As I turned to walk out of the room, I heard her babbling something and turned around. I playfully ব্যক্ত "I woke আপনি up; didn't I?" I walked up to her and lifted her into my arms. I kissed her forehead and ব্যক্ত "happy first birthday Alanna!" I bought her downstairs and put her in the living room while I went to go get something for us to eat. I came back into the living room with a container of yogurt and a spoon. I sat down on the edge of the পালঙ্ক and asked "here; আপনি want some?" I can never get her to sit down long enough because she's always wantng to go somewhere. Every few মিনিট she would walk up to me and try to grab the spoon. I ব্যক্ত "you have to ask for it." Then she showed me sign language for "more" and I would feed her a spoon full. I'm not ব্রেভ enough to give her the spoon because I have a feeling that the entire living room would end up covered in yogurt!
My bodyguard Jeffrey came downstairs and ব্যক্ত "oh; the birthday girl is awake!" I ব্যক্ত "yeah; I was hoping she would still be asleep so we would have time to start decorating for the party; but I accidentally woke her up." Jeffrey asked "well; now that I'm awake, what would আপনি like me to start helping আপনি with Mr. Jackson?" I walked over to the coffee টেবিল and grabbed a notepad. I passed it to him and he asked "only Janet, your brothers, Latoya, Rebbie, your mother, and Frank are invited to the party? I thought for sure আপনি would've invited আরো people! You're not going to invite Debbie অথবা Lisa Marie?" I ব্যক্ত "Debbie ব্যক্ত she doesn't really want to be around the baby too much because she doesn't want to get attached. As for Lisa, I'm still hurting a lot and I don't know if I’m ready to forgive her! She devastated me because I wanted to have children so badly with her! I'm not even sure if she pays attention to the tabloid magazines enough to know that Alanna even exists!" Jeffrey ব্যক্ত "fair enough Sir; what would আপনি like my help with?" I ব্যক্ত "well; আপনি can start helping me put the decorations up around the house!" I grabbed a big cardboard box from inside the closet and drop it down on the table. Jeffrey started sifting through it and asked "don't আপনি think this is a little too much stuff for a one-year-olds birthday party? I mean, she's not really going to know the difference between a couple of balloons and streamers as opposed to 300 of them!" I playfully smacked his shoulder and ব্যক্ত "stop whining Jeffrey; anything for my little girl!"
It took us over an ঘন্টা and a half to get all of the baby color পরাকাষ্ঠা decorations and plates spread out across the first floor of the house. Before I knew it, there was a knock on the front door and I opened it to find Latoya standing there with a big white box in her arms. I invited her inside and she placed both the big white box and a gift bag on the রান্নাঘর table. I ব্যক্ত "thanks for picking up her birthday cake for me on such short notice! আপনি are a lifesaver!" Latoya responded as she hugged me "of course Michael; the staff members there at the bakery already had it waiting for me when I arrived. I can't wait for আপনি to see what it looks like!" I ব্যক্ত "you weren't supposed to look at it Latoya; it's supposed to be a surprise!" She ব্যক্ত "I know Michael; I'm sorry! I just couldn't help it because it was sitting right পরবর্তি to me in the car!" I lifted the lid on the cake box and ব্যক্ত "this is so adorable and so pink! I like the hot পরাকাষ্ঠা feathers they glued to the base of the cake! It's so girly!"
Just after placing the cake on the টেবিল in the dining room, the rest of the family members and my manager Frank arrived at the house. I'm still not too thrilled with the fact that my brothers are actually here because Alanna has only seen them a few times since she's been born; which is pretty pathetic if আপনি ask me! I hugged each of them and Jackie asked "where is Allison?" I cringed with irritation as I ব্যক্ত "her name’s not Allison it's Alanna and she is in the living room!" Jackie ব্যক্ত "sorry about that. I'm going to wish her a happy birthday!" After a while, I started to lose track of time because I was wondering why Alanna was অভিনয় so fussy and when I looked down at my watch I noticed it was 20 মিনিট past her nap time.
We all went to the dining room and I ব্যক্ত "we have to try to do this birthday cake and present thing kind of fast because she could fall asleep any মিনিট now!" I shut the lights off as Latoya brought the birthday cake with the candles lit into the dining room. She put it down in front of Alanna; who was sitting on my lap and we all sang happy birthday to her. Afterwards, I helped her blow out the candles and before I could even stop her, she shoved her face into the side of the cake! All of us started cracking up as she lifted her face covered in পরাকাষ্ঠা frosting and did a face plant onto the table. I looked down at her and ব্যক্ত "I don't think she's going to be eating the cake today!" Mother asked "why not Michael?" I ব্যক্ত "because she's fast asleep!"
***
"Can আপনি say 'daddy'?" My daughter looked at me as if I had three heads and continued to eat the few crackers I put on her high chair tray. I ব্যক্ত "apparently আপনি can't; that's okay! We'll work on it and before আপনি know it you'll know thousands of words!" I took her out of the high chair and brought her into the play room where all her toys are. As I sat there picking up a few toys off the floor, Jeffrey invited my manager Frank inside the house. He came into the room and sat down পরবর্তি to me on the floor. I asked "what are আপনি doing here? We didn't have anything planned for today; did we?" He responded "I can't believe আপনি forgot already; আপনি have the televised interview with Diane Sawyer in just a few hours!" I slapped my hand against my face and ব্যক্ত "I better call Grace to come watch the baby then! This is the first time I'm leaving her with the baby on her own because all আপনি and I have really been working on is finishing up the new album in my personal recording studio!"
After Grace arrived at the house, I led her inside to the play room where Alanna was watching the lion King on the TV. I asked concerned "are আপনি sure আপনি don't want me to stay? It's not too much for আপনি to watch her on such short notice; is it?" Grace ব্যক্ত "you're worrying for nothing Michael. Go have a nice interview and things will be fine when আপনি get back! আপনি can trust me!" I kissed Alanna over five times before Frank grabbed me দ্বারা my arm and dragged me out of the house. We got into the car and he ব্যক্ত "calm down Mike; the baby is fine! আপনি need to get yourself into interview mode and trust that the nanny has everything under control!" I took a deep breath and ব্যক্ত "I know; it's just really hard for me because I've never left her with somebody else before without me being there! It's better late than never because I was going to have to do it eventually when I go on tour again." Frank asked "are আপনি nervous about the interview?" I ব্যক্ত "I'm pretty nervous because we scheduled this interview a বছর in advance when me Lisa I were still together and Diane was supposed to interview both of us as a couple! I don't know what I'm going to talk about now!" Frank suggested "you could talk about what it's like being a daddy!" I ব্যক্ত "I really want to keep the talking about Alanna to a minimum because I don't think she needs the overexposure অথবা the press to be all over her!"
I sat there in the interview chair on the set of the Diane Sawyer প্রদর্শনী with her sitting across from me looking at cards that she held in her hands. The cameraman signaled to start rolling and she introduced the প্রদর্শনী like she normally does. She started asking me the typical প্রশ্ন about "history" and the tour. I knew it was only a matter of time before the topic of Alanna came to surface. She asked "so; how's your little one?" I felt trapped and obligated to answer the প্রশ্ন because it's a live broadcast show. I knew I couldn't just avoid the প্রশ্ন like I normally would! I ব্যক্ত reluctantly "she's doing well!" Diane asked "is she a chip off the old block?" I ব্যক্ত "it's hard to really tell because she's only 13 months old; but she does প্রণয় when I play সঙ্গীত around the house!"
I was silently hoping and praying that she was done probing me for উত্তর about something that I clearly didn't want to talk about! I tried to make it clear with my body language and thankfully she caught on! About 40 প্রশ্ন later, the interview was over and I breathed sigh of relief as I walked off the stage. I immediately pulled Frank away from the snack টেবিল and ব্যক্ত "come on; I want to get out of here and go back to my baby!" Frank quickly grabbed a doughnut in each hand and followed me out the back door to the car. After we got inside, I ব্যক্ত "I hated how Diane kept asking me about Alanna when I obviously didn't want to talk about her! I want আপনি to make it very clear to any interviewer in the future that talking about my kids is strictly off-limits! I don't want to have to be put in that situation again! I had no choice but to answer the প্রশ্ন because it was on live TV! Either আপনি tell them not to ask about Alanna anymore অথবা I just won't do live TV shows anymore!" Frank asked "are আপনি seriously going to use that against me Michael? It's not like I wanted that to happen!" I rolled my eyes and ব্যক্ত "yeah right; if আপনি don't want that to happen আপনি wouldn't have brought it up on the car ride to the TV set!" For the rest of the ride back to the ranch Frank sat there silent because I think he was embarrassed that I caught him in a lie!
As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I bolted out of the car and inside the house. I ran upstairs and Grace was just shutting Alanna's bedroom door. I whispered "did আপনি have any trouble getting her down for a nap because I wasn't here?" She ব্যক্ত "she cried for the first few মিনিট and then I just put a movie on the TV in her bedroom. She's not asleep yet; but she probably will be any মিনিট now!" I quietly crept into her room and glanced down at her as she smiled up at me with her pacifier in her mouth. I rubbed her back and ব্যক্ত "hi.” She took the pacifier out of her mouth and ব্যক্ত "hi daddy" as she drifted off to sleep. I shut the bedroom door and ব্যক্ত "she just ব্যক্ত her first words! I have a feeling that once I get her talking she's not going to stop!"
***
It seems like Alanna has been learning tons of words every single দিন since she started talking! The only one that she really likes to say right now is "no." She must've learned that word from hearing me say it over and over again to her. I feel I am going to have to learn to use another word besides no! She's almost 20 months old now and I can't believe how fast time is going by.
***
I was sitting at the টেবিল with Grace because I wanted to have a conversation with her about Alanna. I ব্যক্ত "Frank came over yesterday and finalized the dates for my tour." She asked "have আপনি decided whether অথবা not you're going to take the baby with আপনি অথবা leave her here with me?" I ব্যক্ত "I couldn't sleep at all last night because I was trying to figure out what I'm going to do! I just don't think that I could leave her behind! I just don't think it would be fair to either of us! Obviously I can't spend every waking মিনিট with her while I'm busy with the tour; that's why wanted to ask আপনি if আপনি would go on the tour with us just to watch Alanna during the day?" She sat there in silence for a few মিনিট and then ব্যক্ত "I would প্রণয় to go all over the world with আপনি and the baby together! When do we leave?" I responded "September 14th is when we leave and go straight to Munich." She ব্যক্ত "this is honestly the best job I've ever had!"
***
I miss the days when Alanna was just a happy go lucky baby because now she is starting to প্রদর্শনী the signs of starting her terrible twos! I don't think negotiating is going to work for very long because she's starting to throw temper tantrums and I find it really embarrassing as a father.
We sat there in the living room watching TV when I ব্যক্ত "okay; I think it's time to watch something else now because we've seen this movie five times in a row and daddy is getting a little sick of it.” She protested "no; আরো Aladdin! Don't shut it off!" I ignored her and walked up the TV to switch the movie. I put "the শিয়াল and the hound" on the TV and sat back down on the couch. Alanna did something that she had never done before; she climbed onto my lap and slapped my leg. I casually ব্যক্ত "that wasn't very nice." She just looked at me and slapped my leg again. I did like I would normally do if she was অভিনয় out and just ignored her.
মিনিট later, Grace arrived at the house because I decided to get her আরো acquainted with Alanna since she will be spending a lot of time with her while I'm on tour. I invited her inside and she asked "did আপনি have another business meeting that আপনি need to go to?" I ব্যক্ত "no, I'm going to be around the house all দিন and I just wanted আপনি to get আরো comfortable with the baby. Actually I wanted to ask আপনি if আপনি would like to সরানো into one of the guest bedrooms? I won't charge আপনি rent অথবা anything? I just want আপনি two to get used to each other because I probably won't be around as much as I want to be when the tour starts. She ব্যক্ত "I would প্রণয় to live here temporarily! I just want আপনি to know that if আপনি feel that I am invading your rights অথবা your parenting just tell me because I have a tendency to do that with past clients." I ব্যক্ত "I have a feeling that আপনি and I are going to get along just fine!"
As I stood there in the রান্নাঘর talking with Grace, Alanna continued to give me dirty looks from inside the living room. Grace and I walked into the living room and Alanna resumed in slapping my legs. I rolled my eyes and ব্যক্ত "I think someone needs a nap." Grace suggested "you know Michael; she is almost 2 years old. It wouldn't be a bad time to start enforcing discipline with her." I ব্যক্ত "no, I'm a really laid-back type of dad. I think she's too young for that stuff anyway. I don't think she really knows any better!" Besides, she's too cute to be mad at!" Grace chuckled and ব্যক্ত "whatever আপনি say Mr. Jackson! I just think you're going to regret it later on because I don't think you're laid-back parenting approach is going to work for very long!" I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "I personally think you're wrong about that; but we'll have to see who's right!"
***
Grace is officially moved in temporarily at Neverland and I kind of like having someone to talk to other than Jeffrey. I opened my eyes because I felt like something was climbing all over me as I lay there in bed. The first thing I saw was Alanna jumping up and down on the bed. I looked at the clock and ব্যক্ত "grace must've taken আপনি out of your ডাবা when আপনি woke up.” I playfully scooped her into my arms and carried her downstairs. Grace was just starting to make a pot of coffee when I sat Alanna down in her high chair. Grace ব্যক্ত "nice to see that আপনি two finally woke up!" I asked puzzled "what do আপনি mean the two of us? আপনি didn't take Alanna out of her ডাবা a little while ago?" Grace looked at me confused and ব্যক্ত "no, why would আপনি think that?" I ব্যক্ত "because when I woke up this morning she was jumping up and down on my bed. She must've climbed out of her ডাবা on her own! That's just great; now I have a whole other thing to worry about now that she can get out of it on her own!"
I stood up and ব্যক্ত "since she's going to be two years old পরবর্তি month, maybe it's time to get rid of the crib!" Grace and I laughed as Alanna grinned from ear to ear at the sound of me saying that." I ব্যক্ত "I guess that means that we're going shopping today!" Grace ব্যক্ত "I have some things of my own to take care of; but if আপনি need me I'm just a phone call away." I shook my head in agreement and went back upstairs with the baby to go get ready for the day.
My bodyguard Jeffrey drove Alanna and I to a children's store and I asked "how come all these cars are in the parking lot Jeffrey?" Jeffrey ব্যক্ত "oh my gosh Mr. Jackson; I'm so sorry I forgot to call the manager and ask him to shut the store down in advance!" I responded "that's fine; I'll just put the mask on Alanna so we can go inside. I just hope not too many people interrupt us because I have a shopping to do. You'll definitely have to go inside with us now Jeffrey because it'll be absolute chaos if আপনি don't!"
The সেকেন্ড we entered the store, all the customers went crazy. I'm all for appreciating my fans; but sometimes I would just like to be left alone and to be treated like a normal person! I had to make my decision on what বিছানা to purchase very quickly because I just wanted to get out of the chaos! After picking out the bed, I grabbed a পরাকাষ্ঠা bedding set off of a shelf and that's when Alanna had a complete MELTDOWN! She threw herself on the ground and refused to get up. I have to admit that I was completely embarrassed because I didn't know what to do. Now I felt like everyone else was looking at me for a different reason other than the fact that I'm Michael Jackson.
I tried to pick her up; but that just made matters worse because she kept screaming "that one, that one, that one" at the শীর্ষ of her lungs. I reluctantly grabbed the Navy blue comforter set off of the shelf and gestured for Jeffrey to pay for it. I dropped the comforter at Jeffrey's feet and ran out the door with Alanna in my arms! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!
***
I'm still recovering from the incident at the furniture store yesterday. It only made matters worse because some people snapped pictures of the tantrum and sold it to tabloid magazines! I hope she gets over this tantrum phase because I'm going crazy!
Jeffrey came downstairs at around 7 o'clock at night and ব্যক্ত "I finally built the বিছানা frame and put the mattress inside Mr. Jackson. I already took the ডাবা out of Alanna's room and Grace is in there putting the bedding on it right now." I picked Alanna up and asked excitedly "are আপনি ready to go see your big bed?" She looked at me confused as we walked up the steps and into her room. I put her down and she immediately asked "no crib?" I picked her up and put her on her new বিছানা under the covers. I ব্যক্ত "nope; no আরো crib! আপনি stay in your বিছানা and watch a movie until আপনি fall asleep; okay?"
After turning on the TV, I walked out of the room and flopped backwards on the বিছানা in my bedroom. I was startled দ্বারা the sight of Alanna standing পরবর্তি to the বিছানা because I wasn't expecting her to be there. I got up and ব্যক্ত "no; আপনি have to go back to your room and go to sleep." I placed her back into her বিছানা and ব্যক্ত "sleep well." Once again, she came back into my bedroom and I brought her back to hers. After doing that several times, I think she was getting frustrated to with me because when I went back to my room she started to cry.
Every time she cries it's like the most awful thing she could do to me as a father. I just can't handle it. She started shouting "daddy your room" over and over. I whispered to myself "don't do it Mike! আপনি can handle this! It's not that bad!" I sat there for 15 মিনিট trying to distract myself দ্বারা watching TV; but then she ব্যক্ত something that I just couldn't ignore. She ব্যক্ত in between sobs "I প্রণয় আপনি daddy!" That destroyed any willpower that I had left!
I walked into her room and wrapped her in my arms as tight as I possibly could. She stated again "your room daddy! I sleep in your room!" I reluctantly ব্যক্ত "yes; we're going to my room! We'll try the বিছানা again tomorrow night!" I carried her back to my room; but she had fallen asleep in my arms before I could even lay her down. I gently placed her on the opposite side of the বিছানা and turned the volume down on the TV.
I couldn't help but look at her as she lay there পরবর্তি to me; curled up in a little ball with one of her thumbs in her mouth. I feel guilty for bringing her in here; but I think she's starting to realize that she has her daddy wrapped around her finger. I have to start figuring out this whole assertive parenting style and fast!
