Chapter 2,

I'm so glad to be প্রথমপাতা and I almost forgot that today's the first দিন of my two মাস break between legs of my tour. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over at Christian who was still fast asleep. I got ready for the দিন and went downstairs to wash the dishes that we used with the ice cream ডিনার last night. I have a maid that can do my dishes for me; but I don't like when I'm not treated like a normal person. If I can do my own dishes then I'm going to do them!

I was in the middle of washing a plate when a bloodcurdling scream came from upstairs. It surprised me so much that I dropped the plate and it shattered into 1,000,000 little pieces. I whispered "dammit; I cut myself!" I ran upstairs and into my bedroom to see what was wrong. Christian was sitting in the বিছানা hyperventilating and I picked him up into my arms. I ব্যক্ত "it's alright; I didn't go anywhere! I was just downstairs." He looked at my bleeding finger and ব্যক্ত "ouch." I ব্যক্ত "oh that; that's nothing!"

I got him ready for the দিন and brought him downstairs. The maid had already cleaned up all the glass from the plate and I ব্যক্ত "we're going to go shopping today Christian. Are আপনি ready to go bye-bye?" James and Tim came out of the security quarters and ব্যক্ত "you're all set to go to the toy store Michael! We have the store shut down for the দিন so আপনি can go in there with Christian দ্বারা yourself." I ব্যক্ত "thank আপনি guys!" James ব্যক্ত "don't drive too crazy Michael!" I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "yeah right; like I would drive crazy!" I put Christian down for a সেকেন্ড and ব্যক্ত "I almost forgot about the car আসন I ordered! We can't go anywhere without that!"


I walked over to the closet and pulled out a box containing the car seat. Tim asked "would আপনি like my help installing that into your car Michael?" I grabbed the car আসন in one hand and Christian in the other as I ব্যক্ত "no; I think I can handle it." I took Christian outside to the driveway and put him down on the ground as I ব্যক্ত "okay; আপনি stay right here while I put this in my car. I wasn't worried because I knew he wouldn't leave my side and he was being incredibly patient with me. I never thought that strapping a car আসন into my car would be so difficult.

Finally, I threw my hands up in the air and reluctantly called Tim for help. He came outside and chuckled as he was able to install the car আসন in less than five minutes. I thanked him for his help and put Christian in the car seat. I buckled him up him and got into the driver’s seat. It had been quite a while since I had driven my car because I've been on my tour for so long. It almost felt foreign for me to be behind the wheel of a car.

I drove extremely slow to the toy store and snuck through the back door with Christian; so nobody outside would know that we were there. I shut the door behind me and the manager greeted me with a "hello Michael." I ব্যক্ত "hi; long time no see!" He responded "yeah; I know! How is your tour going?" I ব্যক্ত "I'm on a break right now; but all I have left are the American shows and it's over!" The manager looked over at Christian and asked "who's this?" I ব্যক্ত "this is Christian and I'm looking after him until he can be adopted দ্বারা a family. Try to keep that a secret though because I don't want the press to be all over him!" He ব্যক্ত "don't worry Michael; your secret is নিরাপদ with me!"

I put Christian down on the ground and I don't think he knew what to make of the toy store; probably because he's never been in one before. He clung to my leg as we walked down the aisles and I ব্যক্ত "you can pick out anything আপনি want." I don't think he believed me because he didn't even want to pick up any of the toys. I knelt down পরবর্তি to him and started playing with a "hot wheels" racetrack that I could tell he wanted. I ব্যক্ত "you want this; so I'm going to buy it for you!" After I put it in the shopping cart, I think he started to realize that I wasn't joking because he started sprinting down the aisles of the store.

I looked at his face when he saw a whole area of the store dedicated to Mickey Mouse. He shouted "Mickey, Mickey, Mickey!" I smiled from ear to ear and asked "you like Mickey Mouse?" He pointed to the toys and ব্যক্ত "Mike; that's Mickey!" I chuckled and ব্যক্ত "I know that is! I প্রণয় Mickey মাউস too! I'll get আপনি some of that stuff!" He ব্যক্ত "no" and I sympathetically ব্যক্ত "yes; I'll buy আপনি anything আপনি want Christian!"

He went back to অভিনয় shy and I started putting anything that had to do with Mickey মাউস into the shopping cart. I picked Christian up and pushed the shopping কার্ট to the checkout counter. After we had bought our stuff, I carried Christian and the bags to the car. I looked at my watch and asked "are আপনি hungry? Do আপনি want to get something to eat?" He didn't answer me and I smiled as I looked into the rearview mirror and asked "you know আপনি can talk to me; right? I don't bite! Let's try this again, are আপনি hungry?" He smiled and ব্যক্ত "yeah." I ব্যক্ত "then I'll get আপনি something to eat!"

There is a পিজা place that I usually go to; so I decided to bring him there because they don't allow the paparazzi to come inside while I'm there. I carried Christian inside and we were immediately seated at a booth. I looked over to the other side and saw my good friend Elizabeth Taylor. I tapped her shoulder and she turned her head to look at me. She ব্যক্ত "Michael; you're back! Here; let me sit with you!" She came over and sat on the other side of the table. Christian immediately gripped my arm and started to shake. I ব্যক্ত "it's okay buddy; she's a nice lady!"

Elizabeth reached out to shake his hand and he just hid his face in my শার্ট sleeve. I ব্যক্ত "he is a shy little guy!" Christian climbed onto my lap and started playing with my pair of sunglasses that was hanging out of my শার্ট pocket." Elizabeth ব্যক্ত "he seems to like আপনি Michael!" I ব্যক্ত "I think I'm slowly winning him over!" I took the sunglasses out of my pocket and put them on Christian's face. Elizabeth and I laughed as Christian looked at me with my aviator sunglasses almost covering his entire face. I ব্যক্ত "you're too cute; I don't know how আপনি haven't been adopted yet!"

The waitress brought our খাবার to the টেবিল and I started to cut Christian's খাবার for him. Elizabeth looked at me and smiled as she ব্যক্ত "wow Michael; I've never seen this side of আপনি before!" I passed him the fork with পিজা on it and he took a bite. I asked "is that good?" He shook his head yes and Elizabeth ব্যক্ত "I have to leave; but আপনি two have fun!" I hugged Elizabeth and she stuck out her hand for Christian to shake. To my surprise, he actually shook her hand and I ব্যক্ত "bye Liz."

***

I went downstairs this morning with Christian in my arms and he was still sleeping. I figured it was a good idea to bring him downstairs with me because I didn't want him staring me half to death দ্বারা screaming when he realizes that I'm down here without him. I lay him down on the পালঙ্ক and went into the রান্নাঘর to make myself some coffee. That's when I remembered all the stuff that I had bought him yesterday. I walked outside to the car quickly because I didn't want Christian to wake up and think that I had disappeared.

I quietly shut the front door as I walked back inside and into the living room with the bags. I knew that Christian would want to play with all the toys as soon as he woke up. I sat there on the floor for 45 মিনিট taking everything out of its packaging and when I got to the Mickey মাউস play cell phone I accidentally hit a button. It started talking and that woke Christian up. He opened his eyes and I ব্যক্ত "good morning; sleepyhead!" He sat up and ব্যক্ত "wow; Mickey!" I passed him the toy cell phone and ব্যক্ত "I believe that's yours!"

I had bought him a set of windup Mickey মাউস race cars and he absolutely loves them. He looked at me and ব্যক্ত "I can't wind it up; will আপনি help me Mike?" I smiled as I lay down on my stomach on the floor and ব্যক্ত "I sure can!" I started to wind the toy back up for him and all of a sudden I felt something climbed onto my back. I turned my head slightly and giggled as Christian wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He ব্যক্ত "you're really fun Mike!" I reach my hand back and tickled his foot. I stood up with him still on my back and ran up the stairs.

I gently dropped him off of my back and onto the bed. I started tickling him and ব্যক্ত "I told আপনি that I don't have a mean bone in my body kiddo!" Christian asked "am I going to stay here?" I ব্যক্ত "probably for only about a week অথবা so and then you're either going to go with a new family অথবা you're going to live with your mommy again." Christian went silent after that and he didn't want to play much of anything afterwards. I wonder if I ব্যক্ত something that I shouldn't have.

***

I was woken up দ্বারা the phone ringing and quickly answered it; so it didn't end up waking up Christian. I went downstairs and ব্যক্ত "hello." The voice ব্যক্ত "hello Michael; it's Rosemary. I'm just calling to check in on Christian." I ব্যক্ত "he's doing great; he really warmed up to me! He's my little buddy now!" She ব্যক্ত "that's great Michael; I still haven't found a প্রথমপাতা for him and his mother is still dealing with her own issues right now. If আপনি don't mind, it's probably going to take a few weeks to find him a প্রথমপাতা অথবা for his mother to better herself; so will আপনি watch him until then?" I ব্যক্ত "of course I will; he'll be glad to hear that!" She hung up the phone after saying goodbye and I ran upstairs to make sure Christian wasn't awake get.

He opened his eyes upon me entering the room and I smiled at him. I ব্যক্ত "I guess you're going to be staying here a lot longer than I expected আপনি to." I walked him down the stairs holding his hand and he ব্যক্ত "I want to color আপনি a picture!" I ব্যক্ত "okay; I'd like that!" As I sat there with him at the টেবিল with a stack of plain white paper and a box of crayons, I asked "do আপনি know what color this is?" He looked at me confused and ব্যক্ত "red." I giggled and ব্যক্ত "no silly; that's yellow!" I picked up another one and asked "what about this one?" He ব্যক্ত "orange" and I ব্যক্ত "no; that's purple! আপনি don't know your রঙ do you? What about shapes? Can আপনি draw a square?" He looked at me and asked "square?" I grabbed a crayon and demonstrated how to draw a square; but he still didn't understand the concept of shapes.

***

Christian has been with me for about a মাস and a half now and it feels like he's always been here. He's really come out of his shell over the past couple weeks and he's not as shy as he used to be; except with women. Sadly, I haven't been able to invite my mother over to the ranch because Christian spends the whole time trying to hide from her.

There was a knock at the door while I was watching কার্টুন with Christian on the couch. I got up to answer the door and noticed it was my manager Frank. I invited him inside and he ব্যক্ত "I need to talk to আপনি for a second." He sat down পরবর্তি to me at the রান্নাঘর টেবিল and I asked "what do আপনি want to talk about?" He ব্যক্ত "Christian; he's been here too long Michael!" I ব্যক্ত "I promised I would look after Christian for as long as it took to find him a stable environment to live in!" Frank ব্যক্ত "Mike; your tour starts up again in a week and a half! আপনি can't take him with আপনি all over the world!" I ব্যক্ত "I don't know why আপনি get so bent out of shape over nothing Frank! We still have a week and a half; don't freak out!"

Frank got up from his আসন and walked out the door without saying a word to me. I walked back into the living room and sat back down on the পালঙ্ক as I noticed that Christian had fallen asleep. I carried him upstairs and lay him down on the bed. I went back downstairs and sat back down on the পালঙ্ক as I bowed my head in my hands. I'm so confused and I don't understand why Frank feels like he has to be so hard on me all the time. I'm just trying to do what I feel is right; why is that so bad? I'm giving a child the chance to have a temporary প্রথমপাতা until things fall into place for him!

***

I was playing hide and seek with Christian when the phone started ringing and I ব্যক্ত "hang on; I'll be right back!" I answered the phone and Rosemary ব্যক্ত "I have some great news for আপনি Michael! Christian's mother seems to be doing a lot better than she was and I decided that she's আরো than capable of taking care of him again. I smiled and ব্যক্ত "oh; that's great!" She responded "can আপনি bring him back to লন্ডন at the end of the week?" I tried to hide my sadness as I ব্যক্ত "of course; I'll bring him back on Sunday and we can do the trade-off between me and his mother." She ব্যক্ত "that's great; see আপনি then!"

I hung up the phone and found Christian hiding in the closet. I ব্যক্ত "I finally found you!" I picked him up and brought him into the living room to sit on the couch. I ব্যক্ত "guess what; you're going to be with your mommy on Sunday and আপনি get to stay with her!" He started crying and I asked "what's wrong?" He ব্যক্ত "I don't want to go back there Mike; mommy's mean!" I looked at him confused and asked "what do আপনি mean mommy's mean?" He ব্যক্ত "mommy yells at me and she's always sleeping because of her medicine." I asked "what does her medicine look like?" He responded "it's a drink and she drinks it all the time! It makes her cry and it makes her mad. I don't like being at her house because it's dirty and Adam is always hurting mommy!" I asked "who's Adam?" He ব্যক্ত "her boyfriend; he's scary! Please don't make me go back there!"

I sat there silently for a few মিনিট because I didn't know what to say. How could Rosemary allow Christian to go back into a প্রথমপাতা like that? Is she really that desperate to find him a home? I looked at Christian again and ব্যক্ত "well; Rosemary says your mommy is all better now Christian! I don't think she would have আপনি go back there if she wasn't better!" He whispered "I just want to stay here with you! I don't want to live with my mommy anymore!" I ব্যক্ত sympathetically "I promise আপনি that I bet your mommy is all better now! Rosemary wouldn't let আপনি go back there she wasn't! I wish I could have আপনি stay here until they could find to another family to live with; but I have to go back to work and Frank will be really mad at me if I miss any shows!"

I dried his tears with my sleeve and ব্যক্ত excitedly "hey; আপনি still have a few আরো days here with me until I have to bring আপনি back! Let's make the best of them!" I picked him up and brought him outside to the trampoline. I placed him on it and he didn't even know what to do. I started jumping up and down as I ব্যক্ত "jump!" He ব্যক্ত "no; this is too scary! I want to go back inside!" I ব্যক্ত "there's nothing to be afraid of; আপনি can't get hurt on this!" I picked him up into my arms and jumped as high I possibly could. He started laughing and I ব্যক্ত "I told you; there's nothing to worry about!"

***

Here we are in লন্ডন and I can't believe our last three days together went দ্বারা so fast. I rolled over and gently nudged Christian awake. He opened his eyes and I ব্যক্ত "good morning buddy! We have to hurry and drop আপনি off with your mom!" He seemed to want to stall everything and I can't blame him because I would've done the same thing if I was in his situation!" As soon as he finished eating, I brought into the lobby of the hotel and waited for his mother to get there.

She was two hours late when she finally showed up and I couldn't believe my eyes. I ব্যক্ত to myself "Rosemary must be blind if she thinks this woman can care for a child!" The lady walked up to me and I couldn't believe how skinny she was! She's no আরো than 80 pounds and the smell of alcohol was so strong that it made my eyes water! I clutched Christian in my arms and she ব্যক্ত "hi; আপনি must be Michael! I'm here for Christian now!" She didn't even greet him as she took him out of my arms and I passed him a Mickey মাউস stuffed animal! I ব্যক্ত "it's nice to meet you" and reached down to grab the bag of stuff that I had bought for Christian. I ব্যক্ত "this is –" but the woman cut me off and ব্যক্ত "he doesn't need any of that crap!"

I could tell that Christian really wanted to cry; but I think his fear of his mother was stopping him. I didn't even have time to say goodbye as she turned around and walked out the door with him in her arms. I knew there was nothing I could do because I had no right to decide if Christian should go with this woman. There wasn't anything left to do… Except walked away.

***

I just finished the seventh of my final eight concerts on my "bad" tour and I was sitting backstage. Frank walked up to me and ব্যক্ত "you haven't been অভিনয় like yourself lately! What's gotten into আপনি Michael?" I stood up and started to walk away from him as I ব্যক্ত "I don't know what you're talking about Frank; I'm fine!" He ব্যক্ত "I just thought আপনি would be আরো excited that your tour is almost over; that's all." I picked up an আপেল from the টেবিল of খাবার and started to peel the sticker off of it as I asked "what's there to be excited about?" Frank asked "what do আপনি mean Michael? Aren't আপনি excited to get back to Neverland and be able to visit your mother anytime আপনি want to?" I ব্যক্ত "sure; I guess!" Frank ব্যক্ত "that doesn't sound very excited to me!" I ব্যক্ত "whatever" as I walked out of the room and down the hallway that leads to the exit.

My bodyguards James and Tim accompanied me back to the hotel. I disappeared off to my room and shut the door behind me. I flopped backwards onto the বিছানা and kicked my shoes across the room. I looked down at my aviator sunglasses that were sitting on the nightstand and picked them up. I chuckled and thought to myself about how cute Christian looked when I had put these on his face in the পিজা parlor.

I turned the TV on and noticed there was a Mickey মাউস cartoon playing. I don't know what came over me and I just started crying. Crying like never before! I think it was because I was holding so many feelings inside and I just had to let them out! I got out of বিছানা and ran down the hall as fast as I could. Frank opened his door and asked "what's your problem Michael?" I walked up to him and gave him a big hug as I asked "why did I have to let him go? That was so stupid!"

Frank pulled me into the room দ্বারা my শার্ট and shut the door behind him as he asked "what the hell are আপনি talking about Michael?" I ব্যক্ত "Christian! He shouldn't have to live with a mother like that!" Frank ব্যক্ত "I'm sure he's fine Michael!" I ব্যক্ত "yeah well; Christian told me otherwise! I have a feeling that he's living with an alcoholic, deadbeat and her abusive boyfriend!" Frank ব্যক্ত "Christian is only 2 1/2! আপনি can't believe everything he says because kids over exaggerate things Michael!" I ব্যক্ত "I believe him and I don't want him staying there with her!"

Frank threw his hands up in the air and asked "where do আপনি expect him to go? There are no other families for him to live with!" I rubbed my eyes and ব্যক্ত "no; you're wrong! There is somebody that wants him!" Frank ব্যক্ত "I thought আপনি ব্যক্ত that Rosemary didn't have any families looking to adopt a child that young." I ব্যক্ত "I may not be an entire family; but one parent is better than none!" Frank's eyes widened and he ব্যক্ত "whoa Michael! Fostering a child is extremely different from adopting one permanently! You're not ready for that Michael!" Frank sat down in a chair and sarcastically asked "what are আপনি going to do; kidnap him from his mother?" I ব্যক্ত in an irritated tone of voice "no; I'm going to প্রতিবেদন his mother to England's child protective services for abuse!" Frank ব্যক্ত "there's one small problem with your plan Michael. Did আপনি forget that you're the biggest pop তারকা in the world? Christian's mother could make it seem like আপনি filed a false প্রতিবেদন and try to sue you! I can guarantee আপনি that if আপনি get involved she's going to drag আপনি through a custody battle!" I ব্যক্ত "so what; I need Christian back and I'll do whatever it takes to get him back!"

***

My private airplane landed at a লন্ডন airport and I went to the child protective services building with my bodyguards. I walked inside and ব্যক্ত "hello; who do I talk to about filling out a report?" The lady at the ডেস্ক didn't even look up from the computer as she pointed to the room across from her. I walked inside and sat down at a ডেস্ক with a man in a suit. He looked up from his computer and ব্যক্ত "whoa; you're Michael Jackson!" I wasn't in the mood for all of this and ব্যক্ত "yeah; I’d like to প্রতিবেদন some abuse!"

The man took out a pad of paper and a pencil and asked "do আপনি mind if I ask আপনি a few questions?" I nodded for him to continue and he asked "who are আপনি filing the প্রতিবেদন against?" I ব্যক্ত "her name is Melissa Carthage" and he asked "what's the name of the child?" I ব্যক্ত "Christian Carthage" he asked "what makes আপনি suspicious of what's going on in Melissa's house?" I ব্যক্ত "Christian described to me how his mother drinks all দিন long and she is physically abused দ্বারা her boyfriend Adam. The alcohol gives her mood swings and she takes everything out on Christian; which is not okay with me!!!"

The man filed the প্রতিবেদন and I went to the local courthouse to serve Melissa with custody papers. James and Tim just looked at me in disbelief as they asked "so আপনি are really going to go through with all this Michael?" We walked out of the courthouse and I ব্যক্ত "of course I am! I'm not going to let a child suffer like that and I'm definitely not going to let him end up back in an orphanage!" Tim's cell phone rang and he ব্যক্ত "yeah; he's right here." Tim passed me the phone and I ব্যক্ত "hello." Frank's voice on the other end of the phone sounded angry as he asked "where the hell are আপনি Michael? Your প্রদর্শনী starts in 20 minutes!" I responded "no doesn't; I canceled it!" He shouted "you canceled it! That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard!” Without saying anything back to him, I hung up the phone and ব্যক্ত "someone's in a bad mood."