because every দিন I get to hear Carter say 'daddy; I প্রণয় you! Daddy; am I your good boy! Daddy; will আপনি fix my toy for me? Daddy; I want to be just like আপনি when I grow up and be the best daddy in the whole wide world!" I started crying even harder and asked "Carter really says all that stuff to you?" Kyle ব্যক্ত "oh yeah; when he was a little over three he used to follow me around wearing his fake tool বেল্ট and tried to copy what I was fixing!" I grabbed Kyle's hand and ব্যক্ত "I know that Damien's going to screw up this one weekend taking care of Carter on his own; so I can't wait until he is out of our lives for good!" Kyle laughed and I asked "what's so funny?" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I kind of wish that Damien didn't wait until Carter was five to do this whole weekend alone taking care of him because it would've been funny to send him with Carter when he was a baby! We would've had some really funny stuff to laugh at imagining Damien waking up every 15 মিনিট like আপনি had to! Damien's going to have a pretty easy weekend with Carter because all he has to do is sit him in front of the TV that entire time!"

February 22, 2014,

Kyle whispered in my ear as I stared at Carter watching TV "Damien's going to be here in a half ঘন্টা to pick up Carter for the weekend! আপনি still haven't told Carter that I'm not his father and that his real father is going to be picking him up any minute! আপনি have to tell him AJ!" I ব্যক্ত "I know I do Kyle; but this is going to be hard for me! That's why I waited so long!"

I walked into the living room and ব্যক্ত "Carter; I need to talk to আপনি about something buddy!" He asked "what's wrong mommy?" I ব্যক্ত "you know that daddy loves আপনি very much; but he's not your real daddy." Carter asked "what do আপনি mean he is not my real daddy?" I couldn't even respond to him as I stared blankly into his eyes. Kyle ব্যক্ত "mommy had another boyfriend before she met me and he's your daddy Carter." I ব্যক্ত "he's coming to pick আপনি up in a few মিনিট and you're going to spend the weekend with him." Carter ব্যক্ত as a car pulled up in front of the gate "you're going with me; aren't আপনি mommy?" I ব্যক্ত "I'm not Carter."

Kyle opened the door as Carter jumped into my arms and grabbed onto me with a death grip. I hugged him and carried him outside to the driveway with Kyle walking behind me. I slowly walked up to Damien who was sitting in his car with a police officer standing পরবর্তি to him outside the car. Carter cried hysterically into my shoulder and Damien got out of the car. I ব্যক্ত as I continuously patted Carter's back "did আপনি really need to have the police officer here Damien?" Damien ব্যক্ত as he mocked to me "I wanted to make sure that আপনি went through with giving him to me because this is court ordered and if আপনি didn't let me take him from আপনি it would be against the law!"

I ব্যক্ত "okay Carter; Damien's going to take আপনি for the weekend now." Carter protested at the শীর্ষ of his lungs "NO; MOMMY I DON'T WANT TO GO!!! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME!!!” I ব্যক্ত as I started to tear up while desperately trying to hold it together so Carter wasn't scared আরো than he already was "I have to!!!" The police officer ব্যক্ত "you need to hurry up Mrs. Jackson because I have places that I need to be!"

As I tried passing Carter from my arms to Damien's, Kyle reluctantly had to pry Carter's fingers from around my neck and Damien buckled him into the car seat. Carter screamed "PLEASE SAVE ME DADDY!!!" Damien looked Carter in his eyes and ব্যক্ত sternly "stop calling him that! He's not your daddy; I am!" I could see the look of pure terror in Carter's eyes as he immediately ব্যক্ত "I'm sorry." Kyle ব্যক্ত as he leaned into the car window "I swear to God if anything happens to him; your গাধা is mine!!!" Damien just rolled up to his window and followed behind the police officer in the cop car.

I immediately fell to my knees and started crying hysterically. Kyle grabbed onto me and started crying into my shoulder. I ব্যক্ত in between sobs "I can't do this every weekend! There's just no way!!! Carter wanted me to go with him and I can't believe that he is going to be alone with Damien without any supervision for an entire weekend! CARTER DOESN'T EVEN KNOW DAMIEN!!!" I tried desperately to stand up; but my nerves wouldn't let me. Kyle literally had to carry me inside because if he didn't I would've been out there crying all night long on the driveway!

Kyle sat down on the পালঙ্ক as I sat on his lap and cried into my hands. Kyle ব্যক্ত with tears in his eyes "he wanted me to rescue him and I have to admit that if the police officer wasn't standing right there I would have!" Kyle moved the back of my শার্ট down and ব্যক্ত "there are marks on your back from Carter digging his fingernails into your skin!!!" I ব্যক্ত "that doesn't surprise me! He was holding on to me for dear life!!!" Kyle ব্যক্ত as he wiped the tears that were streaming down his face "this is going to be the longest weekend ever babe!!!" I ব্যক্ত "I want Carter to come back now!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I do too!"

February 24, 2014,

I ব্যক্ত out loud "Damien better hurry up and get here because I've been waiting all weekend to see my son!" Kyle held my hand as Damien pulled up in front of the house. I ran up to the car and without saying a word to Damien, I took Carter out of the car. Damien looked at Carter and smiled before getting a serious expression on his face. He stared at Carter and sternly ব্যক্ত "don't forget what I said!" With that, Damien sped off down the road and I ran towards Kyle with the biggest smile on my face. Kyle ব্যক্ত as we walked inside the house "mommy and me missed আপনি so much Carter!" I kissed Carter's cheek and asked "did আপনি have fun?" Carter looked at me as his body physically shook in my arms. I asked with a confused look on my face "what's wrong Carter?"

Before I could get an answer from him, I felt something warm running down my leg and wrinkled my eyebrows. Kyle ব্যক্ত "ummm look babe!!!" I looked down at the ground to see that I was standing in a yellow puddle. Carter immediately burst out crying and ব্যক্ত "I'M SO SORRY MOMMY!!!" I ব্যক্ত sympathetically "it's alright Carter! I'm not mad at you! We'll just change your clothes because আপনি need to take a bath anyway!!!"

The three of us went up to Kyle and I’s bedroom. Kyle started the water in the bathtub in our bedroom's bathroom and I quickly took off my baggy jeans. I changed into a pair of pajama pants. Kyle ব্যক্ত "okay Carter; you're all set! Mommy and I will come back in a few মিনিট to wash your hair."

As Kyle walked into the bedroom I watched as Carter walked into the bathroom shaking with his pants completely soaked and shut the door. Kyle sat down পরবর্তি to me on the edge of the বিছানা and ব্যক্ত "that was surprising!" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; I know! Carter hasn't peed in his pants since he was three!!!" Even if he did have an accident; he would've never gone all over me!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I wonder why he keeps shaking so badly!"

I opened the bathroom door and walked inside with Kyle behind me. Carter continued to shake as I knelt down in front of the tub to wash his hair. The সেকেন্ড I touched Carter's head he flinched and I asked "what's wrong sweetheart? Why are আপনি shaking like that Carter?" He ব্যক্ত something that completely confused me "you can hit me if আপনি want to mommy! I shouldn't have had an accident!" I ব্যক্ত "no; I'm not going to hit you! Where would আপনি come up with such a crazy idea like that from Carter? I've never ever hit আপনি before and I never ever would hit you; ever!!!!!!!!" I heard Kyle whisper "that son of a bitch; I'm going to fucking kick his ass!!!"

I looked at Kyle with a puzzled expression on my face and asked "what the heck are আপনি talking about and why haven't আপনি blinked your eyes in the last five minutes? What are আপনি staring at Kyle?" Kyle had rage in his eyes like আপনি wouldn't believe as he pointed at Carter's back. I leaned backwards and couldn't believe my eyes as I saw an almost a perfect outline of a hand print in red on Carter's back!!! I asked severely concerned "Carter; did Damien hit you?" Carter uncontrollably shook and stuttered as he ব্যক্ত "I – I – I'm not supposed to say anything!!!" I ব্যক্ত "I'm going to kill Damien!!!"

After Carter got dressed he ব্যক্ত "I think Damien still has my bag of clothes with him in his car mommy!" I ব্যক্ত calmly as I pulled the covers back on his বিছানা "that's okay; we'll get them!" He climbed into বিছানা and I covered him up before lying down পরবর্তি to him. Kyle came in and knelt down on the side of the bed. I asked "Carter; why did Damien hit you?" Carter ব্যক্ত "I told আপনি that I can't say anything!" I asked "why not?" He responded "because Damien ব্যক্ত if I ever told anyone that he would kill both আপনি and daddy when you're sleeping!!!!!" I ব্যক্ত "he won't kill us Carter; I promise!!!" Kyle ব্যক্ত as he held onto Kyle's hand "I won't let that happen Carter; but আপনি need to tell us why Damien hit you!" Carter ব্যক্ত "he was অভিনয় really weird because he was drinking this drink and he tripped over me because I was playing with my race cars on the floor! He was yelling bad words at me and then hit me because I wasn't moving out of the way fast enough!"

My হৃদয় broke into 1 million pieces as I tried to imagine how terrified Carter must've been! I shook my head in disgust and kissed the শীর্ষ of Carter's head. I asked "can I ask আপনি something Carter?" He ব্যক্ত "yeah mommy." I asked "did আপনি wet your pants because আপনি thought daddy and I would hit you?" Carter ব্যক্ত "mostly that's why; but Damien didn't let me go to the bathroom before we left the hotel to come back here and দ্বারা the time we got into the house I couldn't hold it anymore! I really am sorry mommy!" I ব্যক্ত "you don't have to be sorry Carter! It wasn't your fault! When আপনি have to go আপনি have too! Kyle ব্যক্ত as he stroked Carter's fingers "yeah; it's no big deal buddy! I actually thought it was pretty funny that আপনি peed all over mommy!" Carter started cracking up and Kyle ব্যক্ত "we want আপনি to know that neither mommy nor I would ever hurt আপনি like Damien did!" I ব্যক্ত "I promise আপনি that we will NEVER hit আপনি Carter; no matter what আপনি do!!!"

We could hear the noise of the doorbell ringing from downstairs and I turned the volume up on Carter's TV to muffle any noise just in case it was Damien downstairs! I shut Carter's bedroom door as Kyle bolted down the steps after looking out the window. I chased after him after seeing that Damien was the one ringing the doorbell.

I ran past Kyle and swung open the door. Damien was about to pass me Carter's backpack full of clothes when I pulled him inside and pushed him to the ground. Damien asked arrogantly "what the fuck is your problem?" I ব্যক্ত "don't act like আপনি don't know!" Damien whispered "oh; that little snitch! He wasn't supposed to say anything!" I ব্যক্ত "HE'S FREAKING FIVE YEARS OLD DAMIEN!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He ব্যক্ত "what's wrong with me? What about what's wrong with আপনি AJ? You're the one overreacting and being a দুশ্চরিত্রা for no reason!" Kyle shouted at the শীর্ষ of his lungs "WHAT THE HELL DID আপনি JUST CALL HER?" Damien ব্যক্ত arrogantly as he smiled "you heard me right! AJ is just some দুশ্চরিত্রা that I screwed around with once and that's all she'll ever be to me!" I ব্যক্ত as I threw my hands up in the air "oh my God Damien! I'm the mother of your son and all আপনি can call me is a bitch!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "CALL HER THAT AGAIN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!" Damien asked "why? What are আপনি going to do about it?"

I gave Kyle a look of carelessness as I ব্যক্ত "go right ahead babe; I'm not going to stop you!" Before Damien even had time to react, Kyle decked him in the side of his face so hard that when he fell his head went right through the drywall. I laughed harder than I had ever laughed before as Damien looked up at Kyle as if he was a scared কুকুরছানা dog! Kyle asked as he looked down at Damien "would আপনি like some আরো because there's plenty আরো where that came from?" Damien rapidly shook his head in disapproval and Kyle ব্যক্ত "I'm giving আপনি until the count of three to get the hell out of this house before I change my mind; one, two –!"

I fell to the ground in hysterical laughter as Damien stumbled out of the house and down the রাস্তা holding his head. Kyle shut the door and ব্যক্ত "I don't think we'll have to worry about him for a long time babe!" Kyle helped me off the ground and I ব্যক্ত while still trying to catch my breath "you freaking scared the crap out of him Kyle! That was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen in my life! The look on his face was priceless! I wish I had my camera with me!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "he obviously doesn't have any respect for women if he talks to them like that! I wasn't about to let him stand here and call আপনি a দুশ্চরিত্রা over and over again! He doesn't treat আপনি like he should because আপনি are the mother of his son! Now that that's over with, let's go upstairs and watch TV with OUR son!"

February 25, 2014,

Carter has been stuck to me like glue since Damien dropped him off yesterday. He doesn't want to be alone no matter what. We were eating ডিনার and Carter didn't seem like his usual self. He has hardly touched his খাবার and he asked "is Damien going to come pick me up this coming weekend mommy?" I ব্যক্ত "he's supposed to." Carter ব্যক্ত with a worried expression on his face "I don't want to go with him again!" I ব্যক্ত "don't worry Carter; I'm not going to let him take you!" Carter asked "isn't it against the law for আপনি to keep me from going with Damien? Won't আপনি get in trouble?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't care if I get in trouble Carter! I'm not going to risk আপনি going over there unsupervised and being hit again! I don't think Damien is going to প্রদর্শনী up; but if he does then I'm going with আপনি Carter!"

Kyle ব্যক্ত "I highly doubt that he will actually প্রদর্শনী up after what I did to him yesterday!" I ব্যক্ত "I think it's ridiculous that he even wants to have Carter on the weekends because আপনি and I both know that Damien isn't spending time with him! It's really a waste of my time with Carter because I don't get to spend a lot of time with him either!”

March 2, 2014,

Carter was waiting for Damien to pick him up for the weekend and I had my bags packed because I had fully planned to go with them for safety reasons. An ঘন্টা and a half past and Damien still hadn't arrived and we figured that he wasn't going to প্রদর্শনী up because of the huge fight that happened last weekend.

I was upstairs in the bedroom watching TV with Kyle went I noticed Damien quickly drive up to the mailbox outside the gate and drop something inside. He sped off without even getting out of his car and I ব্যক্ত "I wonder what he dropped in the mailbox Kyle." Kyle responded "I'll go check; be right back." I watched out the window as Kyle went down and outside to the mailbox.

After grabbing the small white envelope, he made his way back up to our bedroom and passed me what he had retrieved. I was really reluctant to open the envelope because it's usually something bad inside. I pulled out what appeared to be a letter written in Damien's terrible handwriting. I read aloud so Kyle could hear "I obviously can't handle আপনি and how bitchy আপনি are AJ! I don't know what আপনি want from me! One মিনিট আপনি want me to be there for Carter and the পরবর্তি মিনিট আপনি don't! I'm done with আপনি and your games and have decided to be very selfless! I went to the courthouse and signed a document that terminated all of my parental rights to Carter as his father. I hope you're happy and I want আপনি to know that every kid deserves to be smacked around every once in a while! I don't feel bad about hitting Carter at all and I never will! At least, now আপনি know where I stand! The only thing I want from আপনি now is to keep in contact with my mother because she would be totally devastated if আপনি cut Carter out of her life! I don't প্রণয় him; but she does and it wouldn't be fair to her! I hope আপনি have a good life with that meathead husband of yours! PS, it was always about the money! I told আপনি that I didn't care about Carter from the very beginning! Say whatever আপনি want about me because I obviously don't care what আপনি think about my ability to be a good father! I never wanted to be a father and according to the legal termination of my parental rights I'm not a father!"

I ব্যক্ত "well; I guess we don't have to worry about Damien anymore!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "he is such an idiot; I mean seriously? He is still trying to justify why he hit Carter! At least he admitted that all he was trying to do was get money from আপনি and that he never intended to have a good relationship with Carter!"

March 21, 2014,

Frank leaned over my shoulder as we went on to iTunes.com to see the results of how my new album "footprints of my father" is selling. I smiled as I ব্যক্ত "I'm number one on the iTunes শীর্ষ 10! I beat Bieber; even after all this time has gone by!" Frank high-fived me and ব্যক্ত "I bet আপনি already know what I'm thinking!" I ব্যক্ত "I really don't want to go on tour right now! It was hard enough leaving Carter the first time! Now I'll have to leave Kyle and Carter here! Just when I thought everything was going to calm down; this happens! I still have plenty of money coming in from merchandise sales!" Frank ব্যক্ত "yeah; but it's nowhere near as much as আপনি earn when you're on tour! I'm telling আপনি that আপনি will make double the cash আপনি made with your last tour! That was your debut album and people want আরো from আপনি apparently! I think আপনি should really consider it because আপনি don't want to start losing fans! Alright; well I have to head out. I'll call আপনি in a couple of days to hear what আপনি decided to do! If I were আপনি I would do it! It would be a really good financial investment for আপনি and your family because আপনি have to remember that you're not only doing this for yourself anymore! This is your job and your way of providing for your family! You're the only income; so it's all on your shoulders! It's up to আপনি to make sure that Kyle, Carter, and আপনি are able to keep up the lifestyle you've become accustomed to! আপনি think you're living the perfect life right now; but wait until $30,000 feels like nothing because আপনি make so much money! I'm telling আপনি that going on tour in the near future is one of the best decisions that আপনি could possibly make! No pressure; just sleep on it kid and I'll give আপনি a call in a few days!"

After Frank left, Kyle came downstairs and ব্যক্ত "hey AJ!" I said" I need to talk to আপনি about something." He ব্যক্ত "that's good because I needed to talk to আপনি about something too; আপনি go first!" I ব্যক্ত "Frank thinks it's a good idea that I go on tour again to bring in tons of cash. I kind of want to; but I really don't want to travel all over the world!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "I think আপনি should go on tour! It will be good for আপনি because you've been on mommy duty for a little over three years! আপনি kind of disappeared out of the public eye! I don't want people to forget who আপনি are because I know how much আপনি প্রণয় being a musician! That's been your dream and I don't want আপনি to give up on it! I don't care what it takes! I'll be here to watch Carter that entire time that you’re away on tour! Your happiness is the most important thing to me AJ! I just want আপনি to go out there and find আপনি again because I think you're starting to lose yourself as a person! It's okay that আপনি need a break! You're losing your identity as a person! আপনি do too much for everyone else and not enough for yourself! It's time to start taking care of you! I've got Carter handled; there's no reason to worry about him!" I asked "are আপনি sure about this because if আপনি are I'm going to call Frank right now and tell him to start booking সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান dates?" Kyle ব্যক্ত "yes AJ; don't worry about us!"

After calling Frank and telling him to start setting up plans for my পরবর্তি tour, I asked Kyle "what did আপনি want to talk to me about?" He ব্যক্ত "never mind babe." I ব্যক্ত "no; just tell me! I want to know!" He ব্যক্ত "since I can't get আপনি pregnant naturally; I was thinking we could think about adopting a child." I thought about it for a few মিনিট before saying "that doesn't actually sound like that bad of an idea! I think Carter would like to have a little brother অথবা sister. If আপনি want to go ahead and start looking into the paperwork and stuff that goes along with adoption; আপনি can. It'll give আপনি something to do while Carter is at school and I'm away on tour." Kyle ব্যক্ত "I heard that there's a lot of paperwork to fill out; so it could take up to eight months before adoption agencies can start matching us with available kids."

April 26, 2014

I ran frantically for my cell phone as it continuously rang playing my Jesse McCartney ring tone. I looked at the caller ID to see that it was Frank and answered the phone দ্বারা saying "hello." He ব্যক্ত "I just got off the phone with some tour promoters and they told me they want to start the tour on December 29 of this year! Starting in Los Angeles, all around the world and completely global this time! Dubai, Japan, China, Switzerland, just pretty much every significant country আপনি can think of!" I ব্যক্ত "December 29; that's only four days after Christmas! Don't আপনি think that's asking too much of me to leave Kyle and Carter right after the holidays?" Frank ব্যক্ত "I know it's going to be hard for আপনি AJ; but just think of how much money you'll make and how extremely lavish your lifestyle will be with all that cash in your pocket! Sometimes in life, আপনি have to do things that আপনি don't want to do just because that's best for everyone around you! The promoters are dead set on December 29th being the first সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান of your tour!" I ব্যক্ত "fine; but only because I don't have any other choice!"

Without even saying goodbye to me, Frank hung up the phone and Kyle asked "what was he so excited about? I could hear him screaming from all the way over here!" I ব্যক্ত "apparently, he just got done talking with the সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান promoters and they want me on tour at the end of this year!" He ব্যক্ত "that sounds awesome AJ! Why don't আপনি seem excited?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't know; I guess I just wasn't expecting Frank to সরানো so quickly with getting the tour up and running!" Kyle asked "should we tell Carter that আপনি are going to be going on tour again?" I ব্যক্ত "we will; eventually! I just don't want to upset him right now because I have a feeling that he's not going to like being separated pretty much entirely from me for nine long months! He was only a baby last time I left; so I don't even think he remembers what it's like to not have me there! I sure as hell remember what it was like not being able to be with him every single দিন and I'm not looking অগ্রবর্তী to it at all!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "it will be hard on all of us; but it's for the best and I promise that we'll Skype আপনি all the time!" I ব্যক্ত "that will definitely help; but it's not same as being able to hug আপনি guys anytime I want to! I just hope that I'm not asking আপনি to do too much while I'm away! It's going to be a lot for আপনি to handle!" He ব্যক্ত "don't worry about it AJ; it's not too much for me! Besides, I still have that life-size cardboard cutout of আপনি in my closet just in case I get lonely!" I playfully slapped his arm as I ব্যক্ত "shut up; you're obsessed with that cardboard cutout! I still think that thing is creepy and it better not be standing in the রান্নাঘর when I get back!"

October 31, 2014,

Carter ব্যক্ত "trick-or-treat" as he stood in front of one of the million dollar houses in our neighborhood dressed as the কমলা ninja turtle. After getting his candy, I ব্যক্ত "okay Carter; we're going to go প্রথমপাতা now. Daddy and I want to talk to আপনি about something on the walk back to the house." I looked at Kyle with a depressed look on my face and he put his hand on my shoulder.

We walked down the রাস্তা and I kicked pebbles with my feet as I looked down at the ground waiting for the right moment. I ব্যক্ত "Carter; I'm going to be going on tour again." Carter got excited and ব্যক্ত "I can't wait to go with আপনি and daddy all over the world!" I sighed and ব্যক্ত "you and daddy are going to stay here!" He asked "what do আপনি mean mommy? আপনি can't leave me here! I need to go with আপনি because I'll miss আপনি too much!" I ব্যক্ত "I wish I could take আপনি Carter; but I just can't!" He ব্যক্ত "it's not going to be any fun here with just daddy!" Kyle joked "what am I chopped liver; compared to mommy?" Carter ব্যক্ত "mommy's আরো fun than আপনি are daddy." I laughed and ব্যক্ত "he just dissed আপনি Kyle!" Kyle joked "I see how it is Carter; mommy is the favorite! I'll have to remember that পরবর্তি time when আপনি want me to help আপনি tie your shoes!"

December 20, 2014,

I finished wrapping Carter's বড়দিন presents on the বিছানা and Kyle came out of the bathroom wearing just his boxers. I looked over and crossed yet another দিন off of my calendar. I sighed and ব্যক্ত "only eight আরো days left!" Kyle ব্যক্ত "nine straight months with no sex! I ব্যক্ত "I have a feeling that I'm not going to be in the mood after tonight because I'll be really depressed! আপনি better make tonight count!" He turned on the radio and ব্যক্ত "trust me; it will be worth it!"

As we lay there with our bodies pressed up against each other, "stay" দ্বারা রিহানা came on the radio station. "I want আপনি to stay, stay, I want আপনি to stay" blared through the speakers as Kyle pulled away from our passionate make out session. He saw a single tear run down my face and asked "I'm not hurting you; am I?" I ব্যক্ত "no; I'm fine!" He rolled off of me and ব্যক্ত "no you're not; you're crying! If I'm hurting আপনি then just tell me!" I ব্যক্ত "you're not hurting me Kyle!" He asked "then why are আপনি crying?" I ব্যক্ত "BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!" He asked while continuing what he had stopped "then why are you?" I ব্যক্ত "I don't have a choice! I have to provide for আপনি guys because I'm the only income! Besides, I can't let all my অনুরাগী down! I প্রণয় performing; but I just wish Frank didn't just throw all of this on my lap!" I already have enough pressure as it is; let alone with him criticizing everything I do! I don't want to talk about this anymore because it's going to get me out of the mood! There's nothing we can do about it; it is what it is! Now if আপনি don't mind, can we just get back to the প্রণয় because that's all either of us are going to be getting for nine months?"

Afterwards, I rolled over with my back to Kyle and my arms crossed as I slipped my clothes back on. Kyle ব্যক্ত "I didn't mean to make আপনি mad AJ!" I ব্যক্ত "well; আপনি succeeded!" He ব্যক্ত "we still haven't had our first fight yet and I don't want to start now!" I ব্যক্ত "then I suggest that আপনি leave me alone!" He fastened the buttons on his শার্ট and ব্যক্ত "fine; if that's what আপনি want then I'll leave আপনি alone just to avoid getting into a fight with আপনি because I want this to be a fight free marriage. I প্রণয় আপনি AJ and I'm sorry." I ব্যক্ত as I rolled back over facing towards him "I can't stay mad at you! The entire time I was facing the other direction I was smiling and trying not to laugh!"

December 29, 2014,

I stood there in my tour bus in front of Neverland and looked around. Kyle ব্যক্ত "okay Carter; we have to get off the bus now." Carter wrapped his arms around my neck and wouldn't let go when I tried to put him down. He screamed "no mommy; I'M GOING WITH YOU!!!" I ব্যক্ত "you can't Carter! It's not going to be as fun as আপনি think it is being on tour! I'm working all the time and I wouldn't be able to spend time with আপনি either way! I promise আপনি that I'll get on Skype every দিন with আপনি guys!" I tried to put him down again and he still refused to let go. I ব্যক্ত "I could use a little help here Kyle!"

Kyle pried Carter away from me as he continued to scream at the শীর্ষ of his lungs. He cried as he protested "LET ME GO DADDY! I'M STAYING ON THIS BUS!" Kyle turned his face as Carter continuously flailed his arms all over the place trying to get out of his grip. Kyle ব্যক্ত "I would hug আপনি AJ; but as আপনি can see my hands are pretty full at the moment. I whispered in his ear "that's okay; I'll see আপনি at the সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান and I can hug আপনি there! Don't forget to drop off আপনি know who at my grandmother's!" I kissed Carter who was still relentlessly trying to grab hold of me. As I pulled away he grabbed my hair and I ব্যক্ত while laughing "OUCH; KYLE HURRY UP AND GET OUT OF HERE BECAUSE HE'S RIPPING THE HAIR OUT OF MY HEAD!"

As we made our way to the arena in the tour bus, Frank asked "are আপনি okay kid? আপনি look pale!" I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and ব্যক্ত "yeah; I think it's just nerves! It's been over three years since I've performed on tour!" He ব্যক্ত "you're just like your dad; once আপনি get out on that stage all your nerves will disappear!" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; you're probably right!"

A half ঘন্টা before the সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান starts, I sat backstage on the পালঙ্ক with my hand on my forehead. I looked in the mirror to see that I was pale as a ghost and drenched with sweat. Frank asked "are আপনি sure you're feeling okay AJ?" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; I'm fine! I'll get over whatever is going on! It's these stupid nerves getting –."

Before I could finish the sentence, I ran off to the bathroom and violently started throwing up. Frank knocked on the door and ব্যক্ত "I've never seen আপনি this nervous before! Everything is going to be just fine! Your অনুরাগী প্রণয় আপনি and the dedicated অনুরাগী will always be there; no matter what!" I stood up and walked out of the bathroom as I ব্যক্ত "you're right Frank; I don't know what's gotten into me! I'm never usually this nervous! It must be because Kyle's going to be here watching me tonight."

There was a knock at the door and Frank ব্যক্ত "speaking of Kyle; I think he's here!" Frank opened the door and Kyle immediately noticed my appearance. He put his hand on my forehead and ব্যক্ত "you don't feel warm; but আপনি look awful babe!" I laughed it off and ব্যক্ত "thanks for the compliment!" He ব্যক্ত "I'm serious AJ! আপনি look terrible!" I gently pushed him out of the way and ব্যক্ত "come on; আপনি can sit on the edge of the stage where the backup dancers come in from! You'll be able to see better than anyone else that way! He ব্যক্ত "I don't think আপনি should go out there AJ!" I asked "would আপনি just relax; I'm fine! My অনুরাগী are waiting for me and once I get out there and started গান গাওয়া again my anxiety will go away!"

***30 সেকেন্ড before the সঙ্গীতানুষ্ঠান entrance***

I sat there in the stage টোস্ট করার বৈদু্যতিক যন্ত্র with my hands on my head trying not to think about how bad my stomach was turning. My head continuously pounded with the sound of the loud screaming. I was catapulted onto the stage and that's when I realized something was seriously wrong with me! The room just felt like it was spinning out of control and I fell to the ground with a bang that was heard loud and clear দ্বারা the microphone I wore over my head. The last thing I remember was the thousands of অনুরাগী letting out gasps as I saw Kyle run to my side.

***

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Kyle's face. I looked around the room and asked "where are we?" He ব্যক্ত "in the hospital babe." I asked as I sat up at the edge of the বিছানা "what happened?" He ব্যক্ত "the doctors don't really know yet! They just ran some tests down to the lab! They ব্যক্ত আপনি could have collapsed from dehydration; but then I told them how much stress আপনি have been putting on yourself lately! They are pretty sure that that's what caused আপনি to pass out!"

A female doctor came into the room and shook my hand. She sat down in a chair and ব্যক্ত "it seems like the stress you've been under is really affecting your health! That's আরো than likely what caused আপনি to black out. If আপনি don't mind, I'm going to ask আপনি a few questions." I rubbed my eyes and ব্যক্ত "go ahead." She asked "have আপনি been sleeping okay?" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; nothing out of the ordinary." She asked "what about eating?" I ব্যক্ত "just my typical foods that I eat while preparing for my tour." She asked "how far along are you?" I ব্যক্ত "with the tour; this is the very first concert." She ব্যক্ত "no, no, not with the tour. How far along are you?" Kyle and I looked at each other in confusion and I ব্যক্ত "I'm sorry; I don't quite understand what you're asking me." She asked "how far along is the baby?" Kyle and I asked in unison with completely confused looks on our faces "what baby?" She ব্যক্ত "I'm sorry; I thought আপনি knew that you're pregnant!" Kyle laughed and sarcastically ব্যক্ত "yeah right doctor; stop messing with us! I can't get Alanna pregnant; I'm sterile!"

The doctor passed me a piece of paper and written on it was "pregnancy: positive." I whispered as Kyle continued to laugh because he thought she was joking "the 5% chance." Kyle asked "what did আপনি say AJ; sorry I was laughing too hard to hear you?" I ব্যক্ত "the 5% chance! IT'S THE 5% CHANCE THAT আপনি COULD GET ME PREGNANT; that week before বড়দিন when I was crying and we almost got into a fight; IT WORKED!!!!" Kyle turned white as a ghost and stuttered as he ব্যক্ত "wait – we had sex – but – how – it's not supposed to – oh my God!!!" His eyes rolled back in the back of his head and he fell to the ground with a thud.

When he came to, I looked down at him as I held his head and he ব্যক্ত "I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!! Is this for real? Is this really happening? ARE আপনি REALLY PREGNANT AJ?" I nodded my head and ব্যক্ত "yes; I really am pregnant! আরো importantly though, FRANK HAS TO POSTPONE THE TOUR until after the baby is born!"