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posted by ThatDamnLlama
Top 20 Dwight Schrute Quotes:

1. When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
2. I am faster than 80% of all snakes.
3. I don’t care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.
4. I don’t believe you, continue.
5. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also,...
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There’s Newfoundland and Labrador,
Saskatchewan, Ontario,
Quebec, Alberta, Manitoba,
New Brunswick and Nova Scotia.

Prince Edward Island’s very small,
but British Columbia tops them all!

[And that's where Vancouver is.]

But… before I finish up my story,
আপনি should know the territories.

There are only three so I’ll be quick,
the Yukon, Northwest, and Nunavut.

If আপনি want to have a ball,
there’s Saskatoon and Montreal.

And if আপনি want to pack your sacks,
we’ll be going off the Halifax.

And if you’re looking for a wife,
be sure to visit Yellowknife.

NATURAL RESOURCES!

Perennial geraniums,
nickel–think uranium,
are filling up my cranium,
the exports that they boast.

Keep going? No? Ingrates.
This is a completely factual and accurate genealogical account of the Schrute family line. It is based on first hand information from Dwight Kurt Schrute, obtained during the filming of a documentary. The names, dates, locations and all other information may be made up, but the rest is the absolute truth.
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Effie Margaret Elderstein was the only child of wealthy German factory owners. She was a quiet and plain young woman, who had many suitors, but little interest in any of them. When...
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